Chapter Text
Rachel is casually scrolling through Twitter, after posting a new cover, when she sees the account.
all the words I could never tell you.
Out of curiosity, she clicks onto the profile and the follower count surprises her 100k. It's just a poetry account, she notes with a frown, it's not a Broadway actress.
But after she reads it, it clicks.
all the words I could never tell you:
today I saw you entering my dreams but I couldn't let you in.
the mess I've created has been lingering on the walls.
and you deserve so much better that whatever I could give you, my love.
Something about the pain of this person resonates within her and that's what makes her follow the account.
At first, Rachel believes herself to be the only person aware of the account at her school and it feels like a secret to keep safe from others, but as she is having lunch, the reality of the popularity of the account becomes evident right in front of her.
"Have you read that gayass emo account all the words I could never tell you?" Santana inquires as she bites down on an apple and Rachel turns to look at her with a frown. "What? It's been popping up all over my TL lately." The latina comments with a shrug.
Feeling defensive, Rachel replies rather instantly to the comment. "I think it's inspiring how this person, whoever they may be, writes down their most loving thoughts to another person and shares them with the rest of the world."
And the girl's expression perks up visibly at her reply.
"Do you have a crush on our favorite nameless emo poet, Berry?" Santana asks with a glint in her eye, but it's not evil just teasing and the difference isn't in the tone or the face Santana makes, but the fact that the truce has been long settled between the two of them.
Has been for a while now.
"What if I do?" Rachel counters back and she is mostly joking, but there still that small part of herself, deep inside of her, one that is being tickled by the poems. "Jealous?" She teases as Santana frowns.
"As if." Santana replies with a disgusted face, before throwing a grape that misses her shoulder and bounces off somewhere.
But it's that Santana's attention has been diverted and Rachel follows the path of her eyes towards the distraction; Brittany and Quinn, who are walking towards them with different expressions on their faces.
The taller blonde smiles like she doesn't know what else to do, while her friend just maintains a merely there smile.
Finally, Brittany greets both of them and she quickly gets distracted as her girlfriend kisses.
“Hey, Quinn." Rachel greets timidly the third cheerleader and moves away to offer the blonde a place to sit.
While Quinn frowns slightly at her gesture, she still takes it.
“Hey," The head cheerleader says and her tray is mostly empty, a small salad on it, but she holds it tightly on her grasp, like someone could steal it away from her. “How are you?”
The words seem like it pains Quinn to say them and Rachel grins at the attempt of small talk.
“I'm fairly good, thanks for asking - how about you?” She replies instantly and Rachel knows as much as she tries to subdue her enthusiasm, just something about talking with Quinn makes her excited and eager to reply. “How has been your classes so far?”
Quinn hums, her frown losing edge. "It's been - okay, boring, if anything."
“You two suck at small talk."
Both of their head swivel to look at Santana, who coughs, before turning back to her girlfriend with a grin.
Quinn looks exasperated by her words and Rachel just shakes her head at the latina.
“Shut up, Santana." The head cheerleader tells her friend before Rachel can speak, her posture recoiling.
And Rachel frowns as she clears her throat with intent, but Quinn just huffs and nibbles on some more leafs from her so-called salad, looking away.
“We are trying something called an acquaintanceship and I would like it very much, Santana,” Rachel says matter of fact as she crosses her arms over her cardigan-clad chest and looks pointedly at the brunette cheerleader, who looks bored out of her mind. “If you would let us be civil to each other and find our own pace while we are at it."
But her words make the other habitant of the table perk up and Brittany becomes interested in the conversation as she stops playing with her fruit and moves closer to Quinn.
“I totally didn't know you were dating Rachel - when are you two having your first date?”
And the silence that follows the table endures all of three seconds just before Santana starts to laugh, but at least is quiet.
“We are not dating, Brittany.” Quinn corrects with a constipated face and Rachel should feel more insulted by her expression, but she feels just as confused.
While Santana keeps chuckling to herself, the shorter brunette clears her throat and quickly explains.
“Acquaintance means a person one slightly knows, but who is not a close friend," Rachel glances quickly to Quinn, who still has an unreadable expression on her face and just continues as Brittany stares at her with a puzzled expression. “Quinn and I are trying to be friends." she explains simply.
“Oh." Brittany finally says with a nod and her disappointment clear but then she just shrugs and goes back to her fruit. “You two still could make a hot couple, you know.” she comments.
Santana shakes her head, wiping a year away from her eye, kissing the cheek of her girlfriend as Quinn just huffs and continues eating her lunch in silence.
It may not be a win, but if this had happened a year ago, Rachel knows that the implication of them even talking to each other would have been rewarded with acts of cruelty and mock.
And Quinn keeping to herself and not talking right now seems actually like a development.
Still, she can't resist the temptation.
"Thank you, Santana."
The latina grins, sending her a wink. "You're welcome."
all the words I could never tell you:
our hands look like they could fit together
and your eyes looks like home
the warmness of your soul surrounds me
and never leaves me alone
Rachel finds herself reading older tweets of all the words I could never tell you as she waits for glee club to start.
Usually, she would be searching for songs to do at Regionals or just songs to have in hand for any occasion, but she can't stray her mind away from the poems.
It seems beyond her control.
"Ugh - not you too." Kurt groans at her side and Rachel looks up from her phone and then at him as he settles beside her and looks at her palm, where her phone shows the account. "Tina is also obsessed with that account," he grumbles as he adjusts his hat. "Never thought repression and hopelessness would cause such euphoria amongst this insipid school."
Rachel closes the app and drops the phone in her lap. "Well I do find it quite moving, interesting and inspiring - the intensity of this person and their desire certainly appeals to one's romantic expectations."
The boy just rolls his eyes at her words.
"Hopeless." Kurt replies with a shake of his head. "I'm surrounded by hopeless people."
"Please," Rachel scoffs and then crosses her arms over her chest, not letting his bluff call her off. "Don't even enter that zone, Kurt - you thought for a while that Finn was gay."
The gasp is almost murmured and Kurt sends her an ashamed pointed glare as she just stares at her.
"He's almost my brother now, Rachel, apologize right now!"
The rest of the club begins to enter the choir room and the conversation quickly ends after that.
"Hey, Quinn." Rachel greets the girl as she enters the room and this time, she gets a small smile her way.
It feels like a big win as Quinn even waves at her, before settling at the other side of the room, quickly followed by Santana and Brittany, both who wave at her, one more enthusiastic than the other.
"Alright - this must be an alternate universe I've entered." The boy beside her says and Rachel turns to him with a frown, offended by his reaction. "Why are they being nice to you?" He inquires in a whisper, but Rachel can't only frown deeper.
"Why wouldn't they?" She replies in the same whisper, trying to not disrupt the quietness of the choir room as everyone settles at their seats. Kurt scoffs and Rachel continues. "We are friends."
Before he can continue his onslaught, someone interrupts them.
"Hey, babe." Finn calls and both break apart as her boyfriend enters the room, Rachel smiling at him.
"Hey, Finn." Rachel greets him and let's him kiss her cheek as he moves to take the seat beside her, Kurt retreating back to his own seat.
"Gross."
"Santana." Rachel warns gently and the girl sighs so loudly that it resonates within the room.
"I have a truce with you," Santana replies instantly and her glare is directed towards her boyfriend, not her. "Not him."
Finn looks ready to respond but just in time - or late as always - Mr. Schue enters the room, closing the window for any altercation to happen as Rachel moves her attention to the assignment and Finn just closes his mouth, taking her hand.
She is aware of someone staring at her all through glee club, but Rachel doesn't entertain that thought for longer than necessary.
all the words I could never tell you:
those hands don't belong with yours
those lips don't deserve your skin
and as much as i want to tell you
I'm never going to tell you all these things
"Rachel?"
She looks up from her phone, quickly dropping it to her lap and there stands Quinn.
With her books in her arms, biting her lip with apparent contempt and the action is more than a little endearing.
"Can I sit here?" The blonde cheerleader asks gently and gentle was never a word she could have linked with her before now, but the way she speaks and smiles and tries with Rachel is now gentle.
"Of course." Rachel replies as she moves her bag away from the empty seat. She turns to Quinn and explains with her hands. "Normally, Tina sits here, but she has gotten the flu from Mike and yes - you can." she cuts her babbling short as her eyes catch the amused expression that her fellow classmate has on her face.
Quinn quirks her eyebrow at her as she sits and turns towards her, after passing her hands over the skirt of her cheerleading uniform.
"Normally, I wouldn't be glad for someone getting ill but I'm glad this chair is empty." Her tone is teasing, perhaps a little playful and Rachel giggles at the unexpected tone.
"Yes, me too." The diva replies and they share a smile that makes Rachel energetic and alive and an idea pops up on her mind and comes out of her mouth before she can censor it. "Hey - would you - you don't have to reply now - but would you like to do something, one of these days?"
Rachel turns to looks at her joined hands and tries to not leave her hopes up, but the offer is there and she gives enough space to not pester.
She has learned to not push.
More people start to fill the spots on the classroom and Rachel awaits, trying to not burn her hands with her gaze as the silence keeps its presence.
"I - I would like to." Quinn replies after a while and Rachel can't help, but grin as she looks up from her hands and towards the blonde, who is smiling softly if not a little nervous, back at her.
"Magnificent." Rachel replies with a wide smile as she nods with enthusiasm.
"Alright, kids - essay time." The teacher announces as he enters AP U.S History and everyone groans at his words.
Except the two girls who are too occupied smiling at each other to be troubled by it.
"We could talk about this later." Rachel offers as she opens her book and tries to not frown at the interruption.
Quinn seems indecisive for all of two seconds before she gives up. "I'll text you." she says with a nod as she looks away and to the front of the classroom, her expression changing to one of concentration.
And the teacher starts to speak about the assignment, but it's hard to concentrate for Rachel as she replays the words and squeals inside.
The text comes at 9 pm, Rachel is practicing her scales before bed and she skips to her vanity, grinning happily as she sees check the message.
Quinn Fabray: So.
She grins stupidly at the cellphone, before she texts back.
You: So.
And her practice is finished, so she takes her phone to her bed and sits against her pillows, nervously waiting for the next message.
Quinn Fabray: this is ridiculous
Rachel giggles, but decides to pull the girl out of misery as she types her proposal.
You: Would you like to come to my house on Friday to watch a movie and, perhaps, have some snacks?
This time she waits for longer than expected, but the wait gives her time to braid her hair and put herself inside her bed.
Even check her outfit for the next day.
When all is done, Rachel checks her phone and there is a reply.
Quinn Fabray: Friday? don't you have a date with your boyfriend?
The message doesn't reply to her question but Rachel takes what she can at the time, patience is key.
You: Not this Friday, Finn and Burt are going to a game in Cleveland.
Rachel types and then adds in a second message.
I'm all yours, Quinn.
She bites her lip as she waits for the reply and it seems to take forever before it comes, Rachel almost falls asleep before it comes.
But it finally does.
Quinn Fabray: Hour?
And this time, Rachel doesn't have to censor her enthusiasm as she giggles and dances a little in her bed, before quickly sending the information.
She bids her goodbyes, but one last scroll through Twitter calls her attention that night.
all the words I could never tell you:
smile at me like that again, i'll dare you
life won't be the same
because I'll take those lips with mine
and break havoc amongst this place.
It makes her smile.
Rachel blocks her phone, before leaving it on her night table and quickly laying back to go to sleep.
Friday comes sooner than Rachel expects and as she goes home after school, her pulse seems to be a race.
It's both exciting and completely overwhelming to think about their evening together and then to decide about one movie to watch - so she just ends up picking ten movies that aren't musicals for them to pick.
Snacks aren't a hard ordeal for her as she has enough taste to pick both healthy and not too sugary treats to eat, knowing how careful Quinn treats her diet after last year, it feels necessary.
And with that thought on mind, Rachel instantly discards Juno from their watch list as she picks the Blu-rays and leaves them on top of the coffee table.
Her eyes go to mirror next to the door. Her outfit is simple; black skirt, white t-shirt and comfy shoes - after all, they are going to be inside her house, Rachel doesn't even bother with stockings.
And, at 7 pm, the doorbell rings, her heart seeming to match the pace of the race as she almost skips to the door, before opening it.
"Hi." Quinn greets her.
She's wearing a simple yet tasteful peach colored dress, her hair is down on a braid and Rachel can't help, but grin widely at her.
"Again." The cheerleader adds, her eyes rolling and the tension breaks as a silly chuckle leaves her mouth
"Hi, again, Quinn." Rachel replies with a grin and she moves aside to let her in as she gestures to the living room. "Please come inside."
Quinn enters the house and steps timidly into the foyer, looking at the furniture with inquisitive eyes and a expression that looks more nervous than anything else.
"I already have a few ideas for the movie we could watch this evening and meanwhile the popcorn is being made on the microwave - I would like your input - "
"Rachel." Quinn interrupts her as she turns around from her place next to the stairs, right beside some family pictures and there's a glint on her eyes that makes Rachel feel a little erratic. "I'm fine with whatever you choose - as long as it doesn't have-" her eyes look down. "- babies."
Rachel nods, moving to the living room and picking one of the DVDs from the display.
"What's your opinion on Lindsey Lohan?" She offers and the little grin that she receives is a victory amongst a land of uncertainty as she lifts the box and Quinn moves away from the stairs.
"Sisters? Hallie, we're like twins." The blonde recites with a smile and Rachel just knows she picked right thing as her posture visibly relaxes. "I love it."
The microwave beeps and, apparently, they are set to go.
"Let me fetch the popcorn and our beverages for the evening." Rachel announces as she moves to the kitchen.
"I'll help you." Quinn calls after her her, dumping her bag on the couch and following her to the kitchen with quick steps. "Where are the glasses?" The blonde asks as Rachel walks directly to the microwave.
"Top shelf." Rachel directs with an appreciative nod as she takes the bag out, opening and then dumping the content of it inside a large bowl awaiting for the snack.
"Got it." Quinn exclaims as she takes the two glasses and the jug full of fresh lemonade next to the counter.
They smile at each other and then start their way back to the living room, leaving the items on the coffee table, next to the other snacks.
"Help yourself, while I prepare this experience." Rachel commands as she passes the bowl to Quinn, who quirks her eyebrow at her, but doesn't comment a thing.
She turns around, quickly walking to the TV and putting the disc on the system and as she turns around, Rachel can't help the giggle that escapes her mouth.
"What's so funny, Berry?" The cheerleader inquires but there's no malice behind her words and Rachel skips to the couch, sitting at a moderate distance to be friendly yet not close enough to suffocate.
"Oh, nothing." Rachel explains as she takes the remote and presses play on the screen menu "I just - never thought we could be here, like this." She explains to the blonde with her hands, who nods at her.
"Well, we had to start somewhere." Quinn replies as she turns to face the TV and something about her words resonate with Rachel for a while.
She gazes at her new friend for a few seconds, missing the first seconds of the movie, but promptly obligues herself to look at the screen.
So far, Rachel has done a well-done job, it's not time to screw it up just because she can't believe that Quinn is sitting with her.
But it doesn't mean that Rachel can just turn off her need to talk during movies.
"Okay, found my duffel, now the question is, how do I get it out?"
"You know Meredith Blake - she's too hot for Nick." She comments as they watch the scene with Meredith talking with Annie as Hallie.
"Hmm?" Quinn inquires as she sips her lemonade.
"He's handsome, I'll give him that, and looks like a decent father, but would you marry someone you don't love just for money?" Rachel questions as she turns to the blonde with a raised brow.
Quinn laughs as she leaves her glass at the table, raising a brow back at her.
"Under some circumstances, yeah."
She plays with the end of her braid and Rachel can't help but gaze at her hands as she does.
"Like under which circumstances?" Rachel inquires as she looks up and their gazes lock.
Quinn evidently swallows.
"Not everyone has a supporting family," Her words are a little strangled and Rachel swallows her own bubbling realization that this topic isn't as simple as the weather as her new friend scoffs. "If your options are limited - I just wouldn't blame someone for taking that road." Quinn explains and she shakes her head, moving her attention back to the movie.
"Would you?" Rachel asks before she can think better of it and maybe it's a mistake to ask but right now, she wants to know. "Would you marry someone without loving them?"
"I don't know," Quinn replies and her smile is awry, like she genuinely doesn't know the answer, her eyes still onto the screen. "Last year? Absolutely." She says and her laugh isn't carefree, it has a bitter end that carries too much weight for someone so young and Rachel wants to cry when she hears it. "But right now?" The blonde continues and she glances at Rachel with a rueful smile. "I just don't know."
Rachel accepts with a nod and prefers to stop asking, before they get into a topic that is way too heavy for Quinn.
The movie engulfs them back and Rachel tries to keep her comments to herself, but she likes this movie too much to keep the silence and Quinn doesn't seem bothered by it.
"I still can't believe that they sent them to the same camp." Quinn comments with a chuckle as they watch the scene with Nick falling into the pool and Rachel giggles. "What are the odds?"
"Maybe it's more than a mere coincidence." Rachel replies with a laugh of her own as the father sees both of her daughters and looks perplexed. "Fate - if you must." The brunette offers.
"You believe in fate, Rachel?"
It's not the teasing tone of her voice but the fact that she used her name what's makes her turn to the blonde with surprise, who's not looking back at her but at the screen.
"I do." Rachel nods and she turns just in time to not be caught looking with a stupid smile as Quinn faces her. "Do you?" She asks and moves her hand to put some popcorn on her mouth to distract herself.
But it seems like both have had the same idea as their hands meet in the middle of the bowl.
Rachel moves her gaze up and there's a glint of something in those hazel eyes that leaves her absolutely breathless.
"I could believe in it." Quinn replies and her gaze moves nervously up Rachel's face like she's searching for something and the moment is charged with something ineffable as both gaze at each other in the dimly lighted living room.
Rachel clears her throat and nervously, grabs some popcorn, putting it inside her mouth, turning back to the TV.
"I love this scene." She says after swallowing, as to distract her own heart for whatever was happening a second back there.
It's beating wildly and Rachel isn't sure why.
"Yeah - me too."
"I had a great time, Quinn."
They are standing outside of the house and Quinn has a shy smile on her face that's worth more than her house and the entire neighbourhood, Rachel believes.
"Me too." The blonde replies as she bites her bottom lip.
Rachel lets her process whatever is on her mind before speaking again, even when her body seems to just vibrate with the words she wants to say.
"Would it be alright - if we did this again?" Quinn finally inquires and there's that nervous tone that endears Rachel to no end.
"It would be more than alright, Quinn." Rachel replies and the way those eyes light up make her know it was a wise decision to say that and contain her excitement a little.
"Okay," Quinn replies as she holds the strap of her bag and looks back at her car. "Goodbye then, see you." The blonde waves and then walks towards her car.
Rachel watches her go and she can't help it as she cups her hands around her mouth.
"Let me know when you're home." She yells with a smile that can't help but burst with her emotion.
And this is everything she ever wanted, maybe even more.
Quinn nods once in her direction, before getting inside her car and driving away. The smile on her face as she drives away is a beacon of light for Rachel as she walks inside her empty house and grins.
Before bed, Rachel opens her Twitter and can't help but go instantly to her favorite poet's account.
all the words I could never tell you:
you said I'm yours
i see another hand holding yours.
my heart stops.
maybe right now, it's not the time
maybe someday, you'll be mine.
Rachel taps once the heart at the bottom of the tweet and turns to her night table to leave her phone there.
Her sleep comes like a breeze, slowly but then all at once.