Chapter Text
Ever since the X factor days Harry had always had a stutter. He tried his best to hide it from Louis and the rest of the boys but eventually Louis pulled him to one side and told Harry it was okay to tell him. Harry cried into Louis' arms that night, telling him he was so sorry and he understood if he wanted him to leave the band but Louis just reassured Harry that it was okay and his stutter didn't dictate who he was or how amazing of a singer he was. That was the first time Harry thought he was falling in love with Louis.
Three years later and Harry knows for sure he's in love with Louis Tomlinson and tells him so everyday. In four years their lives have changed drastically, they were now the biggest band on the planet, had three albums out and were currently on their third world tour. But one thing had always stayed the same and that was the way Harry felt about Louis. He'd never trusted someone as much as he trusted Louis, they told each other everything and anything, and Harry couldn't feel luckier to call him his boyfriend.
"Hazza?" Louis called out from the bathroom. "Could you bring me a towel babes, there's none in here."
"S-sure" Harry calls out and goes to the hotel wardrobe and pulls out a towel before going over to the bathroom where his boyfriend was.
"H-here you go" he says as he passes over the towel.
"Thanks baby" Louis says with a grin as he grabs the towel and begins drying himself off. Harry just stays there and admires Louis' body, unable to find the will power to leave.
"You just gonna stand there and look at me all day?" Louis teases, placing the towel down and walking over to his slightly taller boyfriend, placing his hands on Harry's hips. Initially when Harry had started to out grow Louis, they both had been worried about how every would work, considering Louis had always been the big spoon and topped but as it turns out nothing had changed and Harry would always be Louis' baby.
"U-Um no, I, uh, j-just wanted to g-give you your towel?" Harry questions not thinking he made any sense. And Louis had been with Harry long enough to know if he was stuttering from stress and nerves or lust. Unfortunately this wasn't from the latter.
"Haz are you feeling alright babes?" Louis questions back kindly, letting go of Harry and putting some pants on. Harry whines at the loss of contact and walks back over to Louis to get a hug and maybe a few kisses.
"M'fine." He mumbles as he places soft kisses to Louis' neck.
"Sweetheart you know you can tell me anything right?" Louis questions carefully, pulling back from Harry again, to which the boy whines again.
"I know! Come back I was busy!" He protests cutely, making grabby hands at Louis. Louis laughs and grabs Harry by the hand.
"Come on, we have this interview to do, no time for being busy Harry" Louis says, pulling a grumbling Harry behind him.
-
"Right boys, here's the protocol for the interview that Paul just gave me." Liam announces as he walks into the room the rest of the band were waiting in. Harry looks up from where he was sitting on Louis' lap with his head resting in the crook of Louis' neck. "We'll be sat two at the front, three at the back and Lou and Haz can't sit on the same row, sorry guys." Liam says sincerely. All the boys feel sorry for the two when it comes to things like this, but they all know there's nothing that can be done.
Harry just deflates and sinks back into Louis' hold as he tries to reassure himself it will be okay, and Louis presses a soft kiss to Harry's curls.
"So, the interview will last about 30 minutes, 20 minutes of pre planned questions, 5 minutes of questions from the fans in the audience and 5 minutes of singing. We'll be singing story of my life and you and I. Any questions?"
The boys save from Harry all shake their heads.
"Haz? Any questions mate?" Liam asks. Harry just shrinks back and shakes his head.
"Okay cool, we'll be going through in about ten minutes so make sure you're ready." Liam finishes.
"Okay thanks daddy direction" Niall says teasingly, knowing how much Liam hates the nickname.
"Shut it Horan, I'm going down to the cafeteria quickly, anyone want anything?" he asks. After taking all the boys' orders he leaves with a flip of the finger to Niall.
"Haz, you okay baby?" Louis whispers, leaning down so only Harry could hear him. Harry gently shakes his head, his curls bouncing slightly.
"You wanna go to the bathroom real quick?" He whispers again, to which Harry nods. Louis gently pushes Harry off his lap and quickly stands up, grabbing his hand and leading them out of the room and down the hall.
Once they get there Louis places Harry up on the surface by the sink and stands in-between his thighs. He pushes Harry's head up so they are looking into each others eyes, blue mixing with green.
"What's wrong love?" Louis asks softly.
"I-I don't w-want to d-d-do this a-anymore." Harry confesses.
"Do what sweetheart?" Louis says with a frown on his face. Harry shrugs and drops his gaze back to the floor.
"Hey, Haz my eyes are up here. And don't shrug your shoulders please, just tell me what wrong." Louis says resting his hands on Harry's thighs.
"S-sorry, I ju-just don't w-want to create create a problem." Harry stutters.
"Baby your not creating a problem, I promise. And you haven't stuttered this much since X factor days, what's going on?" Harry sighs and drops his shoulders.
"I-I wa-was looking on-online l-l-last night a-and-"
"Why the fuck aren't the two of you waiting with everyone else?"Jax, the boy's pa, shouts, slamming the door making it bounce back and hit the wall behind it.
Harry visibly flinches and quickly jumps off the counter he was sat on.
"Sorry mate, Harry wasn't feeling too great so we just came to get some fresh air. We'll get going now, c'mon Haz." Louis says calmly, trying his best to to keep everyone happy.
"Tomlinson you can't keep fucking making up excuses for you two because your fucking lazy and irresponsible!" Jax shouts again, making Harry flinch again and Louis curl his hands up in fists.
"It wasn't an excuse Jax, he really didn't feel well. And like I said we'll be going now because otherwise we will be late which seems to be the top of your priority." Louis says, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.
"Don't get smart with me Tomlinson, it won't work in your favour" he says darkly, walking out of the bathroom with the two band members following behind him. "Now remember, you two aren't going to be sitting next to each other, you won't have any unnecessary contact with each other and-"
"Try not to interact with each other, yeah we know you tell us every time. How dare we act like we're friends." Louis says sarcastically.
"It's not just friends you fags, it's about looking like your fucking gay, which you can't. It would bring down your reputation and ruin the band for the rest of the boys. Just act normal and straight for people and everyone will be happy." Jax demands.
"Everyone other than us" Harry whispers under his breath. Louis squeezes Harry's arm and continues walking towards the room with the rest of the boys.
The problem with Jax was that he was also the band's health and safety manager, which meant if there was ever someone who was mistreating them you went to him, so everytime he was homophobic towards the two boys, they had no-one to go to. And they had dealt with a lot of shit from him.
-
"So today we are here with the biggest boyband on the planet, it's one direction everybody" the interviewer announced to the room, followed by a loud cheer from the crowd. The boys walked on, Zayn first, followed by Harry and then Liam, with Niall and Louis following behind. They sat down in that formation, Niall and Louis Infront and the other three behind, meaning Louis couldn't keep an eye on Harry.
The interview carries on with the interviewer asking the boys questions of which Harry swears are nothing about their album or music. He doesn't really pay attention too much, just sticks to looking down and playing with his fingers untill he feels an arm sling round his shoulder and looks up to see Zayn smiling at him.
"Y'alright babes?" He asked quietly. Harry nods his head. "You?" He replies. Zayn laughs softly.
"Haz it wasn't a way of saying hello. Genuinely are you okay?" He nods his head again. "Why'd y-you keep asking?" He says slowly.
"You haven't answered any of the questions babes." He says kindly.
"Oh, um, s-sorry I didn't, uh realise. Sorry" he whispers, mentally cursing himself.
"Don't worry it's fine, just checking your okay" he says, smiling. Harry smiles back and turns towards the interviewer, trying his hardest to answer a question. Zayn keeps an arm slung loosely around his shoulder which helps Harry to stay calm.
"So, what was the inspiration behind your most recent album, Harry?" The interviewer asks, directing the question towards the youngest band member.
"Um, I-I think that, um, obviously as we've, uh, all gotten older, um, we have matured more, and uh, I think that, uh, it shows in our writing. And, um, we a-also try and write from, um, real life ex-ex-ex-"
"Experiences" Zayn adds helpfully.
"Yeah, because, uhm, it's what we can, uh connect the m-most with." Harry said slowly, trying his hardest to keep his stutter down. He smiles gratefully at Zayn as a thanks for helping him out, Zayn knows that sometimes Harry struggles with longer words when he's under pressure.
"And what would you say your favourite song is on the album midnight memories?"
"Uhm, either 18 or y-you and I."
"And why's that?"
"I just th-think that they a-are, uh, the most meanful, uh, mean-mean-"
"Meaningful" Zayn adds again.
"Yeah, songs and I feel, uh, as though, like, I connect the m-most with them." Harry finishes, slumping down in his chair as feels full of failure at not being able to speak properly.
"And what about the rest of you boys, what's your favourite song on the album."
Niall says Little black dress, Liam story of my life and Zayn agrees with Harry on you and I.
"Louis?"
"My favourite song personally is 18, because I think the lyrics are something that I really connect with and mean a lot to me, and how crazy in love you feel when your young and how when you find the right person you feel like that all the time, even at your lowest. I think when you find love like that you know you've found the person you want to be with forever and you can't see your life without them. That's something truly special." Louis says, with a smile on his face.
The crowd go wild at that and Harry tries his hardest to keep his smile at bay.
"So when you sing that particular song who are singing about, cause you seem to have a particular person in mind."
"I mean, the person who I'm thinking of knows who they are and that's all that's important for me. I think it's important to keep some things private " Louis says, laughing at the crowd when they start shouting.
"Right, well then, that's all the questions from the crowd answered, so now we're going to have two songs sung live for us in the studio, boys are you ready for this?" The man says, laughing as the crowd scream louder.
-
After the songs are sung the boys head back to the tour bus as they head off to their next destination.
Currently they were all sat in the games room, Liam and Zayn sharing one of the sofas, Harry and Louis on the other and Niall on the floor.
"Ya know, I'm gonna stage an intervention" Niall calls from the floor.
"Oh yeah, why's that Nialler?" Zayn asks, laughing as Niall glares up at him.
"First of all, don't call me that, and secondly, why's it always me that has to sit on the floor?"
" 'Cause your smaller than us." Louis mumbles, his voice muffled from his and Harry's cuddle session.
"Tommo, your shorter than me!" Niall protests, to which Louis shoots up and glares at Niall.
"One I said smaller not shorter, two, I'm still taller than you, and three, if you want two functioning legs tonight I highly suggest you watch your mouth-ow!" Louis shouts as Harry knees him lightly. "What was that for?!"
"Be nice and a-accept the fact your sh-shorter Lou" Harry teases quietly with a smile on his face, voice also muffled. Louis frowns down at the fact Harry is still stuttering. They didn't have anything else scheduled in today other than traveling so he didn't have a reason to be nervous or stressed.
"Niall take our sofa, me 'n Harry are going to head to the bunks for a bit." He says, pulling out of Harry's hold and standing up.
"We are?" Harry's says with confusion.
"Yes, c'mon babe." Louis replies, pulling on Harry's arm and dragging him out to the back.
Harry takes this sudden need to talk badly and starts panicking on what he could've done to upset Louis, so the second they reach the bunks he starts frantically talking.
"Lou, I was j-just play-play, fuck, playing before, I-I didn't m-mean to hurt you, s-sorry I-I-I-"
"Woah, baby calm down yeah? I'm not mad at you kicking me darling, I know you were just joking around." Louis says reassuringly.
"Oh." Harry says dumbly. "Uh, w-why do we need to t-talk then?"
"Okay, sweetheart don't take this the wrong way, but you've been stuttering quite a lot today babes, and you've been struggling with longer words more than normal, and in the interview you seemed quite distant and you said 'uhm' more than normal. What's up love?" He says carefully, rubbing Harry's arm a little.
"S-sorry, I didn't r-realise" Harry whispers, head hanging down.
"Baby don't apologize, you know that's not where I was going with this. Earlier in the bathroom you were going to say something, before that fucking dick Jax walked in. What was it?"
"Oh, i-uh, yes-yesterday, uh, I was, um, l-l-looking at-"
"Ah, there you two are. Styles we need to pull you in for a quick meeting, so we're going to stop the bus here quickly and steal Harry for a bit, our head office is just outside so we think this is the best time. Let's go." Maya, the other Pa on board says.
"Woah, what wait, when did this become a thing, me and Harry are a little busy right now." Louis says in confusion.
"Yes, Mr Tomlinson, I can see." Maya says with disgust, peering down at where his arm is resting in Harry's. "Now, as I was saying, Mr Styles we need to get to this meeting, I'll be waiting outside, don't take too long please." She says with an air of importance before swiftly moving out of the room.
"Fucking hell!" Louis shouts as he throws the nearest object at the wall, which just so happens to be Harry's boots.
"Heyyy! Their mine!" He whines cutely, grabbing Louis by his shoulders and turning him back around.
"Sorry baby, didn't mean it. I just really don't want you to go to this stupid meeting by yourself. It's so unnecessary." He explains, sitting down on the bed and resting his head in his hands.
"Lou, I c-can look after my-myself." Harry says.
"I know babes, of course you can. I just don't like the idea of them taking advantage of you cause they know you wont get angry at them."
"A-anger doesn't s-solve anything." Harry whispers, making Louis look up at him.
"I know sweetheart, c'mere." He says, patting his lap to invite Harry down.
Harry quickly straddles Louis' lap and leans down to hug him as Louis runs a hand comfortingly over Harry's back.
"Love you Lou." Harry says sincerely. Louis smiles in Harry's curls.
"I love you too darling, gimme a quick kiss?" Harry happily leans back and then leans towards Louis' lips and places a quick peck against them. Harry tries to lean back again but Louis quickly wraps a hand round the back of his neck and pulls him back in for more, causing Harry to laugh slightly.
"Mm, Lou, I gotta go" he moans, causing Louis to whine and release the boy.
"Alright fine, but we're coming back to this later!" He says defiantly.
"Mmhmm, sure, see you later." He calls as he walks out of the room, leaving a smile on Louis' face as he realises Harry didn't stutter.
-
"Okay, Styles, sit down please we have lots to discuss." Harry's manager says as Harry sits down with shaky hands.
"Right, first of all, this stuttering shit needs to stop. You're not 16 anymore and you're not a child anymore and honestly it's pathetic. The fans are starting to find you boring in interviews due to your slow speech and lack of interest and stutter. What do you have to say?"
"I-Its not a l-lack of in-interest I swear!" Harry's promises urgently. "And, And I c-cant help stut-stut-stuttering, I w-was born w-with it."
"Cut the shit talk Harry, we both know you're lying." Jax says unkindly from his seat.
"Sir, why w-would I l-lie?" Harry asks, his fingers shaking more than before now.
"W-w-why would l-little i-i-innocent h-hazza bear l-l-lie?" Jax says mockingly, slowly standing up as he does so. Suddenly he slams his hand down on the desk effectively causing Harry to flinch violently. "Because your a fucking attention seeking little prat that's why, fag!" He shouts. Tears begin to build up in Harry's eyes as memories from when he was little start to flash back to him.
He waits for someone else to shout at Jax for his language but nothing comes.
"Mr Styles, please save everyone the bore of your tears, they're unnecessary and childish" the manager says calmly. "Now secondly, we've been over this before so I can't believe that we have to do this again, but you and Mr Tomlinson are becoming too close with each other Infront of people and more speculations have been made about the two of you. Now, seeing as your boyfriend is too hot headed to see eye to eye with us, we have to leave this with you."
"I-I don't un-under-understand.." Harry's says with a frown.
Jax sighs loudly. "It isn't hard gay boy, stop being so reliant and clingy to your fucking boyfriend. If you act less into him he won't be as into you, you pretend to be fine he won't have a constant need to check if your okay, you act like you don't like him anymore and he'll be so angry he'll just ignore you. Are we clear?"
Harry's blood runs cold as realisation sets in. They want him to hurt Louis, they want him to pretend his doesn't like Louis anymore.
"Now, finally, we have a few pr stunts we want you to do, including a relationship with Miss Swift, I'm sure your familiar with her?" The manager asks patronisingly.
"Y-yes." Harry whispers back.
"Good, so we're all clear on how to move forward from here on out, I see no reason for this meeting anymore. Good day Mr Styles." The manager closes up, shaking hands with Harry before leaving, followed by Maya who does the same thing, leaving Harry alone in the room with Jax.
"Um, I'm j-just g-going to go back to the b-bus." Harry says nervously, a bad feeling in his his stomach.
Jax quickly walks over to Harry and harshly pushes him back down into his chair by his shoulders. He then curls one finger around Harry's curls.
"Mmm, so pretty and innocent and pure. Too bad your a fucking fag, isn't it?" Jax says creepily.
"J-J-Jax, please let me go, I-I won't say a-a-anything if you do." Harry says nervously, trying to get up again, to which Jax just shoves him back again.
"Ah-ah, little one, don't try and escape me. Your going to keep quiet and do as I say or I'll hurt Louis, okay?" He asks, though it's more of a statement.
Harry, who is paralysed with fear as he realises the potential of what could happen here, just nods his head, knowing he'd never forgive himself if Louis was hurt. Jax hooks a finger under Harry's chin and pushes his head up forcefully, causing Harry to whimper slightly and Jax to smirk.
"Good boy. You know, you're the 'all great Mr Harry Styles' to the public, but I know who you really are." Jax leans down to Harry's face as he towers over him, and whispers in his ear, " a slut." And with this that he starts sucking on Harry's neck harshly, grabbing Harry's hands holding them down to stop him from getting away. After a while Jax stops sucking and moves higher up Harry's neck and starts another one, ignoring Harry's pleas to stop. Finally, he crashes down onto Harry's lips and kisses him forcefully, biting hard on his lip which causes Harry to scream and allows Jax to shove his tongue into Harry's mouth.
And the kiss couldn't be more different to the ones he shares with Louis, the kisses with him are full of love and passion, whereas this kiss is full of anger, disgust and un-want.
"Jax, hurry it up in there we need Harry back on the bus asap!" A voice calls out through the door. Jax groans and pulls back, gripping Harry's chin forcefully.
"Listen here, slut, you don't tell anyone about this, are we clear? You don't tell any of modest, and you don't tell the lads and you don't tell Louis, okay? Cause if you do I will know and I will hurt him. We aren't finished here." He says aggressively before letting go and marching out of the room to talk to whoever was banging on the door.
Scared out of his mind, Harry fixed his collar as best as he can to try and hide the forming hickeys and wipes away the tears down his face which he doesn't remember getting there, and he walks out of the room and towards the bus as though nothing just happened.
But something did happen.
He just cheated on the only boy he's ever loved.
-
When Harry makes it back to the tour bus he's shaking all over and has made it his goal to try and avoid Louis for as long as possible.
He opens the door and tentatively walks in, greeted by Zayn, Liam and Niall playing some random game on the x-box.
No Louis in sight.
"Hazza, how was the meeting mate?" Zayn calls out, his eyes not leaving the screen as he tries to kill Niall.
Harry shrugs and sits down lightly on the end of the sofa, not trusting his voice at the moment.
"Wow really! How interesting H, never would have guessed!" Zayn teases at Harry's lack of response. However when Harry fails to give a come back Zayn pauses the game and turns to face Harry with a frown.
"Haz?" He asks gently, sensing something is wrong. As a tear quickly rolls down Harry's face, Liam promptly stands up and grabs Niall, saying something along the lines of getting some food. Both Harry and Zayn know it's a lie but they appreciate the effort to give them some space.
"W-wheres Lou?" Harry whispers, eyes glued to the floor.
"He's asleep in the bunks babe, you want me to go grab him real quick?" Zayn returns.
"No!" Harry protests quickly, grabbing Zayn's arm to make sure he doesn't leave. Louis can't find him like this. Louis can't know he cheated. If Harry can't hide it from Zayn he sure as hell can't hide it from Louis.
"Okay, Harry, I won't do anything you don't want, it's okay." Zayn says calmly, hands up in surrender to show he'll keep his promise. "Now can you tell me what happened to make you this upset Haz, I'm not going to judge you and I won't tell Louis if you don't want me to, okay?"
"O-okay." Harry replies. Ever since one direction had been formed Harry and Zayn had formed a very tight friendship, viewing each other as brothers. Harry had always trusted Zayn with everything and Zayn always felt the need to protect the younger member in a way, making sure no-one (including Louis) ever hurt him. Anytime Harry and Louis had an argument he would always go to Zayn first, feeling safer in doing so. "Y-your going t-to hate m-me." Harry confesses, more tears streaming down his face.
Zayn sighs and pulls Harry into his lap. "Haz, you could murder the entire world and I wouldn't hate you, what's happened?"
"I-I-I-I-" Harry stops and let's out a big sigh as Zayn strokes his hair lightly.
"Take your time babe." He murmers.
"I ch-ch-cheated." Harry shamefully admits. Zayn frowns in confusion as he tries to work out what Harry could possibly mean.
"On what Haz, on a game?" He asks. In any other circumstance Harry could almost find it funny.
"You mean o-on wh-whom." Harry corrects, earning a confused "what?" from Zayn.
"Y-you mean o-on whom. I ch-cheated on Louis." Harry whispers, head bowed in shame as he holds in a breath waiting for Zayn's response.
Zayn's hand which had been stroking Harry's hair stills and he tenses.
"I d-didn't w-w-want to Zayn, I swear!" Harry says urgently, trying to gain Zayn's attention again.
Zayn gently pushes Harry back a little so he's still on his lap but not cuddled up to him anymore.
"Harry, what the hell? You wouldn't have done it if you didn't want to, do you have any clue how much this is going to hurt him?!" Zayn says angrily, running a hand through his hair.
"I-I'm so sorry." Harry whispers, tugging harshly on his own curls in a feeble attempt to punish himself.
Zayn looks down at the shaking boy and sees how vulnerable and young he looks. This isn't Harry Styles, the media trained, multi millionare pop star from one direction. This is his best friend Harry who's scared beyond belief and Zayn knows something isn't right.
He sighs and pulls Harry back into his chest.
"Haz, what actually happened?"
Harry fists Zayn's jumper in his hands, burrows his head into his chest and rapidly shakes his head. "Can't tell you." He mumbles.
As he feels Harry start to fall asleep against him, he looks down and sees three angry, purple bruises in a line up Harry's neck. Zayn knows there not the daring ones from Louis that he sometimes gets as a fuck you to management, their too harsh and big. Dread fills Zayn as he realises Harry probably didn't want them.
"Zayn?" Harry pulls Zayn out of his thoughts sounding half asleep already.
"Hmm?"
"Y-you won't tell Lou right?"
Zayn hesitates. He had earlier told Harry he would tell Louis anything Harry didn't want, but now that Harry's safety is on the line he knows it's inevitable he'll tell Louis.
He lies anyways.
"No babe, go to sleep."
"Mm'kay" he happily responds as he falls into a deep slumber.
-
When Harry awakes he is curled up in a ball on the sofa with a blanket tucked over him and no Zayn in sight. Sleepily he rubs his eyes and stands up before padding into the kitchen where all the boys are stood.
All the boys.
Including Louis.
Shit.
"Hey Hazza, have a good sleep baby?" Louis says with a smile.
'stop being so reliant and clingy to your fucking boyfriend.'
Harry shrugs and walks over to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. Louis frowns at the lack of interaction from his boyfriend and walks over to him.
"Sweetheart are you feeling okay?" He tries.
'pretend to be fine he won't have a constant need to check if your okay'
"I'm f-f-fine Louis, stop pes-pestering me." Harry says, feeling so guilty as he says it. He tries to walk away but Louis grabs his arm to prevent him from going anywhere.
"Baby what's wrong, have I done something?"
Great. Now Louis thinks he's the reason behind all of this, perfect.
'you act less into him he won't be as into you,'
"Not ev-ev-every-ev-, fucking hell, ev-er-y-th-ing is a-about you Louis. I'm n-not a b-baby."
"I never said you were Harry! I asked if you slept well, for fucks sake, how does that make it all about it?" Louis asks angrily.
Harry remains silent as he stares at the floor.
"Huh? I don't hear an answer Harry!" Louis keeps shouting, his temper starting to come through.
"Harry, I really don't understand you, I make sure you're okay and happy and all you can do back is be an utter arse? Come back when you've changed your attitude!" He says shortly before spinning round and heading for the games room.
'you act like you don't like him anymore and he'll be so angry he'll just ignore you.'
At least he's doing one thing right, even if he feels like he's doing everything wrong.
-
That night at the concert, Louis doesn't interact with Harry once and doesn't check to see if he's okay. Harry messes up his big solo in what makes you beautiful and Zayn has to cover all his other ones.
It's a mess.
Singing used to be the only time Harry could communicate without stuttering and making a mess of everything but it seems he's lost that too now.
After what feels like an utter car crash to Harry, the concert finally finishes and the boys all head backstage to gather there things before heading back on the bus.
Harry shyly walks to Zayn and pats his back to get his attention. He turns around from his conversation with Liam and smiles when he sees the younger boy.
"Hi babe, what's up?"
"Um, c-could I-I-I talk t-t-to you?" He asks quietly, looking down and playing with his fingers.
Louis over hears and frowns slightly in concern but doesn't pry, still hurt from earlier.
"Yeah sure, I'm gonna go for a smoke real quick you wanna come?" He asks softly, to which Harry just nods and follows behind, his head still faced downwards.
They finally reach the little court yard round the back of the arena and Zayn pulls out a cigarette and quickly lights it, inhaling the smoke and allowing the nicotine to absorb into his blood stream.
"What's up?"
"U-Um, I-I, uh, um, I-I-I-"
"Haz take a breath yeah? Take your time babe, you can do this, you want a drag?" Zayn asks, holding the cigarette towards Harry.
"L-Lou would-wouldn't want m-m-me too." Harry whispers, shaking his head.
"Louis' not here Harry, and he can't control you. C'mon one drag isn't gonna kill you, take it if you want too" Zayn offers.
Harry considers it. It's true Louis doesn't want Harry smoking knowing it's bad for his health and addictive, despite his smoking himself. But Zayn's right, one quick smoke won't kill him and he could do with the calming effect to be honest.
"O-okay, just one." He says as Zayn holds the cigarette to Harry's lips, telling him when to inhale and exhale.
"How's it feel?" Zayn asks with a smile.
"Disgusting, h-how do you d-do it ev-everyday?" Harry asks with a cough, his shyness slowly disappearing.
Zayn smirks and puts the cigarette back to his own lips. "Skill, Hazza, skill. Anyways, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Oh, um, a-ac-actually there's, um, a f-few things. First I w-wanted to uh, apola-apolagize um, ab-about earlier. And, I uh, Zayn I'm scared to be around Louis" Harry admitted, taking the cigarette back from Zayn and smoking again.
"Harry I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to he totally honest with me." Harry nods in response. "How did you get those Hickeys on your neck?"
Harry's eyes shoot up in panic and a hand fly's to his neck where he knows there are bruises.
"Wh-what? Th-there aren't a-a-any-"
"Harry!" Zayn's snaps, cutting him off. "I said be honest, and don't try telling me they're from Louis."
"Y-y-you have to pr-promise th-th-that Louis, th-that you w-w-wont tell Louis" Harry stutters, his eyes wide and innocent as he stares up at Zayn.
"Hazza, why are you suddenly so insistent on keeping things from Lou, he's your boyfriend you know you can trust him." Zayn says honestly, flicking the end of his cigarette on the floor and stumping it out.
Harry quickly realises that by telling Zayn what happened with Jax will put Louis at risk and if Zayn tells Louis then something really really bad could happen and Louis will get hurt.
"Fine, j-j-just forget I ev-ever s-s-said any-any-anything. L-leave it." Harry rushes out before quickly walking away and back to the room with everyone else, ignoring the calls from Zayn.
"Okay boys so there's been an issue with the bus so we need to all travel in cars to the next location, obviously you won't all fit in one car so four of you will travel in one with Paul as your driver and one will travel with me Jax, Lou and the two security members, any issues?" Maya announces to the room.
"Yeah I have an issue, how the hell are we all supposed to sleep if we are all crammed into a car?" Louis angrily questions, throwing his hands in the air.
"Mr Tomlinson I'm aware it isn't ideal as we have all had a long day and would like to sleep, your welcome to sleep in the car but unfortunately we have no other alternative, and as we are already behind schedule as some of us find it necessary to keep disappearing for no reason.." Maya trails off staring at Harry who goes bright red and stares down at the floor, hating himself for having created more issues. "We would like to quickly get on the road so let's go. Mr Styles you will be traveling with myself and the rest of the team, let's go."
Harry's eyes quickly look over to Louis in panic, not wanting to share a car with Jax or Maya.
"What? Wait why is Harry riding with you, that's not fair." Louis protests, wanting Harry to be safe despite his hurt from earlier.
"Yeah, I don't mind traveling with you guys instead." Niall offers, knowing how uncomfortable Harry will be otherwise.
"Enough! The fags riding with us, quit arguing." Jax firmly states, grabbing Harry by his wrist harshly and dragging him towards the car.
Harry stumbles along, trying to walk as quickly as possible to avoid aggravating Jax further despite the fear he feels inside. He looks over his shoulder to see Louis running to catch up with them.
As they reach the exit of the building Louis places a hand on Jax's arm to prevent him from walking any further.
"Wait! Can I just talk to him real quick?" Louis pleads, a hand on his chest as he tries to regain his breath.
"The fuck for? Styles you wanna talk to him?" Jax asks threateningly, glaring at Harry as if he was dating him to say yes.
Harry looks down and shrugs his shoulders. "Not par-particularly." He mumbles.
"Haz, I know this isn't you talking, and as his fucking boyfriend I think I have the right to talk to him it won't take a minute." Louis spits out to Jax, softly pulling Harry around the corner to give them privacy.
"Haz, I'm not going to pretend like I'm fine with the way you've been treating me today, but I still wanted to make sure your alright. Are you?" He asks with concern.
"M'fine-"
"No your not! You haven't been fine since you came back from the meeting earlier!" Louis shouts. He quickly spins round to see if anyone heard him and lowers his voice. "Harry you're hiding something from me, please just tell me what's wrong."
Harry shuts his eyes as he tries to hold in his tears and shakes his head.
"I'm so sorry." He whispers honestly, unable to keep lying any longer.
Louis sighs and pulls Harry into his embrace as he holds him tightly, feeling rather than hearing him cry.