Work Text:
Time doesn’t exist for some people.
Kyou leaned against the wall of a shop. He hadn’t even paid attention to which one because it absolutely didn’t matter. Most shops were closed but across the street was a brightly lit diner, the warm light and comforting, familiar smells welcomed him to make his way over but he wasn’t ready yet.
What will I say? The question circled his mind until he was so uncertain his muscles felt locked. Everything was different… except her. Tohru laughed, chatted with people, mixed up orders and apologized with such zealous sincerity people could only smile. It had been a while but she hadn’t changed since he watched from the back of the room as she married some lucky bastard he couldn’t find a reason to hate.
Jealousy was nothing new and he’d really wanted a reason to pound the guy into mush but no amount of investigation had turned up anything. Shigure even hired a proper detective but the guy was as squeaky clean as Tohru herself. He was a genuinely good guy who made her happy. He wanted to object and he’d seen the same frustration in rat-boy’s eyes but both remained silent.
He knew she had kids now and worked crappy hours at a crappy job. It was impossible to tell for sure if she was actually happy or not but he was certain she was. She always found a way no matter how bad things really were.
Food did sound good but then things would be even more awkward and difficult. He couldn’t distract her and risk getting her in trouble. As clumsy as she was, he figured she probably walked a thin line between asset and liability where her boss was concerned. Oh well, he’d been killing time long enough Tohru would be heading home soon. That would probably be the best chance. Less other people to worry about, more time to settle everything.
What will I say? Kyou couldn’t exactly tell her he’d been homeless, wandering without any goal other than avoiding anyone in the Sohma clan. He sighed in annoyance. It was too late to really care, anyway. Everything had changed.
Except her. He watched as Tohru cheerfully said goodbyes to the last patrons and began the final cleaning. Time seemed to lose stability and the next thing he knew the restaurant was dark and Tohru was beginning the walk home. He didn’t know what to say, but he knew what to do. He crossed the street and walked just fast enough to gain on her. He watched her get more tense as she heard the footsteps behind her and the faintest smile tugged at his lips as he watched the telltale movements that signalled history repeating.
This time his hand intercepted the bag swung at his head - something he was grateful for as it impacted - this was a lot heavier than her school bag had been. Tohru’s fearful expression turned to shock then joy as she realized who he was.
“What have I told you about walking around late at night by yourself?” He snapped in the sharp tones of youth that now sounded so ugly in his ears. Still, the chance to relive a moment of a better time was nice. He’d give anything to walk home to a family and a good meal. Even if it meant having to look at that stupid rat.
“Kyou! Where have you been!?” She exclaimed, forgetting all about her utterly failed attempt to attack him. “I’ve been so worried! We all have! Everyone’s asking about you! Even people who don’t want to admit they’re worried…”
He snorted, old bitterness rising up. He pushed it back with long practice. “I’ve been around. It doesn’t really matter.”
“Of course it matters!” Tohru protested, brows knitting in an unusual show of deep concern that just didn’t look right on her usually smiling face. “I’m just glad you’re okay!”
“Better than okay today.” He assured her, pushing aside the memories of old wounds that no longer even mattered. There was something far more important to focus on. “I finally found something that will let me beat that damn rat once and for all. A victory he can’t take from me.”
“What? Really? I thought you guys set all that aside…” Her voice wavered with uncertainty, clearly concerned how this would play out. “And he’s living in England now…”
“That doesn’t matter. Only one thing matters now.” It wasn’t hard to remain solemn as his doubts reared up again. Before they could stop him, he stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. A tiny, panicked squeak escaped her but as the initial shock wore off, she reached up to carefully return the hug.
“You… you’re not transforming…?” Tohru managed softly.
“No. Not anymore. There’s a new Cat out there somewhere so I’m free.” He admitted, not letting go just yet. “I just stopped by because I’ve wanted to do this for so long… To hug you properly and say thank you. Thank you for everything, Tohru. I doubt you realize just how much you’ve done for me.”
“Oh, no! I didn’t do anything, really!” She protested. “You were always a great person, you just needed a little help to see that!”
“No…” With a soft sigh, he released her and took a step back. “I’ve never been a great person. Kinda decent but not great. Still, you helped me through a rough time in my life.”
“I’m glad I was able to play even a small part.” She smiled and the darkness seemed to shy away from her. “So tell me everything! What have I missed in your life the last few years?”
“Not much.” He shrugged and nodded for her to resume walking. He fell into step beside her. “Just wandering, you know. The past doesn’t really matter now, though. I have to look to the future. I don’t know how things will go so I wanted to see you once more just in case things go wrong.”
“What do you mean?” There was that uncertainty again when she looked at him.
“Don’t worry about it. Tell me about your life. Do you really like working that crappy job?”
“Oh! It’s not crappy at all!” She protested with a laugh, “I really like working the night shift here! There are a lot of great people who need someone to care about them. A lot of people feel isolated and even if they just get a cup of coffee, I have the chance to help them feel less alone for a while!”
“That sounds like your reasoning, all right.” He agreed. “What about your family?”
“Oh, well the kids are still young and working at night means I can spend all day playing with them! Will you come by tomorrow morning to meet them? I bet they’ll love you, too! I can make us a great breakfast!”
“I wish I could.” He considered giving it a few more days… it was his own schedule…. but he wasn’t here to rebuild old friendships. That and with this new ability to stay in one form, he had new forms of temptation to fight. Nothing good would come of him staying. Everything was different… but some things didn’t change. He was still alone and it had to stay that way for a while, at least. “I’ve got a lot to do, though.”
“Like what?” Tohru pressed. Kyou knew she wasn’t intentionally pushing for information, she was genuinely confused.
He sighed, might as well tell her. He knew she could be trusted with a secret and this needed to be kept quiet a little longer. “Like I said, there’s a new Cat. Somewhere out there is an infant with no idea what kind of life they’re going to be stuck with. I’m going to find the kid and get them to a safe place in the mountains away from the Zodiac members who will be assholes for no reason other than tradition. I hope their mother is overprotective because I can convince her to go along with my plan. If the poor kid got rejected… as soon as it’s safe I’ll kidnap ‘em and run. There’s a good chance you won’t see me again for a long time. Maybe never.”
“That sounds really… illegal…” Tohru cast him another worried look. “Surely there’s a safer way to help!”
“Not really. My only other choice would be trying to convince everyone to let me stay at the estate but the kid will still be bullied and treated like an idiot. A curse. Everyone deserves love and respect from their family. Family doesn’t necessarily mean people who share your blood, they’re people who have your back when you need help. You taught me that. I want to be real family to the Cat, someone who needs it most of all. Even if I fail and they find us, the kid will know someone gave enough of a damn to try.”
“Will I get to meet them? I bet you’ll find an adorable kitten who deserves lots of cuddles and wants to learn everything an-” Tohru’s meandering chatter ceased abruptly as, while daydreaming about kittens, she tripped on a crack in the sidewalk leaving her quite suddenly sprawled on the ground.
“You really don’t change much, do you?” Kyou grinned and helped her up.
“I guess not.” She agreed with an embarrassed smile as they resumed walking.
“When I know it’s safe, we may come visit. Supposing this succeeds. If not I”ll probably just end up in jail or something. It’s worth the risk. I don’t think I could live with myself if I just got on with my own life knowing what Cats go through. Try not to worry, though. I’m going to be careful. So far you’re the only other person who knows what I’m planning and I’m going to keep that number small. The less people are involved, the better.”
“You’ve changed a lot, Kyou.” Tohru noted. “You didn’t used to be so careful.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think, to figure out what my priorities should be and what I want from life.” He shrugged. “For a long time it felt like the world was mostly barred from me and now that it’s not… it doesn’t matter as much. I thought I wanted what I couldn’t have but now… what I need to do is clear.”
“What… what about love?” She asked, again those big eyes full of concern turned to meet his. “You can have that now. Doesn’t it matter?”
He looked away, scanning the street out of habit before looking to the ground in front of them. Anywhere but at her. She was happy and he didn’t want to get in the way of that. “I don’t really have time to think about that. Going out looking for someone just doesn’t make sense right now. I’ve gone this long without anyone else, I”ll be fine.”
As much as he tried to put confidence in his words, they felt flat to him. All he really wanted was for someone to see who he truly was and love him in spite of it but with the Sohma curse involved it just wasn’t going to happen. There were too many complications. Kid first, he’d think about himself once he knew the kid would be able to handle a world that would fear or loathe them.
“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.”
“This isn’t one of those times.” The gentle reminder was just that and he smiled a little in spite of himself.
“There’s someone out there, though.” She said with a confidence that made it sound like she knew this woman herself. “She’s lonely and miserable, thinking no one will ever love her. Someone who loves cats more than anything else!”
“Maybe, but she won’t be-” ...you… “-willing to drop her life to live in the woods far from most people for years at a time. I’m prepared for that. Don’t worry about me. I’ll still have a family, just a small one.”
“It still makes me nervous.” She admitted.
“Me, too.” He sighed, looking around. “Where do you live, anyway?”
“What? OH!” She spun around. “We walked right past it!”
He sighed and his heart broke a little more. How could something so irritating be so damned endearing? “Of course we did.”
They began the walk back through the neighborhoods. After a block Tohru grinned up at him. “It’s just like the old days, isn’t it? I missed having you or Yuki walking me home most nights. I miss a lot of things about those days.”
“Yeah… it was a simpler time but I was a lot more stupid back then. It’d be nice to go back knowing what I know now. I would have been a better friend to you just knowing how to control my temper.”
“You were a great friend!” She protested. “You pretended not to care but I always knew better!”
“You did always have a knack for seeing through bullshit.” He chuckled as they stopped in front of a simple but nice house. “I’ve missed you. I always will… but I think I learned what I need to teach a young Cat to be a good person, too. Thank you, Tohru.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay? Just a few days?” Tohru asked, eyes glistening as tears welled up. “I don’t want to say goodbye yet!”
“Then don’t. I’ll be back in a few years with a kid in tow.” He assured her with a slightly forced smile. “It’s not goodbye, just… see you later. Okay?”
She wiped at the tears, nodded, and hugged him tight again. He returned the hug, ignoring it as the door to her house opened and her husband stood watching.
Kyou didn’t hold her as long as he wanted to. He didn’t really want to let her go at all but there were plans to be made, favors to call in, possibly favors to do. He wasn’t entirely sure how he would pull this off but he had to.
With a wave to her husband, the lucky bastard, he turned and left the silently crying woman at the end of her walkway and headed for Shigure’s house. It was as good a place to start as any.
Kyou took a deep breath and released it. One life was over and a new one beginning. Time to shake up some traditions.