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Another battle, over. Another aftermath just beginning. Cody heaved a sigh of…not relief. Exhaustion maybe. So many troopers, so many vode, gone. Dead.
And once again, there was Cody. Alive. Breathing. Breathing in the air that likely contained all that remained of his brothers from the first wave. Dust. They were dust.
He knelt and grabbed a handful of that dust, letting it sift through the fingers of his glove.
The proton bombs had come out of nowhere yesterday, lighting up the battlefield. They had no time to prepare, no time to call for a retreat. They were just gone.
But not Cody. Sometimes it seemed like it would never be his turn. Like he would never die, cursed to live in this wasteland of a half-life for eternity. Fighting for a war he did not start, working toward a cause he wasn’t sure he agreed with. He put his hands to his bucket, allowing himself this moment of weakness, this second for sorrow, knowing that soon his vode, the living ones, would need him.
Cody rose and brushed off his hands, noting the dust that stubbornly clung to his blacks. He would need to give them a thorough cleaning when they established a fully functioning camp.
They had been here for such a short time, barely a day and most of that was spent fighting. It was a battle hard-won. A lucky hit shut down power to the droid army and they managed to clear the field. But at what cost?
Cody hadn’t lost so many brothers in one day since Geonosis.
Making his way back from the far reach of the devastation, Cody kept an eye on everything that moved, and everything that didn’t. Never again would this planet catch him by surprise.
Cody nodded to the shinies-no, not shinies anymore. Not after that, that. The troopers saluted as he passed them, seeming to find comfort in the familiarity of rank and position. He stopped before passing fully by them.
“Make sure you see to any injuries, large or small, in one of the med tents. I’m not losing any more brothers today,” His voice rang clear through his helmet, a balance of soft notes of concern with the sharp notes of command.
“Sir, yes sir!” They replied. Cody gave them another nod and continued on.
He passed brothers gathering salvageable munitions, brothers resting, brothers quietly consoling each other. But he did not see the one person he needed to see the most.
After searching the med tents, command booth, mess area and ships, Cody was almost at a loss. There was one more place he could check…
Cody searched for the highest pillar. He turned methodically, shielding his eyes from the glare of the sun.
While he searched, he heard two pairs of footsteps approaching him.
“You know, you could just comm him, sir,” Waxer's voice teased. “He’s not exactly capable of ignoring you.”
“Yeah, unless he’s sleep deprived, or starving himself, or hur-oof!” Boil was cut of by a hearty elbow to the stomach by his brother.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cody murmured. “I’m simply keeping a look out for threats.”
“Threats to your peace of mind maybe!”
“You guys aren’t exactly subtle, commander.”
“There’s a difference between an overactive rumour mill and a blatant parading around,” Cody sighed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a location to scout.”
“Yeah!” Waxer whistled.
“We’ll make sure everyone knows not to intrude, brother.” Boil saluted.
Cody didn’t dignify that with a response.
He set off towards the most likely candidate and sent out a thought.
If you can sense me, general, I’m coming.
~
After far too long of a hike, Cody reached the top of the cone-shaped pillar. From here their hastily assembled camp looked like nothing more than an anthill. Insignificant, not even a blot on a map.
He turned to the cave and felt that he was in the right place. Not felt with the force but felt with his heart. The space around his general always felt different than other air. Cody could breathe it easier.
He ducked inside and searched with his eyes, immediately relaxing when he saw his general deep in meditation.
Obi-Wan was wearing only his inner tunic and pants, his belt and outer robes folded to the side. His face was completely open, his hair hanging down.
He balanced on one hand while suspending several large rocks with the force. Obi-Wan hadn’t been in this deep of a trance for several weeks, they haven’t had time for the general to eat, let alone rest. The most Cody could get him to do was nap these days.
Cody was glad they were allotted leave time after this battle. Soon they would be heading to Naboo, but for now they were holding the area while the more permanent clean up crew arrived.
Cody took a deep breath and took off his bucket, tossing it into the space Obi-Wan created between the other floating items. Of course, he could feel Cody arrive. He didn’t need to say a word.
So he didn’t.
He sat on the soft ground, letting go of the tension in his muscles one by one until his body was as relaxed as it could be. Only the could he start working on his mind.
Grief, regret, guilt. All these emotions raged inside him for dominance. His brows knit together, sweat built up on his forehead. He felt a whisper of presence in his mind.
Obi-Wan, wanting to help him. He let his general inside his mind, gladly opening his heart and soul to his partner.
As Obi-Wan caressed Cody’s broken mind, he lifted his beloved into the air, encouraging him to find peace and trust in this moment.
After so many battles, so many losses, Cody had practically perfected the art of letting go. But this battle felt different. It was a slaughter.
He allowed his Jedi to help him let go of his guilt first. He had done everything he could. Cody could not have done more to save them. He acted on the information he was given, and he acted well. The deaths of his brothers were not his fault.
Next, they let go of his regret. He wished he hadn’t led his men into battle here. They lost so much, and what did they gain? His general suggested images of the schools they protected, the children who would survive because of their efforts. His brothers gave their lives to protect the most sacred thing in the galaxy-hope for the future.
His grief was set deeper than they could fix, but then that has always been the case. Cody felt his pain resonate with Obi-Wan, knew that his general carried the same burden inside him. He also knew their grief would only continue to grow with the coming weeks, and months, and years.
The two men remained connected for a long time, each providing the other with comfort and strength beyond what anyone else could do for them. Moments, like this, moments where they could completely let their guard down, were becoming more and more scarce.
Too soon he felt himself being lowered to the ground. He opened his eyes and saw that the harsh glare of midday had turned into the mellow tones of evening.
First Cody was lovingly set on his feet. Next, his helmet floated over and landed beside the general`s belongings. The rocks followed, each coming to rest along the walls.
Finally, Obi-Wan swung his legs down and stood up, slowly blinking open his deep blue eyes.
Cody took a step forward and pulled his Jedi into a warm embrace. Obi-Wan tucked his head below Cody`s chin and nuzzled closer to his chest. Cody`s arms tightened around his Jedi, who seemed smaller without the infinite layers of robes covering his body.
Cody gently set his cheek against Obi-Wan`s head. One hand came up to caress his feather light hair, the other continued rubbing soothing circles on his back.
Obi-Wan let out a sigh of contentment and melted into his commander.
Cody turned them towards the entrance of the cave, and together they watched the sun go down on another foreign planet.