Work Text:
Languidly, Leia lay in the light that streamed through their bedroom window. She closed her eyes, focusing on this moment. It was almost too sweet to be real. Her fingers played gently with the dark curls of his head resting on her chest and he shifted sleepily.
"I love you," she said.
He murmured unintelligibly in response. Through her fledgling Force sense, it felt like "I know." She laughed quietly.
He was sitting at the table in the kitchen, kicking one leg idly against the chair while intent on the datapads in front of him. Looking at his dark head bent over his work, and the familiar narrow-eyed, focused expression on his face, Leia felt an ache in her chest. She'd been so busy lately. It was always important but she resolved to do more delegating and be more present when she was at home.
"Hey," she said, walking up and embracing him from behind. "I love you."
"I know," he said brightly. He turned his head and gave her a quick kiss before going back to what he'd been doing.
Impatiently, she waited for the com to connect. She should be there to see him off in person but it had been another all-night "emergency session." (The kind that made her want to show those simple Senate windbags what a real emergency was like.) Finally his face appeared over the vidplate. He was smiling but the smile faded as he took in her expression.
"Not gonna make it to the launch pad, huh?" he asked.
"Not this time," she sighed. "But I couldn't let you go without seeing you, even if only by holo. I hope you have a good trip. Don't," she added with a raised brow, "do anything you wouldn't want to tell me about."
He rolled his eyes.
"I love you."
With a perfunctory "I know," he was gone.
The shouting was done, replaced by fuming silence. She didn't feel like saying it but knew it had to be said.
"I love you." How she'd kick herself later for how grudging it sounded.
"I know," he muttered, just as grudging, then he stormed out the door.
"I'll see you when the Senate Session is over," she promised, her hand on the Millennium Falcon's ramp button.
"Yeah."
How could one word - only a sound, really, not even a whole word, if you thought about it - say so much and so little at the same time?
"I love you." A peace offering, her heart in her throat as she searched his eyes for understanding. For forgiveness? That, too.
His dark eyes were intense, searching her face just as hungrily, but there was no understanding, only sullen resentment and ill-concealed pain. "I know," he whispered.
They knew nothing but that there had been an attack on Luke's training temple. The Millennium Falcon red-lined the hyperdrive, racing against hope (and the vultures of the holonews).
They landed in a daze, staring in disbelief at the destruction. Buildings were rubble. The rubble was scorched and, in a few places, still smoking. Droids and emergency personnel moved about with care and purpose.
Off to the side, covered in med-tarps, was a line of bodies.
Luke limped heavily toward them. His shoulders were bowed and he moved slowly, all his customary confidence and energy leeched away. The dust and dirt in his hair had turned him prematurely grey. The brother who had always seemed younger than her, despite being her twin, now seemed decades older.
"Where's Ben?" Han blurted, frantic. But Leia didn't need to ask. The cold burning in her chest and the way Luke couldn't meet her eyes told her all she needed to know.
This was her son's work. And now he was gone.
Dimly she heard Luke's halting explanations, Han's disbelief and Chewie's anguished howls. She turned in place, searching the skies as if she could find where he was, out there in the endless dark.
Infant Ben, laying on her chest.
Toddler Ben, playing at the kitchen table.
Nine-year old Ben, going along on one of Han's trips.
Thirteen-year old Ben, and a fight she couldn't even remember now.
FIfteen-year old Ben, and the last time she'd left him here. At Luke's temple.
I love you, she projected desperately into the Force.
There was no response.