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There was a resounding clatter that emanated within the small apartment. Silence. Then, the roaring of beasts of all sorts. Felines, rodents, birds and canines alike all joining together in a slew of alarm. A tall boy then rose up from where he was sitting, raising a hand to his small army of beasts. The roar immediately died down to anxious chirps, squeaks, and whimpers. Stepping toward the door, the boy, Gundham Tanaka, pondered in his mind what could have alarmed his loyal friends. Opening the door and peering into the hallway, there was no one. The boy nearly gave up his search for the perpetrator until noticing a peculiar item.
Gundham squinted his eyes toward it, the letter was beyond anything ordinary. He could tell as much by the aura that letter had emanated, hung haphazardly out of the small mailbox. Outstretching his bandaged hand, he took the letter from its resting place and made his way back inside. Thoughts began to overtake him as he walked without thinking towards the kitchen table, thumbing open the seal on the letter.
This paper is heavy and thick, alongside a shimmering glow of a postage stamp. Yes, this is surely an important letter. A calling to destiny, to fate, to what will lie beyond this mortal realm!
The boy’s face began to light up for once in a long time, chuckling to himself. Sliding the letter out from the envelope, Gundham unfolded it and began to read.
“Congratulations, Tanaka Gundham!
You have been scouted by our program at Hope’s Peak Academy to enroll in our 77-B class. We have recognized your extraordinary talents in rescuing endangered species from extinction, as well as general animal care. We would like to take this opportunity to extend the title of "Ultimate Breeder" to you. If you choose to accept this invitation, please contact.."
Very few times had Gundham been rendered speechless. However, this chaotic spell chained around his mind broke as quickly as it had appeared. With a reinstated vigor to his movements, he glided down the hall, into his own room. Faster than he, himself, Gundham Tanaka, the Overlord of Ice could comprehend, he dressed properly. Normally he would not fret over such trivial things as appearances, but his mother had some looming power over him to obey her requests of formality. After all, he needed to tell her this news immediately.
Scooping his four Devas into his palms, he slid them just as quickly into his scarf. They protested with small, irritated squeaks and chitters, being taken so quickly. Gundham murmured a small apology to them, stuffing the letter into his cloak's pocket. Soon enough, he found himself running down the battered and worn sidewalks cracked by tree roots. Gundham and his mother had always enjoyed living surrounded by such beautiful nature, even if the worn, uneven sidewalks were enough to nearly make him eat asphalt if he wasn't careful. Gundham would never change it for the world. It was his own sanctuary, his own little world that shaped him.
Yes… But there may have been one thing he would have changed about his small world. A closer hospital would be nicer. He hardly cared how long it took to get there on foot, however, it was his mother's condition that worried him. What if they couldn't reach her in time, if she tried to go on her own, rather? Gundham tried not to think about what could happen.
No, she is a very strong woman. The Gods that preside over this feeble mortal world would not dare to so much as touch her.
Even reassuring himself in his thoughts, a looming doubt hung over his head like a dark, choking air.
Even so... She is still weak, still human. Medicines only do so much, only give so much time and yet-- No. She knew that everything would be fine . It is all going to be fine .
Fine. It was a plain word that seemed uncharacteristic of him. He knew it was a lie.
Was ‘ fine ’ when his mother faltered again? Was ‘ fine ’ when she had collapsed and nearly injured herself again? Was ‘ fine ’ when she couldn’t stop a simple cut from nearly bleeding her out?
The voice in his head grew louder, mocking him, tormenting his words, plaguing his very idea that things could ever be ‘ fine ’. His frustration grew with each step he took on the pavement that smoothed as he entered the nearby city. Gundham’s steps grew heavier and quicker, causing his cloak to flutter off its red color that hid just underneath the cloak. His Devas chirped in protest, skittering together in a small huddle, close to his body to keep from flying off.
Some small, childish part of his being wanted this letter to somehow fix everything. He had some empty hope that this letter would break the spell that bound his mother, to break her suffering, pain, and despair. He knew that very thought was ridiculous, but it drove him to reach his mother all the more quickly. He wanted this to end, for her sake. She had suffered enough abuse from this cruel, hard world. She was an angel trapped in hospital walls more so now than ever. She could never spread her wings in such a cramped room, with macabre, unearthly IV needles sunk into her own paling skin.
As a child, he wondered why he had never inherited such complications as his mother. His new hypothesis was that she had taken in all that he was supposed to have, and worsened herself twice over, to give him an ordinary life. Yes, she was truly a light, an angel. No, a guardian angel, his guardian angel.
Then, it hit him.
He blinked, now laying flat on his back on the pavement. His thoughts collected with him, and it took another few moments to realize he was so deep into his brooding, he had collided into the Hospital’s doors. The Hospital’s glass doors.
Gundham’s pale face started to heat up with a red tint as he stood up with a dull ache in his back. San-D was chirping in worry for her caretaker, which was quickly hushed by a gentle stroke to her soft forehead. He would not be as embarrassed if these mortals didn’t know him as well as they did. Despite his absolute hatred towards hospitals and everything relating to them, he found himself in several too many conversations with the younger, kind staff members. Gundham had an assumption that his mother had some strings behind it, so he played along as kindly as he could.
Stepping foot into the bright, white, clean-smelling hospital, a familiar mortal form was there, rushing to his side. Her name had slipped his mind, and he rattled through his already shaken brain for her name as she began to speak in great worry.
“Tanaka-san! Tanaka-san! Are you alright?!” The nursing assistant was reaching toward his face and caused Gundham to recoil back instantaneously.
“You! What in the several circles of hell are you reaching for?!” Gundham was bellowing without much realization to it. The strength and weight of his words began to sink through to him as he scanned the room. The whole room seemed to have their eyes on him. Absolute curses, he wanted to sneak into this place silently. Scanning the room over a second time while clearing his throat, and straightening his posture, raising his scarf to cover part of his face.
“What... Are you trying to do.. ” He paused. Shit, what was this mortal’s name? Taking a quick glance, he recounted the name on the small white plaque. “..Nagaso Haro.”
The girl still stared at Gundham with a slight dumbfounded expression on her face. A smile slowly curled onto her lips, before letting out a small laugh. He could feel his hair bristling.
“ Woman , you have some nerve..” he started to hiss through his teeth, eyes narrowing.
“My name is Nagase Oharu.” She cut him off, brandishing that grin that was always glued to her face. As if returning back to where he lay on the pavement only moments before, he could feel his face returning into a dull red hue. This was ridiculous. He was merely thankful that the rest of the staff had enough self-preservation to hold their tongues.
Resting a hand over his face, he drug it down slowly as he felt his face taper off in its coloring. Pulling his hand away, he saw a bright fluid that had smudged into his palm. His eyes widened, as he realized that the impact of smashing his face into the door caused his nose to bleed. That must have been why that nurse assistant girl got too close into his dark, poisonous, emanation. She would have been too foolish to understand the implications. Looking back up, he saw the smug grin across… Right, Nagase’s face. Don’t forget her name again.
“Oh, I thought you’d never notice. I didn’t want you to ruin that pretty scarf you always wear, you know.” Was Nagase… Teasing him? No, this was a different tone. A gentler one he felt was uncharacteristic of her. Gundham felt himself release a tense huff of breath, raising his shoulders.
“Silence.” That was the most he could muster out of his mouth without being considered any more ‘ rude ’ than he was. He didn’t want his mother mustering her little strength just to scold him. Well, even if she could never properly scold him, he didn’t want her to waste any ounce of energy she had. Gundham picked up a small hand wipe, cleaning off his bloodied palm and face before discarding it.
“Hey, you know Gundham--” Nagase began, being cut off with Gundham’s arm rising sharply.
“ Tanaka. Call me Tanaka. None of this first-name basis tomfoolery.” He scoffed.
“Okay. Tanaka-san.” Nagase sighed … Defeat? This was not like the Nagase he knew. The Nagase he grew to know was an argumentative, bold, and downright loud girl. Patience was hardly one of the virtues this tolerated mortal had.
Gundham allowed a confused expression to cross his features as he studied Nagase more closely. The Devas had begun to feel the shift in the air and began a low, anxious chitter within his scarf. Nagase seemed just as anxious, nervous, perhaps.
“What has happened here in this sanctuary? You are acting stranger than usual.” Gundham tried to keep his body from tensing in anxiety, nearly holding his breath waiting for a response.
Nagase looked visibly uncomfortable, her gaze now fixed away toward a white, pristine, yet bland hospital wall.
“There’s no easy way to put this, but… Your mother, Himari… She passed, Tanaka.”
Gundham could feel his blood run cold. Those were the words Gundham watched families hear a day or so before the room they visited cleared out. Even as a child, he learned the cold weight behind those words. The urgency of them, the hollow solemn feeling that the nurses had while speaking. It was the one recurring nightmare he had. Never ever he wanted to hear those words. He knew what that meant.
Gundham’s face had frozen into that of a scared child. The truly scared child he had always been.
‘ Why? Where is she? Has she already been sent to a mortuary? What are they doing to her? ’
He was lost in his own thought with those simple, secret, coded words. Through the haze of thoughts, he could still see Nagase. He could see her usually carefree face turning to concern, reaching toward him once more, with words that didn't register to his ears. Gundham still stepped away from her grasp, stumbling on his feet. He heard more voices from other nurses now, but none of them reached his ears. Everything felt like it was falling, slowly yet quickly, in a soft, sickening spin. He could feel himself shaking. He could feel himself covering his ears, although he didn't feel like he was the one moving his arms.
It shoved him back into reality, away from the falling, swirling feeling, although he was still left dizzy. Once more again today, his words failed him. Gundham struggled, opening and closing his mouth a few times like a fish out of water, before deciding on keeping it shut. He felt his hands uncover his ears, still trembling. Slowly, he regained words in his head and started to piece together a numb, yet coherent sentence.
“Where does her room reside?” Gundham was sure to speak slowly. His usual demeanor failed him, leaving his normally loud and boisterous voice quiet and vulnerable.
Quietly, Nagase and two other senior nurses led him to a solemn room at the end of the hallway. Half-heartedly, Gundham wove them away, unable to take his eyes off of that door. A quiet, white, pristine door with that sickeningly clean hospital smell. After staring at the door, he took a slow breath, mustering the small semblance of composure he had.
“Gundham?”
He could see his mother, sitting with him on a small grassy hill. Dusk was nearing, and mesmerizing colors had swirled among the sky, with small glittering stars beginning to gleam. He remembered peeling his gaze away from the sky to her, Himari, as she smiled down at him. It was infectious, and he felt a soft smile curling onto his own lips. He was glad that he had inherited most of his angelic half’s features. Her soft, mallen-streaked hair, and her pale skin. They shared the same blue eyes, yet he could see all the emotions she held within those two porcelain blue eyes. A soft giggle caused her hair to bounce, and she spoke once more.
“Gundham, dear… You’re trembling. It must be getting cold outside. Let’s grab you a coat from inside. Then… I’ll teach you all the constellations.”
That soft voice broke through everything. His uncertainty, his worry, his pain, his sadness. It left him… Empty. Recalling that quiet, feeble voice was enough for him to realize that she, his mother, really was gone. It seemed cruel, hopeless, despairing.
Gundham raised his quaking eyes, looking to his mother, laid in her hospital bed. The sun was setting, and he could see the golden-red light hit her hair in just the right way to make it shine. She was unmoving, quiet, silent and solemn to the world. Walking over to his mother’s bedside, he could hear his boots clacking against the too-clean floors.
“Gundham…”
Her soft voice had pulled him out from his own head as he had recalled it unwillingly. His body had failed him, just as hers had. He could feel those hot tears seeping down his cheeks. He was not one to cry. Why now…? He was sure this mortal, measly human form had cracked against his will, showing his true emotion of fear, anguish, and sadness.
He remembered feeling her soft arms wrapped around him in the gentle swaying of the night train. His expression was cold, which was fine by him, as his head was rested on Himari’s shoulder. She couldn’t -- wouldn’t see this half of him. The soft grip she held grew a bit tighter as a hiccup rippled through her body.
Gundham started to wake from his soft haze, and he could feel his soft, bruised cheek. He felt the weakness in his limbs and the overwhelming exhaustion from physical and emotional exertion. Gundham was quite content, despite the ache. He had done as he set out to do; he protected his mother from the demon . Now, they were on their way to live their own life, just the two of them. He was content. Losing the battle, yet winning the war. He truly understood the expression now.
“I’m sorry,” The quaking voice began. “I’m sorry, I should have protected you. I should have left him to protect you sooner. I--” Her voice continued to babble out sobbed apologies.
He moved his head to look to his distraught mother, giving a small smile, waving his small hands as he spoke.
“We’re okay. Now we can live in the forest like witches, and I’ll become a dark lord to make a spell to never make the demon come back! We’ll have an army of wolves, and make them eat him if he gets close again!”
Her expression lightened, that smile returning to her face, laughing. Wiping her face dry in a swift motion, she set him to sit more comfortably on her lap.
“Yes, of course. We’ll make many spells, and cast away all those evil-doers. I’ll make sure this never happens again.” Pressing Gundham into another hug, Himari pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, Gundham. I love you very much.”
He broke. Those childish emotions took the helm of his mind and body. More tears had fallen from his cheeks, flowing like an open faucet. He felt his face and ears grow hot, and he held his mother’s cold hand. Her skin was paler than it usually was, and it seemed even more delicate, somehow.
I love you too… I should have said it more often, just as you did. I hope you still felt my love for you.
Holding those empty words in his head, he held her hand in that room for what felt like hours, yet was most likely only a few minutes. A melding swirl of emotions clouded his mind. Anger mixed with sadness, sadness mixed with anguish, anguish mixed with despair…
….
Gundham knew days had passed, yet he could hardly recall the days. Here he was, sitting at the night’s vigil for his mother. Her funeral went as he had expected. Only her relatives attended, and none of that demon’s family was alerted to her passing. He was pleased in that fact.
Her relatives, his own earthly kin, he heard their sinful whispers. Blame pinned onto him for her passing. Being weak from bearing a child in her already sickly state. Then abandoning her child’s father, how mad was she? To their narrow world view, she was someone who broke the rules and harmony of society. To Gundham, she was an angel unabashedly throwing away such foolish societal rules. He expected them to spit venom toward him for her death, but it bothered him more than he expected.
His bi-colored eyes were staring into his drink, filtering and drowning out the meaningless talk of his pathetic kinsfolk. Perhaps it was the soft drunkenness dulling his senses. Perhaps it was the numbing of the passing of the one mortal he held dear. Perhaps it was the dull anger he felt as these demons spoke of how his mother’s passing was his fault. He knew his existence was an affair, a very taboo in its core. It was only logical they would call him a demon, a murderer, a killer . Perhaps he wouldn’t have minded if it was anyone but the one person he held dear. However, it was.
“That foolish girl-- She should have never given birth. Nonetheless to such a-”
The shattering sound of glass rang out through the small room. Gundham muttered an apology for disturbing what was supposed to be a peaceful night and hoped his mother would forgive him. Flexing the muscles in his hand, he could feel the wetness of alcohol and blood on his hands. He tilted his head up, his eyes in a dark muddle of fury.
“That’s quite enough.” He hissed, biting his tongue.
The entire room seemed to grow eyes just to stare at him, and his breath caught in his throat.
“She never deserved you. She deserved true care. You are no more than demons roaming this pathetic earthly realm. Where was her care when she ran from an abuser that caused physical harm? I’m nearly lamentful to your--” Gundham’s slightly slurred speech was cut off from one of the distorted voices of the demons.
“Hold your tongue. Have you no respect for your dead mother?”
Gundham felt something snap as a jolt ran through his body. He felt his eyes widen, brows furrowing, with his lips curling into a clenched frown. Taking the nearest glass, throwing it haphazardly toward the demon. He missed, and the clear glass exploded into a mist of glass shrapnel. Taking a few angry, huffed breaths, he held his still-bleeding hand, taking long strides toward the door.
Stumbling down the cracked and worn path, he watched as the scenery turned to a concave of nature. He felt the exhaustion of all these days weighing onto him. He stumbled into his congenial and welcoming home, clicking the door shut behind him. Gundham felt his body collapse, leaning his body to the door.
This time, he really felt alone.