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Asami doesn't sleep in the dark.
At first, when he took me to his rooms and the lights by his bed were on, I thought it was so he could see me as we fucked. He'd keep me there until dawn, not letting me sleep.
But as we continued to see each other and I spent more time at his apartment, he would sometimes fall asleep himself, never bothering to turn his table lamps off. I always thought it was because he was too tired to reach for the switch.
The lights bothered me but I was afraid to turn them off. Afraid that he might wake up and demand more of me. Afraid that he might send me away. I left them on and tried to rest, but could not.
As I grew more comfortable with him, my fears faded. So one night after he fell asleep, I switched the lights off and lay down beside him. I fell asleep instantly.
I was awakened by the movement of the bed. He was tossing about, shoving at the covers, mumbling. I reached out to wake him up from his nightmare, and at my touch his eyes shot open. Open but not seeing. Because of the dark.
His strong arms wrenched me from the bed and threw me into the wall. I crouched there in pain, stunned, terrified, unwilling to move.
The bed covers rustled as his dark silhouette sat up. I could hear him sucking in air, trying to breath. He fumbled for the lamp's switch. A glass left on the nightstand shattered as his hand accidentally knocked it to the floor.
A soft light flooded the room. He sat for a second, staring at nothing, then he stiffly got up and stalked to the bathroom. I heard him turn on the shower, and then soon after I heard the sound of water hitting his body.
I sat for a moment longer until my breathing slowed. The broken glass glittered in the light. I slowly got up, my body aching where it had hit the wall. I picked up the shards from the floor and carried them to the trash in the kitchen, then cautiously padded back into the bedroom to collect my clothes and go.
He was waiting for me, hair damp, towel around his waist. He threw me to the bed and crouched over me, just staring with wild, inhuman eyes, as if deciding how best to slaughter me. A beast toying with his prey. I couldn't move or speak. I'd never seen him like this. I wasn't even sure he recognized me. For once my bravado failed and my eyes were afraid to meet his.
He lay one hand upon my chest, pressing me into the bed, eyes never leaving my face. It hurt, where his hand pressed. It felt like the heavy paw of a jungle cat pinning me to the bed. His other hand grasped my throat and tightened, nails biting my skin. I could only breathe with difficulty.
His voice rasped, an animal trying to form human words. "Never again. Do you understand? If it happens again, I'll kill you."
I nodded, with difficulty. He stared another minute. His hand loosened. His eyes calmed and hardened, implacable, unreachable.
He fucked me until I fell unconscious. The last thing I saw as my vision faded was the light coming in around his drapes as the sun rose.
I still spend nights with him. Even if I had a choice I would. But he always sleeps with the lights on.
Me, I don't get any sleep at all.
~end~