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Nayeon’s hair smells like the shampoo she bought last week, and Jeongyeon buries her nose in it one last time before pressing her lips to the top of her girlfriend’s head.
“You’re in a loving mood today.” Nayeon says, looking up from her phone with a hum as Jeongyeon settles next to her at the kitchen table, leaning in to steal a good morning kiss.
Nayeon narrows her eyes at her.
“What?” Jeongyeon asks.
“What do you want?” Nayeon asks suspiciously.
Jeongyeon chuckles and grabs the muesli from the table. “Nothing.”
“Sure.” Nayeon raises an eyebrow at her. “Sure..”
“Really.” Jeongyeon holds up her hands in defense. Nayeon just clicks her tongue and looks into her phone.
“Chaeyoung will be here in fifteen minutes to do your make-up.” Nayeon notes, clearly looking through the itenary.
“Sure, I’ll hurry then.” Jeongyeon nods and grabs the box of muesli, listening for the sound of paws that usually follows. It comes almost immediately, the little white furball of a puppy, appropriately named Cloud, dashing across the hardwood floors until it comes to a skidding sliding halt in front of Jeongyeon’s chair, sitting down but tongue out panting and eyes eagerly on her master.
Jeongyeon grabs a small handful of muesli from the cereal box and reaches down to Cloud, opening her hand to let the puppy eat out of her hand watching how her ears wriggle when she chews.
“See this is why he’s badly behaved.” Nayeon notes with a little tut, grabbing the milk for Jeongyeon before she can even ask for it.
“He’s not badly behaved.” Jeongyeon gasps theatrically. “He’s just particular. Has a big personality.”
“He’s picky and he’s a brat.” Nayeon argues in complete contrast to how she calls the dog over just to pick him up into her lap.
Jeongyeon shoots her an amused look.
“What?” Nayeon asks.
“Nothing… Nothing.” Jeongyeon shrugs, and leans over for another kiss, longer this time. Cloud shifts a little in Nayeon’s lap.
“You really are up to something.” Nayeon says. Then she scratches over the dog’s head and ruffles its fur a little. “Want to know what momma is up to today, huh Cloud? Do you wanna corner her?”
“You’re teaming up with the dog?” Jeongyeon asks, now pouring milk over her muesli before digging into it. It’s a seldom treat - getting to eat the sweet cereal in the morning, and she doesn’t eat a lot, knowing people will be photographing her. But a little bit is okay, and her manager really doesn’t seem to mind.
“Are you going in the outfit Mina brought?” Said manager asks.
“Sure. It’s what I’m paid for, isn’t it?” Jeongyeon shrugs.
“True.” Nayeon nods. “I’ll make sure we get pictures for the company.”
“Do I get to keep this one?”
“Nope.” Nayeon says, one hand on Cloud’s back and the other around her phone, scrolling through it. “But your endorsement with On Black came through, and you can choose a selection of everyday items to keep.”
“Oh, nice.” Jeongyeon says, taking a spoonful of cereal and watching Cloud’s attentive begging eyes. It wants more, but it shouldn’t have cereal at all really. It’s just that it’s easier for Jeongyeon to treat herself if she has the excuse of treating Cloud.
“We have a meeting with them friday.”
“Good.” Jeongyeon nods. “By the way, I have a surprise for you.”
“Huh?” Nayeon looks up from her phone.
“I got us tickets for the concert you really wanted to go to.” Jeongyeon grins. “IU. For both of us.”
“Are you serious?” Nayeon gapes, shifting enough in her seat that Cloud has to adjust. It lays down in protest, as if it suddenly weighs enough to make Nayeon stop moving.
“Of course.”
“Wait - you and me? Going together?” Nayeon suddenly looks apprehensive.
“Nayeon. You’re my manager. There’s nothing wrong with me going to a concert and bringing my manager.” Jeongyeon tries, reaching over to hold a hand over Nayeon’s. “But if you’d rather go with Mina or-”
“No.” Nayeon shakes her head, then reaches for Jeongyeon so fast that Cloud has to hop off her lap. She holds Jeongyeon’s head between her hands. “No, I want to go with you.”
Jeongyeon smiles and puts down the spoon to avoid any cereal related incidents. “You’re always so dramatic, miss Im.”
“I’m the right level of dramatic.” Nayeon presses her forehead to Jeongyeon. “I had to be to get here.”
Jeongyeon pecks her girlfriend, her manager, her best friend since they were ten, her lover they were sixteen and seventeen respectively, walking hand in hand to the same training studio. Until the day they were given a choice.
Be together or debut together.
“Was it worth it?” Jeongyeon asks.
Nayeon knows immediately what Jeongyeon refers to. And she nods fiercely against Jeongyeon’s forehead, their noses bumping from the close proximity.
“Always.”
Jeongyeon puts a hand over Nayeon’s and caresses it with her thumb. “Then let’s keep being dramatic.”
“Okay.” Nayeon pulls back, eyes flickering between Jeongyeon’s, with a stubborn decisiveness shining from them. “Okay.”
Jeongyeon turns back to her cereal, enjoying the last few spoonfuls. She’ll have another meal when she gets past security, but the habits of idol life still sticks with her.
Nayeon gets up from her seat, probably to find Jeongyeon’s passport and ticket. She always likes to be prepared. Jeongyeon grabs her by the hand before she can get very far.
“Hey,” Jeongyeon tugs at her hand. “I hope you know how much I love you.”
Nayeon’s mouth opens and then closes. “Okay seriously, what are you up to? I thought it was the tickets but there’s something else, isn’t there?”
Jeongyeon shakes her head. It’s a lie. But she doesn’t want Nayeon to know how nervous she is. It’s just dumb rumours once more but she’s nervous about who might show up at the airport. If they will be there because they love her or if they will be asking her questions. But as long as Nayeon is there it’ll be okay.
They’ve been through enough that Jeongyeon knows no matter what, they’ll always have each other.
Nayeon’s eyes search Jeongyeon’s face one last time. Then she smiles softly. “I love you too. But you have to let go unless you want Chaeyoung to walk in on me macking on you. Because that will be the result if you keep holding on like that. And I think she’ll be mad if she has to cover hickeys.”
Jeongyeon chuckles, for a moment considering tugging at Nayeon’s hand once more. The idea of Nayeon’s lips on hers for an eternity doesn’t sound too bad. But she knows Nayeon is right, that Chaeyoung will whine and complain. So she lets go of Nayeon for the time being. She evens out by looking after Nayeon as she walks into Jeongyeon’s bedroom. Their bedroom. But officially Jeongyeon’s.
It’s not an ideal life. It’s not open. It’s not worriless. It’s not free. But they’ve learned long ago that come what may, they’re happier together than apart. And as long as the public wants Jeongyeon, and Nayeon does too, she’ll happily live a double life. She’s living for Nayeon’s sacrifice. Because Nayeon chose them over her career. And though Jeongyeon thought she’d never quite forgive Nayeon for it, she can’t deny how much she loves this life they have now.
“Cloud!” Nayeon calls from the bedroom, and Jeongyeon hears once more the sound of paws against the hardwood floor as the fur ball comes dashing behind Jeongyeon into the bedroom.
“You taking him over to Jihyo’s?” Jeongyeon asks loudly, angling her head in the direction of the bedroom.
“Yeap.” Nayeon says, emerging with Cloud in her arms and a leash hanging over her arm. “I’ll be back in half an hour. I’ll just walk there, the weather is so nice.”
“Okay.” Jeongyeon nods, kissing both the girlfriend and the dog goodbye as soon as they’re within reach.
“So many kisses, miss Yoo.” Nayeon says, stealing one more before she heads out.
Nayeon doesn’t point out that Jeongyeon wants something. Because it’s obvious by now what she wants. She wants Nayeon. Wants her presence, her comfort, her hand to hold when she’s nervous. Her laughter and her quick wit. She wants to know Nayeon is still there, even if the media’s speak of another lover. It’s just a play. But Nayeon doesn’t seem to care.
Jeongyeon knows when they get to the airport, Nayeon will hold her hand the entire time. She knows that the media will tell of the close friendship between idol and actress Yoo Jeongyeon with her manager and ex trainee. And Jeongyeon will kiss her manager in the hotel room tonight, and they’ll facetime with their best friend and their dog and Nayeon will sing in the shower.
It might not be a perfect life. But at the end of the road, it’s theirs. And they’re working hard to make it the best one.