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Yunho paces around the room again, hand clenching the phone next to his ear as he listens to his hyung cry yet again.
“It’s because I’m ugly, Yunho. That’s why he doesn’t love me anymore.” Yunho presses his fingers to his temples, sighing. His heart aches with each insult Hongjoong directs at himself, and all he wants to do is scoop him up into his arms and beat the shit out of the man causing his hyung so much pain. Seonghwa, Hongjoong had told him many months ago before they started dating.
Yunho knew it all off by heart. Hongjoong had burst into his apartment countless times, hammering his small fists into his chest as he settled on his lap, whining over how attractive the TA was.
“He’s just so hot, Yunho.”
“I get it, hyung.”
“No, no, you see- he does this glorious thing with his tongue-“ Yunho winces at the memory. Hongjoong had rambled on about Seonghwa for hours. And as time passed, his conversations with Yunho got shorter and were always about Seonghwa. To say Yunho was frustrated was an understatement. He had been crushing on the older for longer than humanely possible. But he had always been waiting, waiting for the perfect moment to confess when Seonghwa conveniently made his way into the frame Yunho had so delicately built brick-by-brick with nothing but tweezers and super glue.
One day, Hongjoong appeared at his house after disappearing for what felt like forever (but had really been two weeks. Which was still a lot considering he used to come over every day). He had pulled Yunho into a hug and nuzzled into the crook of his neck before jumping up and down happily.
“Seonghwa asked me out! Yunho, Yunho are you happy for me?” He painfully recalls as he pulled his lips into a tight smile. No, he wanted to say. I love you more than he ever could, Hongjoong-hyung, he wants to say. Instead, he ends up telling Hongjoong what he wants to hear.
“Yes, hyung. I’m happy for you.”
If he thought his heart couldn’t get any more crushed, what Hongjoong said next really did.
“Oh, and, uh, Yunho. Seonghwa doesn’t want me to come over anymore. Something about him being jealous. I tried to convince him that you’re just my best friend and that you’ve never liked me ‘like that’, but he wouldn’t listen.” Hongjoong had pouted.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“I’m sure he’ll realise he’s just mistaken. We’re like brothers, Yunho. Why would he ever think you were trying to come on to me?” Hongjoong lets a smile escape, holding Yunho’s pinky in his right hand- something he had done when they were younger and he needed Yunho’s reassurance. Reassure him does Yunho, through gritted teeth.
“No, hyung. I understand.” Yunho suppresses the scream by biting down on his tongue on the inside of his mouth. Hongjoong should be with him. Not this Seonghwa jerk that was already so controlling. He doesn’t bother correcting Hongjoong on the idea that he is, in fact, pining over Hongjoong, but his heart can’t take it. The friendzone had hurt, and now that he had been wrenched up by the roots of his (currently blue) hair and hauled over to the brotherzone, he was utterly wrecked. Before he could say any more or let the tears he was so desperately holding back fall, Hongjoong’s phone rings.
“Seonghwa? No, I’m not at home. Ah- I’m just getting some stuff from Yunho’s house. I left a mug here. Yes, I’ve told him. You’re downstairs?“ he looks up at Yunho, who gets his message and walks over to the kitchen cupboard. He only has five mugs. Two of his parents, one of his sibling, one his, and the other belonging to Hongjoong. They had bought them together, and they came in a set. Not only did they correspond in colour, but a change of design was caused when hot water was poured in. The change of temperature would cause the word ’SOUL’ to appear on Yunho’s, and ‘MATES’ on Hongjoong. He had giggled when the cashier teased them, calling them a perfect couple. Yunho had smiled. Hongjoong had corrected the cashier after bursting out in laughter, telling him it wasn’t anything romantic.
“Nothing homo between the two of us. Right Yunho?” Hongjoong asked through round-framed glasses. Yunho stayed silent before nodding at him. The cashier must have caught on to his disappointment because he shot Yunho a look of sympathy before placing the mugs in a bag.
“No, hyung. You’re beautiful. You should know that.”
“B-but Seonghwa doesn’t love me!”
“Seonghwa’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you,” he mumbles under his breath.
“I heard that, Yunho. He’s too good for me. I should have known this was going to happen.”
“Hongjoong-“
“I have to go now. I think he’s back. Thanks for being a friend, Yunho.”
The call ends. Yunho screams, pulling his hair in frustration before pushing everything on the table off. The framed photograph of him and Hongjoong they had taken at a theme park breaks and stares up at him. He screams again and breaks down slowly into a sob. Sinking to his knees, he picks up the shards of glass.
“Yunho, I told you not to pick it up!” Hongjoong’s eyes had been glassy as he nursed Yunho’s bleeding hand. His heart bled at the memory.
Seonghwa hadn’t been home and Yunho really wanted to visit. Much to his horror, Hongjoong’s eyes had been red as he pulled the taller male into an embrace, tears wetting his white shirt.
“Hyung, what happened?” Yunho had panicked, pulling him away despite not wanting to. His eyes frantically looked over the apartment. A broken picture frame had been on the ground, the exact same photo contained within the confines of the rectangle. Drops of red were over the floor, Yunho had realised, Hongjoong had probably cut his feet.
After bandaging his hyung’s small foot, he had bent down to pick up the larger pieces and had cut a finger in the process, fury clouding his normally careful behaviour. Hongjoong had sprinted over despite the seeping bandages and clasped Yunho’s hands in his, placing a band-aid over the cut.
“Seonghwa just texted me. He’s sorry, Yunho, please don’t get mad, I need you to leave. He’ll get so angry if he knows you came over. I’ll call you tomorrow at ten, Yunho, I promise.”
And Yunho should have stayed, should have beaten the shit out of Seonghwa, but he left as per his hyung’s wishes.
Yunho winces as his finger bleeds. Such a familiar scene, except Hongjoong wasn’t here with him. Hongjoong was with Seonghwa, who treated Hongjoong like dirt and didn’t deserve any of his attention. I’m right here, hyung. I’m the cure to your broken heart, he wants to say. But Hongjoong isn’t ready for that. He’s still head over heels for Seonghwa, and nothing Yunho could say could break that.
Instead, he shuffles to the sink and lets the cold water run through his fingers, praying to whatever God watched over them that someday, Hongjoong would forget Seonghwa, and Yunho could take away his hurt.