Work Text:
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
Lainey’s fingers strummed idly at her guitar. She didn’t feel much like playing at the moment, but she’d already caught up on all of her grading, and she didn’t feel like going home to an empty house. Especially when her stupid boyfriend was still in town. She strummed harder, frustrated. At least she could count on music as a release. Lainey turned up the volume on her amp. Music was always there for her, unlike the people in her life.
She didn’t notice CB enter for quite some time.
“Shit!” She exclaimed, startled. “I didn’t think anyone was still here!”
“I had Model UN, and then I had to grade my Literature and Comp. papers,” CB explained.
He practically lived there.
“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” His voice was gentle.
CB was good at the whole dealing with emotions thing. Lainey, however, preferred to bottle hers.
“What makes you think something’s wrong?” Lainey deflected, as usual.
CB raised an eyebrow at her.
“Fine,” she sighed. He could see straight through her. Not that she was doing a particularly good job of hiding her emotions at the moment.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Over drinks?” she offered.
“Deal. I’ll drive”
Normally, Lainey might have protested, but after everything that had happened this week she wanted to get obscenely drunk, and if CB was going to enable that, who was she to tell him no?
Lainey refused to talk before having a drink. It was all too frustrating to deal with without alcohol.
It was relatively early, so the bar wasn’t too crowded. Lainey found them a couple of seats at the bar. The tables were too far away to order as much as she wanted to.
“I’ll have a Shirley Temple,” CB ordered. “And I’ll buy whatever she’s drinking,” he told the bartender, gesturing to Lainey.
“Oh, no, you’re drinking tonight,” Lainey commanded.
“Who’s going to drive us home?”
Lainey reconsidered.
“We’ll call a cab,” she decided. She sent him a pleading look before turning back to the bartender. “He’ll have... a tequila sunrise, and a double shot of Johnnie Walker for me... And I can cover my own tab!”
CB sipped on his fruity drink while Lainey slammed back her hard liquor. He didn’t know how she did it. Years of practice, he supposed.
“Now do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Barry and I have been fighting."
CB hated the part of himself that rejoiced at her words. Not trusting himself to comment, he waited for her to continue.
“It all started when Barry missed the recital on Wednesday...”
Barry had decided to work late and changed his flight. He neglected to tell Lainey. It broke her heart when she didn’t see him out in the crowd.
Barry did eventually make it to Philadelphia... at nearly one in the morning. He let himself into Lainey’s house using a spare key she’d entrusted him with and loudly announced his arrival.
“Laaaaaiiinnnneeeyyy, I’m home.”
It took her a moment to gather herself up, climb out of bed, and make her way to him. She was dressed in her Hello Kitty pajamas, her hair disheveled from sleep. She called out to him from halfway down the stair case.
“Barry, y'know I hate surprises.” Her sleep slurred words betrayed her annoyance. “What time’s it?”
“Nearly One A.M.” He chirped back at her.
“I have school tomorrow,” she whined. “The couch is made up. We’ll talk when I get home from work.”
She turned and stumbled back up the stairs before he could get in another word.
Barry was still asleep when Lainey got up for work in the morning. She found that he’d made her heart shaped pancakes and left them in the fridge. The note read, “For my Lainey love, xoxo Care-Bear”. She left them where they were.
“Why didn’t you eat my love pancakes?” Barry bore down on her when she came home. He could be just like his mother sometimes.
“Wasn’t hungry.” Lainey lied.
“You weren’t hungry for my love?” Barry laid on the guilt trip. It wasn’t working as he’d hoped.
“You sound just like Beverly. What are you going to say next? You've failed as a boyfriend?” It was a low blow and Lainey knew it.
“Hey!”
“I’m sorry, it’s just...” Lainey swallowed hard. “You really hurt my feelings when you missed the student piano recital.”
“I had to work, and there’s a spring recital every year,” Barry protested. “My job is very important. I’m a doctor.”
“That’s not the point, and you know it.” Lainey’s frustration was growing. “Those kids busted their asses and I was really proud of them. It was an important moment for me as a teacher. Every student’s success is a big moment to the teacher who helped them get there. Besides, my job is important, too, and I always make time for you.”
“You get to rock out all day. It’s not the same as doctor work,” Barry condescended, drawing the words out as if she were an idiot.
“You wouldn’t be a doctor without your teachers,” Lainey countered.
“You wouldn’t be alive without your doctor,” Barry retorted. It was an ill-matched response, but still one Lainey had a hard time arguing with.
“If you really can’t see how important my job is to me, then maybe we’re not right for each other after all!” She yelled, completely frustrated, and at a loss for anything else to say.
Lainey’s eyes stung with tears.
“Don’t even say that!” Barry roared back at her. “Ugh, I need to go nunchuck.”
He ran off flailing his arms behind him.
Lainey knew Barry would never hurt her. Hell, he couldn’t if he wanted to, but an angrily nunchucking boyfriend in her house made her uneasy all the same. And she was still upset with him for missing the recital, for shitting on everything that was important to her, for not talking things out with her like a rational adult...
“...so I told him that if he was going to act like this, he could stay with his mother, and he could come back when he was ready to communicate like an adult.”
“Damn.” CB let a beat pass. “Another round,” he called to the bartender. “This time two double Johnnie Walkers.”
It wasn’t lost on CB how much it hurt Lainey that Barry didn’t understand their profession. Teaching had become everything to Lainey. It had helped her as much as she’d helped her students, and she was in a much better place for it. What they did made a difference, CB understood that better than anyone. That’s why it was his favorite job in the whole world.
Still, CB couldn’t imagine putting any job before Lainey Lewis. He’d do anything for her. There was nothing he wanted more than to give her the dependability Barry was denying her. But that’s not what she wanted, at least, not romantically, so he did the next best thing: he let her vent.
“And I can’t believe he still uses those nunchucks!” Lainey laughed a little at Barry’s expense.
“I think it’s worse that he uses nunchuck as a verb,” CB added, his English teacher shining through. He was afraid he was crossing a line with the comment, but Lainey smiled at him.
The bartender sat their drinks in front of them. CB clinked his glass to Lainey and drank. He choked a little before finishing the shot, then shook himself a little at the taste and burning sensation. Lainey giggled at him.
“How do you knock ‘em back so easily?” He asked Lainey, his curiosity winning out.
“I started when I was fifteen,” she replied, confirming his earlier suspicions.
“Were you and Barry a thing back then?” The words flooded out of his mouth before he could stop them.
“I think...” Lainey drew her words out. “I don’t want to think about Barry any more tonight.”
That was something CB could easily get behind.
So, instead CB praised her on the successful recital. Of course, he’d been in attendance. He’d even shown up early to help set up. The conversation flowed easily from there. It always did between them.
As the night wore on Lainey found herself drinking considerably less than she’d originally planned. She still wasn’t anywhere close to sober, but she wasn’t ready to pass out or puke on anyone’s shoes just yet. She found CB could distract her from her problems as well, if not better, than alcohol. In spite of everything, she was having fun.
“Maybe it’s better that Barry an’ I are fighting. I doubt I’d’ve had this much fun with him tonight...” Lainey slurred. The words left her lips well before she could process them. She meant them, regardless.
CB’s hand reached out achingly close to her cheek. He longed to close the short distance and caress her face, to use his other hand to pull her to him, to lose himself in her kisses.
Who was he kidding? He couldn’t come onto his best friend who had a boyfriend, who trusted him to support her while she was vulnerable.
But it was a little after two in the morning, he was as drunk as he could get with out barfing his lungs out, and this was Lainey Lewis. She was his dream girl. She was sitting right in the bar stool next to him, tantalizingly close. He could even smell her perfume. Today it was vanilla and lavender, intoxicating in its own right. She looked as beautiful as ever. Her blonde locks were down, a little unkempt; she’d worn it half up at school that day. With her tight jeans and revealing tank top under a leather jacket, she looked like something out of a dream. Her gorgeous green eyes were fixed on him, their expression adoring, and she’d just told him it was worth having her heart shattered just to be there having fun with him.
To hell with it. He reached forward and caressed her cheek. Lainey leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed.
They remained like that for a moment. Lainey never wanted to hurt Barry. Even though he’d hurt her, a voice in her head nagged. It didn’t excuse anything. But this was CB. No one in the world made her feel so safe, so loved. And she was tired of fighting it, tired of pretending she didn’t love him back, and hopelessly desperate not to be alone right now.
She surged forward and kissed him. In that moment, it hit her that she and Barry were done. In that moment, with CB’s hand on her cheek and the other on the small of her back, their lips touching, she didn’t care. CB was all that mattered. She pulled him toward her, eager to have him as close as possible.
She didn’t care what the bar’s few last patrons thought, but the shame ebbed at her anyway.
“Let’s get out of here.” Lainey whispered into CB’s ear, punctuating the statement with a kiss on his neck.
They settled their tabs, and CB called them a cab.
Once they were in the cab, Lainey insisted that there would be one stop, and gave the cab driver her address.
She knew it was wrong, but Lainey couldn’t resist the urge to make out with CB in the cab. As soon as the directions were out of her mouth, she turned to CB who was already leaning toward her. Their lips met again. They couldn’t get enough of each other. They didn’t stop until the cab did.
After paying and exiting the cab, they kissed their way into the house, up the stairs, and into Lainey’s bedroom. Lainey got bolder once they reached her room. She moved her hands down CB’s back and grabbed his ass with both hands, pulling him closer. He let out a low moan. It was hot; CB was hot, Lainey thought to herself. She began pulling off his clothes. He let her.
CB couldn’t believe he was here. He couldn’t believe he was kissing Lainey Lewis. He couldn’t believe he was in her bedroom. He couldn’t believe that she wanted him.
Lainey froze.
“We- we can’t.” It broke her heart in a thousand ways. She wanted to be with CB. She wanted to show him that she loved him. She didn’t want to jerk his heart around. But the fact was, she was still with Barry. She couldn’t stand to hurt him anymore than she already had. And as much as they both fought it, they were impossibly tired.
CB couldn’t believe they did this. What they were doing was cheating. He couldn't believe he’d been so okay with it. He couldn’t believe he’d almost taken advantage of his vulnerable best friend. Maybe he already had.
“Right,” CB cleared his throat, and began to look for his pants, suddenly very embarrassed to be in his boxers. “I should go.”
Lainey caught his wrist.
“Wait,” Her voice was small. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. Could you...could you hold me?”
He’d do anything for her. He nodded and sat on the bed.
Lainey had already flung off her jacket, but she still needed to take off her bra and put on pajama pants. She glanced over at CB. He was looking away like a gentleman. She wouldn’t have minded if he looked.
Lainey pulled back the covers and cuddled into CB. He held her close. She’d never felt more at home. She knew that tomorrow she faced the insurmountable task of breaking Barry’s heart, but right now even that seemed less daunting.
CB relaxed with Lainey snug in his arms. He fell asleep easily for someone who should’ve had a guilty conscience.
Lainey kissed his cheek.
“I love you, CB,” she whispered when she was sure he couldn’t hear her.