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Brave Enough
"What do I do, what do I do..?"
Bernadetta wished she could bury her face deep within the wooden cafeteria table. Her mind was rampant with confusion and her chest feeling as if it were about to burst. She had spent the better part of the day with Raphael, the towering mass of a man kindly joining her for their usual picnic. But today had been different for dear ol' Bernie. Raphael hadn't looked as scary as usual to her. His once intimidating figure and size no longer brought her discomfort.
Instead, she felt warm in his company. Bernadetta had continued to cook their meals for them, looking for different ways to try and surprise Raphael. He was so taken by her sweet and sour pork the first time, she started to experiment with other recipes of similar taste. All had been received happily by the blond giant, cleaned to the bone. Seeing Raphael smile and talk about life after war made Bernadetta's heart race with happiness.
Especially when he mentioned looking forward to more meals made by her. Meaning he didn't plan on taking off on her when it was all over.
Okay, Bernie. Don't get too excited. It's not like it's meant in… that sorta way. Whatever that sorta way is! Bernadetta's face heated up as her thoughts began to race.
"Oh, hey Bern! Is everything alright?" Bernadetta's head shot up, but she relaxed when she saw that it was Dorothea and Petra.
"O-Oh, hi you two… I'm doing nothing but… thinking about how stupid I'm being, that's all…" Bernadetta put her face back on the table.
"Why are you thinking that way? We do not think you to be stupid," Petra asked. Bernadetta raised her head when she felt the two girls take a seat on each side of her.
"She's right. Now why don't you tell your big sisters what's wrong, Bern?" Dorothea stroked her back soothingly. Bernadetta would be lying if it wasn't working.
"Well… so there's this guy… who-who I've been getting along with…"
"Oh, would that happen to be Raphael?" Bernadetta felt her face heat up once Petra said his name. "We have been noticing you to be spending much time with him! Does thas have the meaning I think it does?"
"W-Well-"
"Oh, Bern! I'm so happy for you!" Dorothea pulled the smaller girl into a tight embrace. "I never thought it would be Raphi of all people, but he's rather nice from what I've seen!"
"I-I don't know if it's like that, though!" Bernadetta whined, shifting her head away from Dorothea. "I mean he's… really scary looking, and big, but… really nice and gentle… he helped me try and get over my fear of talking to people too, and… well…"
"You are sounding quite taken, Bernadetta. Am I not right?" Petra grinned at Dorothea, the beautiful brunette giggling her agreement.
"Oh, definitely. Looks like you've been hit with a love bug, Bern." Dorothea stroked the top of Bernadetta's head.
"S-So I am? I… I guess you're both right…" Bernadetta leaned into the songstress as her face heated up. "Oh, what do I do?! I said some mean things to him before, and he probably still thinks about it! There's no way he feels the same!"
"Oh, Bern. You know that's not true. I don't know him as well as you do, but anyone who's met Raphael knows he wouldn't hold a grudge over anything. Especially something small like that." Dorothea's words did bring her some reassurance in the wake of her fears.
"Yes. And you are knowing Raphael better than many. Do you really think he is the type to be holding grudges?" Petra asked her.
"W-Well, maybe… no, no you're right. Raphael's too nice to do that.." Bernadetta's inner turmoil began to ease as she thought of the gentle giant's kindness before. "He even tried to take the blame before for scaring me…"
"Exactly. See? Nothing to be afraid of." Dorothea encouraged her again.
"Maybe, but… I still don't know if he feels the same." Her anxiety returned like a storm, Bernadetta gripping at the sides of her head. "What if he doesn't?! What if I tell him and things get really weird? He'll never talk to me again, and he'll leave and-"
"Bern, look at me." Dorothea took her face between her soft hands, turning Bernadetta's head to face her. "I can't say for sure if Raph likes you or not. The trials of love often start with finding out if the other person feels the same."
"Indeed. Before Ashe had professed his love for me, I was not feeling sure that he had the same feelings as I did." Petra stroked Bernadetta's shoulder. "I was very fortunate that he confessed to me first. But that fear of scaring him away was still there. But I did plan on telling him."
"I'm sure Felix felt the same way when he confessed. He was a mess, you should have seen it." Dorothea giggled.
"S-So I should be scared?!" Bernadetta asked in disbelief.
"Yes. You never know for sure what someone's going to say. But you also won't achieve anything if you let that fear stop you." Dorothea declared, rubbing her shoulder tenderly. "You just have to be brave enough to take a chance. You may not get the answer you want… but if you do, you'll find no greater happiness." Dorothea's eyes drifted to the ring she adorned as a promise to Felix, a content smile working its way on her lips.
"Brave enough..?" Bernadetta mumbled, looking at Dorothea's smile. It was clear as day that the songstress had been in a positive mood for some time now, her and Petra. Both girls were often seen with their lovers walking through the monastery. Comfortable and content. Happy.
Bernadetta wanted that. And she could imagine that being her and Raphael. Despite their rather noticeable difference in size.
"Okay… I'm going to do it! I'm going to tell him how I feel!" Bernadetta declared, swallowing a nervous lump in her throat despite her newfound confidence. She stood there in the same pose for several seconds before pursing her lips. "Um… sh-should I just say it straight out?"
"Well, you're welcome to do that. But sometimes it's better to set the mood first." Dorothea giggled. "Why don't we come up with a plan of attack?"
"Yes! It might be making it easier for you to confess your feelings should you build up to it!" Petra nodded in agreement. "Allow us to help you."
"Oh-thank you both! I really don't know what I should do…"
Okay, Bernie… you can do this…
Bernadetta took a deep breath as she laid out the finely quilted blanket that she always laid out for her picnics with Raphael. She set the basket down on the edge, trying to position it perfectly in place.
"Right there… Wait, maybe more toward the middle?" she fidgeted back and forth with the basket, biting her bottom lip in frustration. "No, no, no! What are you thinking, Bernie?! It won't be perfect if I don't set this just right!"
"Oh, hey Bernadetta! You're here early!"
Bernadetta let out a small scream when she heard Raphael's voice behind her. "R-Raphael! Don't sneak up on me like that! How were you so quiet in the first place?!"
"Oh, I've been taking lessons from Shamir on how to move around real quiet! Sorry about that," Raphael laughed, rubbing the back of his head.
Bernadetta felt a pang of jealousy to hear that he had been spending time with Shamir. Not that she wasn't aware before, Raphael had explained to her during dinner once that he wanted to learn how to be stealthy like her. Generally the idea would have terrified Bernadetta, but now she could only focus on the fact that he and Shamir still worked together.
"W-Well, you don't really need to do that! It doesn't really suit you anyway…" Bernadetta grumbled, rubbing her arm.
"Yeah, that's what Shamir was tellin' me too. Guess I'll just focus on bein' me like usual." Raphael laughed. "So, what were you doing here so early? I thought we were meeting in a half hour."
"I-I could say the same to you!" Bernadetta thought she was being slick by turning the tables back on him. "Wh-What are you doing here early?!"
"Oh, I was really hungry but wanted to wait for your delicious dinner! So I just came here to train while I wait for you!" Raphael held a fist up in front of him.
"O-Oh, I see…" Bernadetta's plan didn't work out so well, so she decided to come clean. "Sorry… I was just here early to try and set up for dinner…"
"Huh, really? You don't usually come early to do that." Bernadetta stiffened. D-Does he know? "Ah, I get it! You were real hungry too, weren't you?"
"Y-Yes, definitely! That's all it was!" Bernadetta quickly grasped to his excuse with a desperate laugh. "You~ got me!"
"Heh, it happens to all of us! Say, since we're both here, why don't we start early?" Raphael suggested.
"R-Right now?! W-Well, I… guess that's fine…" Bernadetta looked down at the blanket, unsure if it was as perfect as she wanted it to be.
"Great! Let's take a seat and dig in!" Raphael plopped down on the blanket, legs criss crossed under him.
Okay, Bernie… you've got this. Bernadetta took a comfortable place across from him, the basket at the side between them. "So, um… do you mind if I set some candles?"
"Candles? I don't mind. Do you think we need the light?" Raphael asked, looking at the setting sun.
"Y-You never know how long we'll be out here!" Bernadetta suggested, pulling out the candles that Dorothea had provided her with. She slowly drew them out of the picnic basket, setting them up between them.
"Guess you're right about that!" Raphael didn't seem to suspect a thing. Bernadetta would thank her ever present anxiety for him not suspecting much.
"E-Exactly! Now, let's eat!" She quickly produced their food. A fine dish of slow roasted teriyaki beef, a recipe given to her by Petra. On the side was a bowl of rice with some veggies. "I-I hope you like it. This was something new I thought I'd try…"
"It smells amazing! Give it here," She handed Raphael a plate, happy to see him use the fork given to him with it. He took a big bite out of the meat, letting out a moan of pleasure.
"Oh, man! It's sweet like one of those other dishes, but… kinda different? Like a juicy, salty sweet? It's awesome!" Bernadetta was pleased to hear him praise her cooking. She spent some time getting it just right over and over again.
"I'm really glad you like it! Eat as much as you like." She nibbled on her own plate, not quite as hungry as her much larger friend.
"Don't mind if I do!" Raphael pulled at another chunk of meat with his teeth, picking up his napkin and wiping his face gingerly everynow and then. "You're really something, Bernadetta! I really can't get enough of your food!"
"O-Oh, it's nothing… I'm just happy you enjoy it…" Bernadetta bashfully twirled at her hair, focusin on her plate with a heavy blush.
"I'm serious! It means a lot to me that you keep coming up with different foods!" She drew her gaze back up to Raphael, feeling her heart pound in her chest as he grinned like a big oaf. "You used to be afraid of the sight of me, but now we're best chums, eating together all the time! I'm really proud of you."
His words brought forth a warm and fuzzy feeling in her stomach, nearly reducing Bernadetta to tears. But she held strong, smiling back at him tenderly. "You've done a lot to help me too, Raphael. And I… I really appreciate your patience with me. Thank you…"
"Of course! If you ever need my help, you can always ask. We're friends, after all."
I… I want us to be more than that. Bernadetta admitted to herself, squirming in place.
"You~ are the ocean~s gray waves, destined to seek, Life beyond just out of reach~,"
Bernadetta's head snapped up, her and Raphael seeing Dorothea in the distance by a broken wall. Ah! A-Are we starting this part now?! I-I'm not ready!
"Oh, hey! It's Dorothea!" Raphael smiled. "Sure is a pretty song she's singin' huh?"
"Y-Yeah. Very pretty…" Bernadetta played with the edge of her skirt, looking at Dorothea hesitantly. The beautiful songstress met her eyes, giving a wink as she continued to sing.
"Yet the waters~ever change. Flowing like time. The path is yours to climb~."
Bernadetta held her gaze, feeling her resolve to confess return. With a determined nod, she stood to her feet. "U-Um! Raphael?"
"Hm? What's up Bernadetta?"
Her knees knocked below her, but Bernadetta held strong "W-Would you like to… dance? You know, since she's… singing?"
GAH! That was terrible, Bernie! You weren't supposed to ask like-
"Sure! Sounds like fun!" Raphael rose to his feet, causing Bernadetta to blink owlishly.
"R-Really? You don't mind?"
"Nah, why would I? It's been a while though so I hope it goes okay." Raphael extended his hand to her, Bernadetta looking at it tentatively. She slowly put her tiny hand into his massive one, and was surprised how gentle he was when gripping it. He led her away from the blanket, the two now standing in the orange hued light that slowly descended behind the mountains.
"Alright! Ready?" Raphael asked. Bernadetta gulped, nodding quietly. She had practiced a bit with Dorothea and Petra, but she wasn't confident in her ability to dance. Still, the girls insisted that she dance.
And to her shock, Raphael knew the arm and hand positioning, keeping his hand gently to her back while the other grasped her hand. With slow steps, the two began to waltz. Bernadetta felt like she could explode from the heat rising in her face, but was blown away by his ease of movement.
"Wow, Raphael… you're actually good at dancing…" Bernadetta mumbled out, keeping her eyes focused on his rather muscular chest. She had to divert them to their feet when she found herself a little too interested in it.
"My sis used to make me dance all the time. Said somethin' about it helpin' me become a knight? I don't know how true it was, but it was a lot of fun." Raphael's voice was relaxed, easing the tension she felt in her shoulders. "You're not too bad either! Most people have I'm so big."
"Hehe… yeah, I could see that happening." Bernadetta giggled, looking up at Raphael in adoration.
"In the white light~, a hand reaches through~. A double-edged blade cuts your heart in two~"
As the song began to pick up speed, Bernadetta and Raphael's pace did as well. She felt butterflies in her stomach, giggling as they moved back and forth. Raphael laughed as they danced, the light from the sun fading and the candlelight becoming what illuminated the area around them. As the song began to close, Bernadetta found herself leaning forward into his chest, his body warm as her cheeks.
"I could dance like this forever… if… if it was with you." Bernadetta's voice trembled, but she kept her hold on him, hand tightening in his.
"Hehe. That doesn't sound bad to me! Though I guess we'd get tired dancing forever." Bernadetta giggled at his naivete. She never minded that in him.
"Maybe… but even if we couldn't dance forever, would you…" Bernadetta released a quaky breath, summoning her courage. Be brave Bernie..
"Would I what?" Their waltzing place slowed, and they steadily rocked back and forth. Bernadetta slowly raised her head, meeting his eyes completely.
"Would you… be willing to be with me forever?" Bernadetta trembled like a leaf in his arms, almost using him as a crutch to stay standing. Raphael was taken off guard by her words, face hiding none of his awe. D-Did I… mess-
"Sure! I wouldn't mind that at all!"
Bernadetta's shaky heart suddenly felt like it would leap out of her chest. "R-Really?"
"Sure! I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you, Bernadetta! Heck, we should get married so that we can!" Raphael said it with such ease that Bernie herself was taken aback.
"R-Really?! J-Just like that?!"
"Uh yeah. I mean, if you're up for it!" Raphael's dumb grin persisted, overwhelming Bernadetta with its purity. "But we can take it slower if that's what you want."
"F-F-For now, let's take it slow, b-bu-but…" Bernadetta leaned into his chest again, smiling ear to ear. "I-I'm… so happy to hear that… really…"
"Me too! I honestly didn't realize I felt like this until you said something!" Raphael laughed, his chest rising with it. "The idea of it just made me really happy and wanna stick with you all the time!"
"G-Good… because I do too…" Bernadetta giggled, looking back up at Raphael with an earnest smile. "Thank you, Raphael…"
"Of course. You've made me real happy just now. In fact!" Bernadetta squealed as Raphael hoisted her up bridal style. "I just might dance forever with you! Come on!"
"W-Wait, Raphael! Ahh~!"
Despite her initial screams in protest, Bernadetta soon laughed as Raphael spun them around, the large man dancing back and forth with her. Dorothea had stopped singing some time ago, but she remained and watched the two bask in their newfound love for some time.
The End…