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Clarke and Lexa met in first grade after Lexa moved to the school from Washington. On her first day, Lexa ruined Clarkes art project by accident. To say they didn’t get along for a little after that was an understatement. That was until Raven told her about Bellamy telling Lexa she was cute, and her pushing him into the mud in response.
“Hey Lexa,” Bellamy said, walking up to her at the swings.
“I’ll do it again Blake,” Lexa responded without looking up from her book.
“I came to say sorry...” the little boy said, kicking the mulch at his feet.
Lexa looked up at him over her book, “Why?”
“Because Clarke said she’d punch me if I didn’t.”
“But she doesn’t like me,”
Bellamy shrugged in response, sitting down on the swing next to Lexa, “So whatcha reading?”
*Art class later that day*
“Thank you,” Lexa said, “For Bellamy.”
“You’re welcome,” Clarke replied, “Now tell me something… is his head too big?”
Lexa looked at the drawing Clarke held up, “ It kind of looks like Bellamy, but yeah his heads too big,”
“Perfect. Bellamy come here! I have something for you.”
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Second grade was hard on Clarke, and Lexa. The pair were inseparable, if one was somewhere the other wasn’t too far behind. When Jake ,and Abby got the call from Lexas aunt saying there was a car accident and her parents had passed and Lexa refused to talk to anyone but Clarke, they immediately went to the hospital. When they got there Clarke just sat there, while Lexa clung to her crying for hours.
The funeral was held a week later. A group of 7 and 8 year olds surrounding Lexa the whole time. The whole service Clarke never left Lexas side, or let go of her hand. As the Griffins were headed to their car after the funeral Indra, and Gustus approached them.
“Indra,” Abby said as she leaned in to hug the woman, “It was a beautiful service.”
“Thank you abby,” Indra responded, “but we seem to have a situation.”
“What’s wrong?” Jake questioned
“Well it’s Lexa…” Indra trailed off.
“I can’t imagine how she’s handling this poor girl. She’s always welcome over.” Abby said
“That’s what we’re here to discuss,” Gustus stated
“Lexa… She won’t move. She’s just sitting there between them. She’s asking for Clarke.” Indra said
Looking between the adults and then over at Lexa, who’s curled in a ball sitting between the two freshly covered graves, Clarke walks over to her. She sits down next to the girl, who immediately laid on her.
“You need to go home Lex… Aiden needs his big sister.” Clarke said
“He doesn’t get it. Plus, I am home.” Lexa sniffled into the other girl's shoulder.
“You can’t just live here. You’ll get hungry, and cold.”
Lexa picked up her head, and turned to Clarke. She grabs the blonde's hand, and puts their joined hands against Clarkes chest, “Home.”
Looking at their hands and back up at lexa “What?” She questions.
“They’re gone. No matter where I go it won’t be home. Unless you're there. You’re my home,” Lexa says tears falling down her cheeks.
Clarke stares for a minute then leans in hugging the girl, “Home” she says against her neck.
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Murphy kind of just showed up with Clarke one day during third grade. No one exactly knew where he came from, they weren’t even sure he was in their class at first. The first time he shows up to the Griffins, Jake and Abby aren’t really sure what to do with him. A scrawny little boy, that’s soaking wet and apparently knows your daughter, and says his mom locked him out. What are you supposed to do in that situation? Not knowing what to do they bring the boy in, and get him warmed up. Staring at this little boy in one of Jake's shirts and Bellamy's shorts, sitting on the couch with Clarke, they knew they’d never turn the boy away.
It was parent day at school. All the kids in their class had one, if not both, parents with them. Except Murphy and Lexa, they just sat off to the side.
“Where’s your parents?” Murphy asked the young girl.
“Dead,” She said, she was so used to saying it by now it didn’t affect her anymore, “You?”
“Dad’s gone. My mom hates me.” He said looking down.
“Why?”
“She blames me.” He says looking around at all the little kids and their parents.
That’s how they became friends, the shared pain of losing parents. Sure they both had clarkes parents who loved them, but it wasn’t the same.
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“Say it again Blake.” Lexa said, “Say it.”
The scene that the parents walked out to wasn’t the prettiest sight, to say the least. Lincoln and Anya off to the side watching; Clarke, Raven and Octavia all staring with arms crossed; Murphy and Wells watching from the sidelines not sure whether they should jump in and help or not; and finally, the stars of the show: Bellamy and Lexa. Lexa had Bellamy's arm twisted behind his back and holding his shoulder.
“What on earth is going on here?” Abby yelled walking off the patio
“Want to tell them pretty boy?” Lexa asked not lightening her grip on Bellamy's arm.
“I didn’t say anything wrong,” He grunted out through his teeth in pain
“Oh really?” She snarked, “So saying a woman's place is in the kitchen isn’t wrong?”
“Bellamy Blake!” Aurora yelled.
“Lex,” Clarke said softly walking up to the girl, “let him go”
Looking at Clarke, Lexa immediately lightened her grip, and Bellamy made a break for it. After that event, the adults started calling the annual 4th of july party the delinquents barbeque.
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“Clarke…. I’m dating someone…” Lexa said while fidgeting with her hands.
“Cool,” She responded.
“It’s Costia…..”
“Nice, she’s cute.” Clarke said, not looking up from her math homework.
“Wait, what” Lexa said in shock, “ I just told you I’m dating a girl and that's it?”
“What?” Clarke said, “ It’s not surprising, nor is it a big deal.”
“What do you mean it's not surprising? You’re not freaked out or anything?”
“Lexa,” Clarke laughed, finally looking up at her best friend, “ We’ve kissed. Plus i’m not dumb. You look at girls like you want to eat them.”
“Clarke…..” Lexa whined
“What? Plus I'm Bi so I couldn't care less who’s pants you're in Lex.”
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No one was surprised by most of the events of the next few years. Everyone knew Clarke and Lexa were applying to the same colleges and planning on getting an apartment together. tHe most shocking news was that Murphy and Bellamy had started dating, and that Costia had cheated on Lexa.
Lexa stayed in her room for about 2 months only getting up to go to classes. Clarke had brought her food to her room and would lay with her and let her cry on her shoulder when she needed it. It took her awhile but she got through it with Clarke by her side. She was her home and kept her safe.
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“Lex!” Clarke yelled from her bedroom.
“What?” Lexa answered, walking up and leaning on Clarkes door frame.
“Pick a dress,” She said holding up 2 dresses, one blue, and one black.
“For what?”
“I have a date tonight.” Clarke stated matter of factly.
“Oh…” Lexa trailed off. She knew she didn’t have a chance, but it still hurt. “Blue, it’ll bring out your eyes.”
“Thanks babe,” Clarke said walking past her to the bathroom.
“Yeah no problem…”
_________________
“What the fuck do you mean he cheated on you?” Lexa yelled after hearing what Clarke and Raven had just said.
Finn, the guy Clarke had been seeing for the past 3 weeks, was Raven's secret boyfriend. He used two of her best friends. They were nothing more than a game to him. Bastard.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Bellamy growled getting up and grabbing his coat, “Lex, Murph. Come on.”
“Bellamy. No.” Clarke said
“No? Clarke he hurt you. Both of you!” Bellamy yelled
“Enough! Blake, sit your ass down. You’re not doing anything.” Raven said leaving no room for discussion.
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“You gonna tell her?” Bellamy asked starting up the game.
“You know the answer Bell, she deserves better,” Lexa replied Staring down at her controller.
“Better? Lex, I doubt there’ll be anyone better,”
Taking a deep breathe and shooting the bellamy, who's character was in front of her, Lexa says, “Someone more stable, not as fucked up,”
“As fucked up as what Lex? As a girl who’s been through hell and back? But yet still manages to love someone so much despite that? Lexa...” Bellamy ranted eyes never leaving the screen.
“No, as fucked up as a girl who lost her parents. As a girl who’s been left too many times Bellamy. Clarke deserves more.”
“Everyones fucked up. But atleast with you, you'll be good for her. Hell, even Jake knows you’ll be good for her,” Bellamy smirks after shooting Lexas character.
“Fuck,” Lexa mumbles trying to get into cover, “Bellamy, I can’t. I’ll never be e-” Lexa started before Clarke made her appearance
“Okay guys. How do I look?” Clarke asks doing a twirl
Lexa looks up from the TV and sees Clarke. Wearing a light blue dress stopping above her knees and her hair is done up in an elegant bun. the only thing Lexa can think is "Beautiful". She quickly turns her attention back to the TV to save herself from doing something embarrassing. Like speaking her mind or getting caught staring.
“Ohh princess, got a hot date?” Bellamy said, glancing up from the TV where him, and Lexa were playing Call of Duty.
“Yeah, seems like you moved past Finn pretty fast,” Lexa said eyes still trained to the screen in front of her.
“Actually.” Clarke started, “It’s with Finn.”
“What do you mean it’s with Finn? Bellamy said looking up from the game
“Bell, Leave,” Lexa said
“What? Lexa no,”
“Go!” she yelled pointing towards her and Clarkes apartment door, eyes still trained on Clarke
“Bellamy, just go,” Clarke pinch the bridge of her nose and sighing, "I'll message you later okay"
Bellamy sighs, knowing arguing with Lexa when she's mad is useless. He turns and heads towards the door knowing Lexa will be on later and will tell him what happened.
Waiting to hear the click of the door Lexa looked at Clarke, "Seriously Clarke? Finn?"
"He's a good guy Lexa,"
"A Good guy. A good guy Clarke? Are you serious right now!" Lexa yelled, starting to pace the room.
Lexas phone chimes from the other side of the room. Knowing she needs to calm down, she walks to it, looking to see who it was.
Bellboy 5:38 pm
Tell her.
With a huff lexa throws her phone on the table.
"Lexa…" clarke trails off
"What Clarke? What do you have to say before you go off on a date with a piece of shit that's nowhere near good enough for you?" Lexas says raising her voice.
"He messed up, it's not like you've never messed up either Lex!" Clarke yelled back at her
"No Clarke he colossally fucked up! And you know what? I know I'm not perfect, but at least I've never cheated on someone I claimed I loved!"
"That's because you never take a chance!"
"I wonder why Clarke, because it's not like they leave in the end anyways! But guess what princess? This isn't about me. It’s about the fact that that sorry excuse of a man doesn't deserve you." Lex says her voice getting lower as she steps closer to Clarke stopping three feet away from her.
“Really Lexa? Everyone leaves huh? Guess I’m no one then, right? Right?” Clarke yelled as she stepped closer to Lexa
“That’s not what I meant and you know it! But like I said, this isn’t about me. It’s about you.”
“You want to talk about me? Fine let’s talk”
“He’s not a good guy Clarke. And after what he did to you and Raven? You just run back to him? How does Raven feel about this, or did you just not tell her?”
“Raven doesn’t need to know unless something starts,”
“Raven doesn’t need to know? Are you listening to yourself Clarke? After the bullshit Finn pulled on both of you? Oh but yeah Raven doesn’t need to know!” Lexa yells, this isn’t how she wanted this to go. It was supposed to be on her terms. When she was ready. But seeing how this is going, it’ll be sooner than she hoped. This is going to be the end isn’t it?
“What am I supposed to do Lexa?” Clarke yelled, “Want me to just call her up like ‘Oh hey Ray, yeah I have a date with Finn tonight, sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.’,”
“Honestly? Would’ve been better than nothing. Hell, would’ve been more than I got.”
“Oh my god! Seriously Lexa? What do you want me to do huh? Just stop and see if the perfect person walks up to me? I’m sorry that no one is up to your standards! Want me to just wait till someone as perfect as you shows up?”
“Maybe you wouldn’t have to wait if you’d just open your eyes and look around!” Lexa yells fighting back the tears at this point.
“What’s that supposed to mean Lexa?”
“It means I’m right here God dammit! IN front of you waiting for years Clarke! You just haven’t looked enough to see!”
“Lexa… I, I didn’t-” Clarke started
“No Clarke. You know what? It’s fine. I’m fine.” Lexa says, her resolve breaking, tired of fighting back the tears, “You wanna know why I never take a chance with people? You. Wanna know why Costia left? She said she could see how I felt for that, that because of you I didn’t give her enough. That's why she cheated. Why should I have to go out and find someone when the perfect girl is down the hall from me Clarke? But she doesn’t see what she’s worth Clarke. Even Jake saw it,”
“Dad saw it?” Clarke asked, voice cracking. She doesn’t understand how she could be this blind.
“He’s the one that pointed it out,”
“When?”
“Delinquent barbeque, summer before senior year,” Lexa said looking at the ground. Five years she’s kept it a secret from her best friend.
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July was always extremely hot in Arkadia. Why they always planned the delinquents barbeque, as the parents named it after the summer of sixth grade, during July Lexa would never understand. But who was she to complain? A full day just to hangout with her found family, with no responsibilities, before school starts? Sounds like paradise to her. The Griffins had the biggest yard of the group, plus a pool. So every year, on the Fourth of July, they crowd it. Not that they had a huge group anyways. It was smaller than other groups at their school, consisting of Lexa, and her family, the Blakes, Clarke, Murphy, Wells, and Raven. Jake always manned the grill, refusing to let anyone else touch it, while Abby and Aurora were in charge of sides, and Thelonious was in charge of making sure the kids didn't kill each other. With the amount of food that gets made, you’d think they’d be feeding a whole neighborhood, instead of a group of teens, but no food ever went to waste. And at the end of the night Thelonious and Jake set off fireworks. It was always Lexas favorite part of the summer.
This year felt different to Lexa. It was only two months till senior year starts, which means in a year from now they’d all be splitting off going to different colleges, except Octavia who still had a year left in Arkadia after they all left. They all planned on coming back every summer but how realistic was that? They had one more year all together, the thought was bittersweet.
Lexa walked over to Jake to see if he needed any help, but quickly being shot down. Him telling her it was their day. Lexa stayed to keep him company either way, eyes sneaking over to a certain blonde every few minutes. Clarke was laid out on one of the pool chairs laughing at whatever inappropriate joke, if the gestures that were made were enough of an indicator, that Raven made. She caught Lexas glances a few times, sending her a smile each time causing Lexa to bashfully look away red faced.
“You know I always said I was saving Clarke for the best man,” Jake said, coating a rack of ribs with sauce.
“What was that Mr Griffin?” Lexa asked looking at the side of his face
Jake chuckled, shaking his head, “Eleven years,”
“Excuse me?”
“Eleven years I’ve known you, which is Eleven years I’ve been telling you to call me Jake. You don’t listen, do ya?”
“Sorry Jake,” Lexa said clearing her throat
Letting out a booming laugh he shakes his head once again, slinging an arm around Lexas shoulder, “Don’t apologize Lex, it means you’ve got manners. What I was saying was that I always told people that I was saving Clarke for the best man.”
“And?” she questioned watching him flip the burgers.
“And I think I was wrong, I think really I was saving her for the best woman,”
“Wha- What do you mean?”
“I mean I’ve seen how you look at Clarke,” Jake started glancing at Lexa, noticing the panic on her face,” Hey, hey. Calm down kiddo. I’m not telling her, or anyone for that matter. I doubt you even realized it before now. But I’m her dad, it’s my job to protect her. So I notice certain things, things like this. I used to look at Abby the same way, hell I still get that lovesick puppy look when I see her. All I'm saying is you miss every shot you don’t take Lex. And this one? This one you won’t want to miss.”
“I-” Lexa started, looking over to Clarke, realizing that maybe Jake was right, “Thanks Jake,”
“Anytime kid,” Jake said, giving her shoulders a squeeze, “ and remember, just because I love you like youre my own kid, doesn’t mean I won’t come after you if you hurt her. I don't think I'll have that issue though.”
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“Lexa…” Clarke trailed off not knowing what to say.
“No Clarke,” Lexa said feeling drained, “He said he was saving you for the best man, and thought that maybe that was me. Honestly though I didn’t see it then, and I still don’t. Because you deserve more than anyone one can give you. More than some cheating asshole like Finn. And more than some broken girl like me. Even though I know you deserve more, I still think it should be me. Maybe because of how perfect you are. Or maybe im just fucking selfish Clarke. But what I do know is that when I talk to you it’s as easy as talking to Aiden. And when you roll your eyes at my stupid jokes it reminds me of mom. I don’t want to lose you to some jerk who thinks with his dick Clarke.”
“So where are we going to go from here?” Clarke asked tears rolling down her face.
“Don’t go.” Lexa says stepping closer to Clarke grabbing her hand.
“Lexa, I can’t-” She starts but gets cut off by the press of soft lips against hers, realizing what happened Clarke kisses back, “Wait Lex,” Clarke says, pulling back.
“Stay, Please just don’t go,” Lexa mumbles, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I’m right here Lex, right here,”Clarke responds, leaning back in kissing Lexa again.
The pair start walking backwards and fall onto the couch, causing the blonde to giggle. Clarke leans up to reconnect their lips, and bites Lexas lower lip asking for entrance. Lexa opened her mouth, moaning when her tongue met Clarkes. Clarke pulled away, hands reaching down and pulling her shirt over her head. Watching Lexas reaction, Clarke notices her eyes going a very dark green, right before she dives into her neck, sucing and biting on her pulse point, earning a moan from Clarke.
“Wait, Lexa.” Clarke said waiting for Lexa to pull away from her neck, “Not here. Bedroom.”
“Are you sure Clarke?” Lexa questioned, staring into Clarkes eyes looking for any sign of hesitation.
“More than anything.” She answered, pulling Lexa to her room down the hall.
Stopping in the doorway Clarke pulls Lexa into a kiss that quickly becomes heated. Walking Lexa backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed causing her to sit.
Lexa looks over at the phone that’s laying Clarkes bed when she hears it ring, “Finns calling.”
“Fuck Finn” Clarke laughs picking up the phone and denying the call.
“I think I’d rather fuck you.”
Lexa watched Clarkes eyes go dark blue from arousal, and she smirked “Then get to it Commander.”
Smirking, Lexa pulls Clarke down connecting their lips.
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Waking up next to Clarke is the best feeling in the world to Lexa. Trying to sneak out of bed was a harder task. Clarke was a cuddler, something Lexa always knew since their first sleepover in second grade after her parents passed. This time felt different, this time was different.
Lexa inched her way out of Clarkes grasp, reaching down and putting on Clothes. Walking out of the room, She stops and turns around. Lexa stands there watching Clarke. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s seen. Clarkes hair splayed out across the pillows, the sheets covering right below the dip of her back.
Lexa tip-toes down the hall, headed to the living room. Sitting down on the couch, she turns on the TV and the Xbox. Lexa joins Bellamy’s party, knowing he’s going to want to know what went down after she kicked him out.
“You’re alive!” Bellamy yelled when it connected
“Yeah, what game are we playing?” Lexa asks
“Black Ops.” Murphy answers.
“Alright cool give we a sec to set up.”
“So what happened?” The other boy questioned.
Lexa spent the next hour or so telling them what happened, the duo interrupting every few minutes to either yell at eachother or ask questions.
“Murph, I swear to god if you don’t stop fucking shooting me…” Lexa growled into the mic, “ Dude what the fuck we’re on the same team!”
“Lex?” Clarke calls out from the hallway
Lexa looks up seeing Clarke standing in the hallway in her hoodie, “Oh shit did I wake you?”
Clarke shuffled to the couch and lays down with her head in Lexas lap, She yawns out, “No, I had to pee.”
“Oh okay,” Lexa said brushing Clarkes hair out of her face, and leaning down to kiss her head
“Oh shit Lex watch out!” Bellamy yelled, making Lexa look up.
“Murphy you fucking cockroach!” Lexa yelled, hearing Clarke snicker, she looks down, “What?”
“Raven?” Clarke questions Lexs use of the term ‘Cockroach’ towards Murphy
“Go back to sleep.” Lexa responded, eyes returning to the screen, earning another laugh from the blonde.
“Murphy stop fucking cheating! Eyes on your own screen.” Bellamy yells at his boyfriend, “Lexa stop being so fucking gay with Clarke and help me out here.”
“I’m the gay one? How many times have you blown Murphy today Bell?” Lexa snarked at the boy causing Clarke to howl out in laughter.
“Well….” Murphy started
“I swear to god if you finish that sentence,” Bellamy growled at his boyfriend
“Hey Bellamy, turn around,” Lexa said, sneaking up behind him
“You bitch!” he yelled right after turning around being killed by Lexa.
“Good job Lex,” Murphy laughed making Bellamy grumble.
Looking down to ask Clarke if she saw what she did she sees the girl had fallen back asleep. Lexa brushes the hair out of Clarkes face and just stares for a minute. Clarke lets out a loud snore causing Lexa to chuckle.
“You just fucking giggled,” Murphy said, making Lexa immediately shut up, mumbling out an apology, “I’m guessing Clarkes still in there?”
“Yeah,” Lexa said clearing her throat, “She kinda fell back asleep with her head in my lap.”
“You really love her, don't you?” Bellamy asked.
Looking down at the girl asleep in her lap she thought back. How Clarke had been there for her when her parents died, how she was the first person to know she was gay. Clarke was her first kiss. Lexa loved her before she really knew what love was. Right now in this moment, she’s staring at her past, present, and future. Her home. Her whole world lying there in her lap. Maybe they don’t know where they’re going to go from here, but Lexa can't wait to find out.
Smiling to herself, Lexa opens her mouth to speak, “Yeah Bell, I really do. I think I always have without realizing it.”