Work Text:
*
It starts with Nie Huaisang and his penchant for throwing parties, abetted by Wei Wuxian's own disregard for the rules, especially if said rules are engraved onto the Gusulan rockface. Jiang Cheng's admonishing frown does not last long against this fearsome combination, reinforced as it is by the promise that no one would dare report them.
"The Lan authorities are in my pocket," Wei Wuxian assures them, grinning impishly.
"You mean, Lan Wangji is in your pocket, where he's wrapped around your little finger and wouldn't report you even if you pissed all over the Gusu rules wall."
"Jiang Cheng, don't be crass," Wei Wuxian scolds. "It's called friendship and loyalty."
Jiang Cheng pretends to gag at the veracity of that, and even Nie Huaisang shakes his head, unsympathetic.
"Just don't forget to invite me to the wedding, Wei-xiong."
Wei Wuxian dismisses them with a wave of his hand, even as his heart beats triple at the underlying implication.
His second visit to Gusu has firmly and almost publicly established him as the exception to all of Lan Zhan's rules. That's not to say that the Second Jade still does not catch him breaking rules or sneaking off, but more often than not, that's followed by Lan Zhan accompanying him in those things, listening as Wei Wuxian chatters like a particularly bouncy bird. On other occasions, Lan Zhan would wait by the wall until Wei Wuxian got back and then walk him to his rooms.
Lan Qiren would say Wei Wuxian is corrupting his favourite disciple despite the fact that Wei Wuxian genuinely thinks that's impossible. Lan Zhan is incorruptible, a perfect piece of jade, the most righteous and brave and just- the best person that Wei Wuxian knows. Breaking a few rules after a lifetime of following them is understandable, and the looming war over the horizon silences even the most upright Lan elder.
They might as well be happy when they can still afford to be, is the unsaid refrain.
*
The party is after dark, when the moon is large and bright in the sky and everything is stiflingly quiet. About two dozen or so guest cultivators make their way to the large area commanded by the Nie sect rooms, where Nie Huaisang flutters a fan and directs them to rows and rows of low tables laid down with all kinds of refreshments. There are sitting cushions all across the floor, numerous and cozy looking, and Nie Huaisang has actually managed to hire someone to play the xiao in the background, low and almost eerie.
It's one of the weirdest get-togethers Wei Wuxian's been at, almost crossing over into the territory of an unsupervised sleepover of overgrown disciples.
Wei Wuxian spots a large platter laden with lotus seeds on one of the refreshment tables and immediately makes his way there. They are surprisingly fat and juicy when he pops them in his mouth. Nie Huaisang might actually be secretly magic.
The rooms get noisier as the night grows longer, awkwardness and decorum stretching thin and eventually breaking as everyone lets their hair down. The young disciples jostle and joke around, aided by the jars of Emperor's Smile that have magically appeared.
Wei Wuxian thrives right in the middle of it, horsing around and partaking in the overflowing alcohol with a wide, happy smile on his face. He goads Jiang Cheng into drinking yet another Jar of Emperor's smile; challenges the xiao player to a duet; starts an impromptu game of spiritual darts which gets progressively hilarious the drunker they get. The Yunmeng head disciple is comfortable in the thick of mischief, laughing so loudly and so often that it is almost like a siren call.
It isn't surprising when Lan Wangji does turn up then, opening the double doors with a loud reproving bang, with a loud reproving look on his statuesque face. Even his long sleeves flutter in a way that exudes sternness when he flicks them, taking in the scene in front of him: the casual disarray of bodies, the half-empty jars of alcohol and Wei Wuxian, right in the middle of it.
Wei Wuxian is delighted at the sight of Lan Wangji, albeit a little bit drunk so it takes him a while to notice the man standing at the entrance. Hanguang-jun is his best friend, the favourite of his heart and now he is here, right in front of Wei Wuxian as if summoned by the longing that is always thrumming at the center of him, right next to his golden core.
"Lan Zhan!" He yells, too loud, and makes his way over to where the Second Jade is, stumbling until Lan Zhan steadies him with a firm hand. "Wow, you look so good in the moonlight. Hanguang-jun, indeed."
Everyone silently cringes and looks away. Nie Huaisang discreetly signals and the music starts up again. The party goes on.
Lan Zhan's face gentles as Wei Wuxian snuggles closer upto him. He quietly admonishes, "Wei Ying has gotten drunk."
"Impossible. I am the master of inebriation.That is, not inebriation but," Wei Wuxian pokes a finger into Lan Zhan's cheek. "Retaining my senses in the face of all obstacles."
Lan Zhan catches his finger, hand calloused and warm, igniting a fire in Wei Wuxian's veins even as he pulls them both outside. "Yes, Wei Ying is very sensible."
Outside, the wind is stingingly cold on Wei Wuxian's face, sobering him up to a certain extent.
Lan Zhan is still holding onto Wei Wuxian's hand as they stand side by side under the silver moonlight. Something in the air is palpable, electric, daring Wei Wuxian to take what he wants. The door closes behind them, the rush of warmth and noise cutting off, leaving only the promise of the silent dark.
Wei Wuxian is a little bit nervous suddenly. He giggles, "Lan Zhan, you won't report us right?"
Lan Wangji trains a look at him, implacable to those who don't know how to read him. It says Maybe I should. "Uncle is away, and Brother is lenient on these occasions. I am taking my cue from him"
Unmentioned are the numerous occasions when Lan Qiren had been present at the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan has still not reported Wei Wuxian any of the times that he had broken the rules.
Wei Wuxian laughs genuinely at that, huddling even closer to Lan Zhan. "Lan Zhan, do you remember when we first met? It was a night just like this."
Lan Zhan hums, looking straight ahead but the side of his mouth is soft. "You were also breaking rules just like this."
"Those are the only similarities," Wei Wuxian protests. "You don't get angry at me anymore. Where is the sword pointed at my throat?"
"Is Wei Ying complaining?"
Wei Wuxian shakes his head in amusement, smiling wide as he flicks Lan Zhan's shoulder in retaliation. Lan Zhan is so funny, absolutely hilarious when you know how to read the wryness of his voice, the dry humour that he favours. Wei Wuxian is an explorer and Lan Zhan's face is his night sky, the only constellation that he needs to find his way home.
Wei Wuxian fishes around in his sleeve where he's sure he'd hid some lotus seeds for later, fingers fumbling from the combination of cold and drunk until he finally finds them with an "Aha."
Lan Zhan raises an eyebrow and Wei Wuxian grins brightly up at him. "Open up, Hanguang-jun. I saved these for you, they are so sweet that they could be from Yunmeng for all we know."
Lan Zhan frowns slightly -it's not his displeased one- and so Wei Wuxian raises his hand and taps the lotus seed right at the seal of Lan Zhan's mouth, demanding entrance.
Lan Zhan's eyes rival the moon with how round they get but he does open up, allowing Wei Ying to slide one lotus seed into his mouth with a finger.
Wei Wuxian doesn't take his hand back, entranced as he traces the curve of Lan Zhan's bottom lip, watching the movement of his throat as he swallows. What is he doing? And then: But it is only Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan who he spends the majority of his time with, who's beside him more often than not, who makes Wei Wuxian a kind of happy that he's rarely ever partaken of in his life before, whose eyes on Wei Wuxian feels more exhilarating than winning any race or nighthunt ever did.
He retreats to pick another seed up and pushes that into Lan Zhan's mouth as well, making eye contact. Lan Zhan's eyes are dark, gaze heavy, as he watches Wei Wuxian right back. His lips are soft under Wei Wuxian's touch, parting like so much velvet.
Wei Wuxian's fingers bump into Lan Zhan's teeth on his third or fourth go-around and he huffs breathlessly at that. "Lan Zhan, you won't bite me right?"
Lan Zhan shakes his head, looking spooked and something urgent underneath, a kind of neediness that has his cheeks flushing, ears beginning to turn red
Fuck this. Throwing caution to the wind, Wei Wuxian rubs a thumb over his bottom lip again, pressing down with intention until the plush round of it juts out and suddenly Lan Zhan's hand, fast as a striking snake, snares his wrist up in a firm, too-tight grip. "Wei Ying, don't tease." He sounds frustrated, something kindling in his eyes, in the way he bites out the words.
Wei Wuxian laughs again, delighted but his laugh cuts off when Lan Zhan bends his head down in a quick smooth motion and kisses Wei Wuxian's fingers, tracing his lips down on where Wei Wuxian's pulse is thundering in his wrist.
He licks once at the thin skin, tongue darting out, then sucks and bites at the delicate flesh, and the scorching hot sensation goes straight to Wei Wuxian's dick.
Lan Zhan raises his head and looks Wei Wuxian right in the eye.
It isn't entirely clear who moves first but the end result is Lan Wangji getting slammed up against a wall and being kissed within an inch of his life.
It's a rush of sensation, Lan Zhan is soft and pliant underneath his mouth, so sweet that Wei Wuxian wants to get inside of him, fuse them both together, devour or get devoured, it doesn't matter which as long it's with Lan Zhan. He feels molten all over as he kisses Lan Zhan, something like sunshine, like joy sinking into the pit of his stomach and right into his bones.
Lan Zhan surges back, his arms coming around Wei Wuxian's waist as he clutches him closer. They're so close, Wei Wuxian is used to holding Lan Zhan to a distance, watching and being watched from afar, he didn't anticipate that having him within reach, in his arms would feel so right. Lan Zhan bites at his bottom lip, pulling him out of his thoughts and Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to pull back and take a gasping breath.
Wei Wuxian grins flirtily up at Lan Wangji, batting his eyelashes and licking his lips pointedly. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, how do you like Emperor's smile now?"
He goes to dive right back in, but Lan Zhan's arms come up to grip him, keep him in place and his face, when Wei Wuxian looks at it, is horror stricken.
The night which was rose-tinted so far shatters. Wei Wuxian watches blankly as Lan Wangji pushes himself away, face unreadable once more and the half feet of new distance between them feels miles long.
Wei Wuxian has majorly fucked up, the realisation leaves him dumbstruck and rooted to the spot, unable to feel his own hands. The proof of it is in the way Lan Zhan isn't looking at him right now, eyes cast down as he murmurs something that sounds like an apology and then leaves, empty space where he just stood.
Wei Wuxian touches his mouth, can still feel the imprint of Lan Wangji on it, the ghost of his presence lingering in the air. The ghost of his own heart is sinking to the bottom of his feet.
*
Jiang Cheng is doing a good impression of acting like a jilted lover, with the way he huffs and moves seats when Lan Wangji enters the classroom and sits next to the sole empty seat next to him, loudly making Nie Huaisang exchange places with him. The dirty look he throws at Lan Wangji has Madame Yu written all over it, like he cannot wait until he and Lan Wangji are alone in a room so he can facilitate a mysterious disappearance.
Wei Wuxian would find it amusing if he was capable of feeling anything other than blankly cold, the undercurrent of guilt leaving him motionless. He's sitting at the front of the class today and keeps quiet throughout the lessons, much to the suspicious astonishment of Lan Qiren.
There's an announcement about an upcoming nighthunt at the tail end of it, a case of water ghouls in the meandering streams of Caiyi that has led to a string of unexpected drownings, unexpected because Caiyi is a town of swimmers and drowning is not at all an usual occurrence.
They are to assemble in the evening, for the water ghouls have been especially striking at night and it is imperative to catch them in their active phase, they can evade capture otherwise. Water ghouls are smart and wily creatures, and the right way to defeat them lies by wit and not by force.
The number of water ghouls that have evidently appeared are a cause of worry and Lan Xichen requests that they all come, choosing to forgo quality over quantity.
The longboats are cloaked in shadows when they leave in the evening, Wei Wuxian goes to the back of his and sits down, trails a hand absent-mindedly over the flowing water as Jiang Cheng commandeers the front of it.
Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan are at the head of their little procession, Lan Xichen explaining the intricacies of the night hunt. Wei Wuxian listens absent-mindedly, keeping sure to keep his eyes averted from Zewu-jun's left where a certain Jade shines brighter than the moon.
"A two pronged approach, where some of you would stay on the banks of the streams while the rest explore the waters. Go in pairs for the streams are numerous and report back in an hour. Don't forget the signals in case of an emergency."
"Yes, Zewu-jun," they all concur, bowing before setting off.
Caiyi is a city whose layout resembles that of a spider web, upstreams and downstreams intersecting, waterways being the principal means of communication. It leaves the city particularly vulnerable to attacks such as these, the overabundance of water ghouls meaning that trade and commerce will definitely suffer.
Wei Wuxian notices Lan Wangji veering left, into a particularly narrow stream, all alone on his own boat before the dark night hungrily swallows him up.
Wei Wuxian can't help grumbling to Jiang Cheng at that. "You'd think the Lans would follow their own rules. Why is he going off alone when we haven't even determined the cause of all these water ghouls?"
Jiang Cheng looks at him in disbelief. "Wei Wuxian! You are unbelievable. You spent the entire day ignoring him but as soon as he leaves, you start complaining."
"Shut up." Raising his voice in an effort to get Lan Xichen's attention, he yells across the water. "Zewu-jun! I will patrol the banks, if you don't mind."
Zewu-jun smiles faintly, nodding. "As you wish, Wei-gongzi."
The greenery of Caiyi is luminescent in the moonlight as Wei Wuxian follows a stream downstream, jumping and leaping gracefully over the rocks and boulders that intersperse the bank alongside it.
There's a niggle of worry in the back of his mind as he quickly traverses distance, keeping a careful eye on the water.
Lan Zhan has gone somewhere to the left and he had been alone, that in itself is a damnation because in nighthunts such as these Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan have made a habit of sticking together and watching each other's back, one's strengths making up for the other's weaknesses.
Wei Wuxian is not seeking out Lan Zhan on purpose but if he happens to stumble across him, then who is he to challenge fate?
Wei Wuxian notices the unnatural stillness of the water as he walks. Usually water bodies such as these are accompanied by the gentle lapping of water and it's sounds. The waters of the streams of Caiyi are silent, as if muted, and when Wei Wuxian chucks a rock into it to test his theory, the rock sinks noiselessly and easily.
It isn't water ghouls they're dealing with or at least, not just them.
Wei Wuxian needs to warn their group, for if whatever they're dealing with controls the water then they're all in danger.
He unsheathes Suibian and gets on it, flying is the quickest way to find the others, or at least someone with an emergency signal so that they could all reconvene and discuss. Wei Wuxian is afraid that their group of disciples won't be enough to defeat whatever it is that they're dealing with.
He doesn't get the opportunity to go very far, his sword which has been hovering a feet above the water is snatched by tendrils of water that rise up suddenly, vicious in their intensity. They feel imbued with resentful energy, sucking Wei Wuxian effortlessly inside the water.
Wei Wuxian struggles, aware that once he goes under it would be very difficult to emerge out. The water seems possessed, hefty with resentful energy, with so much weight that Wei Wuxian is forced down, his poor Suibian right along with him.
Underwater there is no light seeping through, pitch black and heavy, the only way he can even tell it's water is because it's wet.
Wei Wuxian holds his breath, used to sudden dunkings because he's from Yunmeng and drowning will not be how he dies.
Something has infused the water with so much dark energy that it has grown into a vicious thing. Such behaviour is usually characteristic of a waterborne abyss but this seems to be a mutilated and therefore weaker version of it, spread as it is over a large amount of area.
Wei Wuxian can go without breathing but not for long. He channels his spiritual energy in a rebuttal to all the resentful energy swarming around him, fashions it into a shield and then a tiny bubble of protective golden light that will allow him to breath.
It momentarily succeeds in keeping the water out, and Wei Wuxian has the time to take a single gasping breath before the resentful energy burns it out, wisps of smoke like extensions feeding on his spiritual energy.
Wei Wuxian's core spins fast, windmilling in a careening effort to propel him to the surface, the threads of golden energy trying to elevate him but the waterborne abyss is just too strong. For every meter that Wei Wuxian moves upwards, he moves two downwards and it's a fight against gravity except gravity has never wanted him this bad, never wanted to drag him into his grave.
His spiritual energy eventually becomes a feeble thing, and left with no choice, Wei Wuxian stops struggling and considers the mass of resentful energy bound to the water. If only there was some way to control it, to make it do his bidding and let him go.
Wei Wuxian goes back to his own theories, sharpened over years of intellectual discourse and constant arguments. If you cannot tame the flood, you can redirect it.
To be unflinching in the face of what he's about to do is essential, Wei Wuxian quiets the singsong of his own spiritual energy thrumming tiredly in his veins and lets the resentful energy overtake him.
It is -painful, and Wei Wuxian might die anyway. He pushes it, tries to direct it with the force of his will, and it pushes back, hot like an iron brand where it brushes against his consciousness, against the very soul of his being.
Wei Wuxian opens his mouth to scream, and the water rushes into him, trying to claim him and this time he's too far gone to resist.
*
Wei Wuxian wakes up in the Gusulan infirmary, which makes itself known by the depressing grey of it's walls and ceiling, and the concerned voice of the resident medic, Lan Biyu, a sweet-faced woman who Wei Wuxian has previously consulted about the efficiency of medicinal talismans.
"Be careful, Wei-gongzi. Do not strain yourself, your ribs are bruised."
"Aiya…." He groans theatrically, ignoring her as he tries to sit up. The sight that greets Wei Wuxian makes him immediately want to lie back down and fake unconsciousness again.
The Sect Heir of Yunmeng and the Second Jade of Gusu are both sitting in chairs at the foot of his bed, both of their gazes trained on his face as he gets checked over briefly. Jiang Cheng looks angry in his concern, fury his preferred love language as always. Lan Zhan's face when Wei Wuxian dares to look at him is unreadable, sporting a sombre and almost guilty expression that Wei Wuxian hasn't ever seen before.
Jiang Cheng's chair is angled slightly away from Lan Zhan, as if having him from out of his sight would make the reality of him disappear.
Wei Wuxian would make fun of him except this is no time for laughing.
When Lan Biyu is done checking his ribs, Jiang Cheng, in a stunning show of self-restraint, says, formally to Lan Zhan. "May I speak to my brother alone?" which is basically code for 'I need to verbally kick his ass and would prefer no witnesses to that.' It is less of a question and more of an order, thrown up in Lan Zhan's face, the underlying implication of what the hell are you doing here not lost on any of them.
Wei Wuxian frowns, about to intervene but before he can do that Lan Zhan nods, his lips curling up in faint distaste at having to speak to Jiang Cheng. He leaves the room, gliding out with one last searching look at Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian prepares his eardrums and Jiang Cheng doesn't disappoint him.
"Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng bellows. "How many times must it be drilled into your head that your life is not some stupid thing that you can throw away because you wanted to play the hero? Do you know what it was like to see your almost-drowned body in Hanguang-jun's arms?"
Wei Wuxian opens his mouth in indignation. "Who was playing the hero? Jiang Cheng! Be serious, it was just as I was flying to get help that I got attacked by that thing. If you must be angry, go and wring the neck of that waterborne abyss."
"Why weren't you carrying signal lights? Do you think just because you're Wei Wuxian, death will spare you?"
"As if you ever carry signal lights yourself! It was an accident, Jiang Cheng, calm down. I am fine now, so it can just be a learning experience for us all." Wei Wuxian placates, patting his brother's arm.
Jiang Cheng huffs, shaking his head angrily. "Only you would call nearly dying a learning experience."
The waterborne abyss, it turns out, is not a thing that spontaneously spawned in Caiyi. Jiang Cheng informs him that there was a recent case of it in one of the trading centers of Qishanwen, after which it had mysteriously disappeared.
"So it seems they chased it here," Wei Wuxian says, stroking his chin.
"It's gonna wreck Caiyi's economy and Gusu will have their hands full. I have volunteered Yunmeng's cooperation in their efforts, they're going to need as many hands as they can get."
"Aww, Jiang Cheng, such a responsible sect heir," Wei Wuxian teases.
"It's the least we can do, after that-" Jiang Cheng's face twists, displeased. "After Hanguang-jun saved your life. His spiritual energy was almost all gone when we found you both and yet he kept passing you more. Stupid man."
Wei Wuxian treads carefully, keeping his face neutral. "Are you mad that he saved my life?"
Jiang Cheng shakes his head. "Are you stupid as well? I am just mad that we're further indebted to Gusu." He pauses, looking at Wei Wuxian. "I am mad that he was the one who saved your life. When it should've been me. I am your brother and yet I didn't even know until it was almost too late."
The air is still as they both digest Jiang Cheng's involuntary confession.
Wei Wuxian smiles, one of his real ones. "Jiang Cheng, come here, you deserve a hug. Emoting must be immediately rewarded if it is to take."
"Fuck off. I am leaving." Jiang Cheng's face is red and he rolls his eyes as he heads to the door, opening it. "Don't die."
Wei Wuxian yells at his retreating back, shameless till the last. "Jiang Cheng, I love you. Definitely more than I love Lan Wangji."
Said Lan Wangji enters, as if summoned by Wei Wuxian's words, and there's an awkward moment where they both pretend that Lan Wangji didn't just hear Wei Wuxian's shouted declaration.
Wei Wuxian is very good at pretending fake cheer. "Hanguang-jun! My saviour. I must thank you for saving this poor man's life."
Lan Zhan just looks at him, so intense and for so long that Wei Wuxian has to look away, blood rising to his cheeks. The curtains in Gusu are fascinating.
There is a lot unspoken between them, and Wei Wuxian wishes for things to be easy again, when grinning at Lan Wangji wasn't accompanied by vivid flashbacks of what his lips tasted like underneath Wei Wuxian's tongue.
Lan Zhan comes forward, hesitating for a second. "May I?" Wei Wuxian, unsure of what he means, nods anyway.
Lan Zhan bends down, taking Wei Wuxian's wrist in his hand, presumably to check the flow of spiritual energy in his meridians. His touch is gentle, and so is his gaze when he meets Wei Wuxian's eyes. "Lan Biyu said you can rest in your bedrooms, if you so please. You need rest more than anything else."
Wei Wuxian sighs. "Resting is all I've been doing. If this was Yunmeng, I'd be out on a boat already or hunting pheasants. No one could stop me."
Lan Zhan raises an eyebrow. "I will accompany Wei Ying, if that's acceptable. Lan Biyu has prescribed a topical ointment for your sore body and some edible herbs to help you sleep."
Wei Wuxian frowns. "I wasn't aware that Lan Zhan was Lan Biyu's nurse."
"I am not. Only Wei Ying's." There's a glimmer of teasing in Lan Zhan's eyes as he gathers the pouches of stuff that has accumulated by Wei Wuxian's bedside, and then just stands there expectantly.
Wei Wuxian stares at him, and then gives in, swings his legs down and stands up. Lan Zhan immediately comes beside him to help him, a careful hand on Wei Wuxian's back. Wei Wuxian is reminded of the last time they were so close, and Lan Zhan's retreating back after.
Wei Wuxian presses his lips, "Lan Zhan, you don't have to feel obliged. I can take care of myself."
Lan Zhan's voice is quiet when he answers, "I am not obliged."
The mood shifts, they trudge to Wei Wuxian's room silently with a growing awkwardness between them. Wei Wuxian searches desperately for a way to smooth things over, he will grin and bear anything -even heartbreak- if it means that he gets to keep Lan Zhan's friendship afterwards.
They stop at Wei Wuxian's door and Lan Zhan is still there. Wei Wuxian turns, pasting a bright smile on his face, "I'll take your leave then. Thank you, Lan Zhan. Jiang Cheng mentioned that the only reason I am still standing is because of you. I am very grateful."
Lan Zhan blinks, he looks vaguely frustrated with himself and Wei Wuxian waits patiently for him to give words to his thoughts.
"Can I come in?" He finally asks, hesitant.
Wei Wuxian's eyebrows go up. "Sure. Come in, come in."
Wei Wuxian's room is the same cluttered nonsensical space that it was the last time Lan Zhan was here but it feels different this time, nerve-wracking.
Lan Zhan takes in the room carefully before his eyes settle on Wei Wuxian.
Nervous, Wei Wuxian bends to pick up a stray sock, his ribs -traitors that they are- start screaming at the motion and he must involuntarily wince because suddenly Lan Zhan is there, so close and pulling Wei Wuxian gently up by his arms.
Wei Wuxian brushes him off, distancing himself because the more Lan Zhan touches him the more off he feels. "Hahahaha, don't trouble yourself, Hanguang-jun."
Lan Zhan frowns in consternation, his hands still in the space that Wei Wuxian has evacuated, clenched around nothing, and for once Wei Wuxian is at a complete loss for what to say. The current stalemate is intolerable to them both apparently and some things must get buried before flowers can grow on them.
Wei Wuxian steels his heart and is about to break the silence, when Lan Zhan speaks, "I must ask Wei Ying to forgive me."
Wei Wuxian blinks, taken aback. "For what?"
The tops of Lan Zhan's ears are slowly turning red. "For taking advantage and kissing you when you were clearly drunk that night. My- judgement was clouded because Wei Ying is-" He stops, breath suddenly fast but eyes clear and sincere as he looks at Wei Wuxian, almost desperately.
The world has stopped spinning as Wei Wuxian stares back at Lan Zhan, uncomprehending. He grabs the hand that was just holding him, voice strangled, "Wei Ying is what? Tell me, Lan Zhan."
Lan Zhan visibly swallows, raises a hand to hesitantly cup Wei Wuxian's cheek, thumb right under his eye. "When Wei Ying is all I've ever, ever wanted."
Wei Wuxian loves to smile; there's his smile when he's causing mischief and his smile when he's inventing something, his Shijie smile and his Jiang Cheng smile and the smile he reserves for those rare occasions when he thinks about his parents on a donkey.
The smile that spreads across his face at Lan Zhan's words is one of his best, blooming from some place inside him that relaxes, that is finally home, at rest. He holds Lan Zhan's hand that is against his own cheek, squeezing those beloved fingers and Lan Zhan stares back, unblinking.
"Lan Zhan, what did you just say? Say it again."
Lan Zhan swallows. "That I am sorry?"
Wei Wuxian shakes his head, briefly kissing the hand that is within reach, a quick peck from his smiling mouth. "No, no, no sorries. After that."
Lan Zhan gazes at him, eyes unblinking and unbearably tender, and Wei Wuxian's heart is racing. Wei Wuxian's heart is home. "Wei Ying is- you are everything I have ever wanted and I always wish to be next to you."
Wei Wuxian laughs, there's a glassy film to his eyes as he impulsively throws his arms around Lan Zhan in a hug, squeezing him. "Lan Zhan! You make me so happy. I am not dreaming, am I?"
Lan Zhan is frozen in his arms until he relaxes minutely, quipping into Wei Wuxian's hair as he gently hugs him back, "It would be impossible for even Wei Ying's imagination to dream up this mess."
Wei Wuxian pouts. "Are you insulting my room decor? And I was just about to kiss you too."
"Wei Ying, stop joking."
Wei Wuxian pulls back, staring up at his face which still has a shadow of uncertainty to it. Oh that's right, Lan Zhan has just bared his soul to him and must be expecting an answer. "Lan Zhan, look at me."
"I am looking."
"Lan Zhan, you have nothing to apologise for. I wasn't drunk. Okay maybe a little drunk but I chose to kiss you with all my senses fully functioning. It was- the best thing ever, even though later I couldn't bear thinking about it because you ran away from me."
He sits down on the bed, pulling Lan Zhan right next to him. "You know, I was so miserable that Jiang Cheng wanted to send me back to Yunmeng."
Lan Zhan's face does a thing which means he's a little miffed about the Jiang Cheng mention and simultaneously upset at the idea of Wei Wuxian away from him. All he says is, "You miss Yunmeng."
"That's right! But I'd miss you more if I left you and if I do go to Yunmeng, I want to drag you there with me." He looks at Lan Zhan earnestly. "What I am saying is that I love you. Or in other words, I fancy you, I want you, I can’t leave you."
Lan Zhan is so still, almost frozen in response. Wei Wuxian wilts slightly, "Did I overwhelm you? Was that too much? Hahahaha, it's okay if you don't feel the same - mfft."
Lan Zhan has pushed him down on the bed, keeping his weight off Wei Wuxian's body but close enough to touch.
He kisses the corner of Wei Wuxian's mouth.
"Love you."
Kisses the tops of Wei Wuxian's cheeks, one by one.
"Fancy you."
Kisses his forehead.
"Want you."
Kisses Wei Wuxian's mouth, which is parted in need.
"Can't leave you."
Wei Wuxian surges up underneath him, kissing him back furiously, his hand in Lan Zhan's hair, taking apart his headpiece as he digs his fingers in.
"Lan Zhan, may I take off your forehead ribbon?" Wei Wuxian gasps between kisses.
Lan Zhan huffs out what is unmistakably a laugh against the crook of Wei Wuxian's neck. "And now he asks."
*