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“Don’t get her flowers.” Jeonghan looked out of the car window at the small local flower shop that they were parked in front of. It had a white simple awning with distressed wooden panels lining the exterior wall. Colorful flowers were displayed all around the entrance luring any passerbyers with its vibrancy and sweet scents.
Seungcheol had asked Jeonghan to come out with him to pick out a present for his sister-in-law who had just given birth. The younger man only agreed because he absolutely adored his best friend’s sister-in-law, and he also knew that Seungcheol was the worst at picking out presents. So far they had three baby outfits, five stuffed animals--because Seungcheol couldn’t pick just one-- and a top of the line baby stroller that seemed more like a transformer than anything else. Jeonghan had also advised him to buy something for his sister-in-law, the actual mother, but Seungcheol was too obsessed with the little hats and socks that they left with only presents for his newborn niece.
From the store, Seungcheol had driven to a flower shop hoping to find an arrangement for his in-law when Jeonghan had spoken up against it, “She’s not gonna like them.”
“You’re kidding, right? Who the hell doesn’t like flowers?” The older man questioned as he unbuckled his seatbelt still deciding to find a flower arrangement against the younger’s protest.
“Me. They remind me of death.” Jeonghan eyed Seungcheol who deliberately ignored his opinion on this matter, when he was the very one who asked Jeonghan to come along to give his thoughts on his in-law’s present.
Seungcheol held his hand on the door handle and turned to look at the blonde man who sat in his passenger's seat picking at his nails absentmindedly, “You’ve gotta be shitting me. How the hell do flowers remind you of death?”
Thinking, Jeonghan pouted his lips, “Funerals, death. Allergies-”
Seungcheol laughed pulling the door handle to open his door, “Allergies don’t kill you,” he directed at the other. He pushed his door wide and got out, walking around to the passenger's side to open the car door for his friend.
Jeonghan looked up seriously, “Sneezing . . .” Seungcheol rolled his eyes and cocked a questioning eyebrow up at the younger man who unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car turning towards the man holding his door open for him, “ . . . to death.”
“You’re ridiculous. Let’s go.” Seungcheol motioned for Jeonghan to step behind him as he closed the door, then turned to see Jeonghan staring at him with his arms folded across his chest.
“Am I, though?” the younger man frowned. “ I would rather get a plant than flowers because flowers die .”
Seungcheol sighed and shook his head as he stepped towards the other and gently placed his hand upon Jeonghan’s hip turning him around. He dragged his palm to his friend’s lower back, as he pushed the other towards the entrance of the flower shop. “Plants die too,” he mentioned offhandedly.
“Yeah, if you don’t water them,” the younger immediately answered, “but flowers are already dead, we’re just keeping their carcasses and preserving them with water until they inevitably start to rot and decay.”
Seungcheol scoffed entering the quaint little shop, “You’re so fucked in the head,” he spoke softly in the other’s ear as the atmosphere of the calm and quiet shop encased the two men.
Shivers ran up the younger’s spine as he looked around the shop to distract himself from the pace of his heart picking up as well as the warmth of the other’s palm, which stayed in place on the curve of his lower back.
Seungcheol had been his best friend since kindergarten and they had always been there for each other's biggest moments, as well as for the ups and downs in life. Jeonghan had been there for Seungcheol when his mom left and when his dad had remarried another woman; he was also there to see his greatest accomplishments, like when ‘Cheol graduated from the university with a major in business, or on his first day as CEO at his father’s large advertising company.
It was in college that he realized his feelings for Seungcheol had grown into something more than platonic. Yet, as if the universe had different plans for the two, the timing was never right between them. When Jeonghan had finally built up the courage to tell his best friend of his feelings, the older man was always in a relationship, or if not, was talking to a new prospect. Ironically, when Jeonghan was ready to move on with his own life and maybe open his heart up for another, Seungcheol would suddenly call him up asking for his company as he struggled through yet another one his breakups. And just like that, Jeonghan would realize the extent of just how much the other held his heart and would, again, walk head first into the storm that was Choi Seungcheol.
It was a vicious cycle that the younger had tried to break, but failed again and again. And it was times like this when they were both single and content that the cruel and deceiving serpent of hope crawled its way into his heart to take refuge; times when Cheol wasn’t paying attention to how softly he was holding him, or how fondly he was looking at him, or how kindly he was talking to him were the most dangerous for Jeonghan, because the serpent would clutch even tighter around his heart and he would find himself hoping that maybe, just maybe, they could be something more to each other until the fickleness of fate would then decide that such fantasies like his were nothing but silly dreams.
“I like the lilies.”
Jeonghan snapped out of his thoughts and looked towards the bright pink spotted flowers that were displayed in a beautiful vase on a table they stopped in front of. He frowned and wrinkled his nose, “Eh.”
Seungcheol sighed in disbelief, “What’s wrong with lillies?”
Jeonghan threw an arm across his midriff and held his hip as he cocked his head to the side, “I dunno. The pollen can stain really easily and it doesn't come out. Kind of an accident waiting to happen with a newborn in the house.”
The older man took a moment to think about what the other said, then nodded before walking away towards another flower arrangement. “How about these?” he pointed as he called back towards the younger.
Jeonghan sighed and walked towards the other looking at the arrangement. Before he could give any thoughts on the flowers, the shop owner approached them.
“Hi! Did you boys need some help?” She was an elderly lady with salt and pepper hair and a gentle kind face. She wore a tan apron with sunflowers embroidered on it and her head barely reached either man’s shoulders.
Seungcheol turned around to face the older lady and laughed bashfully, “Yeah, actually, I’m looking for an arrangement for my sister-in-law. She just gave birth and I wanted to get her something nice! What do you recommend?”
The store owner smiled fondly at the man, “Well, if it’s someone close you are buying for, the best way to go is a custom arrangement.” The elderly lady wobbled her way towards the back of the room where the cash register was. “Come,” she called back, gesturing for the two men to follow, “I can help you pick out your flowers.”
Jeonghan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket before he could follow the other two.
Seokie:
Hyuuuung!!!!!
Jeonghan:
Seokie? What’s wrong?
Seokie:
Shua won’t answer his phone!!! What if he died? His flight was supposed to land 20 minutes ago!!!!!
That’s right, he was supposed to pick up Joshua today. Jeonghan glanced up at the dark haired man across the store who was standing next to the short elderly lady looking at different flowers. He felt like an idiot. He remembered telling Cheol he wasn’t busy and that he could meet him, when in reality, he had promised Joshua that he would pick him up from the airport. So the minute he hung up with Seungcheol, Jeonghan had called Seokmin to make arrangements for him to pick up Shua instead. It was actually pretty pathetic in a way, foregoing his promise and dumping his responsibility on Seokmin to drive out and pick up Shua, and then calling Joshua at three in the morning due to the time difference, to let him know of the last minute changes. It was stupid, and Jeonghan knew that, but when it came to Seungcheol, he found himself constantly doing stupid things.
Seokie:
I’m standing here by the arrival gate but he hasn’t come out yet!!!
Jeonghan:
Seok, he probably had to get his baggage.
Seokie:
Ohhh that’s right! Ok… so he is probably safe. Sorry hyung, it’s just my first time doing this.
Jeonghan:
No, don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I asked this of you last minute.
Seokie:
Of course not hyung! It’s not a problem at all! :)
Jeonghan looked up to see Seungcheol walking over with a huge bouquet of various flowers beautifully arranged and wrapped in light blue tissue paper and cellophane, tied neatly together with a yellow silk ribbon.
Jeonghan:
Thank you so so much Seokie! I owe you one! :)
“Hey.”
Jeonghan shoved his phone in his pocket and smiled at the older man.
Seongcheol’s eyes gazed down at Jeonghan’s pocket, “Who was that?”
The younger shook his head casually, “Seokmin. He had a question about something.” Jeonghan gestured to the bouquet , “That’s pretty,” he commented before turning to make their way out of the store.
Seungcheol smiled down at the flowers and followed Jeonghan, “Yeah! The store aunty helped me pick them out!”
Jeonghan gazed at all the different flowers they passed on their way out and made a noncommittal hum in response to the other.
“Did you know that different flowers mean different things?”
His eyes caught a spray of purple roses. Jeonghan had to admit they were quite pretty. The soft color of the petals and the sweet floral scent drew the younger man in. His grandmother used to grow flowers like these in her backyard before she passed away. It was all quite nostalgic for him.
“I thought you don’t like flowers?”
Jeonghan realized he had stopped walking and was staring at the roses. He frowned, “I don’t. I saw a bee,” he said, before tearing his gaze off the flowers and continuing his way out of the store.
Seungcheol smiled at the back of his best friend. He definitely did not see a bee.
- ~•~•~•
“So I’m alive.”
Jeonghan looked up from his laptop with a huge grin plastered on his face. He got up from the floor and rushed over to his friend throwing out his hands that were clinging to the hem of his sleeves that were balled up in fists, “You’re back!”
Joshua laughed and walked into the hug the other was extending towards him, “I am. Seokmin did a good job.”
Jeonghan embraced Shua and rocked them side to side before letting go, “He thought you were dead,” he giggled out.
Joshua laughed while holding a hand up to hover over his mouth. Something he habitually did when he found something extremely funny. “I know, when he saw me he already had tears in his eyes, poor guy!” He shuffled over to his room to dump his stuff in.
Jeonghan walked over to the kitchen and opened the freezer door to grab himself a pint of strawberry ice cream. “Hey, Why are you home so late? Your flight got in at two?” He called out as he sifted through the utensil drawer until he found a spoon.
The blonde could hear his roommate puttering around in his room before an answer came, “We went to dinner.”
Jeonghan plopped himself down on the couch stabbing the spoon into the pink ice cream smiling, “My instructions were to just pick you up, not take you on a date afterwards,” he teased.
Joshua appeared from his room in a soft gray tee-shirt and comfortable sweats and walked over to plop himself down next to his friend, “I was hungry, so we went for a late lunch,” was his only explanation.
Jeonghan scoffed, “That ran a little late don’t you think? It’s eight-thirty.”
Joshua shrugged, “I dunno. I figured you would be home late because you dropped me like a sack of potatoes to drool over Lover Boy,” he grabbed the ice cream out of Jeonghan’s hand and took a big bite while looking over innocently at the other with his big doe-eyes.
The blonde rolled his eyes playfully, “Well, he had to visit his brother at the hospital. He dropped me off pretty early.”
Joshua smiled, “That’s right! A baby niece right?”
The blonde grabbed the ice cream out of Shua’s hands, “Mn! She’s adorable.”
The front door to the apartment opened to let in their other roommate who came in to see the two lounging on the couch sharing a pint of strawberry ice cream. “Rough day?” he questioned the two.
Jeonghan smiled up at the man standing in front of him, “Speaking of dates! You didn’t come home last night, Jeon Wonwoo!”
Wonwoo sighed rolling his eyes, “I had to stay late at the school and Gyu came to pick me up and I stayed at his place.” He paced over to the kitchen to grab a cup of water, “ Nothing happened,” he cut in before his crazy roommates made some comment.
Joshua laughed, the glob of ice cream resting in his open mouth as he did so. Swallowing, he smiled at the man in the kitchen, “We know nothing happened! You have your ‘no sex on the weekdays because I have to wake up early’ rule.”
“But you wanted something to happen right?” Jeonghan teased, “You know, psychologically, we tend to bring up things that we are relieved didn’t happen because subconsciously we are actually disappointed they didn’t happen! If we were actually relieved, we would just forget about it!”
Wonwoo sighed and rolled his eyes drinking the remains of his water. “Stop making shit up.”
Jeonghan giggled, “IT’S TRUE! Like how Shua said he was so happy Seok didn’t kiss him goodnight before he dropped him off tonight because it would have been awkward! He really, deep down, wanted that kiss, yeah Shua?” He nudged his friend next to him who gave a playful sneer in the blonde’s direction.
“Or like how you said you like the friendship you and Cheol have because it’s, and I quote, less messy,” Joshua bickered back.
Wonwoo smiled at the playful banter of the two on the couch. Plopping himself down in the armchair, Wonwoo reached over to where he dropped his backpack on the floor.
Jeonghan looked between his roommates. It was always nice like this with just the three of them in each other’s company. Even if they were all doing their own thing, Jeonghan writing his PHD dissertation, Wonwoo correcting student essays for his classes, and Joshua, emailing wedding vendors for his clients, it was nice.
Wonwoo dumped gardening books and magazines on to the coffee table and sighed as he flipped through a magazine. Joshua ate another big bite of ice cream and handed it back to Jeonghan before leaning over to pick up a book, “Taking up a new hobby?” he teased, glancing over at Wonwoo.
Wonwoo let out a breathy laugh, “I wish. I’m doing a lesson in symbolism, so I’m using what flowers represent as an example in my lesson, only I know shit about the meaning behind flowers, so…” he gestured towards the table full of books and magazines.
Jeonghan scrunched his nose up, “I hate flowers,” he mentioned offhandedly picking up a small book with the different meanings of flowers.
Joshua rolled his eyes while scanning a page in the magazine that had different wild flowers in them, “You are such a negative nelly. I happen to love flowers,” he smiled, turning to the next page..
Jeonghan pouted but continued to flip through the book. “Most wedding planners do,” he said.
“I’m thinking about using different roses and how each color means something different.” Wonwoo spoke out loud to no one in particular.
The statement peaked Jeonghan’s interest, “Like purple roses?” he suddenly asked.
Wonwoo looked at him with an unreadable expression, “Yeah. Like purple roses.” He stared at his roommate for another second then smiled to himself. Jeonghan frowned slightly, catching the other’s strange behavior, but was distracted by Joshua who grabbed the book out of his hands and started flipping through the pages .
“It says purple roses represent enchantment,” Joshua read out loud, “The giver of these flowers seek to convey that they have fallen in love with the recipient at the very first sight.”
Jeonghan nodded his head slowly as he pursed his lips while staring at his nails that needed to be cut, “Oh, that’s pretty corny.”
Wonwoo chuckled to himself while Joshua rolled his eyes at the older, “What’s going to happen when you get married? Will you just not have flowers at your wedding?”
Jeonghan just smiled mockingly and grabbed his laptop to finish working on his dissertation.
The night grew later and Jeonghan found himself being the last one in the living room. He sat on the ground leaning against the couch, as his legs were sprawled out underneath the coffee table which his laptop rested on. All the lights were off except the side lamp next to the couch.
Stretching his arms up, he heard a slight crack come from his back. He deflated his whole body back down and reached out to shut his laptop. Jeonghan looked at his phone to see the time, but was instead greeted with Seungcheol’s picture popping up as his phone vibrated in his hands. He looked at the time and accepted the call.
“It’s 3:45 in the morning, Cheol.”
He heard a deep chuckle come from the other, his low breathy laugh resonated through the phone giving Jeonghan the chills he always got when Cheol’s voice sounded raspy like this, “I’m outside. Can you come down?”
Jeonghan rubbed his eyes and sighed, “It’s 3:45 in the morning, Seungcheol.”
“So you’ve said.”
Jeonghan dragged his knees towards his chest propping his elbow up on them as he kept the phone to his ear, “I was sleeping.”
“No you weren’t. You were working on your dissertation. I know you, Yoon Jeonghan.” His voice sounded strange, Jeonghan couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “C’mon. Take a break,” there was a pause, “I have something to tell you.”
Jeonghan’s breath hitched. He hated those words. Nothing he liked ever followed those six words. The last time the older man said them, he called Jeonghan bragging how he got some model he hired for a magazine shoot to go out on a date with him. The first time he said it, Cheol had broken down and cried when his mother left him. Jeonghan didn’t know what to do, so he just sat there hugging his best friend who sobbed into his chest. This time wouldn’t be any different and Jeonghan was tired, “Cheol...it’s late I—”
“Please, Hannie. It won’t take long.”
Jeonghan sighed. This was Cheol. Why did he ever think he could fight this? Of course he would come down at three in the morning without any reason from the other, just because he asked. He hated this. He hated himself for walking out of the elevator and into the lobby of his apartment building to see Seungcheol sitting in his black slick car parked outside. He hated Cheol for doing this to him. What he hated the most was as much as he wanted to blame the older man, Jeonghan knew that he could only blame himself.
He opened the car door and plopped himself into the passenger's seat. He looked over to Seungcheol who smiled at him. He knew that smile, Cheol was trying to hide something.
“Seatbelt.”
Jeonghan stared at his best friend, “Why? Where are we going?” He watched Seungcheol ignore his questions and focus on releasing the parking brake instead, driving out of the parking lot. Jeonghan wanted to say more, but when he looked at the older’s face, something in him stopped himself.
They drove for about a half an hour until Jeonghan became aware of where they were going. The backroads, the hills, the vineyards . . . they were going back to the summer house Seungcheol’s father owned.
They drove down the winding roads, and to Jeonghan’s surprise, Seungcheol drove past the driveway to the ranch house Seugncheol grew up in. He twisted his neck back to watch the house get smaller as they got further. He whipped his head back to his best friend, “Cheol, where are we going?”
The older man just smiled and kept driving down the empty road. Jeonghan felt a sudden irritation at the other building in him, “Choi Seungcheol where the fuck are we--”
The car pulled into an open lot that was all too familiar to Jeonghan. This was where they grew up. It was an empty acre of land that was owned by the city, but at the time, they didn’t know that. They would sneak in and run around playing tag or make-believe, their day would end with Jeonghan’s grandmother calling them back for dinner. Afterall, his grandma’s house was only right next door.
As they got older, it became a place where he and Cheol would escape. They would trespass and lay on the grass drinking beers the older stole from his father. They would talk about everything and anything as they would watch the sun set and the stars appear.
They sat in the car staring out at the open field, it was still dark, and the only thing Jeonghan could see was the grass a few feet in front of them that was illuminated by the car lights. Jeonghan pulled at a loose thread in his ripped jeans waiting for the other to say something.
“I sat in front of your apartment for an hour.”
Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol, “What?”
“I sat in front of your apartment for an hour, I was gonna leave but,” There was a pause. Jeonghan waited for him to continue.
When nothing came Jeonghan set his hand on Seungcheol’s arm, “But what, Cheol?” Jeonghan stared at the profile of his best friend's face, it was only then that he saw it. What Seungcheol had been trying to hide . . . he was scared.
“I found myself coming here a lot,” the older started again. There was another pause, but this time Jeonghan didn’t say anything, instead he waited. “Do you remember the last time we were here?” Seungcheol finally spoke out.
The younger nodded, “I took you here after you came to my grandma’s house the night . . . your mom left.”
Seungcheol shook his head, “I found you here. The day your grandma passed away.”
Jeonghan frowned, he remembered that day, he sat in the field and sobbed until he didn’t have any more tears left. He racked his brain, but he didn’t remember Cheol coming at all. “You were here?”
The older nodded. Jeonghan watched his best friend, the sun was starting to rise causing his skin to look golden as the light reflected off his face. His dark hair was fluffy as his fringe fell softly on his forehead, he obviously took a shower before he came to see Jeonghan.
“Yeah, I was gonna go to you. I sat in my car, just like this, and I saw you. . . sitting there.” Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan. There was something in his eyes, Jeonghan couldn’t put his finger on it. “I was gonna go to you, comfort you, like you always did for me. But I realized then that. . . I couldn’t.”
The younger frowned slightly, “Cheol, I don’t. . .” He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand at all. Why did the older drive him out here? Why is he saying all of this? Why does he seem scared? “Why couldn’t you come to me?” He finally asked.
There was a long pause. Seungcheol turned his head to look forward as he stared at the field. Jeonghan could hear the morning birds chirping outside, it was getting light out, the field was probably more visible now but he didn’t care. He kept his eyes on the man next to him.
“I couldn’t come to you because if I did. . .” The older turned to the younger, “I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from telling you.”
His eyes bored into the younger almost as if he wanted Jeonghan to understand, as if he was begging the younger to understand what he was trying to say. And maybe, if Jeonghan tried hard enough, he could, but he wanted to hear it, he wanted Seungcheol to say it. “Telling me what?”
“ . . . That I’ve been in love with you, Yoon Jeonghan, from the moment I met you, I’ve been completely enchanted by everything you are.”
Jeonghan stared at Seungcheol who stared back. It felt like a lifetime passed between them when the older smiled lightly and unbuckled his belt and opened his door to get out of the car. Jeonghan watched the older. His eyes followed the other’s movements as he made his way to the front of the car. It was only then that Jeonghan saw it. The field. It was the same field he knew, the same field he and Seungcheol would play in as innoncent children and get drunk in as dumb teenagers, but there was one thing different about it.
Jeonghan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he finally saw what Seungcheol had drove him out here for. Right in front of him was a field covered in purple roses. They grew wild, some bunches were thicker than others, while some grew sparsely on their bushes. As the sun grew higher, the golden light reflected off the morning dew causing the field to glisten, making it look like a small diamond hid in each flower. It was beautiful and almost enchanting, so different from the familiar field they had taken for granted their whole lives; and this was a moment in time that Jeonghan wanted to forever freeze, a memory that he could take out again and again to fondly cherish.
And yet, despite the magic of this moment, the younger man felt like he was in a daze, like he was somehow floating above all of this. He got out of the car, but it didn’t feel like himself, it felt like a different person controlling his body and all he was doing was watching everything from behind his own eyes, like how one does when caught in a dream.
He walked over to where Seungcheol was leaning against the hood of his car, “Cheol—”
“I picked a date and told myself that I would tell you then, but that day came and went, and then another day went by, and then another. It just got so easy to keep pushing it back, that after a while I just. . .” Seungcheol looked down and smiled defeatedly, “I was gonna confess the night I graduated from the university. I bought a small rose plant and I was gonna tell you but. . . well, you know, I chickened out. I drove out here that night and I left the plant in the same field I left my other unspoken confessions.”
It was too much for Jeonghan he needed to breathe, “Seungcheol—”
“It became a habit, whenever I felt like confessing, I would buy a rose plant, and plant it here. It was my way of . . . confessing without losing you. After a while, everytime I came here it started to become a place of pain. The place where my mother left, where you lost your grandma, a place where all of my cowardly confessions bloomed. I wanted to . . . I needed to change that. I know this is a lot but--”
“CHOI SEUNGCHEOL, STOP!” Jeonghan stepped in front of the older, holding his shoulders with both hands to brace himself. He watched the other’s long dark eyelashes flutter as he realized how close he actually got, “ . . . talking . . . please,” he breathed out quietly for only them to hear as the younger man’s eyes lowered to gaze at Seungcheol lips. His hand ran down the other’s arm as he took a step back but was stopped by the older man grabbing his waist.
His eyes focused on Seungcheol whose eyes were preoccupied with staring at the younger man’s lips. He pulled Jeonghan closer until they were only a hairbreadth away. The younger man waited for Cheol to push him back laughing only to claim all of this was a joke, but he didn’t. Instead he got closer and closer until . . . their lips met.
Jeonghan’s whole body went numb, the only thing he could feel was the warmth coming from Seungcheol’s lips that tenderly brushed against his own: the kiss was gentle and hesitant, as if he was still unsure. Jeonghan wanted to reassure his best friend and tell him it was okay, that it was more than okay, but all that escaped his lips was a soft sigh of pleasure.
Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan closer as his left hand snaked up around the nape of the younger man’s neck while his other hand still held onto his slim waist. Jeonghan clutched to the fabric of the Cheol’s shirt against his chest as the kiss deepened. Time seemed to stop, as the only thing Jeonghan was aware of at this moment was Seungcheol. His scent, his warmth, his touch . . . everything about the older man encased Jeonghan in an addicting trance that he never wanted to break out of. He couldn’t feel the ground beneath his feet, and the only thing that was keeping him standing was the man in front of him as they stood propped against his car.
“Cheollie . . .” A small thoughtless whisper escaped Jeonghan’s lips as the two parted. Seungcheol’s breath hitched at the nickname Jeonghan used to call him as a kid. He still held the other close as he leaned their foreheads together.
“It’s always been you, Yoon Jeonghan. From the start, no matter how many times I thought I could find another, my heart always led me back to you.” Seungcheol whispered as if any loud noise would break this perfect moment. Jeonghan laughed lightly as he rested his forehead against the older man’s shoulder; Seungcheol smiled and then gently pushed the younger man away to gaze into his eyes, “What?”
Jeonghan shook his head laughing, “You’re being really corny.” He still kept his voice soft wanting to keep this moment theirs, and theirs alone.
Seungcheol laughed and pulled him back into his embrace, causing their faces to be just a few centimeters away. Jeonghan tried to ignore how perfectly their bodies fit together, as if God carved them from the same stone, but he couldn’t. He could feel his face begin to flush as he felt Cheol’s heartbeat through his chest. “I find myself doing corny things when it comes to you, Hannie,” the older man confessed. Jeonghan’s eyes fluttered, as he kept his gaze on Seungcheol’s affectionate stare.
The blonde frowned slightly as he pulled himself from the older man’s embrace and turned around to face the open field. “Purple roses . . .” he whispered under his breath and turned to Seungcheol. “I don’t like flowers.” He stated again. There was no malice behind the words, it was just an empty statement after all; a last attempt to hide away those emotions he felt deep inside and run away from everything Cheol made him feel.
“No,it’s not that you don’t like flowers, Hannie, you just don’t like what they remind you of,” Seungcheol answered, stepping forward, “ Your grandmother’s garden. Her funeral . . . I understand, but I was hoping . . .” He circled his arms around Jeonghan’s waist and pulled his back into his chest, “ . . . someday, you could walk into a flower shop and instead be reminded of this.” He rested his chin on Jeonghan’s shoulder, “Of us.”
Jeonghan found himself smiling, and as the sun slowly rose to paint the morning skies in hues of pinks and gold, he could feel his heart beating freely as the serpent within finally unclenched it’s jaws and let go. He gazed at the beautiful field of roses as Cheol’s arms tightened around him, ensconcing him in warmth and safety and love. Maybe fate truly did keep both of them apart for all these many years, maybe fate knew that they both needed time to grow and change until they would be ready for one another . . . until today. And like the roses that grew abundantly in their familiar field, Jeonghan could feel his own heart begin to bloom, like an unfurling flower of hope; hope for a new tomorrow, and a new beginning with Seungcheol in it. Jeonghan lifted his hands to cover Cheol’s, turning his head slightly to offer his lips; and as Seungcheol lowered his head to kiss him sweetly the blonde suddenly realized that flowers weren’t as bad as he once thought.