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“Finally! Good work Riko; I think we got a real ‘lit fire beat that all the thotties will twerk to!’”
Riko sighed as she set her composition on the floor, looking painfully at her blonde friend, “no one talks like that, Mari.”
“But lil ol’ Maru was saying something similar yesterday!”
“Yes, and she only found out what Gangam Style was two days ago.”
As Riko attempted to educate her bandmate on the specificities of trending pop culture, the door of Riko’s room was flung open, revealing an uncharacteristically flush Yoshiko.
“Ku ku ku… It seems that my misfortunes have resulted in not only the destruction of my purity, but of mortal objects… for… for the…”
“Translation, Yohane.”
“The toilet handle broke.”
Riko groaned as she got up and walked into the washroom. She knew that her friend meant no harm, and that it was an honest to god accident, but the predicament really could not have come at a worse time. It was 11PM, and not only was her mother asleep, but the landlord was as well. And to make matters worse, this subunit day had been a planned sleepover from the start. Oh well. It wasn’t the end of the world. She pulled out her phone and made a note to herself to get it fixed, and walked back to her room, only to be greeted by her two friends suspending ropes to her ceiling.
“What are you two doing?!?!”
“Getting Yohane’s bed ready, of course!”
“THIS IS A RENTED APARTMENT?”
Within seconds of Riko’s (extremely valid) outburst, Mari had pulled a comical amount of bills from what Riko assumed to be her bra, and placed them into Riko’s waistband. “Keep the change, darling~ ”
Pulling the wad of cash from her jeans, Riko had counted a number high enough to not only pay for any potential damages, but to also buy herself that new yuri anthology she had been keeping her eyes on, ‘White Lily’s Wall-tz’. She could let this one go for now.
As the chaos of her room winded down, the trio all changed into their nightwear, and, after a few more bills (enough for another book she was looking forward to, ‘Breaking the ‘Walls’ of her Heart'), Mari was crashed atop Riko’s bed, whilst Riko laid out a futon for her to sleep on.
Beside her, Riko watched as Yohane stuck her hands and head into her shark-shaped sleeping bag, testing to see if the tension of the ropes could hold her weight. After a few seconds with her feet off the floor, Yohane uncerimoniously jumped and shoved most of her torso in, making for an extremely strange sight. And, to make matters worse, the girl waved her legs around and let out a fake shriek, waking Mari up.
“Oh nooo, guys, help!” she exclaimed in fake fear, “Shark-kun is voring me!!!”
Riko groaned. Mari, on the other hand, was simply elated, giggling as she watched Yohane worm the rest of her body in, adjusting her position until her head popped out.
“Okay, are we all good?” Riko called out as she stood beside her light switch.
“ Yes!~”
“Mhmm.”
Turning the lights off, Riko made her way to her sleeping spot (which was clearly indicated by her phone’s bright screen, open to a digital copy of one of her current favourites, ‘Walls and Girls Weekly, Vol. 27). Nestling herself comfortably into her sheets, Riko took a few moments to relax her mind with a few pages of long haired girls being pushed into walls by her ‘short-haired-best-friend-turned-lover’. Ah, if only she could experience this. But even the enjoyment of impossible fantasies could be ruined, especially if your loser of a friend had anything to say about it.
Through the darkness. Riko watched as the bag above her wriggled unnaturally, its contents most likely attempting to adjust herself inside of the constrictive bag. That is, if the girl inside was anything but a normal human being.
“Nooooooo, Shark-kun~” Yohane exclaimed through the muffle of the fabric, “you’re going to digest me with your sticky stomach acid!!! Kyaaa~”
“Yohane, shut up!!!” Riko yelled from underneath.
“Or what? Huh?”
“I-- I’ll…”
“Hah, Riri doesn’t even have a good comeback; what a dweeb--”
At that moment she felt a blood vessel on her forehead burst. The vore jokes, the wriggling, the noises. She needed to pee. She needed to sleep. It was all so encompassingly infuriating, so annoyingly abrasive.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll piss in your fucking shark.”
Silence. Pure, unadulterated silence. Riko had finally attained what she had desired. Giving a great sigh, Riko turned over in her futon, ready for exhaustion to overtake her.
Sniff… sniff…
Ah well, Mari probably has a stuffy nose or something…
Uuuuuuuuuu…
The sound of muffled sobs erupted from above her has the bag shook yet again, this time in small, concentrated waves.
“ Sniff I-I’m sorry Riko I-I didn’t mean it-- sniff just… just please don’t wee wee into S-Shark-kun… sniff … please…”
Riko immediately heard a snort from the bed beside her, as Mari began to howl with unfettered laughter.
Riko turned over and shoved her face into her pillow, letting out an exasperated scream. I hate my stupid friends.