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He’d never act on it.
Never.
Tsunemori Akane is the top inspector of division 1, his boss nonetheless, and the young enforcer holds her in very high regard.
Still..
Hinakawa can’t help but love her. Akane is an amazing person, truly.
But it’s nice to imagine. During the quiet hours in the office, when it’s just the two of them, he’ll sneak a glimpse of her between reports and other paperwork.
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He kisses her one day. Out of the blue.
Hardly a kiss — a quick peck. It lasted only a second, but the silence that follows feels as if it’ll last forever.
His hands are shaking, no — scratch that, his whole body is.
“I - I..” His voice fails him as it normally does when he tries to voice his thoughts. “I - I don’t know why I did that..” voice faltering, he can’t bring himself to meet her gaze anymore, and he finds his eyes fixed to either the floor, the monitor, or the ceiling fan. Anything but her.
While he fails to explain himself his mind is going a thousand miles an hour thinking of the repercussions he could face .
I’ve overstepped my boundaries, I’m going to be let go from division 1. They’ll transfer me to a different division. Worse— I’ll be let go. And then..
I won’t be able to see Akane anymore.
Apologies muddled with half baked excuses stumble from his mouth. “F-Forgive me!” Hinakawa bows his head low. Red hair shields his vision from seeing her expression. “I- I-” His breath hitches in his throat. He can feel a panic attack coming on. I need my meds. “I don’t know why I did that.. I’m sorry, I.. I stepped out of line — ”
“Hina — ”
“I — I’lll take full responsibility for my actions! I’ll face suspension, or you can transfer me to a different division! Just — just don’t send me back!”
“Hinakawa-kun!”
A soft hand tilts his head back toward her. He’s not sure what he was expecting. Anger, perhaps.. maybe even disgust, but no. Her eyes are soft, softer than Hinakawa has ever seen them. Soft, with what? He’s not sure. He can’t place the emotion he’s seeing, but it’s enough to make him forget what he was thinking about. Her lips part for a moment as if to speak, but she stops herself.
This might be the first time he’s seen the inspector at a loss for words Hinakawa thinks. Her face is still so close, he can see the golden flecks that light up her doe eyes, long lashes, and delicate lips. They look soft, he thinks. They are, he remembers.
“Hinakawa-kun” and the moments over. She pulls away. Dragging him back down to Earth. “I’m sorry, you shocked me for a moment, you’re a very kind person Hinakawa-kun but — ”
but..
“personal relationships between enforcers and inspectors are forbidden.”
but not unheard of.
“I’m flattered but let’s keep things professional between us, alright?”
“..Of course”
She smiles a sad smile, and returns to her desk, saving the document she had been working on before logging out. Hinakawa meanwhile begins clicking absentmindedly at his computer, still ripe with embarrassment as Akane — no Inspector Tsunemori gathers her things.
She’s just at the door when she stops and turns. Why isn’t she leaving? He stands from his desk to meet her halfway.
“Just once.. okay?” Hinakawa has no idea what she means, but he finds himself nodding along. She reaches up and cups his face, brushing his hair out of his eyes with an affection he’s not sure he’s ever felt. It almost makes him cry. Tentatively, the enforcer reaches out and grips her arms. He wants to touch her, even if it’s just a little. He pulls her in closer, savoring the feeling of her petite form flush against him. “Just once, I promise.” Though he’s not sure he’ll be able to stay true to his words. The enforcer waits for her to kiss him this time. When she does, it’s sweet and gentle and just what his heart needs.
Hinakawa is not a fearless man, but at this moment he’s feeling brave, maybe even a little bold. So he holds her just a bit tighter, kisses her just a bit harder, and sliding his hands down to her waist, keeps her just a bit closer.
Her body feels rigid against his own at first, but she relaxes after a second, which makes the enforcer think he can’t be doing all that bad, right? There’s more he wants to try with her, but he isn’t very experienced on how to execute it with his only reference being some adult videos he’s seen online and what he hears from his fellow male enforcers. But also this really isn’t the right place to —.
She pulls away from him suddenly and untangles herself from his arms just as quickly as he had kissed her the first time, and the moment is finished. Quite possibly what would be their only moment, ever .
He feels suddenly cold without her in his arms; and though she stands just in front of him, the enforcer feels she might as well be on the moon. The warmth he felt from her was gone and in its place a cold and rigid professionalism took root in her manner. She had been Akane to him a moment ago, but now — she was Inspector Tsunemori once more.
His superior. His handler. Always.
“I’ll be heading out then.” She nods curtly and whisks away quickly to the exit. “Have that report finished for tomorrow’s briefing, okay?”
She’s out the door before the enforcer can respond.
He stands there for a time, feeling (somehow) both saddened and elated, before returning to his desk.
Back to work.
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He’d never act on it.
He really shouldn’t act on it.
Enforcers don’t have futures after all.
And yet.. he’s gullible enough to still hope.