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“Lee Taeyong,” Yuta beckons, “Come here.”
“What?” Taeyong asks, feet already taking him there.
Yuta’s gaze flits to the side as if there is someone else in their house with them who will hear the secret he’s about to tell him. He looks like he’s about to reveal a secret. Taeyong furrows his brows. “Hm?” He makes this sound, halfway between confused and prompting.
“Tell you something,” Yuta whispers, under his breath. He looks nervous. Taeyong doesn’t know if that is good or not.
“Yeah. Shoot.” Taeyong nods slightly, slowly.
“Um…” Yuta stalls, eyeing him then looking to the side again.
“What is it?” Taeyong asks him. a little worried now. “You good?”
“Show you something,” Yuta decides finally. He grabs the hem of his shirt, and Taeyong sucks in a breath.
What?
He keeps calm even though he wants to panic at Yuta’s indecisiveness. It made what he is about to show him seem like a bad thing. Yuta lifts up his shirt, then looks at him hesitantly. “Well?” he asks quietly and it snaps Taeyong out of his trance. He wasn’t paying attention. He was lost in his worries. He tends to do that.
Taeyong blinks, then looks. “What-?” He stops startled, noticing the little silver accessory in Yuta’s navel. Suddenly he is ten times more focused on this issue than he usually is with anything else. “Did you… What? You just- Did you do this today?”
“Y-Yeah,” Yuta stutters. “You know I’ve been wanting to get this for a while, right? I was going to ask you but- I got- I got it on a whim… I wanted it so bad suddenly.”
“I was going to ask you to come- but I thought- like- maybe it could be a surprise, so...” Yuta trails off after adding, as if he had to explain to Taeyong why he did not get the memo first.
“Yeah, it was impulsive.” Yuta gives him that hesitant look again. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
Taeyong never took his eyes off that silver stud. Yuta’s skin is still red and visibly sensitive around it, and strangely, that doesn’t sit well with him. At all.
“Don’t stuff like this require an appointment? Did you make sure it’s safe?” He asks, a little defocused from the conversation.
“It’s the piercing shop I was talking about. The one near the studio,” Yuta answers him honestly. “The piercer didn’t have any appointments at that time so I just… yeah.”
“Did it hurt?” Taeyong asks him, finally looking up.
“You don’t look like you like it,” Yuta says quietly, a bit deterred.
“No,” Taeyong tells him incredulously, “I don’t not like it!”
“You’re being… Well, you’re not liking it,” Yuta tells him back, unconvinced. He pulls down his shirt, fingers still clutching at its hem.
“No! I just want to know if it hurt a lot. If it still hurts.”
Yuta gives him this look, but decides to answer his question first. “A little bit, but it was quick. All piercings are like that, no? It still stings now, though.”
“Well, did-” Yuta’s phone rings, cutting Taeyong off. Yuta stares at him, still, but he raises his eyebrows briefly. “Go pick it up first. We’ll talk about this later.”
-
Taeyong flicks open the box and takes out a cigarette easily, closing the door to the balcony behind him. He sits down heavily on his chair, lighting the cigarette in a practiced move.
This is a little different from how Yuta would come home with yet another ear piercing. No, it is a whole lot different for Taeyong. He isn’t sure if it is because it’s another larger body part which seems like it would hurt more.
Taeyong had to admit he’s not good with pain. He really, really hates being in pain. That’s why they have all sorts of relieving ointments and sprays at home for both of their wounds from dancing. He cannot imagine himself getting a navel piercing. That’s just… painful to imagine. Taeyong has his fair share of ear piercings, but he has no other body piercings, and no intention to get them. Yuta’s taken a liking to body piercings, and so far Taeyong’s had had no problem with that. Except for being a little worried for him.
In their years together Taeyong thinks he acts more and more cautious as he grew up, but Yuta seems to be the exact opposite. In some ways, Yuta appears more childish than he was before, easily succumbing to his sudden cravings and making impulsive decisions. He doesn’t want Yuta to hurt himself. At these moments he can wholeheartedly understand why his mother had frowned when he got his first piercing. There is an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, even though he knows Yuta made the decision himself and he didn’t regret it.
Taeyong sighs, tapping the cigarette between his fingers. He had been too absorbed in his thoughts to remember that he already lit it. The burnt-out bit drops into the ashtray, and he clicks his tongue. He suddenly feels the smell of tobacco is a little nauseating.
He wonders if this was what Yuta felt about his smoking. This Why would you do something to hurt yourself? feeling even though he understands why. Yuta used to nag a lot, now he doesn’t anymore. Taeyong isn’t sure if it’s because he’s come to terms with it or if he’s given up.
In the past, they have gotten into more arguments about this than they can count. Yuta really, really hated tobacco, like how Taeyong really, really hates being in pain. Yuta had persuaded him, fought him, threatened him to quit smoking, but nothing ever really worked.
He snuffs out the cigarette, drawing lines in the ash absentmindedly. Funny, he thinks, I’m overthinking. Again. Maybe this is a sign of growing old.
The balcony door slides open, and Taeyong jumps. He looks back, and Yuta is peeking out. He frowns in distaste for a second, expression exaggerated, probably because of the smell.
“Are you coming back in? It’s starting to rain,” Yuta asks.
Taeyong pushes himself off the chair. “Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. “Coming.” He picks up the ashtray and follows Yuta. Yuta holds the door open for him, then locks it when they are inside. Taeyong watches his back, in his thin light t-shirt, and a weird feeling bubbles up in his chest.
“Yuta,” he says. Involuntarily, he calls for him.
“Hm?” he hums. “What?”
Taeyong hesitates for a moment, but he checks again, and realizes that the little stone that was lodged uncomfortably in his chest is no longer there digging into his heart. He finds Yuta especially lovable tonight. He remembers why he loves him.
“I want to kiss you,” he tells him.
Yuta is taken aback by his statement, visibly. They have passed the stage where they needed permission to do that a long, long time ago. Yuta looks like he is choosing between “Why are you asking?” and simply “What?”. He furrows his brows, perplexed. He shakes his head a little, and Taeyong finds that magical feeling again. That feeling when he finds a new thing about Yuta that tells him one more time Yuta is the best thing in the world. They’ve passed that stage a long, long time ago.
“No kisses after you smoke,” Yuta finally says. “You know that.” He makes a face, scrunching up his nose.
Taeyong smiles. He didn’t, but that’s okay. He probably smells disgusting to Yuta. Yuta always told him that people who smoked a lot smell like tobacco all the time, even when they didn’t smoke. Perhaps he himself cannot notice, but now Taeyong wonders if Yuta has tolerated that for years just to live with him. It made him even more adorable in Taeyong’s eyes now.
-
“Can I ask you a thing?” Yuta asks him, standing behind him as he brushes his teeth to get ready for bed. “Answer honestly.”
“Yeah?” Taeyong mumbles around his toothbrush.
“About my piercing.”
“Yeah?” Taeyong repeats.
“Are you mad because I didn’t tell you before I got it or you don’t like it on me? One of those?” Yuta buries his face in his shoulder after saying it. “Just tell me honestly, please.”
Taeyong spits out the white bubbles in his mouth. “I told you,” he tells Yuta again. “Of course I’m worried about you. You could tell me first next time. And I don’t not like it. I like it. It looks good on you. It looks amazing on you.”
“Then why are you like this?” Yuta asks, “I feel like you don’t like it. Am I being paranoid?”
Taeyong sighs. “I don’t not like it because it doesn’t look good. I’m just surprised, Yuta,” he says. Then, as if he remembers something important, “You meant for it to be a surprise! I’m surprised. It’s a success!”
“Not ‘I don’t know what to feel’ surprised. I wanted you to be the happy kind of surprised.”
Taeyong miscalculates the time he needs to brush his all of his upper row of teeth and he leaves Yuta hanging for a tad bit too long. He thinks Yuta mistakes that little time lag as a sign that he doesn’t want to reply.
“You know… piercings heal, right?” Yuta whispers. He purses his lips, looking at him cautiously.
Taeyong coughs out his toothpaste again hurriedly. “Yuta,” he stops for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts. “No. No, I’m just conflicted. I really like it. Seriously. It looks good on you. I’m just a bit concerned about you getting the piercing, that’s all.”
“...Don’t tell me you don’t want me to get hurt. ...That’s dumb.” Yuta eyes him as if he can see through him. Taeyong chokes a little on water as he rinses out his mouth, surprised that Yuta just concluded hours of his overthinking like that. He had gone back and forth between liking it and not, always thinking of it as an intrusion that has forced its way through Yuta’s skin on its own.
Yuta pats his back gently. “Are you okay?” Taeyong nods, shaking off the water droplets on his toothbrush while trying to hold his coughs in.
“Let me see it,” he tells Yuta when he recovers, gesturing for him to lift up his shirt.
Despite shooting him a questioning gaze, Yuta does it for him, and he crouches down a little to see it properly. “You bled,” Taeyong observes.
“Only a little,” Yuta replies. “It’s okay, Taeyong. I’m a grown-ass man.”
“Did they give you anything to wash it with?”
“Yes.”
“What about dancing? Can you exercise with this?”
“Yes, but with a bandage.”
Taeyong frowns at it, and Yuta probably finds it weird that he is crouching there intensely inspecting his belly button. “Lee Taeyong you-” He hisses in surprise as Taeyong plants a loud kiss on his stomach, just missing his piercing by a millimeter. “Don’t do that!” He winces, brows knitted.
Taeyong gets up, pleased by his reaction because that’s what he thought. “Hurts, right?” Taeyong asks. “Why are you lying to me? I know it hurts.”
He knows Yuta was about to yell in affirmation and ask why he chose to do that if he knows. But Yuta took another look at him and asks, “Are you really that worried about me, Lee Taeyong?”
Taeyong pauses, then laughs lightly in defeat. “It kills me,” he jokingly admits. “Dumb, right?”
Yuta opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again, and suddenly looks like he is at a loss for words. “...Why? This is such- such a small thing.”
Taeyong shrugs. They stand there like that for a while, wordless, then Taeyong ushers him out of the bathroom. “Let’s go to bed, sexy.”
“Lee Taeyong.”
Taeyong turns around at that, still holding onto Yuta’s wrist. They stand at the frame of the door, Yuta on the threshold, so he is a little taller than Taeyong. Yuta is frowning.
“Hm?” Taeyong hums, smiling easily at him.
Yuta schools his expression into an annoyed one, then leans in to kiss him. Taeyong’s chuckles are muffled, and he reaches to pat the small of Yuta’s back in a playful manner. Yuta leans onto him, arms around Taeyong’s neck making him support his weight. Yuta is on his tiptoes so Taeyong takes a step back, making him fall. Yuta makes a surprised sound and breaks away, but Taeyong kisses him again and again as he steadies himself.
“Lee Taeyong!” Yuta hisses.
“Nakamoto Yuta!” He whispers back, grinning.
-
“Hey, Yuta,” Taeyong taps his shoulder gently.
“Mm?” Yuta mumbles, sounding sleepy.
“Buy me some nicotine patches tomorrow?”
There is no reply from Yuta for a long while, and Taeyong assumes he is too tired to register what he just said. He is about to put his arm back around Yuta’s waist and go to sleep but Yuta jumps up suddenly.
Yuta scrambles to turn on the bedlight and then looks at him in shock. “What?” He props himself up on his elbows and lies on his stomach, forgetting about his piercing. Taeyong is about to remind him, but he hisses in pain himself and rolls over to his side. “Fuck,” he hisses under his breath.
Taeyong smiles lightly. “Buy me some nicotine patches tomorrow?” His hand rests on the curve of Yuta’s waist, kneading him gently. “Mm?”
Yuta narrows his eyes at him, recovering from his shock. He looks like he doesn’t want to believe him. “You never used them when I bought them and then they expire. All the time. Every single time.”
“I’ll try,” Taeyong promises.
“Don’t waste my money, Lee Taeyong.”
“I’m serious,” Taeyong tells him instead.
“What are you talking about,” Yuta says flatly. “Don’t bring my hopes up. I’d rather you tell me you won’t try instead of telling me you will and not try.”
“Please help me, Yuta,” Taeyong says. “I can’t do it alone.”
Yuta searches his face for a long time, then closes his eyes in the end. “At least use the whole pack,” he says, giving in.
“Okay,” Taeyong promises him.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Taeyong. I don’t know why you’re suddenly thinking that way. But maybe it doesn’t matter. It’s… good to try.” Yuta blinks at him slowly. “Come here.”
Taeyong shuffles closer and closes his eyes, waiting for his reward. Yuta leans in and kisses him briefly. He smiles, watching Yuta wonder what has affected him so much today.
Yuta furrows his brows when he cannot come to a conclusion, then turns his back to him with a soft huff. “You’re a nightmare, Lee Taeyong.”
Taeyong lines up his body behind Yuta’s, trapping him in his embrace. “Just thought it’s about time I really showed you I care about you more than anything,” he says, grinning because he knows how deliberately sappy that sounds.
Yuta snorts. “Go to sleep, Lee Taeyong. We’ll see.”
There is a hint of amusement in his voice, and Taeyong chuckles at that. He’s not planning to let Yuta down.