Chapter Text
Jinwoo was born deaf. He was used to people pitying him because of his disability, because he couldn't identify his surroundings by the sounds, he couldn't listen to music, he couldn't communicate verbally, but Jinwoo never felt the need to be pitied. He was born like this, he hadn't lost his hearing, he didn't know how it felt to hear, so he had learned to live with his handicap since his childhood. His life was just quiet, no sounds to bother his peacefulness.
Even if the actual society allowed deaf people to do a lot of things they couldn't do in the past, many jobs were still inaccessible for them. He couldn't work in jobs that required all his five senses, and honestly, he preferred work somewhere he didn't have to communicate too much with people. He was only twenty-three, and he was already bored of being treated like a kid. Indeed, he couldn't hear. But he could see, touch, smell, taste and if he wanted to talk with someone who didn't understand the sign language, he just needed a piece of paper and a pen or his phone. And this is why he chose to be a mechanic.
He liked his job, he liked to use his hands and he felt useful. His co-workers were more in contact with the customers, and they never complained about Jinwoo's hearing problems. He was a good employee, he always did a great job and he got along with his colleagues. He was one of the youngest workers, most of them were thirty or more, the only one close to his age was a new employee, he was hired six months ago and despite his young age, he worked hard and it was well received by the co-workers. He was pretty calm, Jinwoo liked him. He was named Park Minhyuk, he was mature for only twenty years old, but sometimes his childish part emerged, and Jinwoo thought it was extremely cute, even if the boy didn't like being called 'cute'.
Today was a proof of that childlike part. Minhyuk had been anxious all day, and everyone noticed it, but he didn't explain why, and said “I'm okay.” with his usual voice tone whenever someone tried to ask him. Jinwoo was the only one who didn't ask him, because he saw Minhyuk didn't want them to know, so at the end of the day, before he went home, Jinwoo pulled the youngest's sleeve and gestured to him the break room. Though, he moved his arm and seemed to say something that Jinwoo didn't understand by trying to read his lips too late.
When he saw Minhyuk leaving, Jinwoo took his phone and sent a message to him. Jinwoo had tried to learn how to use his voice, because he still could feel in his throat when his voice came out. But it was something stressful, he felt his vocal cords vibrating when he spoke, but he wasn't sure if it was loud enough, or too loud. However, it wasn't the thing that makes him uncomfortable. He didn't know if he formulated the words well, when he was a child, many other kids had bullied him for that, imitating him (he had guessed it because the others had laughed at how the kids had acted in front of him) and had made fun of him because of his deafness. So he gave up, he was deaf and it was not possible for someone who never heard in his life to pronounce words. He was forced to accept this reality, it had stopped abruptly his attempt to be a normal child, and he couldn't blame anyone but himself for being born like that. This is how he had grown up ashamed of his handicap, and even if now he was more comfortable with it, he'd rather write than force himself to speak to communicate with people that don't know the sign language.
Minhyuk stopped, so he understood he received the message. Luckily, he was a respectful man, and knew even if Jinwoo had a voice, he didn't use it at all, so he read the message, but he didn't answer it. Jinwoo was worried for his friend. Although he didn't know if he really could call him his friend but they were close enough to talk when one of them was not okay. He sent a second message, more insistent, hoping he would receive a reply this time.
Minhyuk seemed to think about something, so he guessed he was looking for an answer. A few seconds later, the youngest began to talk. “I'm sorry hyung, I didn't want to worry you, I just have something that's making me feel stressed but it's not something bad I guess, you don't need to worry about me, but thank you for your concern.” He was relieved it was not something bad, but wanted to know, especially seeing the young man so uncomfortable. Jinwoo glanced at him, indicating he wasn't going to give up. Minhyuk just sighed and finally decided to explain something. But this time, he took his phone out to type it, Jinwoo thought that maybe he didn't want their co-workers to know his problem. When he received the message, Jinwoo could see a slight blush on the boy's cheeks, something that made him more curious than he already was.
“Don't laugh at me, okay? I have a friend who's a guitarist and he's going to perform tonight in a bar frequently visited by amateur artists like him. I know he performs there every first Friday of the month, but I never went to see him playing and I'm scared he'll find it weird since we don't talk often since I quit high school two years ago.” Jinwoo clearly didn't expect that, and he couldn't keep his lips from smiling, and he saw Minhyuk yelling something and blushing harder. He found it extremely cute. “I don't know what kind of relationship you had with your friend but you seem to really like them or you wouldn't been anxious all day only for this. You don't have to worry, I'm sure they will be happy to see you, especially if you were friends. And why don't you go with a friend ? It can help you to feel less anxious.”
When he read the message, a sad look passed through his eyes, and Jinwoo felt a bit of guilt in his stomach, maybe he said something clumsy. After he finished writing his message, Minhyuk seemed hesitate before sending it. “We are just friends, don't misinterpret our relationship hyung. And I don't have friends who want to come with me.”
This time, Jinwoo realised something particular. He read the first message a second time to confirm his doubt. He didn't misread; his friend wasn't a girl. Jinwoo choose not to make any comment about the fact it was a guy, his blush clearly showed he was not only a friend to him. He thought about asking Minhyuk if he wanted him to come but he didn't know if it was a good idea, Jinwoo was deaf, he would just stand there and do nothing. He proposed it even if he found it useless. Surprisingly, Minhyuk smiled widely.
“Really? Doesn't it bother you?” He said, happily.
Jinwoo felt relieved, seeing him so happy to know that Jinwoo would come with him made Jinwoo himself happy. If Minhyuk liked the idea even if Jinwoo would not attend it like a normal person, it was okay. So Jinwoo just smiled and nodded. He had nothing else to do this evening, he didn't go outside often, except to work and to go shopping. It was a good opportunity to drink a bit and to meet new people.
They set the outing at half past eight in the evening, his friend performing fifteen minutes later. Jinwoo choose to wear simple clothes, a pair of jeans, a shirt and a jacket. They were in spring, he didn't have to wear too warm clothes. He could see that Minhyuk opted for the same lightness. Jinwoo waved at him with a smile on his lips, but he was greeted by a frown.
“You're late! Sanha will perform in few minutes, I don't want to miss him!” Minhyuk said with a shaking voice, showing his stress. Jinwoo giggled quietly, something Minhyuk didn't miss, he grumbled and went inside the bar without him. His behaviour was childish and Jinwoo couldn't help but think it was extremely cute as he followed him inside.
When he stepped in, Jinwoo was surprised, the bar was not too spacious, but not too tight, and a lot of people was here, drinking their drinks as they were talking. The atmosphere was nice, he could feel slight vibrations that indicated the music wasn't too loud. He noticed that nobody was on the stage, so he supposed the music came from a radio or songs the staff chose, he didn't know, and honestly, he didn't care. He sat at the small table Minhyuk was sitting at, still stressed. Jinwoo patted his back and smiled warmly, trying to comfort him. It seemed to work because the younger relaxed a bit and smiled back.
After few seconds, Minhyuk suggested to order drinks for both of them, to thank him for coming with him. While Minhyuk was at the bar, Jinwoo could see the curtains open, revealing a chair and a mic held by a mic stand. A tall man walked in, holding a guitar, Jinwoo guessed it was Minhyuk's friend, Sanha, and it was confirmed by the younger who came back quickly to his seat and breathed heavily. His eyes were focused on the man who sat on the chair, adjusting the mic. He didn't seem to notice the intense look Minhyuk was giving, undisturbed by the people who began to stop their talk to concentrate on him.
Few seconds later, he moved his head to look at the crowd and smiled shyly. "Hi everyone! I will sing Every Day, Every moment by Paul Kim." Jinwoo read on his lips. A second later, he began to strum the strings of his guitar. Jinwoo moved his head to take the drinks Minhyuk ordered earlier and smiled at the waiter who brought them to thank him. Minhyuk didn't seemed to notice him, too focused on the singer. He wasn't the only one, a lot of people, more than before, stopped their conversations to admire the young man on the stage. After what Jinwoo guessed was the chorus, the crowd cheered and applauded him, Minhyuk stood up and screamed something Jinwoo didn't catch, but the huge smile on his face suggested that it was an encouragement. The public stopped its applause while Sanha began to sing the next verse. Jinwoo felt guilty, because he wasn't amazed like everyone, and quietly drank his beer. When the song ended, the cheers seemed louder than during the song, dozen of people stood up, including Minhyuk again, showing their support. Jinwoo clapped his hands, he didn't want to seem rude, and could only suppose this guy was a good singer and guitarist.
After thanking the public, Sanha left the stage with his instrument, and the light turned off, probably for preparing the place for the next artist. Minhyuk sat more stressed than before and drank his beer in one swallow. "I will greet Sanha backstage, see you later hyung." he said, without waiting for Jinwoo's answer, he left him.
Jinwoo didn't want to prevent him from seeing his friend, but he didn't want to be alone here. He was deaf, what would people think if they tried to talk to him and saw that he was deaf? This was a bar where artists came to sing and play music, why would a deaf man be here? He took his phone out to send a message to Minhyuk, but he quickly realised the younger forgot his phone on the table they'd shared. He had been too excited to see his friend.
While Jinwoo was panicking about the fact people would maybe judge him, the lights were turned on again, but this time, nothing was on the stage. A light lit up a corner, and a man appeared. He was smaller than Sanha, but seemed to be as young as he was. He was pretty, really pretty. He had smooth brown hair and nice lips. Suddenly, as he placed himself at the centre of the stage, he smiled widely at the public and said (more screamed, given the vibrations Jinwoo felt). “Good evening everybody! I hope you're all having fun! Tonight, I'm going to sing Unconditionally by Park Sang Cheol! I hope you'll enjoy it!” And then, the music began. The song was more dynamic than the previous, he could guess it at the movement in the crowd, they started to dance a bit, and at the vibrations quivering in the air. After a few seconds, he sang the first lyrics. The man was lively, he was alone on this tiny stage, but he controlled the whole crowd in less than one second. It wasn't his singing skills, but his joyful personality. His contagious smile attracted every person in this room, even Jinwoo who was deaf wanted to stand up and dance with the other people. But he didn't do it, his eyes were too focused at admiring the singer. Jinwoo liked this kind of person, everyone liked them, they were unashamed, happy and they had a lot of friends. Jinwoo didn't know if this man was a good singer or just a common person who knew how to animate an audience, but the public seemed to really like him, he even noticed that there were more people than before, so he guessed he was also a good singer.
Jinwoo's eyes were focused on him during the entire song, he only looked away when Minhyuk came back with Sanha who carried his guitar, sitting beside him. He wanted to look again at the singer but Minhyuk distracted him to introduce his friend.
“Hyung, this is Sanha! And Sanha, this is Jinwoo hyung, a co-worker and a friend.” Minhyuk explained, gesturing with his arms to make sure Jinwoo understood him. Jinwoo noticed that the stress Minhyuk felt before leaving him for his friend seemed to be gone. He smiled politely at the youngest, who smiled back and greeted him. Jinwoo only nodded, unable to answer verbally. Sanha didn't seem to know his disability, and Jinwoo saw him shifting uncomfortably on his seat. Minhyuk didn't seem to notice the unpleasant silence that took place between his two friends, and cheerfully continued his conversation with the guitarist. Jinwoo didn't do anything, used to this and he would rather set apart than disturb Minhyuk's happiness, considering he didn't have the opportunity to see him smile like that.
After a few minutes, he got bored of watching them talking about things he didn't catch or understand, so his eyes looked at the bar, at the people who were talking and drinking alcohol. Speaking of alcohol, Jinwoo noticed his glass was empty, and decided he needed to move, being on his seat since they had first arrived. So he stood up, and gestured to the counter when Minhyuk asked where he was going. He stopped when he saw one of the men who was serving their customers. It was the previous singer, the cheerful one, who seemed to give a good ambiance in the room. He stepped toward him, but the man was busy with others clients, so he chose to sit again, but on one of the free bar stools instead. He placed his chin on the palm of his hand and eyed gently his surroundings, not having looked at this part of the bar yet. By the time he tried to distinguish what alcohol was on the bottle at the end of the counter, the bartender came in front of him with a polite smile.
“What do you want, Sir?” asked the man. Jinwoo didn't react at first, too surprised by his unexpected appearance, and rose his eyes toward him tilting his head. The bartender repeated his question with a smirk, but still well-behaved as his work required it. Jinwoo lowered his gaze, he didn't want to let him know he was deaf, so he showed his empty beer glass and the man seemed to understand, although a bit annoyed by his customer's behaviour, probably finding him impolite because he didn't answered verbally. He disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a new glass filled with the alcohol. He put it down violently, and said with a frown “Enjoy your drink.”, but he seemed to soften when he saw the worried look on Jinwoo's face.
“I don't know why you're worried but be polite and talk instead of showing your glass like you did.” Jinwoo hurriedly nodded his head and try to make a slight smile while he was holding money to pay for his drink. The bartender sighed and took the bills “You could at least say 'okay.'”. Jinwoo irritated him again, and guilt grew inside his stomach. He didn't want to upset him, but even if he tried his best to look like a normal person, he couldn't hide indefinitely his disability, so he took his phone to open a note application and wrote “I can't talk.”. He grabbed the sleeve of the man's shirt in an attempt to call him quietly. It worked, he turned his head, but of course, he didn't look pleased to have his sleeve pulled like that.
“What-” He didn't get the time to say his sentence before the phone was in front of him. His angry look fell down within seconds while he read the short text. He suddenly felt confused and stuttered some apologies, moving his hands and panic took over his eyes. Jinwoo felt a bit bad lying to him, but it was not fully a lie, he really couldn't talk, and he didn't want him to know he was deaf, he would probably ask why he was there and Jinwoo would be ashamed again of his deafness. Then he smiled at him, and wrote a new text “Don't worry, I understand your reaction, it was rude of me for acting like that, I should have told you this before, I'm sorry.” The bartender relaxed and smiled too “No, it's okay, I can understand why you didn't tell me, it can't be easy to have this handicap.” In answer, Jinwoo smiled softly, glad that the atmosphere between them felt lighter.
When he was taking a sip of his drink, he suddenly felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder. He naturally looked over it to see who was behind him, and he wasn't surprised to see Minhyuk. He could read on his lips that he was leaving the bar, and Jinwoo perceived a slight disappointment in his stomach, but he didn't have any reason to stay there, so he just smiled to the younger and nodded. He turned his head to say goodbye to the cute bartender but he sadly could see that he was already gone, serving other clients.
Then, it was without a last word that he left the bar with his friend. He went back home hurriedly, Jinwoo didn't like to be alone in the streets in the middle of the night. He fell on his bed, tired because he wasn't used to go outside like that, but the tiredness was mainly caused by his stressed-out thoughts that haunted him all evening. He quickly changed into his pyjamas and went back under his warm cover, his head pressed against the soft pillow. He looked one last time at his phone before falling asleep, after unlocking it, he saw the last application he had opened was his notes, and then in front of his eyes were the few sentences he exchanged with the bartender. The pretty bartender. He couldn't stop his brain from imagining the soft lips on which he had read his words. He couldn't stop his brain from dreaming about how cute and precious the bartender had been after learning he couldn't talk. He couldn't stop his brain from dreaming about how stunning the singer had been when he had sung on stage.