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Asra was more used of being the one who took care of the others, it didn't bother him in the slightest: it was just something so natural that he didn't even question it. Making sure that Muriel was taking care of himself, preparing remedies for Nadia's headache and obviously pampering his lover.
He liked taking his lover in his arms, petting their hair and peppering kisses on their face, cooking them their favourite dish or washing their hair in the bath. He loved them so much that nothing could bring him more joy. Some would say that his behaviour was the result of the sacrifice of half his heart, leaving him with difficulties to feel the same range of emotion as before. It was indeed different with his beloved: everything seemed stronger, brighter as if his love for them didn't seem to be affected by the bargain where his emotion for the other, even the closest of his friends, was always so dimmed and dull.
He was used to it and if before it used to pain him a lot, especially because they couldn't remember him. He never held grudges of their amnesia, it was not their fault and it was finally behind them but how lonely he was during this time. That was why he would disappear for weeks at a time, leaving them behind. Even if it was a torture all along. Hell, he couldn’t say if leaving them did him better that being with them.
Lately, however, he was more tired than usual, not only physically but mentally too. He was on the verge of a mental breakdown nearly all day, getting slightly better only when cuddling in bed with his lover. They would always find the word to calm him down, even if they didn’t know the extent of his pain.
Right now, for example, he was sobbing hysterically on the floor, curled up in a ball against the wall. Big tears running down his cheeks, drowning his whole face. He couldn't help it, he tried everything to make it stop, even stopping breathing for a few second, but it only had him to bawled even harder, his through spiralling dangerously.
He couldn't handle loud noises or being alone for too long, things that he didn't care of before. He tried to hide it from the others : he would hate to have them worried over him, especially his beloved. It was so selfish of him to expect his lover to take care of him now that they were reunited with their past, now that they knew who they were.
More than that, he just didn't understand why now in those three years. He should be delighted: his beloved did get some of their memories back, they did stop Lucio and The Devil's plan and they were finally together in every sense.
He should be living his true life right now.
But Asra was upset and was hating himself for it: he should be enjoying his time with his lover, travelling with them, showing them all the beauty out there and make love every so often. Instead, he was forced to take more and more nap to balance his weariness leaving them to handle the shop alone, as always. He was making sure to put a mask in front of his lover or his parent, he didn't want to worry them even more, it would be selfish.
A loud bang made him raise his head from his hands to sink his eyes into his beloved's one. They looked distressed causing a pang of culpability in Asra's chest. He was supposed to protect them and make them happy, not making them look so sad. They were holding a restless Faust in their arms.
He could feel how worried she was: « Asra sad »
His lover approached him before kneeling near him and reaching out for him. Asra couldn't help but melt in their embrace. He was still bawling but tried to stifle the noise in their shoulder.
« Sweetheart. Take a deep breath, you're doing amazing. You know I love you my little wonder. »
They were muttering sweet nothing to ground him here, with them, and calm him down, patting lightly the fluffy hair of Asra. Faust was helping in her own way, squeezing him lightly to give him comfort, her tongue flickering near his cheek.
« Asra, love, my heart, try to match your respiration with mine.» they said, tracing soothing circles on his back. He took several long minutes but Asra finally calmed down, sniffling in the crook of his neck, refusing to show his face.
Using a little bit of magic to make him lighter, the young magician lifted him easily, making him giggle lightly as always when he was carried around. Enjoying the sound, the apprentice swirled to make him happier, he did work to some extent as Asra finally raised his head from their neck to finally look at them in the eyes.
The sigh nearly broke his heart, or at least the one that Asra did share with him. He looked so tired with heavy bags under his eyes, red from crying so hard. His mouth was a little bloody and chipped and his hair a greasy mess, an uncommon occurrence as Asra absolutely loved nothing more than taking bath after bath, given his affinity with water. How did they not see it? When did his lover begin to look so miserable?
They pecked multiples kisses on his face, making him smile lightly.
“ Let me put you in a hot bath and take care of you, you deserve it love.”
He nodded, feeling a little self-conscious about his appearance even if he knew that his lover didn’t mean it as a criticism, most likely he wanted him to do some self-care. Struggling a little bit to keep him in their arm, the apprentice extended their hand to the stove salamander before finally climbed the stairs with visible difficulty. Asra took pity on his lover :
“ You can put me down you know? ”
“ No, I want you to feel loved so you're not putting a foot on the floor for the next hours. “ Asra brushed his lover’s lips with his, feeling so overwhelmed by their love for him and his love for them like he could feel both at the same time.
They finally get into the bathroom, the smell of fresh citrus and medicinal plants all enhanced Asra’s sense and making him feel more at ease. It was his favourite place in all the shop. The one he could spend hours into, playing with Faust in the water or napping in the bathtub. They were going to take a moment with each other, maybe it was time for them to walk away from Vesuvia for a bit, as much he wanted to be with his parents, he couldn’t bear the sign of the palace, of the Lazaret or the city by itself. Not for the moment.
At least they would be together.