Archive of Our Own

Sometimes, to Detective Chloe Jane Decker, all her partner seemed to do was get shot.

She was not angry at him of course. Nope. She was far too busy worrying and trying not to freak out to actually worry. However, when he was awake and not in danger of dying , she would be angry.

How could he have been so reckless?

Chloe tried to focus. She was a cop. Compartmentalization was a considerable part of her job description. She could do this. She had to do this.

She bundled up her caramel-colored jacket with shaky hands, pressing it to his stomach, ignoring the coppery tang of the blood in the air.

His blood, crimson and flowing, coating her hands, dripping everywhere.

Oh god... Oh god... Oh god...

She could imagine his voice, indigant, telling her that "Dad his nothing to do with this, Detective!"

She would respond with something like "Old habits die hard!"

She would look sheepish, wondering how she always successfully avoided the usage of the "G" word until something like this happened and threw her restraint right out the window.

Lucifer was not saying much now though.

He eyes were tightly screwed shut, almost as if he could successfully block off the spasms of pain like that. His ashen, grey face did nothing to improve the state of her frayed nerves or to comfort her (but this was Lucifer. He would be okay. He has to be okay, right?)

She recalled that one time LUX had been held under siege and Lucifer had also gotten shot, but... But it wasn't half as bad as it was now. Had the bullet hit something vital? Was...?

Chloe did not really understand how the whole vulnerability thing worked exactly (and neither did Lucifer), but was he becoming more human the longer he was around her or was this just an extra-bad shot or...?

In the small, filthy alleyway, a probable hotspot for crackheads and all sorts of shady people to frequent, Chloe Decker's world was being torn to shreds again. Somewhere, several meters away, their scumbag of the day was also bleeding out. (Not than anybody could really bring themselves to care)

Where was back up anyways?

Chloe fixed her eyes on her partner's quivering lips, on the gasps and moans he was making, and realized that he was trying to say something.

"Lucifer, babe," She managed to choke out, "D-Don't say anything, yeah? Just... Just hold on. Backup will be here real soon and... and you'll be fine. We'll, we'll be fine and we'll just..."

But the words would not come out.

"Lucifer, hey!" She almost yelled, "Eyes open! Don't you dare close your eyes!"

"A-anything for you, da...darling..." He rasped, smiling a bit, lips and teeth tinged a violent red.

"Lucifer..." She closed her eyes for a moment, pressing her bundled up jacket harder into his abdomen. She ignored the stab of pain that pierced through her being when moaned and whimpered.

"Sorry..." Chloe apologized, voice feeble and small, "I'm so sorry, Lucifer. But I have to do that... You know I have to do that..." She comforted, feeling somewhat lost and uncertain, a sharp contrast to the practical cop that she was in such situations.

"No worries, Detective." Lucifer smiled, trying to go for "charming" and failing miserably in favour of "dying" instead (but he wasn't dying. He couldn't be. Not after everything. This... This was just a regular Tuesday for them... Right? Right .)

"Not... my.... first rodeo, y'know?" He continued, consciously trying to keep his eyes open and focused on her. Always her. "I get shot every...every other week." He laughed, wincing at the pain.

Now, Chloe knew that he was trying to comfort her. In his very... Lucifer way. Somehow though, in her very... human ways, that statement did not sound comforting at all. On the contrary, it seemed to break something inside her.

Chloe had been shot at many times. A few of those bullets had even hit their target. She was a cop; it was in the job description. She was no stranger to bullet wounds.

But Lucifer... Oh, Lucifer.

He was the devil , otherwise known as her dorky, pain-in-the-ass, adorable boyfriend.

He had been immune to bullets, but not around her.

" It appears that you make me vulnerable too, Detective..."

"How is it that sometimes you don't get hurt and other times you do? What is the difference?"

"You are, Detective. I don't fully understand why, but I'm only vulnerable when I'm close to you."

But he never left. Not after she had cried upon hearing his explanation (again) sometime after they had gotten together and begged him to leave because of how horrible she felt. Not after every time he got shot, or stabbed, or burned, or... or...

And it was all her fault.

"Lucifer... I..." She did not know what to say. How could she possibly know what to say?

She knew that she had to talk though. Keep him awake and distracted, handle the comeback of these thoughts later.

Chloe, thank whoever, did not have to say much more.

She could abruptly feel strong hands on her shoulders, startling her, pulling her back.

Dan.

She protested for a moment, proclaiming something about how she could not leave Lucifer, before seeing the paramedics hurrying to kneel down beside her boyfriend.

Hesitantly, she removed her hands from his abdomen, smiling at him, watery and brittle.

" 'ective?" She could hear him say.

Chloe's heart twisted.

She stared at her hands in muted horror, coated in blood, his blood, and her detachment seemed to evaporate. She blinked, and suddenly, hot tendrils of salty tears cascaded down her cheeks. Had she...? Had she been crying?

Chloe hadn't noticed. Of course she hadn't. Not when Lucifer was like this... Not when he needed her... Not when he was going to die...

"Hey, hey, Chlo', look at me," Dan demanded, shaking her shoulders, gentle yet firm, "He's not going to die. He's... Lucifer's much tougher than this. He's survived much, much worse before."

She had spoken out loud?

Oh.

Then, the remainder of Dan's sentence registered in her fear-addled brain.

Chloe cried.

*cries in Deckerstar*

The ride to the hospital was straight out of a nightmare.

Chloe had, of course, ridden in the ambulance. No one wanted to find out what would happen if she suddenly left and the devil became invulnerable again.

Invulnerable. Invincible. Immortal.

As he was supposed to be.

But there in the ambulance, perfectly mortal, Lucifer's heart had stopped.

It had been for less than half a minute, but...

He had been rushed into surgery. The bullet had pierced something major apparently. Chloe had not kept up with all the medical jargon, summarizing that he was in bad shape.

It was all her fault of course. Again. Just how many times was he going to get hurt for her and because of her?

"And I'd do it again and again, don't you know that, Detective?"

She wondered how long it would be before she had to leave, to allow him to heal.

It was not that she wanted to leave. Far from it actually.

But... But... She had to. Right?

Chloe bit her lip, her thoughts a mad storm of chaos tearing apart at her mind.

Dan came back, offering her a cup of terrible hospital coffee, as per the standard, human tradition regarding what to do as you were eaten up by worry, waiting for your loved one who could be dying in surgery a few meters away from you as you waited.

Chloe accepted his offer, giving him a small smile and a nod, before she continued pacing. Dan plopped down on a chair, staring at the ground.

It was still a bit before noon, a fair while before either of them had to go pick up their daughter. The day had barely begun when that thug had shot her partner anyways. The bullet had been meant for her though... And...

"Chloe?" Dan whispered. He was beside her, his hand on her shoulder, understanding blossoming in his light blue eyes.

When had he gotten up?

How could he possibly understand?

Chloe realized that she was crying. Again.

"I... The bullet was meant for me, Dan." She managed to see as means of explaining her streaming tears, as if anyone needed an explanation, "I... If he doesn't... It wasn't supposed to be... His heart stopped and... I'd never seen him in such bad shape before and... and..."

She found herself sobbing.

Dan was pulling her into his arms, understanding that she did not need words just then. He rubbed her back, letting her sob against his chest.

They functioned better like this, Chloe realized for the millionth time. Her and Dan were amazing friends and work colleagues, much more useful to eachother than they had ever been as lovers or as husband and wife.

Him and Lucifer... They could not be more different.

She found all her thoughts circling back to her curly haired, precious devil.

He would probably be panicking if he were in Dan's place just about now. There weren't many things that the ex King of Hell hated more than seeing her cry. She knew as much. Lucifer would be completely lost, wrapping his arms around her, stuttering out words of comfort and heated demands to know who had dared to make Chloe Decker cry. He would bite his lip and stare at her with adorable confusion written in his features, mixed in with ferociousness and the nervousness that stemmed from being clueless about emotions and everything related to them.

She just wanted him back.

"He will be fine." Dan concluded, quiet with the hint of a grin in his voice. He had been getting along exceptionally well with Lucifer lately. Lucifer had even admitted that Doctor Linda was trying to get him to reveal himself to their friends, Dan included. The devil, of course, had not relented. Still too afraid.

Would he live to grow out of that fear?

Chloe cried.

*cries in Deckerstar*

Lucifer had pulled through.

Several hours later found Chloe staring at him, lying motionless and wrong , hooked up to several machines and monitors straight out from a movie cliché.

But this was not a movie. This was real life. Lucifer was... He really was...

She gulped.

Chloe's eyes went from his pale skin to his curly hair, long free of the product torture he subjected them to daily. Just like she liked. (but not in this way. Never in this way...)

"His heart stopped again mid-surgery." The surgeon had said, "But your husband is much better now, Detective."

Chloe hadn't corrected her. She'd just nodded and asked any questions that popped into mind, trying to gauge how dire the situation was.

She stared at the electrical burns marring his chest, at the bandages wrapped around his torso, at how frail he looked...

How could a man as tall and imposing as Lucifer Morningstar appear so small and vulnerable?

Chloe found herself asking that question far too much.

Chloe approached him slowly, feeling as if any step she took could shatter him into pieces.

This wasn't right.

Tentively, she reached out for his hand, lying motionless beside him. She intertwined their fingers together like she had countless times before, resisting a sob when she felt how cold it was. He had always burned hot. She brought her other hand to his, holding it between her hand in a futile attempt to warm it up somehow .

"I'm so sorry, Lucifer." She whispered, pursing her lips.

She was at lost regarding what she ought to do with herself. She was stronger than this, wasn't she? However, all Chloe seemed capable of doing was crying.

Dan had left to pick Trixie up from school. He would take her to his apartment afterwards, and he would probably have to tell her about Lucifer. Dan made a point of avoiding lying to their daughter these days. All good things.

She had been standing here, watching her boyfriend, for what felt like eons.

" 'tective?"

Chloe startled out of her thoughts, tightening her hands on her boyfriend's ice-cold one.

"Lucifer?" She nearly tripped, raising a hand to rest on his cheek. How was he...?

" 'tective…" He whined, "Something's on... on my... face. Don' like it. Take it off." He groused, his eyes opening to slits.

Chloe laughed through her tears, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead.

"Silly devil..." She smiled, batting his hand away from the mask, "Oxygen mask stays on."

"Detective..." He groaned, almost falling back into unconsciousness when he made a move to get up.

Chloe sighed.

"How are you awake?" She found herself asking.

"I'm the devil, love." Lucifer grumbled, trying to move again. Chloe went to place a hand on his chest, between the twin, angry red marks there. Lucifer's struggle against her meagre, human strength was feeble at best.

"Just... Just rest for now, babe? Yeah?" She said, brushing a few curls away from his forehead, ghosting her fingers over his temple, "I'll go and you'll be as good as new in no time."

"Detective!" Lucifer exclaimed, eyes flying open, "Don't leave!"

"Lucifer, you need to heal." She said dryly.

"But... but... Detective, Chloe... Don't go... Please..." He mumbled, his energy seemingly gone.

Chloe could have sworn that he somehow became more human, more vulnerable the more she was around. It wasn't just how he expressed his emotions to her, showing her sides of him that no other person, human or otherwise, could ever dream to know of. If Maze were here, she would tell her as much. The King of Hell did not end up bed-ridden, too weak to move, because of one bullet.

Granted, it has been less than an hour since he had gotten out of surgery and he... His heart had stopped. Twice. The medical staff were calling it a miracle. Chloe wondered what they would say if they came in and saw him awake. He had been almost delirious before his apparent surge of adrenaline when she announced her intentions of leaving, but still...

"I'll be fine in a few hours." Lucifer said, "Just stay for a little bit. Don't go, darling."

"Lucifer..." She sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Just sleep it off and I'll be back...tomorrow morning. You'll be good as new then and ready to discharge yourself against medical advice." Chloe smiled a bit at that, more for his sake than her own, wondering if she was really making a big deal out of nothing.

But getting shot was not nothing, now was it? Not even when he would heal. Not when his heart had stopped. Not when he almost bled out in her arms.

"I can discharge myself now." Lucifer amended, "We can go home."

"Lucifer, please..."

But the devil did not look convinced. He stared at her, his gaze seemingly growing sharper by the second. Chloe was fooled, at least until he tried to move and almost passed out from the agony, yelping.

"Lucifer!"

"Chloe, please..."

Now what kind of monster could say no to that ?

"Okay." She agreed, surrendering, wondering how the simple usage of her name could catch her off guard like this.

"Really?" Lucifer smiled, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah." She smiled back, shaking her head at his adorkableness. (which is an actual word, thank you very much)

Chloe sat down next to him instead of leaning by his side. It was a considerable feat, judging by the number of machines crowding his bed. Surely some of them were just for show...?

Lucifer moved a little bit, wincing, and pried his Oxygen mask off, letting it fall to his chest. He buried his face in her hip, finding the effort to twist his neck and shift his body slightly. Somehow, he did not seem eager enough to make the effort of laying his head on her lap. Chloe swallowed thickly, running her fingers through his hair, opting to ignore the discarded mask for now. She scratched at his scalp and stroked his neck and bare back. Shadows of his scars danced before her eyes, forcing her to remember the mangled flesh.

She had shot the man who had done this to them, an ex-con accused of murder and rape recently. Busy as she was with Lucifer, Chloe had not payed attention to what happened to him. She hoped he had died. She hoped that he had bled out there in that alleyway, meeting his demise amongst heaps of trash.

Chloe felt a little bad at her train of thought. Guilt gnawed at her gut. But then, Lucifer made an odd, strangled whine.

"Lucifer, I'm not hurting you, am I?" ( More than I have already. How can you even stand to be near me? )

"Of course not, Detective." He said, voice muffled by her jeans, "You need a new pair of jean, darling. These smell like blood... And a new shirt... And a new caramel jacket... You whole outfit's been ruined... What a shame, really..." Lucifer mumbled, a bit dazed.

She could not even manage a half-hearted chuckle at his lame attempt at humour. Chloe just continued softly caressing him until his breathing evened out and he fell into a deep sleep.

She sighed again, guilt clogging up her throat.

She had promised him that she would not leave; told him so at the very least. But how she stay when her presence was literally what had pained him and what was paining him right at this moment?

"Chloe?"

She looked up to see Amenadiel entering the room, giving her a small smile.

She smiled back in a similar fashion, brushing her fingers through Lucifer's hair one last time.

"Linda's at home with Charlie." The older angel explained, "I came as fast as I could. You can..."

Chloe nodded at him, slowly distangling herself from the slumbering devil. Lucifer groaned, but he remained asleep. Thankfully.

Amenadiel sat in the small plastic chair near the bed, his considerable form somehow making the room look smaller.

She took an extra moment, tucking the thin blanket up to his shoulders, smiling fondly when it only managed to cover up his tall, lean body up until mid-calf. She fluffed his pillow, adjusting it a bit, before moving his head to a more comfortable position. He groaned again and she shushed him softly, stroking his cheek. Chloe fussed with his Oxygen mask, placing it back on his face and adjusting it to a more tolerable position. Did angels even need this sort of thing? Probably not... But it made her feel a bit better, a bit more useful, a bit more reassured about his wellbeing...

She inspected her work, lips pressed into a thin, grim line, before nodding to herself.

She pressed a tender kiss to her boyfriend's temple and then another the deep furrow of his brow.

The Detective, as satisfied as she could get with Lucifer's condition, gave the Amenadiel another nod and a tiny smile before almost bolting through the door, her heart shattering all the while.

Amenadiel grinned to himself, despite the circumstances, happy for his brother and his lover.

Lucifer deserved some love. It was about the time that he got it.

*cries in Deckerstar*

Somehow, Chloe found herself at Linda's.

Charlie had just been to his nap a short while ago, leaving the two women alone to talk.

Her friend, wearing the same tired look she remembered sporting from when Trixie was a toddler, smiled at her as she handed her a mug of steaming tea.

Chloe could suddenly remember the last time she was here, drinking tea, and... and what she had almost done. She placed her mug on the table, her mouth suddenly dry.

"So... Amenadiel did not really tell me what happened." Linda started, taking a slow sip from her own mug.

"Lucifer got shot. Again." Chloe lamented, wrapping her arms around herself as she stared at the baby-proofed ceiling. She looked down again, fidgeting with a loose thread in her jeans. She had not even went to change or have a shower. Blood splattered corners of her outift. It was not too grotesque or anything... Hardly noticeable in reality, but still...

"Again?" Linda prompted, her 'therapist' tone loud and clear in her smooth, quiet voice. She did not comment on the state of her friend's clothes or make-up.

"He... He always gets hurt Linda and it's my fault." Chloe vented, her hands curling into fists, "And I knew all of this before, but it's getting increasingly bad... You know Lucifer... He's never heard of personal safety. I guess that didn't matter before, but the whole vulnerability thing... Why hasn't he left? How could he possibly stay around me knowing that every damn papercut he gets is simply preventable by keeping some distance between us?"

"That's because he loves you, Chloe." Linda avowed, adjusting her glasses, "You know that."

"And I love him!" Chloe exclaimed, "I love him, Linda. More than I've ever loved anyone before. More than he could ever begin to comprehend. More that I could ever comprehend. Shouldn't I leave? If all I do is hurt him, isn't it better if I just... left? For his own sake? Just explain all of this to him and... go."

"Chloe." Linda sighed, "What do you think would happen to Lucifer if you... left?"

"He would never get hurt again!" Chloe answered, surprised at how quickly the words exploded out of her mouth, at how shaky her own voice was, "Not by stupid human bullets, Linda. Not every other week, as he puts it. Not for me. Not... not like this ."

"Chloe, think." Linda pursed her lips, "What would happen to Lucifer if you left him? If you decided to stop seeing him? If you told him that you were going to leave him entirely?"

Oh.

Oh.

Doctor Linda could almost physically see the realization hitting her distraught tribemate.

"Oh, Lucifer..." Chloe sighed, "Why is he like this?" She chuckled, humourless, "He begged me to stay at the hospital before I got him to fall asleep, Linda. He looked horrified at the prospect of me going and I..."

"Still left anyway?"

"I had to!" Chloe interjected, "I don't want to, I swear. I... every minute spent away from him is torture, Linda. I can't imagine my life without him. It scares me sometimes; how he's become a part of every single aspect of my life. But I just worry that I do him more harm than good."

"Lucifer does get hurt a lot, doesn't he?" Linda shook her head, "Some of the things that happen around him... He really is a magnet for trouble. The fact that the vulnerability thing is making you have these... doubts, Chloe, is very understandable. You love him. Hence, you don't want him to get hurt. Right?"

Chloe nodded.

"But he loves you too." Linda continued, "Lucifer is a very... remarkable man. What he has been through... He can be childish, insensitive, annoying, frustratingly deaf to all and every emotional cue..." Linda smiled, feeling a bit accomplished when a soft smile graced Chloe's features and a small laugh left her lips.

"But," Linda continued, "he can also be sweet, loving, and caring. He does try. Very, very hard. All he wants is...?"

"To be loved?" Chloe pondered.

It was close enough, wasn't it?

"He could have easily lost these emotions, these needs. He could have easily been hardened beyond any of them in the millenia he spent in alone with nothing but demons and wailing souls for company, but he didn't. Don't you think that to him, you being there with him, the one woman that he has ever loved and the one woman who is teaching him what it means to be loved for the first time in his very, very long life, is worth every bullet wound?"

"The pain of me not being there would hurt more than any bullet wound." Chloe summarized, "That's what you mean then?"

Linda nodded, smiling.

"I... I know that leaving would hurt him, but I... Linda, I hate having this much power over him, and I've always had it. Long before we got together. I just... I didn't always see it... before, I mean. Now, I look at it every day, and I'm scared because he should... They really, for the lack of a better term, fucked him over emotionally for all of eternity, didn't they?"

Linda agreed, not needing much of a clarification to know who 'they' were.

"So... what are you going to do now?"

"I wouldn't go now, obviously." Chloe declared, biting her lip thoughtfully, "He needs to heal first. He almost died , Linda. But, I'll talk to him. Explain why I left. I'll... I'll go to the hospital first thing in the morning, more than enough time for him to heal, I guess... And we'll talk. We'll... We have a few days off I think. He has a lot of days off, I'm willing to bet. Dan was telling me about how everyone at the precinct was talking about him. Well, more than usual that is.We could spend a day or two together and..."

Linda smiled.

Mission accomplished.

*cries in Deckerstar*

Eventually, she made it back to her apartment. Somehow, the emptiness of the place did not seem to haunt her as much anymore.

Linda had really helped.

Chloe made a bee-line for the shower, finding that she could not stand the blood still stubbornly caked under her nails and crusted in her clothes any longer.

She stripped, getting into the shower and shutting the glass door behind her. Remembering the last time she-they- had been here, Chloe smiled again and blushed.

Cleaning up took a longer time than she thought. After all, there was a lot more blood than she had anticipated. Perhaps the darkness of the black, skinny jeans and the dark, brown shirt had managed to trick her? Oh well. Those jeans and that shirt were definitely going to be tossed out after this (Or burned. Probably burned.)

Some time later, she finally turned the cooling stream off, breathing in the steam encompassing the small stall. She took a moment or two to relax, to breathe.

Grabbing a towel, she hastily wrapped it around herself before heading off to the bedroom in search of something to put on. Eventually, she gave up the search through her own clothes, gravitating towards one of his dress shirts. It was thrown on the back of the armchair haphazrardly, undoubtedly in Lucifer's hurry to undress or possibly in his poor attempt to pick everything up off the floor the morning after. She smiled fondly at her neat-freak of a devil.

"I'm not a neat-freak, Detective!" Lucifer had said, several thousand times, turning his nose up and giving her what he probably thought was an intimidating, final look.

It was just adorable though. she thought.

"I am not adorable, Detective!" He would exclaim, almost outraged, "I have never, in my entire existance, been called adorable! For good reason too!"

She would smile and kiss him. Over and over and over again.

Chloe chuckled, wondering if she could possibly get him out of her mind.

She pulled the dress shirt on, instantly relaxing when his smell dwarfed her senses. It felt like coming home.

She found herself remembering that birthday a few years ago, spent with Linda and then Dan and then him . The first time that she had nicked a shirt of his for herself...

Her fingers flew up to her neck, where the bullet necklace had its permenant home.

She finished getting dressed, drying her hair, and tidying up the apartment a bit, her mind flooded with memories of him all the while. Of how he smiled; how he swaggered into any room with confidence that would practically drip from every atom of his being; how he shuffled his feet and toyed with his cufflinks, the picture of nervousness; how he carried the 'urchin' around occasionally, mumbling about how stupid and unbecoming that was, but doing it it anyways to see her smile and laugh; how he... how he was him in everything he did and said...

She'd really fallen for him, hadn't she?

She finally plopped down on the couch at around 7 p.m, not much left to do. She called her daughter, assuring her that she could visit Lucifer later and that he was okay.

"And the bad man will never hurt anyone again?" Trixie asked.

"Yeah, baby." Chloe's eyes darkened, "We got him."

He'd died. He'd bled out as she had hoped. Dan said so before reminding her that she and Lucifer would have to go give a statement. Yet, Chloe still could not find it in her to feel a smithereen of sympathy or guilt or... something . Anything. Not when she remembered Lucifer, nearly unconscious and bleeding out, being hauled off on a stretcher into an ambulance by frantic paramedics.

"So... Are you with him right now, mommy?" Trixie inquired, and Chloe could clearly imagine the grin mixing in with the unadulterated love and concern on her little monkey's face, "Is he all sleepy and mushy?"

"He'd have serious objections to you calling him sleepy and mushy, monkey." Chloe laughed, shaking her head.

"Yeah, he would." Trixie agreed, "He's silly like that." She declared, "So, are you with him, mommy? Lucifer doesn't really like to be alone."

"I..."

What could she possibly say?

"Is it because of the vulnerability thing?" Trixie asked when she was a silent a moment too long.

"You... How do you know about that?" She knew that her daughter was very observant, but seriously?

"It's a secret, mommy." Trixie announced.

Chloe chuckled, shaking her head again.

"Just go visit him later, okay?" Her daughter advised.

"Of course I will."

"And when can I visit him?"

"How about tomorrow after school?" Chloe suggested.

" Tommorw? " She could practically see her daughter scowl, "He'll be out of the hospital and at home tomorrow."

"Trixie..."

"Good night, mommy." Trixie sighed heavily, as if greatly burdened.

"Good night, monkey." Chloe smiled, "Love you."

"Love you too, mommy." Trixie yawned, "Bye."

Her daughter hung up and Chloe shook her head. That argument had ended way too easily.

She texted Dan, telling him to be extra careful about little monkeys sneaking out of bed and ordering Uber rides to go visit hurt devils.

Chloe managed to pass another hour, alternating between flicking through the tv restlessly and checking her phone almost obsessively, before caving in and calling to ask about him.

She turned the television off, reaching for her phone.

Did Lucifer even have his phone?

Oh, well.

The phone rang. Several times.

No answer.

Chloe swallowed down the urdge to drive to the hospital like a mad woman, firmly assuring herself that everything was okay because it had to be. It had to be, right?

She scrolled through he contacts, up, finally getting to Amenadiel's name.

She hit dial.

Amenadiel answered on the second ring.

"Chloe?"

"Yeah, hey, Amenadiel." She tried to not show her relief or her anxiety, "Is he... is Lucifer...?"

"He's alright." Amenadiel replied, "He's just being a bit moody."

Chloe snickered. That sounded like her boyfriend alright.

"Is he still asleep?"

"Oh, no." The angel said, "He's definetly awake."

Already? She wondered if anything would ever be clear in this regard.

"Can I talk to him?"

There was silence on the other end and some muffled voices. Was Lucifer trying to charm his way out of the hospital already? Was he getting dressed? Was he hurting himself in the process?

"Detective?" Lucifer asked quietly.

Something was wrong.

"Lucifer, hey!" She laughed, relief flooding her mind at hearing his voice, "You...you're awake."

"Yes, it would appear so." Lucifer said, sounding a bit lost, "I... Sorry, is there anything you need, Detective?"

What?

"Anything I need?" She echoed, dread pooling in her stomach, "Lucifer, what are you talking about?"

"Why are you calling?" He asked instead of answering her.

"Lucifer, what...?" She swallowed, "What do you mean?"

"Why are you calling, Detective?" Lucifer repeated, tone cold, "I... Is there something you need?"

"Something I need?" She echoed dumbly, unable to comprehend whatever this recent episode of Lucifer-ness was about, "Can't I call to check on my injured boyfriend?"

"So, I'm still your boyfriend?" Lucifer sounded... hopeful?

"Of course you are!" She affirmed, bewildered, "Lucifer, why wouldn't you be?"

"You left, Detective." He almost whispered, "I-I woke up and you weren't here and you said you'd stay before so..."

"So?"

"So, I figured you'd left for good!"

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

Lucifer.

Oh, Lucifer.

What had she done?

"Lucifer," she started carefully, "Lucifer, I'm going to need you to listen to me very, very carefully, okay?"

He hummed, uncertain, waiting. The guilt inside of Chloe's heart intensified. She screwed her eyes shut against the burning wetness of her own tears, wondering how many times was she going to cry before this stupid day was over and done with.

"Lucifer, I didn't leave you. Not in the way you'd imagine at least." She said, letting her tears fall for the man she loved, for his pain, for his constant, internal struggles, "I'd never do that, babe. Never. Not without a good reason, which, I highly doubt you'll ever provide. And it would never, I repeat, Lucifer, never be without talking to you first. At length and clearly and... Damn, Lucifer. Never, you hear me? Because I love you."

"Why did... Why did you leave then?" If she didn't know better, she'd say that he was crying too.

"For you to heal, you idiot." Chloe laughed, "I couldn't possibly stay knowing that me being there was the reason you were suffering. I... Lucifer, how could I do that to you? I already feel horrible about how-"

There was some yelling on the other end of the line and a muffled thud!

"Lucifer?"

She heard a sound, a displacement of the air and a fluttering of something...

Then, the same displacement of air was around her. In a second it was gone and Chloe could immediately identify it, because, well, how could she possibly not?

"Lucifer? Lucifer!"

She jumped off the couch and rushed to his side. Lucifer shuddered, groaning. His wings were already hidden from view, his shoulders shaking. Chloe hugged him close to her body, struggling with his heavier weight. Somehow, she managed to drag the both of them to her couch.

She set him down down as gently as she could manage, struggling with the contradictory emotions waging a war inside of her. What was she even supposed to with him? What could she even do with him?

"Lucifer," Chloe began, settling him back against the cushions as carefully as she could muster, noticing how the electrical burns that had marred his chest looked much lighter, almost gone, "I'm going to check your bandages, okay? See if you've torn any of your stitches..."

"Haven't torn anything, Detective." He gasped, breathless, " All healed, actually."

"Is that why you're pale, panting, and about to pass out?"

She managed to completely unwrap the multitude of bandages, gasping as she did.

The skin was reddish, and looking a bit shiny and bruised. Otherwise, he was almost fully healed. It had been what... Nine hours? Eight hours since she left?

"How?"

"Perks of being me, darling."

"That was..."

"Even quicker than usual?" Lucifer smiled, proud of himself.

"Yeah." She huffed, tracing her fingers over the thin yet intact skin. Even his temperature was returning to normal...

Lucifer stiffened, muscles shifting and tensing under her hand.

"Sorry!"

"Nothing to be sorry for, Detective." He managed to grind out, just barely, "Still just a bit... rattled on the insides, I s'pose."

"Lucifer, that's..." Chloe pinched her eyes shut, letting go of him and lowering herself to sit on the coffee table, facing him, "What are you doing here?"

"But... I thought you said you loved me, Detective." He frowned, brow furrowing and eminent panic distorting his features, "I... I thought you weren't cross with me anymore."

Chloe took a moment to look at him, really look at him.

He was shirtless, dressed only in a pair of black, silky boxers (had someone grabbed those for him? Chloe had been too afraid to go back to the hospital. She had also been about as horrified of the Penthouse as she had been of her own apartment; reluctant to step in either when he was absent from her side, lying in a hospital bed with wounds that would have taken anyone months or even years to heal from if they were lucky enough to survive...)

His face was an odd sort of battlefield; lined with tear tracks, pillow creases, and an assortment of a million raging emotions that would take literal eons to unpack.

He was staring at her as if she was the world's greatest mystery, body tense and relaxed all at once.

"Lucifer," she began, "I'm going to need you to listen to me. Again, in case the first time wasn't clear enough. Again, in case you need to hear this more than once. Again and again and again until I get it through your incredibly thick, devil skull. Okay?"

He stared at her, unalloyed terror on his face.

"Lucifer?"

He nodded jerkily, unable to produce any sort of noise.

Chloe brought her hands, unsteady as well, to his face. She stroked his cheeks, his artful stubble making a homey rasping sound against her fingers. His eyes bored into hers, his lips parted slightly, awaiting whatever she wanted to tell him.

"Lucifer," She said, for the millionth time, " I love you. You, Lucifer. All you are. Every single thing about you. Every last little detail. The good, the bad, the crispy..." She smiled tearfully and Lucifer chorteled, remembering the last time he had heard that particular phrase. Chloe leaned in, kissing him lightly. She pulled away, framing his face in her hands, "I... I'd never leave you like that. I'd never leave you unannounced, that is, again, if I ever leave you, which I probably never, ever will. Because I love you. You, Lucifer Morningstar, my partner, my best friend, my boyfriend, the love of my life, my silly, adorable devil. I love you and I'll keep telling you that over and over again, for as long as it would take to convince you."

Lucifer's lips wobbled. His face did a strange wiggle of sorts. For a moment, Chloe feared that she had broken him with her words. The moment persisted, and the worry became more real, more tangible.

But then he lurched at her, clinging to her with his arms, trembling in hers. Chloe held him close, fearing for his comfort, wondering how much strain the awkward position he was subjecting his body to really took on him. Lucifer didn't seem to notice, or he simply didn't care.

She held on to him for who knows how long, stroking his back and pressing kisses to anywhere she could reach; his hair, his neck, his shoulders, his arms... She knew that it would take a long time to get him to understand that he, Lucifer Morningstar, was loved. More than he could even begin to fathom. She would work on it though, for as long as her measle, human lifespan allowed.

A while later, she gently tugged him up, leading him away by the arm. She knew that he was in a very vulnerable position and she just needed to give him time. She just needed to allow him to cry, to teach him that it was okay to cry. Still, Chloe could no longer ignore the pained moans and the soft whimpers that blossomed from a place completely different from that of his emotional anguish.

"Detective," he hiccuped, "I'd never i-imagined myself saying it before, but truly now, I don't think I'm really up for fulfilling c-carnal desires at this moment." His voice was wobbly; his face red, wet and blotchy, and yet, he somehow managed to look genuinely apologetic and a bit confused.

She just shook her head fondly, another watery laugh departing her throat. Chloe pressed a kiss to his shoulder, shushing him with more gentleness than she could have possibly imagined.

With the care that one would use with a spooked, abused animal, she led him to the bedroom. No innuendos followed. Softly, she got him to lie down amongst the mounds of pillows (his own purchase, arguing about the number of pillows required to achieved true comfort with a ferocity that would have put most lawyers to shame)

She layed down next to him, snuggling into the mountain of silky, fluffy, pillows. She opened her arms, her eyes twinkling when he rushed into them like a child hurrying home to seek shelter from a mortifying storm.

They lay there together, his face buried in her shoulder, as she stroked his hair and caressed his body. She tried to convey her love in every little touch, in every whispered word of comfort, in every peck she bestowed upon his prone form...

"Chloe?" Lucifer ventured, voice raw, after quiet some time.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I... I thought you were going to leave because I keep screwing up."

"What?" She whispered, aghast.

Lucifer pulled away from her with great effort, gazing into her shoulder and chest with evident longing. He moved his wide, chocolate eyes to meet hers and took a deep breath.

"I... You're human, Detective." He bit his lip, (a habit he seemed to be picking up from her?), before taking another deep, shuddering breath, "In spite of these bouts of mortality I appear to experience in your more-than-pleasurable company, darling, I remain immortal. In fact, as you've come to know and believe, I'm the devil. That... That means that one day, a very finite amount of time in the future, you're going to die and you have one place to go. A place a devil can never, ever step a foot in. I... I don't know what I'm supposed to do when that day comes. I'm scared, Chloe, of being alone again. Of... of losing all these amazing things you've taught me; your casual touches, your kisses, making love instead of just having sex, your cuddling! Hell, I'd miss your foolish insistence on calling me 'adorable'... I'd miss ever single moment we'd ever shared and... What would remain for me? Would I storm the gates of heaven and wage a war, demanding to see you? Would I spend another eternity alone in hell or... or just stay here and... and... We should be enjoying every single moment we have, because this world my Father has created isn't fair. Not to me specifically. Never to me. Instead, I just keep ruining it..."

"Lucifer..."

Her arms were back around him in an instance, her lips finding his in a kiss that was urgent, yet tender and sweet.

"Lucifer... Never... Never think that, okay?" Chloe implored.

"But, Detective, how could I possibly not?" He huffed, "You... There are no words in any language in all of creation that could ever come close to helping you express how I feel about you. I have never felt this for anyone before. Actually, I've never felt this much in all of my existance. It terrifies me, Chloe. I don't want to lose you..."

"I don't want to lose you either." She wiped a few of his tears away, leaning in to kiss whatever wetness remained, "I... That's why I left at the hospital, Lucifer. Sometimes, I can't bare the thought of how almost every single time you get hurt, it's my fault. I hate seeing any harm come to you, and... You're always getting hurt around me. Worse and worse every time... Half the time, you get hurt protecting me."

Chloe still found it hard to believe how he came back every time, nevermind how his greatest fear was being away from her.

It's because he loves you.

"Detective, you can't possibly really think that." He groused, looking lost.

They reclined back against the pillows once more, silence taking over.

"Look at the two of us." Chloe finally said, laughing as she tugged gently at one of his curls, "We're just..."

"I like us, Detective." Lucifer admitted, sniffling, "I mean, we could be doing activities that far more pleasurable but... Oh well..."

Chloe snorted, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"So..." He whispered, caution highlighting his tone, "You're not mad at me anymore?"

"Lucifer, I was never mad at you in the first place." She sighed, reminding herself to be patient, "Just worried about you."

"Oh." He managed, "That's... That's really good, Detective. Does it mean that you won't leave again?"

"Lucifer..." How could she explain this clearly to him? "As I said before, and as I will say many, many times in the future, I am not going to leave you. But , I can't promise to stay next to you when you're hurt. I just... If all you need to heal is a bit of distance-"

"Detective!" The devil exclaimed, "You can't possibly... I don't understand your concern with these wounds and injuries, Detective." He declared, propping himself up on his elbows and backing away from her, deserting her embrace in favour of looking her in the eye, "I got hurt much, much worse in hell, in all my times stuck there." He said simply, carelessly, unaware of the knife that he was twisting in her chest, unaware of the nightmares that his words were bound to curse her with, "This is nothing. These bullet wounds and-"

"Your heart stopped twice!" She nearly screamed, "You nearly bled out on the pavement! You-"

"But I'm fine, Detective!" Lucifer countered, "Can't you see it? I've been through much worse countless times and-"

"And that doesn't make it better!" She almost sobbed, "Lucifer, that makes it worse!"

"How does that make it worse?" He asked, confused, "I... I don't understand..."

"Just because you can handle pain," Chloe declared, taking both of his hands in hers, "doesn't mean that you have to do so."

Lucifer just stared at her, silent and uncomprehending, as if she had been speaking in some alien tongue that even he, fluent in all tongues, could not possibly begin to decipher.

"I am human, Lucifer, just like you said." She wondered if a change of tactic was appropriate, "I may have fifty years left or I may have fifty minutes. But, " she continued, speaking over the agonized whimper that escaped his lips upon hearing 'fifty minutes' because she just had to make him understand this, "that's what being human is all about. None of us know when we are going to die, and that's part of what makes life worth living, you know? You and I... Lucifer you don't have to suffer and be in pain in some crazy attempt to not leave my side or waste time or whatever."

"But, Detective, I can handle it!" He persisted, stubborn as ever.

"And that shouldn't make a difference, babe." She soothed, running her fingers over his knuckles, loosening his tightly clenched fists, "I care about you. I love you. I... Lucifer, being away from you when you're hurt, is the last thing that I would ever want to do, but you need to understand that I have to do it. Just for a little while. Just until you get better."

"And you'll come back?" He asked one last time, "Once the horrible hours are over, you'll always come back?"

"Always, Lucifer."

"Really?"

"Really." She assured him, "Where could I possibly go? And more importantly, why would I possibly go? Especially when my adorable, amazing, devil of a boyfriend is right here."

Is this partially my fault? She wondered in the privacy of her own mind as she coaxed him back into her arms. She remembered her accursed 'vacation' to Europe. Her reaction... Had she unwillingly added to his trust issues? To his crippling fear of abandonment?

"I'm not adorable though." Lucifer added, voice muffled by her shoulder, "For the trillionth time, Detective."

"You are." She declared, emphasizing her words with a kiss to his hair, (his soft, curly, absolutely adorable hair.)

"How about we get you to sleep?" Chloe suggested a few minutes later, calmed down somewhat by his heat and weight against her, "Finish up some more healing?"

Lucifer agreed easily, humming.

"Do you want to wash your face?" She wondered, tracing a dried tear track with the tip of her fingernail.

Lucifer shrugged, not saying anything.

Was he processing or something?

She moved him away from her, ignoring his complainsts and whining. She mumbled a hurried apology, rushing to the en suite.

She found a small, clean, hand towel. A moment or so later, she returned with the wet towel, settling on the bed, by her boyfriend's hip. Slowly and rythmatically, she cleaned up his face. Chloe could not help but smile when he closed his eyes in bliss, a tiny grin gracing his lips as well.

She finished her task in record time, laughing when he yanked the towel from her hand.

"Lucifer!"

"Just lean in a bit closer, darling." He requested, "You've cried a lot too." He sighed, looking crestfallen at the statement.

He cleaned her face up with the other side of the small towel when she got close enough. Chloe watched him, trying to put an accurate name to the typhoon of emotions that he always set within her.

"All done." He announced, grinning and tossing the towel over the other side of the bed carelessly. "Sleep now, darling?"

She laughed, amused. Lucifer preened, pleased with himself.

"I love you, Detective. Chloe." His eyes sparkled.

"Love you too, Lucifer." She replied, pressing their lips together. It was short, yet long. Full of yearning and urgency, yet glowing with all the correct amounts of gentleness and pure, unadulterated love.

Typical Lucifer.

She lay down beside him. They shifted and wiggled, hunting for a comfortable position for both of them until they eventually found one with her head on his shoulder, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, their legs intertwined, and his arm wrapped securely around her. ("Doesn't hurt, Darling." He said, "I give you my word.")

She just needed to be close to him, to ensure that he was alive and well after all she had to see today...

Lucifer slipped an arm under her shirt (well, his shirt technically) and traced patterns on her lower back. She came to recognize them as Enochian symbols, ones that she would ask about later because today had been more than long enough for both of them. Chloe, in turn, stroked the side of his face and jaw, tracing her fingers over his clavicle occasionally before going back up.

The rhythmic serenity rapidly lulled her boyfriend into sleep. His breathing evened out, his features softened, and his body relaxed to a certain extent underneath hers.

Chloe watched him for a while, continuing her caresses.

Would I ever get tired of seeing him relaxed like this? Free and uninhibited? she mused.

He was here, safe and unharmed (relatively). He was definitely alive; warm and strong and very much so... Lucifer.

She smiled, happy at last. The Detective pressed a kiss to the corner of her devil's mouth. His lips twisted, and he let out a sound that vaguely sounded like her name. She settled back against him, covers forgotten in favour of his natural, hellish warmth.

Fifty years or fifty minutes, she thought, as long as I get to spend them with you...