Chapter Text
The day Zenitsu came back from camp was the day he fell apart. He had never been good at controlling his emotions, everything he felt, negative or positive was expressed. Tears easily sprang to his eyes and when he cried, he wailed. He couldn’t help it. It was like he was a kettle, ready to burst.
Math camp had been brutal, as it always was. When he was ten, his Gramps discovered he had a talent for numbers, (it’s in our blood!, he said, which Zenitsu thought was dumb considering he was adopted. ) So every summer since then, Zenitsu would face hell for two weeks. He hated it with a passion but this time, it saved him.
The camp counselors were known to be sadistic in their practices, and his last year was no exception. They believed that rigorous physical exercise alongside would help them remember all the mathematical concepts and equations.
All it did was make Zenitsu want to vomit. Every year he whined and complained about going, but it made Gramps happy so he kept going. This year it kept him busy, distracted.
He was too tired to unscramble his brain from the math and the way his body was too sore to move to think about anything else.
When the camp was finally over, he sank into the bus seat, ready to sleep through the entire trip. But then the counselors gave them back their phones. Zenitsu mindlessly clicked it on to text his Gramps about when to pick him up but the second he saw his screensaver he burst into tears as everything he tried so hard to shove down came back.
It’s been two weeks of camp, two weeks of grueling math lessons, two weeks of running ragged and collapsing into his bed every night, and two weeks since the breakup.
He must’ve been a sight on that bus, not caring that he was bothering anyone as he cried and cried, clutching his phone tightly. He didn’t stop until someone sitting behind him snapped and grabbed his phone, forcibly resetting it to factory settings before flinging it back to him.
He was so shocked that it shut him up for the rest of the ride, taking to stare out the window, thumbing his now blank phone.
Without having any way to contact Gramps, he walked the rest of the way home.
When he unlocked the door, Gramps was waiting for him, his arms crossed. No doubt furious at how late he was. The second Zenitsu saw him however, he dropped his bags, running over to embrace him, draping himself over the old man as he wordlessly demanded to be comforted.
Gramps at first, didn’t ask what Zenitsu’s problem was, chalking it up to his typical emotional outbursts, he patted him on the back, expecting to let go but Zenitsu clung on tightly. Then he told him, through sobs what was the matter. He felt Gramps stiffen before the hug was returned tenfold.
The days of summer vacation bled together after that. Zenitsu’s mind felt numb as his thoughts circled back to him over and over again. Gramps tried shaking him out of it, telling him to focus on the upcoming school year and to practice his instruments. But Zenitsu couldn’t do it. No amount of being bopped on the head or chewed out could make him leave the cocoon of blankets he wrapped around himself at all times of the day.
Every day he got scolded and every day he ignored Gramps, until one day in the middle of the night Gramps stumbled in on him sitting inches away from the TV as he re-watched the same cheesy played out rom-com he had on loop.
They stared at each other in the darkened room. The movie was at Zenitsu’s favorite part, the girl ran out of the dance, the boy swiftly after her, about to confess his feelings. He was in the middle of mouthing the words with the actors when Gramps came in.
After an uncomfortable amount of staring, Gramps just sighed and walked out of the room, saying nothing.
It wasn’t until Zenitsu got up again to reheat a frozen burrito did he bother to check the time. The microwave blinked 5:30 back at him. He used to have to wake up at this time. Silently he thanked Gramps for dealing with his mopey self, making sure to keep the tv volume low at night.
Kaigaku however, was less accommodating.
Zenitsu was not exactly one to “suffer in silence”. It just felt better to wail out his woes until he exhausted himself to sleep.
It was during one of these times that the door to his room flung open with a harsh bang. Zenitsu unstuck his snotty face from the pillow to see Kaigaku, seething at his doorframe. The second they made eye contact Kaigaku lunged.
Zenitsu twisted around, hands flailing uselessly as Kaigaku shoved the snotty pillow over his face.
“SHUT UP!” he yelled repeatedly over Zenitsu’s muffled screams. Zenitsu’s kicks and screams were useless against Kaigaku’s rage. As Zenitsu started to lose consciousness Gramps came in, yelling at both of them, and only then did Kaigaku let up, storming to a different part of the apartment.
After that, Zenitsu thought it best to keep the noise to a minimum— at least while Kaigaku was in the house.
The first week will be the hardest.
Kaigaku’s words echoed in his head as he stood in front of the school. He told him that just a week ago, right before he left for university. Zenitsu had been lying facedown on the couch, his usual spot when he wasn’t lying facedown on his bed. He was cocooned in blankets but with his hearing he heard the words clear as day. He looked up to see Kaigaku, one foot out the door and a grimace on his face as he looked at Zenitsu. But before Zenitsu could process what Kaigaku said to him, he was gone, slamming the door on its hinges.
He wanted to think it was said out of brotherly affection. Kaigaku’s own way of looking out for him. Kaigaku was like Gramps in that way, neither were very openly affectionate. He had to learn to read in between the lines with them. But he knew better, it was a warning.
Kaigaku’s intentions rang loudly in his head, “You think it feels bad now? Just wait until school starts.”
After Kaigaku disappeared out the door, Zenitsu had slowly untangled himself from the mess of blankets and pillows he kept on the couch. The rest of the week leading up to school he spent working, spending hours drawing up possible path plans and escape routes, all to avoid being in the same room as him.
His heart panged at the mere thought of him. He knew the other’s schedule, they compared them together not even a week before the breakup. The disappointment he had originally felt was now replaced with relief.
After all, having no classes together made this much easier.
It was his final year of high school. It was too late to make new friends, and he couldn’t ask the friends they shared to choose between them. He couldn’t do that, nor could he face the inevitable rejection from them.
He isn’t proud of it, but he can’t face them, or anyone. He just can’t.
Gramps told him once that he was strong, thunking him over the head gently as he did. All he needed to do was apply himself.
He so badly wanted to believe Gramps was right about him.
He will be strong. He’ll prove that he doesn’t need to rely on him for comfort or friends. He’ll prove that’s he’s not as desperate and clingy as everyone thinks. He can be on his own.
Zenitsu took a deep breath, gathering his courage. It was still early, the sun was just over the horizon. Normally, the morality officer would be arriving by now, ready to start uniform checks.
Or he would, if he didn’t quit a few minutes ago.
He could be strong, he’ll prove it to Gramps. But…
After one more year of being a coward. That’s all.
Then it’s off to university and a new Zenitsu. High school will be just a bad memory then. All he has to do now is stay out of trouble and get that music scholarship. All while avoiding him.
He took another deep breath and headed inside.
One more year.