Chapter Text
The walk back to their apartment that they shared for three years feel heavier and difficult than before. Jungkook looks up to Woo Shik, trying to see any emotions behind those light brown eyes but they look empty. Nothing like he had seen before since they had started dating.
His boyfriend has always look like he gets it together. He had never seen a more self-assured man in his life. His confidence has what made Jungkook swoon in the first place because although Jungkook is talented in any field he is interested in, he lacks in confidence and faith in himself and being with Woo Shik has helped him a lot in that field. The elder always cheer for him, give him good advices and is always there for him whenever he needed someone. Woo Shik always know the right thing to say…
And that’s why seeing Woo Shik out of character scares the shit out of Jungkook. Jungkook’s hand feels clampy due to the sweat. He feels nervous, more nervous than he did when he sat for the college entrance exam a few years ago. His head is all over the place, thinking of what to say to break the awful silence. He has never gone through this before. He even researched a bit on ‘coming out to your parents and what to say to your partner’ on Naver and yet his mind is blank.
Woo Shik opens the door to their apartment and Jungkook’s heart is beating so quickly, he could almost hear it and he’s afraid of his boyfriend hearing it too.
‘You can do it. You can do it. He’s your boyfriend for god’s sake! Why are you so nervous for?’ Jungkook psyched himself up.
“Well, that didn’t go well”, Jungkook finally says as he closes the door behind them. “Although I do expect your mother would throw her teacup at me or something”, he says nervously.
Woo Shik stares at the empty space, as if he’s reluctant to meet the younger’s eyes. Jungkook is scared shitless, and he didn’t know why. It feels like the person who is standing in front of him, the one with sad eyes is a completely different person and it just makes Jungkook feel terrified but at the same time feel sorry for him. This is a new side of Woo Shik he never sees before.
His boyfriend shrugs, then shook his head. “I’m sorry. I already expect their reactions would be like that. I mean, knowing that all this time my roommate is my boyfriend of three years would made them lose it”, he says, in a light tone.
Jungkook nods. It’s understandable. It is a big step for them, They have been a relationship for three years and today, it is their first time confessing that they are together and for Jungkook to being there for his boyfriend to come out of the closet. Their reactions are expected. There are lots of screaming, his mother smashed what was once her precious ceramics and a lot of ‘how dare you’s’ and 'how could you do this to me's'.
Jungkook shouldn’t doubt him. He trusts him. "It's fine. We did it, hyung. You did it", he says encouragingly, trying to cheer up his boyfriend. Jungkook caresses the elder's cheeks, in which he leans in to the touch.
Woo Shik smiles grimly. “I don’t understand why I need to comply to them when it comes to someone I love.”
Jungkook smiles, then pulls his boyfriend into a hug. “We can go through this, okay? You have me. I love you Woo Shik.”
His boyfriend smiles, then gives a peck on the younger’s forehead, making him blush. “You’re so cute, Jungkookie”, he coos and pulls the younger’s ears which reddens from embarrassment.
“I love you too.”
Jungkook sighs and proceeds to wrap his arms on the elder’s larger figure and snuggles onto his chest. Those four words are enough to calm him down. He feels reassured. This is nothing. They had been together since Jungkook was a freshman in their college. They had gone through worse things throughout the three years they have been together. Jungkook is determined and he intends to prove to Woo Shik's parents that their love conquers all.
Though, Jungkook did expected that his parents to be like that since Woo Shik explained that his parents are… traditional and they would most likely think that having a boyfriend is just a phase. It just weirded Jungkook how the bubbly and talkative Woo Shik would be quite and serious after meeting his parents. At least they didn't throw anything at him, but still, the slurs that they throw at them lingers in his mind. Jungkook didn't understand. Woo Shik is still their son regardless of who he loves, so why does he being in love with a man changes everything and a disappointment to them?
Do we live for our parents or do we live for ourselves and for our own happiness?
Woo Shik then pulls away and presses his lips onto Jungkook’s. The way he kisses so gently and how he holds Jungkook closer to him as possible made Jungkook feel like he is enough, and all of his anxious thoughts disappear. The elder loves him, he knows it. He knows from the way Woo Shik trail kisses from the corner of his lips to his neck. He knows from the way Woo Shik’s breathes heavily when his hands move slowly to Jungkook’s behind and squeeze them.
He knows his boyfriend loves him from the way he makes love to him.
He knows.
He knows.
the next day, 10 a.m.
Jungkook wakes up, reaching his hand out to the other side of his bed to pull Woo Shik closer, if that is possible but he reaches out to an empty space instead. He gets up frantically, his eyes widen. There is no familiar smell of the coffee Woo Shik always brew every morning. The only lingering scent he could smell is the smell of Woo Shik’s perfume, a very faint smell of vanilla.
This is out of character for his boyfriend, and so panic ensues for Jungkook.
“No no no no”, Jungkook says, tears in his eyes. He immediately gets up from his bed and goes out to the kitchen, hoping to see a familiar figure cooking eggs for the younger but he sees nothing. Jungkook panics and immediately goes to his closet, muttering prayers that maybe Woo Shik went out to buy groceries or something, but the only clothes left are his and his… boyfriend’s side is completely empty.
Jungkook’s whole body starts to shake and his cheeks is dampening with his tears. He slowly walks out of the room and goes towards the bathroom. As expected, only his toothbrush remains there with Jungkook’s other toiletries.
Jungkook starts to breathe fast, feels like there are needles inside of his throat. He feels like he couldn’t breathe. He isn’t so sure the right response to this situation. Should he track the elder down and give him a piece of his mind? Should he drag Woo Shik back to the apartment? Should he call and spam the elder with texts? Should Jungkook just drink his problems away?
Jungkook opens his bedroom door and his eyes scan the room desperately. He feels like his heart has just been ripped out of his chest. His eyes then caught a yellow Post-It note on the fridge. Usually Woo Shik would paste it there, to tell Jungkook he’s out earlier than he’s supposed to because of work. Jungkook tries to reassure himself but finds no excuse whatsoever for why Woo Shik left all of the sudden.
Even though it’s hopeless, he keeps reassuring himself that it is all okay, that Woo Shik would return soon with those fluffy Japanese souffle pancakes that Jungkook loves from a café nearby. And yet, his feet are glued to the ground, afraid of the actual contents of the note. He’d rather live a life knowing Woo Shik would come soon to his arms rather than a world without the elder. He didn’t know how to live without him.
He needs to know though. Why Woo Shik left, all of the sudden, leaving no traces behind. Jungkook gulps, then take a few steps to the fridge. Each step closer to the fridge feels heavy and it is suffocating to him. T
“i’m sorry – KWS”
Jungkook’s hands balls into a fist tightly but his eyes brimmed with tears. He pulls away the note, crumples it up and throw it away in anger.
‘He left me’, Jungkook thought, feeling betrayed that Woo Shik would just leave without a trace and just leaving behind a Post-It note on the fridge. Jungkook had a feeling that Woo Shik would be affected since he valued his parent’s opinion so much, but he couldn’t imagine that the elder would just left as if their relationship meant nothing, as if their 3 year relationship was just a fling all along.
Jungkook fell in love for the first time with Woo Shik. He only knows how to love Woo Shik, through all the good and bad. He didn’t know how to love someone else. He thinks it’s impossible to give his heart again to someone new.
Jungkook sinks to the cold wooden floor, finally letting out tears.
His worst nightmare has finally come true.