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Some Things Cannot Be Taught

Summary:

Magnus tries to teach the Lightwoods to cook. It....doesn't go well.

Notes:

Prompt by Lakritzwolf for Magnus Bane Birthday Bash: Magnus B-day prompt: He tries to teach Izzy (and maybe Alec) how to cook. Emphasis here lies on "tries".

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Magnus blinked at the not-small fire currently taking place on his stove and turned to Isabelle.  


She held up her hands.  “I was just doing what you told me.  I swear.”  


Magnus looked back at the fire that had currently taken over two burners and was working on a third.  They weren’t even on.  “Isabelle, how did you light anything on fire?” 


Isabelle waved towards the stove.  “I don’t know!  Can you, you know, put it out?” 


Magnus stared at the flames in morbid curiosity.  “I could, but I am sincerely tempted to find out if they are magical since I still don’t know how you managed to create them.”  


Izzy pouted at him and slapped him on the shoulder.  “Rude.”  


“Only truth, my dear,” Magnus said, waving his fingers quickly, extinguishing the flames that had been starting to climb too high.  He looked over his shoulder where he could see Alec trying not to smile as he worked on his tablet.  “Don’t think I can’t hear you laughing back there, Alexander.”  


“You’re the one trying to teach Izzy to cook, Magnus.”  


Magnus raised his nose in the air.  “I refuse to believe that anyone can be that bad at cooking.”  


Izzy raised a hand.  “I can.”  


Magnus shook his head and put his hands on his hips.  “You can create magical fires out of nothing, but you are not that bad at cooking.  The Institute would have burned down long ago if you were.”  


“That has more to do with the speciality fire alarms we have in the kitchen,” Isabelle said, wincing.  “And the rule that I can’t cook without someone else in there.”  


Magnus turned incredulous eyes to Alec.  “Seriously?”  


Alec lifted both of his hands.  “I have long since accepted that this is Izzy’s one weakness and is the only reason she is so badass in so many other areas.”  


Isabelle gave her brother a grateful grin.  “Love you, hermano.”  


Alec winked at her.  


Magnus looked between them both.  “Okay, we’re going to try again, and this time I’m not going to leave the room, so there won’t be anymore accidental fires.”  


Izzy sighed. 


Alec lifted his eyes to Magnus and smiled.  “I love you for trying.”  


“I refuse to only try, Alexander,” Magnus said, focusing on Isabelle.  “Now, let’s try again, from the top.  You have the instructions?” 


Izzy held up the recipe card.  “Yessir!”  


~!~ 


This time it was ten minutes before there was an impromptu fire taking place on the stove and Alec barely managed to stifle his laugh.  


“I think you’re part warlock, my dear,” Magnus said, staring at the flames once again starting to consume his stove.  


Izzy sighed and slumped.  “I’m a lost cause.”  


“I would never call anyone a lost cause,” Magnus said with a huff.  “However, I think, darling, you might need to accept that this is never going to be an area where you have success.”  


“Yeah,” Alec said, sneaking up behind her to give her a hug.  “You’re going to have to accept being a brilliant Shadowhunter, badass Weapons Master, best Forensic Scientist in New York and best sister.  Sorry to break it to you Iz.”  


Izzy smiled and leaned into Alec’s shoulder.  “I guess I don’t need to add Master Chef to that list, do I?” 


Magnus looked at his stove and the blackened pot that he disappeared with a flourish.  “I think fate simply won’t allow it, Isabelle.”  


Izzy stifled her laugh into Alec’s shoulder, grinning.  “Well, thank you for trying anyway, Magnus.”  


Magnus winked at her.  “Now, how about I summon us lunch from my favorite bistro in Paris?” 


“Sounds great,” Izzy said, her mouth watering at the idea.  

 

Notes:

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