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As Amie walked her bike along the Kroon’s road she looked upon their grand, American style home and wondered what Felicia might be up to. She was right by their gate, just a push of a button away, and she was fully aware that she could do it. Even if she decided to call first before trying to ring her way in, Amie knew that the ball was in her court. All she wanted was to have her friend back, but that wasn’t an option for her anymore was it? There was no way that Amie could unkiss Ludde, and there wasn’t any way that Amie could make Felicia unsee that video, and now she felt that she couldn’t possibly make Felicia forgive her for the wrong she’d done to their relationship. Felicia was a true friend to Amie and Amie repaid her with disrespect, so what right did she have to expect Felicia to forgive her?
Dejected by her own degrading thoughts, Amie walked on feeling like she shouldn’t even give herself the satisfaction of looking at Felicia’s window and hoping for a resolution. A week surely wasn’t enough time for her once friend to feel any better about the wrong she’d witnessed through Klara’s horrendous Instagram story, and she was wasting faith thinking that it was. Amie knew that she and Ludde were equally responsible parties in that now famous makeout session, but she felt especially heinous for kissing her friend’s boyfriend, even if they were on a break. As she listened to her mind going around and around in circles, she realized that if she couldn’t even forgive herself, then there was no chance that Felicia ever would either. Amie figured that she would just have to grow used to wallowing in self-induced despair with no friends to speak of.
While she trudged along, Amie could hear what must have been the fourth approaching jogger this morning. She couldn’t ever remember people in Oskarshamn jogging before now but more power to them she supposed. Just as she was about to start spiraling further into her shame, she noticed that the footfalls of the jogger were slowing down as they came closer to her. Now Amie may feel horrible for what she did, but she didn’t want to die today so naturally she turned to face her assailant head on so they’d know she was not going to be an easy target. To her immediate relief, she saw that it was just Elias coming her way in all his early morning workout glory.
“Hey,” Elias greeted as he approached her at a more normal person’s pace.
“Hi,” Amie replied with a small smile. “You’re up early.”
“Always.” He returned her smile and fell in step beside her as she began walking her bike again. “Can’t say that I see you getting up this early just to ride your bike though.”
Amie took note of his slightly inquisitive tone and she hated it. No way did she want Elias to know how pathetic she was being right now, he’d just laugh right in her face and probably tell her Felicia hadn’t even thought about her all week. She had to deflect and quick.
“Actually you can.” She gave him a cheeky smile as he quirked an eyebrow at her. “Don’t you remember our illegal road trip to Karlskrona?”
“Ah.” Clearly he remembered just as she was hoping. “I guess this is where I picked you up. Did you get another flat or are you on your way back from somewhere?”
“No, no I’m just … here I guess,” She responded, sadness slipping back into her voice just a little bit. Of course he’d ask those questions, either of those explanations would make sense and what Amie was doing made absolutely no sense. This is it, this is where he finds out that she’s dumb and desperate.
“Amie? Did you come by to see Felicia?” Wow, whoever said blondes were dumb must not know anything of Elias Kroon’s intuition. Amie tried her best to school her face and body language before answering him. “You tensed up.”
“I did not,” she squeaked a touch as she immediately became flustered again. “Sometimes when you can’t sleep you can’t think of anything better to do than ride your bike and that’s it.”
“You can’t sleep?” She could see from his concerned expression that she had chosen the entirely wrong words to say. Before she could even realize what her face was doing, her sad, pleading eyes were already pulling at his heartstrings. “Hey, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but it might also help you feel a little better? It’s completely up to you though.”
Amie huffed, she didn’t want to even have to think about the situation she’d put herself in, but it was possible that Elias had a point. She hadn’t been able to talk to anyone about this ordeal since the fallout and that was starting to get to her. Felicia definitely wouldn’t talk to her, Klara was the devil, talking to Ludde was out of the question, and she didn’t even want to think about how disappointed her mom would be in her if she told her about what had happened. Maybe Elias was her best option. Though she couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes, she took a deep breath before she spoke to him again.
“Did you see it? The Insta story?”
“I had heard about it, but I didn’t watch it. I don’t follow Klara and Felicia was so upset over it I didn’t think it would be right for me to ask her to show me.” Elias had a small sympathetic look on his face as he answered her. She could feel his eyes on her but she still didn’t want to see his face while they talked about this.
"I'm terrible, I feel terrible and she has every reason to hate me. I feel so stupid and even though I have no right to I just-" she paused as she tried to pull herself back together a bit, "I just miss her."
Elias was taking too long to respond to her and when Amie looked up at him he was making a face that she could only describe as a scrunch of contemplation. He felt her eyes on his face and schooled his odd expression before he looked back at her, seemingly ready to speak to her again.
“So Felicia would probably kill me for telling you this, but I think she misses you too,” he finally admitted, “at least a little bit, she’s still definitely upset though.”
“Yeah?” Amie was shocked to hear this.
“Yeah, it sucks because you were her only friend here so now she just sits around the house all day.” Now at this point Elias was oversharing, but Amie would be lying if she said the imagery of his words wasn’t tugging at her heartstrings. He could see the slight downturn of her mouth and how her eyes looked like they were about to get weepy, and he decided this was not the relaxing stroll he wanted them to have. To his relief, he spotted a bench up ahead and decided that was as good of a spot as any for them to settle down for a while.
“Hey, I’m here to help and if you’re pouting I’m not doing my job.” He gave her a small smile, which may have grown a bit wider when he earned a small chuckle from Amie.
“I just feel bad, I feel like a worse friend than Klara,” Amie lamented.
“Alright, get over here, we’re definitely not doing that.” Elias took hold of her bike’s handlebars and walked it over to lean on the fence near the bench, leaving Amie free to take a seat, where he then sat next to her. “I’m gonna ask you some questions okay.”
Amie nodded and he took the opportunity to continue.
“Do you genuinely regret kissing Ludde? Like even if you guys hadn’t been recorded and exposed?”
“I really do,” Amie sighed. “I wish I could take it back every time that I think about it.”
“Do you even like Ludde Amie?”
“I … I think he’s cute and I’ve even kinda said that to Felicia before.” The subtle shame was returning to her face. “But I don’t think I like him as anything more than a friend.”
“You don’t like him romantically at all?” She shook her head no and he found himself feeling slightly confused. “So what made you go hide away with him?”
“Promise you won’t judge me?” She asked after a short pause, and as Elias nodded she took a deep breath. “I don’t really get attention from guys Elias, I never have. Ludde had told me that him and Felicia weren’t together anymore and even though I knew it wasn’t a good idea, I felt like it was better than if they were actually still together. I know it doesn’t really make sense but that’s what my alcohol brain came up with.”
“Okay, well that was honest.”
“You said you wouldn’t judge!”
“And I’m not!” Elias defensively raised his hands to show he meant no harm, pausing as he thought over her words. “You didn’t just wanna ask me?”
“That’s not funny Elias.” Despite her words, she was indeed trying to keep from laughing at him.
“Maybe not funny but possibly fun,” he quipped with a goofy smirk as he kept messing around with her.
“You have to stop.” Now Amie was laughing and Elias was laughing along with her, happy to see her somewhat happy again.
“Anyway, I’m sure anybody would love to kiss you so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.” He flashed her a dashing, Golden Boy Kroon smile and swore he saw her blush a bit. “Who stopped first though?”
“We sort of both did? Like it was fun at first and then I think we both started feeling pretty bad around the same time, so we stopped and I walked out.” Amie hadn’t really thought about how things had ended with Ludde that night and she couldn’t really see how that would be helpful information for Elias to know.
“Okay, so you don’t actually like Ludde, you genuinely feel regret for what you did, you wouldn’t do it again … right?” He gave her a bit of a stern look as he asked for confirmation.
“Of course not,” she confirmed, shaking her head, “never again I swear.”
“Good, you would never do it again, you stopped and left before things got out of hand and given the opportunity you’d apologize. All that sound about right to you?”
“Yeah.” Amie’s voice was small as she agreed with Elias’ list of her feelings.
“Then I think after you give Felicia a bit of time, there just might be a chance that you two could be friends again.” He tried to put all of the conviction in his voice so that Amie knew he believed what he was saying. “You miss her and she misses you, things might be different but I feel like you two will find your way back together.”
“You really think so Elias?” She was looking at him with those sad eyes again so he gave her closest hand a little pat.
“I really do.” He smiled at her again. “Besides there’s no other nice girls around here, she’ll realize that soon enough.”
That comment had Amie chuckling again with her free hand coming up to her face. Elias noticed while they were in his future apartment that she seemed to do that a lot when she was reluctant to laugh at something. He thought it was adorable, but if he was still looking a little dreamy eyed when she finally looked back at him that was just a coincidence. Elias liked spending time with Amie but he’d feel a little bad diving deeper into what that could be like while she and Felicia were at odds. It was best to give things time to smooth over first.
“So.” Amie broke his reverie with those questioning eyes. She turned herself to face him and brought her legs up onto the seat of the bench, folding them at her side.
“So?” He asked as he turned to fully face her as well, stretching his one arm out along the back of the bench.
“Must be a lot of nice girls in Karlskrona if you’re still leaving us all behind,” she teased with a small smirk.
“Haha.” He fake chuckled as he rolled his eyes. “I’m going for hockey remember?”
“So the nice girls aren’t a bonus?” He could see that Amie could be quick on her feet, but he could too.
“Oh they’re a bonus, but they don’t matter anyway.” He was sure this setup would reel her in.
“No?” Amie clearly needed an explanation.
“Nope, my gorgeous pregnant girlfriend is going to be there with me.” He couldn’t stop the laughter from creeping into his voice as he watched her trying to contain her own. “I won’t have time for nice girls in Karlskrona between hockey and taking care of her and our son.”
“Oh my God please stop!” She buried her face in her arms folded on the back of the bench as Elias joined her in her giggle fit. Somehow Amie had almost forgotten that he lied to the scout about her staying in the apartment with him so they could have a bigger place for their growing faux-family. It made Amie laugh back then, and it was still equally hilarious now. She never would have pegged Elias as a jokester but she liked that side of him and she knew she wouldn’t get to see that as much if he left Oskarshamn.
“For real though.” Once she collected herself again she propped her head up on her arm to look at him once again. “Are you really going to go and stay all the way out there?”
“Are you really not coming with me?” He asked in return.
“Elias I’m serious.”
“And I’m not?” This change in his tone threw Amie for a bit of a loop. “I know I said it like I was messing around but if you want to you could come too. I really don’t mind.”
Amie believed him and that actually scared her. She already knew she had slowly blossoming feelings for Elias, she couldn’t just go live with him, could she? No, of course not, that would just open up a whole new set of problems. This was not debatable, she would be staying in Oskarshamn.
“You’re thinking about it,” Elias interrupted her thought processes with half a smirk on his face.
“I am not,” Amie declared, “I was just thinking about how I definitely cannot go with you. Elias if you’re leaving to get away from the Eagles and family stuff then it’s probably best for you to have your own space first before inviting roommates in. At least for a little bit.”
“Amie everybody needs company. Don’t you need space too? I’m not asking you to marry me.” Elias saw Amie’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he thought that he may have gone a bit too far. “Come to Karlskrona, see if you like it and if you don’t, I will personally bring you back to Oskarshamn.”
“Elias … I’m not trying to stop you from doing anything when I say this but Felicia needs you here.” She reached out and grabbed his hand before continuing. “She loves you and whether you think so or not you help her a lot. Not only that but you seem to be actually getting along better with everyone on the team and you’re making friends with the guys. I just feel like no one ever saw you outside of the rink but now I see you around school talking to people, smiling and looking like you enjoy being around everyone. I know I don’t know everything but it’s been a really nice change to see you like that. I’m not saying you won’t be happy in Karlskrona, I just think you could be happy here too.”
Elias gave Amie a sad smile as he laced his fingers between hers and gave her hand a small squeeze. She was entirely too sweet, he couldn’t even imagine what possessed her to hurt Felicia as badly as she did but he had full faith that she could fix it. In this moment he wanted to tell her everything, he wanted to explain why he needed to be free of Oskarshamn and the Eagles and his father. He knew Felicia needed him and he knew his mother did too but it was time for him to do something for himself for once, for his own sanity. Elias had been striving to be the perfect child his entire life and helping everyone else with their problems and now it was time for him to escape from his own. The more he talked to Amie about it the more he wanted to take her with him, but he felt like he’d shocked her enough for one morning so he’d leave it alone for now.
“I am only playing for the Eagles because it is what my father wanted, Amie. Leaving would mean I’m doing something for myself for the first time in probably my entire life. I get that that might not sound great or make sense but at this point it’s what I need to do.” Elias thought that was enough explanation without getting into too much detail. He watched her eyes drift down to their entwined hands and as he gently rocked them back and forth he felt a soft flutter in his stomach as a soft smile graced her face.
“I guess I can understand that,” she said, “so if that’s the case I want you to go to Karlskrona and see if you like it for yourself. I truly hope that you do, and if you decide that you do then you have to play a role, a big role, in winning every hockey game the team lets you play in, okay? Plus you should still send me snaps and make sure you keep up with Felicia.”
“I think I can manage that.” He chuckled as he looked down at their hands then back up at her. “Anything else ma’am?”
“Haha.” This time she rolled her eyes and huffed, but she seemed to be genuinely considering what he’d asked. “Just … if you’re not happy there then come back alright?”
“Amie.” His face told her she was asking for too much, but her face told him she was serious and he better take her seriously. Elias decided a compromise was in order. “If I’m not happy I will tell you, even if I don’t come back. I might go somewhere else or come back, I won’t promise which because I’m not psychic, but when I know you’ll know okay?”
“Okay,” Amie agreed that this seemed reasonable enough.
“My turn now?” Elias asked. “You told me what you wanted for me, it’s only fair.”
“Fine.” She was interested to hear what he had to say.
“I want you to remember that you are not a bad person, you just had a bad moment. I want you and Felicia to talk even if everything doesn’t go back to normal, and you need to forgive yourself so that you can live again okay?” Whether Amie wanted to hear this or not he knew that she probably should, and hopefully it’d stick with her at least a bit.
“That’s not entirely up to me Elias.” She could see him starting to frown and it made her feel bad but she really wasn’t sure if this was a promise she could make. She figured she could compromise though. “I guess I could try though.”
“That’s good enough for me then, one more thing though.”
“Yes sir?” Amie cocked her head to the side a little, wondering what on earth he was about to ask for now.
“Whenever you come sing in Karlskrona y-”
“If I ever come to sing in Karlskrona,” Amie interrupted, holding her pointer finger up to correct his overly optimistic statement. He immediately swept that opposing finger away and persisted.
“When you come to sing in Karlskrona, you can stay with me, no hotel necessary. You already said the view is amazing so you might as well.” This boy had determination in spades it seemed, and Amie would have to find a way to save the two of them from themselves.
“I will possibly only stay as long as it’s not game night for you,” she offered, figuring that would be enough for him.
“Even if it is game night, I don’t care.” He had his eyes locked on hers, and even though he was wearing a playful smile, that laser focus of his was doing something to her insides. “We do have appearances to keep up after all.”
Amie huffed out a laugh, she couldn’t believe he was trying to use this joke on her again. Even though it was effective, you couldn’t use the same joke to finesse twice in one conversation right? She had to make him realize she was doing this for his own good.
“Mr. Kroon, I think you’re going to have to find another pregnant girlfriend to furnish your apartment.” She couldn’t keep the smile off her face but she hoped that he understood what she was saying.
“I don’t think I can find another Amie Sammuelson in Karlskrona.” Against his better judgement, he began slowly leaning toward her.
“There are other pretty girls in Karlskrona Elias, I’m sure they’ll find you and show you that.” She tried once more to bring him back to reality, praying that she was getting through to him.
“Maybe, but none of them are you Amie.” Elias was still slowly leaning in toward Amie and as she was caught up in the allure of his blue eyes, she found herself drifting toward him as well.
It seemed like they were both moving in slow motion as their faces were gradually getting closer, and though Amie would have been more than happy to let this moment play out, she couldn’t help but think: Do I deserve this? Her life was currently a mess, and Elias would be leaving soon, where on earth would she end up mentally if she let this happen? Did Elias really even like her or was this just a beautiful, highly desirable moment spurred on by their heart to heart? Amie couldn’t stop her mind from spiraling and she knew now was not the time for this. As their foreheads gently bumped together she brought a hand to his chest, firmly planting it there so he’d know to stop. Elias immediately backed up and fully opened his eyes again, assessing Amie to make sure she was okay even though she was biting her lip and avoiding his eyes. Finally she looked back up at him.
“I have to go … but thank you for talking to me.” She stood and walked back over to her bike. “I really do feel better.”
“Anytime.” Elias was sure Amie could see the blush he felt on his cheeks as he smiled at her, but he didn’t care. As long as she knew it was for her that was fine by him. “You can talk to me anytime.”
“Thanks Elias.” She climbed onto her bike and paused before speaking again. “I really hope everything works out for you out there.”
“Thanks Amie, I hope things work out for you too.” He also hoped Amie felt the sincerity in his words. Elias saw the bashful smile that Amie was wearing and trying to hide from him, and he could only wonder what on earth had her so giddy.
“See you around daddy.” She rubbed her faux-baby bump with a giggle before she began pedaling down the road again.
“See you mama.” He couldn’t help but laugh as he waved her off. She used his own shenanigans against him, and God he loved it. Elias understood that no means no, but he did truly believe they both wanted that kiss. He was hoping that it was just postponed and not put on hold entirely, and maybe when Amie felt like she was in a better place they could revisit that moment.
Little did Elias know, Amie was hoping for the same exact scenario, a moment that they could live in uninhibited and walk away from it feeling completely fulfilled. Once Amie Sammuelson Condé got her life together, she’d be sure to rock Elias Kroon’s world in a way he’d never forget.