Work Text:
Craig was waiting for his boyfriend outside the lockers of class as the bell rings and he sees his boyfriend wearing a mask like many others were today. "Babe what the fuck."
"Craig??? Are you n-not worried about the GERMS?! t-he corona?! Craig!!! You don't get it man! People are stocking up on toilet paper and....and hand sanitizer! T-this is the end times man!!!" Craig knew for a fact his boyfriend was one of those people that was doing that.
"So, do you still want to go out later tonight and get McDonAlds?" Craig asks completely ignoring his boyfriends rant of panic. "We can't go to McDonald's Craig!! Did you not hear me?! What if we catch it from the food. I can't eat fries. I don't know who touched my food. Oh god Craig. I-I don't want to die from eating fries!"
Craig sighed. "I'm not worried. We're both healthy people, Tweek."
"What do you MEAN?! so what? The virus doesn't discriminate!! Man. It can get anyone. It doesn't care! It is a virus and-" he cuts off Tweek's panic with a tug of his hand. "Come on you're being a little ridiculous."
"AGH!! Don't touch me. I know you don't wash your hands! A-and put your fingers in your nose."
Never did that bother Tweek before. "Never bothered you before."
"H-huh...well...."
Craig had a point there.
"So, do you still want to go to dinner tonight or?"
"Agh....I guess!" Tweek said with a violent twitch.
"I-I just!! Agh. I don't want to die man! Shit is all over the place! I feel even more not in control and you're just so calm! What if you die too! I can't deal with that! That's way too much pressure!"
Craig wasn't sure how to calm Tweek down about this. "Would you picking the place make you feel better? Or we can just go home and you can bake something. You know everything is safe there."
Tweek nodded calming down after one more violent twitch of panic. "I guess...."
"And I'll even wait out in your dumb toilet paper fortress and we'll survive the apocalypse together, kay, babe?"
"D-dick! I'm just prepared! You'll be thanking me when we have all the toilet paper and survive and...."
He just lets Tweek ramble on as they leave school together and listens on the bus ride about all of this.
The virus made his boyfriend even more of a paranoid twitchy mess. Tweek was super cautious about kissing him now and holding hands asking Craig if he was clean for sure and everything and even going as far as putting hand sanitizer on his hands before.
Craig didn't know how long he'd be able to deal with this especially with how obsessed Tweek became about it. He knew it was with good reason but, he just couldn't seem to give a fuck about this like everyone else was. You could die from almost anything. Hell in south park anything was possible. So it wasn't something he worried over. Unlike his spastic boyfriend.
"I've never even seen you sick before, why are you so worried now? And even when you have gotten sick, which is rarely, you get over it quick," Craig stated.
It must be all the coffee (and meth) that kept his immune system so crazy like that.
"Huh....I guess....I just. I don't want to be quarantined! Oh god. What if we get it here in south park!!! I don't want anyone to cough on me Craig!"
"What if I coughed on you?"
"Craig!!! No!"
He went to fake cough.
"Kidding, relax. I'm not sick anyway, you big baby."
"Just relax babe, there isn't anything worth stressing yourself over. It is very rare that someone our age would die from it."
"Ahh....whatever I-I'm just going to do my best to avoid this shit."
Craig nodded.
"I'll do my best to uh, wash my hands more around you?" Craig joked.
Tweek pouted.
"It doesn't mean we should stop holding hands and kissing you know. But if I did die from that I wouldn't mind, you're worth it, babe."
"T-thanks?" Tweek was unsure if he should be panicking over the idea of Craig dying or flattered that he would die over him over some virus. Maybe like some infected Romeo and Juliet except Craig is much hotter than Romeo.
"I-I think I'll be okay, thanks Craig for uh...you know listening, I know it isn't easy to comfort me a-about this."
Especially because Tweek knew there was nothing Craig could really do to comfort him when it was a big pandemic. But at least he tried and that's what mattered.
"Do you still want anything from McDonald's? I'm about to head out."
Tweek paused for a moment. "Y-yeah! I think I'll have some fries actually"
"I'll make sure to disinfect them for you ok?"
Tweek rolled his eyes, "Asshole."
Craig then left to go get McDonAlds for them and he returned like 30 mins later with some and gave Tweek his fries and Tweek ate it and it was ok. It was going to be ok.