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Xiao Xingchen had a problem.
It was one he had been battling with ever since he left Baoshan Sanren and came down to the mortal world. Despite all his training, he really lacked the skills to maneuver among regular people since that wasn’t something Baoshan Sanren saw necessary to teach. Sometimes he saw things that puzzled him but at first he really didn’t have anyone to ask. The mortal world was full of all sorts of people, some good, some bad, most walking in between the two and just trying to get through everyday life. It intrigued Xiao Xingchen to watch the hustle and bustle of cities as each person filled their proper role in the world.
“What’s caught your attention?” A voice queried, drawing the young cultivator from his thoughts.
He graced a smile to his companion, nodding to a little boy currently pleading with his mother to buy him a snack.
“It must be very freeing, to be able to express so openly one’s desires,” Xiao Xingchen lamented.
The other man at the table raised an eyebrow and looked over to the little boy as well. Xiao Xingchen laughed softly to himself as the mother relented, causing the boy to jump up and down in joy at the prospect of getting something delicious to eat.
“Zichen, do you ever think about what you would have been like if you hadn’t been a cultivator? Do you ever wish for a...normal life?” The younger man asked, turning his gaze to his friend.
“No,” Song Lan replied without hesitation. He liked his life now, he couldn’t imagine walking another path, nor did he want to.
Xiao Xingchen’s gaze lowered as he seemed to withdraw into his own thoughts. Song Lan had grown used to reading Xingchen’s mannerism. He could tell that the other man had more to say but was keeping it to himself because he was afraid Song Lan didn’t want conversation.
“What is it?” The older man prompted, “What’s on your mind?”
Xiao Xingchen shook his head and smiled, “It’s nothing.”
A beat of silence passed before Song Lan reached out, he didn’t quite take Xiao Xingchen’s hand in his but gave him a slight nudge.
“If you admire those who openly express their desires, then you ought to attempt to do the same. What are you thinking about? Speak your mind,” Song Lan encouraged.
Xiao Xingchen looked slightly embarrassed as he kept his gaze on the cup of tea in front of him.
“I was just...thinking how my life would be different if I hadn’t trained under Baoshan Sanren. If I had lived here, with a family,” he murmured softly.
It was loud in the tea house and Song Lan had to lean in to hear what his companion said. He ran his gaze over Xiao Xingchen, taking in his poised elegance and mild demeanor. The older man really couldn’t imagine his friend as a normal human, running to the market every day, growing crops in the field, toiling with a plow, it seemed quite preposterous.
“Do you regret having chosen the path you did?” Song Lan asked.
Immediately Xiao Xingchen shook his head, “No. No, absolutely not. I’m happy that I can do my part to bring justice to the world and right the wrongs of evil. It would torment me if I couldn’t do anything seeing all the death and destruction.”
Song Lan nodded and took a sip of his tea.
“Then there is no need to ponder on the alternative. You’re living a life you chose, without regret, that is enough. That is more than what many can claim,” he replied.
The other man seemed to think this over then nodded, a smile lighting across his lips.
“You’re right, Zichen. It’s a futile effort to ponder on what cannot be. Besides, if I didn’t choose the path I did then I wouldn’t have met you and that would have certainly been a pity.”
The older cultivator felt his breath catch for a second at Xiao Xingchen’s words. Pity indeed. Song Lan would never regret any path that allowed fate to bring the other man into his life. His travels before their encounter seemed so lonely by comparison now.
Xiao Xingchen’s curiosity about the world had softened Song Lan and often made him see things from a different perspective. He had previously held on tightly to his indifference to everything around him, focusing solely on night hunts and ridding evil spirits, nothing else mattered. He had little time for life’s trivialities and he scoffed at the frivolous things others got involved in. Now, however, seeing Xiao Xingchen’s fascination with a newly discovered snack or expressing joy at seeing some chickens running around in a villager’s yard, Song Lan couldn’t help but feel fond. Perhaps the world wasn’t as cold and hard as he had thought, perhaps indulging in some of the frivolous from time to time wasn’t such a waste of time. After all, if not for the frivolous, then what joy was there in life?
“Excuse me, sir, may I inquire as to the name of this dish you’re eating?” Xiao Xingchen’s voice suddenly jolted Song Lan back from his thoughts.
He realized with a start that his companion was no longer sitting across from him at the table. The older man whipped his head around, trying to find his friend in the tea house and let out a soft sigh in relief when he spotted the other cultivator standing by a group of three men. They were in the middle of eating and it seemed Xiao Xingchen had wandered over, peering at the dishes on their table and gesturing to one.
Song Lan felt the sigh of exasperation rising in his throat and he stubbornly swallowed it down, forcing his features to remain neutral. It wasn’t odd for Xiao Xingchen to wander off whenever something caught his attention, and at this point Song Lan really should be ready for it, but the other man really did find the oddest things to get curious about.
The three men had paused in eating to stare at Xiao Xingchen who seemed oblivious to the attention he had attracted. He peered at the dish that had initially drawn him over as if he could decipher what it was if he stared hard enough.
“Uh...th-this is called Shizi Tou. It’s stewed meatballs with vegetables,” one of the men answered, glancing at his companions.
“Ah. It smells lovely. I have never before seen such large meatballs before,” Xiao Xingchen replied, smiling in delight that he got the name of the dish.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” Another man at the table asked, “Are you a traveler? Your robes are different from the local styles.”
Xiao Xingchen nodded in confirmation, “Yes, I’m traveling with my friend over there. His name’s Song Lan. We’re just passing by. Is this a local dish?”
“Yeah, it’s quite popular here. This one’s made with soy sauce, there’s bamboo shoots and chopped water chestnuts in here too. One of my kids’ favourite dishes,” the first man explained.
The third man who had yet to speak grabbed a clean bowl from the table and scooped out three meatballs along with some of the stew and vegetables. He offered it to Xiao Xingchen.
“Here, try it with your friend over there. The flavour is really great,” he said enthusiastically.
Xiao Xingchen went to take the bowl then seemed to catch himself, taking a small step back and bowing, “Oh, no, I couldn’t. That’s very kind but we’ll order our own, thank you so much for the offer.”
The man reached out and grabbed one of Xiao Xingchen’s hands, placing the bowl in his palm firmly, “Nonsense. Give it a try first to see if you like it. We insist.”
The young cultivator looked flustered but wrapped both hands around the bowl, bowing once more.
“Thank you so much, sirs. Your hospitality is very kind, I thank you on behalf of my friend and myself.”
The three men laughed and waved off his thanks, telling him it wasn’t necessary. Xiao Xingchen clutched the bowl like a treasure as he made his way back to Song Lan, his eyes bright and joyful.
“Zichen, look! The kind men over there gave these to us to try. It’s called, Shizi Tou. Doesn’t it smell lovely?”
Song Lan really had no words to describe the absurdity he had just witnessed. It just felt so surreal, that someone so ethereal like Xiao Xingchen could be so taken by a few meatballs. He watched wordlessly as his friend set down his prized dish, calling over the waiter to bring two bowls of rice to go with the Shizi Tou.
“Zichen? Do you not like meatballs? Is something wrong?” Xiao Xingchen asked as the waiter hurried off to bring them their rice.
Song Lan shook his head and sighed, “It’s...it’s fine. Just don’t go wandering off like that again, you had me worried.”
The younger cultivator looked a bit abashed and gave a small nod, “Oh, of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. It’s just the dish smelled so good, I couldn’t help myself.”
Song Lan re-filled both of their tea cups just so he would have something to do.
“It’s almost like Baoshan Sanren didn’t feed you during all those years of training,” he commented.
Xiao Xingchen laughed, “Well, we didn’t have a lot of food options on the mountain. Certainly nothing like here in the mortal world. It would have been a pity, really, to think I would have missed all of this if I hadn’t decided to leave.”
Song Lan really didn’t know much about what training with Baoshan Sanren was like, and Xiao Xingchen didn’t talk about it often. He wondered what the younger man’s Master would think if she saw him now, eagerly digging into a giant meatball as the waiter brought them their rice.
“Oh, goodness. This is delicious. Song Lan, you really must try it. Here, before it gets cold,” Xiao Xingchen said joyously as he scooped up one of the meatballs and set it into Song Lan’s rice bowl.
The older man took a small bite and had to admit, it did taste wonderful. Xiao Xingchen quickly finished his then looked troubled as there sat one remaining meatball in the bowl.
“We can split this last one,” he decided, moving to cut through the meatball with his chopstick.
Song Lan pushed the bowl over to Xiao Xingchen instead, “No, you have the last one. You’re clearly hungrier than me. We can always order more.”
Xiao Xingchen looked at his friend gratefully and Song Lan almost laughed at how happy the younger man appeared.
“A-are you sure? I don’t mind splitting…” Xingchen said, despite his expression clearly hoping Song Lan would decline.
The older man chuckled, “Just eat it, Xingchen. I’m fine.”
With a soft ‘thank you’, Xiao Xingchen ate the last meatball while Song Lan sipped his tea.
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Before leaving, they asked for another order of Shizi Tou to take with them for later. Xiao Xingchen was practically bouncing out of the tea house when they left, smiling to himself.
“Zichen,” the young man said as they made their way through the busy street, “Does it bother you?”
Song Lan looked over at his friend in confusion, “What do you mean? Does what bother me?”
Xiao Xingchen gestured to the package of Shizi Tou Song Lan was carrying, “That. I mean, not just that. But...my...my lack of knowledge about this world.”
The older man felt a bit wrong-footed as the question seemed to come from nowhere.
“What...Xingchen, where is this coming from?”
Xiao Xingchen worried his bottom lip before explaining further, “Before I met you, there was so much I didn’t know about this world but I just kept all my questions to myself. Who would I ask? But now that I have you here...I guess sometimes I feel like I’m taking advantage. And you’re so kind, Zichen, you never refuse me.”
Song Lan thought for a few minutes, “You grew up not knowing about the mortal world, it’s only reasonable that there is a lot here you wouldn’t know about. That’s hardly your fault.”
“But doesn’t it annoy you? My questions and...and...and ignorance?”
Song Lan stopped his steps and pulled Xiao Xingchen to the side of the road so they were out of the way of other pedestrians.He turned his friend so they were face-to-face, making sure that Xiao Xingchen was paying attention to his words.
“Xiao Xingchen, you’re not ignorant, and I could never be annoyed with you. You simply need some time to adjust and learn about this world, and I’m happy to teach you, show you. Don’t rush yourself so, even those of us who grew up here are often puzzled by what we see and experience.”
The younger man seemed to think this over then slowly nodded.
“I suppose you’re right, Zichen. But you must promise me that if I ever were to annoy you, you must tell me. I do not wish to ever take advantage of your kindness and friendship, Zichen.”
Song Lan nodded, even though he could not imagine ever finding his friend annoying.
“Yes, ok, I promise. Now perish those thoughts from your mind, Xingchen, we should get moving.”
The two men stepped back among the others as they walked towards the city’s exit, heading for their next destination.
--END--
Shizi Tou
