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English
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Part 2 of but it's destiny
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Published:
2020-03-10
Updated:
2020-03-13
Words:
1,530
Chapters:
2/?
Comments:
40
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672
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4,733

다시난 여기 (and I'm still)

Summary:

Snapshots of moments with our beloved characters, post-season finale.

Notes:

Chapter 1: i. vintage

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

The boys are curious about his new-old life. One weekend in spring, when Company Five rotates to the barracks in Pyongyang, Jeonghyeok invites them over, for an informal performance and a bit of a visit on the sly.

The guards at the entrances are good with him, and he performs twice-weekly sweeps for bugs. It’s fine. 

He’s got his own flat in the state-issued dormitories for the National Symphony Orchestra, and they ooh and ahh over that, too.

With the exception of Chi-su, they’re all still stuck in the barracks. Eundong likes the company, and says it makes him miss his mother less. But Ju-meok and Gwang-beom shift against each other, when the topic of housing comes up. 

“Half the time they come mooch off me and sleep in my courtyard,” Chi-su complains to Jeonghyeok, but his lip is twitching. “They say it’s to guard me, or do repairs for me, but all that happens is food vanishing from my larder!”

Jeonghyeok’s tried calling him Comrade Captain, but it just makes Chi-su shudder, and not in a good way. So Comrade Chi-su he stays. 

Manbok is here too, and Jeonghyeok’s amused to realise he’s lugged his sound and recording equipment along.

“Won’t you get into trouble, Comrade?” He asks, pouring mismatched glasses of water for them. He doesn’t entertain, and now there’s five of them, so they’re using two water glasses, two coffee mugs, and Eundong is sipping his water carefully from a soju glass. 

“I signed them out and followed official procedure,” Manbok says. He’s got his chest puffed out, proud and peacock-like. For the first time since Jeonghyeok knows him, he’s sitting straight, and not cringing away. “I told them it was to record our shining state’s greatest pianist!”

“Hyperbole,” Jeonghyeok laughs. He places a coffee mug in front of Manbok.

Before he moves away, he pauses. Manbok’s got his gaze fixed on Jeonghyeok’s wrist.

Jeonghyeok looks down. Ah. 

Reflex makes him reach out, and cover a hand over his watch. When he realises it, and pulls his fingers away, Manbok’s shifting his gaze upward.

He smiles tentatively at Jeonghyeok. “It’s good that you’re wearing it, Comrade.”

“It’s a good watch,” Jeonghyeok murmurs. He taps a finger against its surface. “I bought this for my brother, actually.”

“I know,” Manbok says, still keeping valiant eye contact. “I heard him say that it was a present from you. While you were in Switzerland. When.”

They fall silent.

Faintly, Jeonghyeok knows that the boys are staring at them. 

Eundong’s opening his mouth, but Gwang-beom’s faster. He lunges over and manages to get his hand around Eundong’s nose and mouth. 

“Yes,” Jeonghyeok says. He straightens. Manbok lowers his gaze. 

Jeonghyeok comes closer. “But Comrade, this watch is also a present from you, to me. You found it, and gave it back to me. Remember?”

Manbok doesn’t look up. His shoulders quake, and he tightens his fingers around his mug. 

Chi-su looks between them, his gaze darting and bird-like. He tilts his head.

Ju-meok stands, and hauls Gwang-beom and Eundong up with him. “So, Comrades,” he chirps brightly, “shall we go see the lifts in Comrade Captain’s dormitory! I hear that they go all eighteen floors!”

They shuffle out in haste.

In the quiet after, Jeonghyeok pats a hand on Manbok’s shoulder. It trembles beneath his fingertips. 

“Comrade,” he says, low, “come. Didn’t you say you want to record my playing? There’s a song I wrote for my brother.”

Manbok inhales. It’s a harsh, guttural sound. Wet. 

Jeonghyeok gentles his voice. “You gave me the gift of my brother’s voice to me, one last time. Won’t you help record the song meant for him, too?”

“Comrade.” Manbok chokes out. “I’ll. I’ll be honoured.”

“Good,” Jeonghyeok says. “There’s no one else I want to trust with this.”

 

--

 

Notes:

First chapter #PPL: Our dear Comrade Ri's watch is a Chopard Alpine Eagle.

Thank you for the love everyone has shown The Season of Us.
Was very surprised (in a good way) at the outpouring of affection and appreciation that's been manifesting in the comments and kudos section.
다시난 여기 (and I'm still) is my way of further exorcising at the North-South village that just won't leave me alone...
If there are prompts you feel strongly about- feel free to fling them this way.

Comments are love. #fingerhearts

Chapter 2: ii. prima donna

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Seo Dan does not like to lose. 

It’s a failing of hers she’s known all her existence, a whisper in her head, a creeping realisation at certain pivotal moments in her life. 

She has never had to acknowledge it. Not when there’s cello to practice and Mother trying to solve all her problems for her and cello to practice and Uncle doing his best to be her personal cheerleader despite his alter ego of being Someone That Matters in the military. And always, cello to practice.

There are times when the whisper is louder, and she turns her head to try and make out the words despite herself.

When the girls in her class mock her even as they envy her, for wearing imported fashions and having the guts to leave her hair straight and unbound.

When she lays a deliberate path to the boy that is destined for her, and yet he smiles at her as though they’re strangers under a foreign sky.

When said boy follows his camera around, and looks at her but doesn’t see her. 

When, years later, at a table with their parents and across from each other in a quiet restaurant, that boy says placidly he will marry her. That cold resignation in his voice, how… flattering. 

When Gu Seungjoon.

She’s never minded that she was born in the land of the Dear Leader. They rank high on the Song-poon, her and hers. That as well as money helps grease palms, and allows her to have choices that she wants, and lets her go places she wishes to go. 

Freedom is arbitrary, and an empty concept. Who can deny she is free, if her life buys her the boy she wants, if it gets her to lands to refine her cello? 

She’s a simple girl, she feels. She doesn’t need much. Just the boy, and the cello.

And then it turns out that the boy doesn’t want her, and Seo Dan doesn’t want him, because what is he if he’s not hers. The cello is not enough when the other boy, the boy that crashes into her heart; that boy does, yet he cannot. 

When Gu Seungjoon. 

The spring after, and summer, and autumn, she cries, because she doesn’t like to lose. She cries and cries and cries. 

She rages and howls and in her darker moments, curses the state, because the state engineered her loss. That terrifies her uncle, and makes her mother sit next to her door on the other side, where she’s barred them from entering her bubble of loss. It’s hers. 

It’s her loss, and hers to lose. She doesn't like to lose. But it’s hers. 

They think she doesn’t know. But his pacing shadow, and the inky slants of her stockinged feet, where she’s seated on the floor with them stretched and pressed against Seo Dan’s door, are the frequent mute companions of Seo Dan’s loss. 

Her cello stands guard and silent.

Childishly, she wishes the tears will wash the loss away, or flood reality so much that it turns into what she dreams of almost every night. 

Him, offering her a meal, a chance. Him offering her him.

The winter after. She finally acknowledges that she’s a sore loser, when the grief burns itself into anger. 

She’s angry she’s lost. She’s angry it’s happened to her. She’s just angry.

There are some books forbidden in her shining state, where men wiser and older and more capable than her (or so they declare) say such books are dangerous, and give rise to toxic thoughts. She’s read them in between cello practice in other neighbour-lands, where she’s allowed, because the state believes in old music, and the sanctity of.

It means she knows concepts like ‘revenge is a dish served cold’. It means she’s aware of literary sayings like ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’.

Seo Dan does not like to lose. 

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to lose. It doesn’t mean she won’t deign to work with those she’s lost to before, just to help avenge her loss.

After all, her efforts are for a worthy cause. 

It’s almost in her to declare that for him, she can lose anything. 

How ironic, Seo Dan thinks, as she waits for Comrade Cheon Su-bok with a razor-sharp grin on her face. Here she is, thinking such dramatic declarations to herself. And for Gu Seungjoon, the one person who always gave Seo Dan the upper hand, who always made her feel like she’s won. 

The comrade Cheon arrives on the dot. He takes a look at her face and promptly starts sweating. 

Seo Dan knows he won’t like what she’s going to ask (and demand, and bribe, and threaten). 

But he’ll do it. He lost too, like she did. They all did, even the person she has in mind, for all she’s still unknowing of her loss. 

It’s all right. Seo Dan will inform her, even as she places the instruments of their joint vengeance in front of her. It’ll be a North-South alliance, conducted through conduits and middlemen. Very cloak-and-dagger. Very fancy.  

Gu Seungjoon would’ve been tickled.

Because Yoon Seri was a worthy opponent in the end, and deserving of respect, for all that Seo Dan does not like to lose. 

After her loss, she understands now. Jeonghyeok was never hers to lose.

 

--

 

Notes:

Everyone- thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for the continued engagement and discussion of these little faffy thoughts I've had about our dear characters!

Always happy to chat and dissect or even just plain fangirl about the North-South village, so feel free to come chat in the comments. Same goes for any prompts you have. To the ladies who offered them in the previous chapter - many thanks! Will respond to you individually but am having a think how I can integrate them.

Hope my Seo Dan does Seo Ji-hye's portrayal some justice.

Comments are #fingerhearts.

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