Work Text:
Today was not your day.
It didn't matter that you had the day off from work, or that your favorite show would be airing later. Nor did it matter that this was the first day in a long time where there were no impending deadlines, no threat to the world, nothing imminent that would make you stress. Hell, Joseph had even been able to work from home today. It should have been perfect, but it wasn't. Instead of being able to breathe and enjoy your life, your brain decided to mess things up by socking you in the face with some good old-fashioned dysphoria.
So now here you were, lying on the couch. Your largest hoodie and a pair of baggy sweatpants were covering your body, and the softest blanket you could find was curled around you. The TV was playing a movie from your childhood--an attempt to find something easy to focus your mind on. It wasn't working too badly. The comforting feeling of nostalgia would overtake your thoughts for a while, but only until you'd eventually come back full circle and remember why you were watching this program. This was still better than simply being in a state of despair, but you wished you could have done more.
You could do more, but that would require Joseph. He was technically available, with his office being just down the hall. If you really wanted to, you could request his presence and he'd clear his schedule for the rest of the day. After all, he knew you'd do the same for him on his bad days. Even knowing this, you couldn't quite let yourself do that. He was still working, and you didn't want to pile more onto what he'd have to do tomorrow. For now, you'd just have to put up with everything by yourself.
Soon, the movie's credits were starting to play. As you got up to change the disc, another wave hit you. The sheer awareness of your being was enough to make you start tearing up. You weighed your options and chose to give in to the longing for your partner. The blanket was clutched tightly in your hands as you speed-walked down the hall.
Though you'd made it this far, you hesitated in lifting your hand to knock on the door. Surely you were capable of handling this yourself? You'd done it before plenty of times, so why should you need to make this someone else's problem as well? You could (and probably would) have stood in front of the office door for eternity, if it hadn't been for the door opening.
Joseph gave you a warm smile, but it faltered after he took in your appearance. "I know that face. What's going on, darling?" He placed his hand on the side of your face to keep you from staring at the ground. Your doubts cleared away once you saw the concern that clouded his expression.
"Not too much. 'S a dysphoria day, but I didn't wanna bother you--"
"No, no, no, you'd never be bothering me with that! And before you say anything else, everything I had to do is done. I'm all yours for the rest of the day." He gave you a soft smile and kissed your forehead. "Now, what do you need me to do?"
Your hand found its way into his, and you directed him to the living room that you were previously resting in. You tossed yourself and your massive blanket onto the couch, and pulled Joseph down to sit next to you. You hugged him tightly, and his cheek went to rest on top of your head. The two of you sat like that for felt like hours. He was the one to break the silence.
"This might not be the best question, but how did you push through before we started dating?" You released yourself from his embrace to look at him better.
"I just sort of...lived with it, I guess. Not much else I could do. Kinda blocked a lot of it out. How 'bout you?" The discomfort you'd been feeling had waned a bit, and you figured talking about it couldn't hurt more.
"I did as many stereotypically masculine things as I could. Worked out, watched shitty westerns, anything that made it go away without harming me. I've drawn a Sharpie beard or two onto my face in my time." You smiled at the image of a pre-T Joseph proudly covering his face in marker.
"Wouldn't Sharpie be hard to wash off? You couldn't do much if it smudged."
"Sure as hell didn't stop me. Granny Erina thought I kept trying to get high before I came out to her." He laughed at the memory of his momentarily concerned grandmother, feeling completely at ease with himself.
"I mean, that is one way to do it. You were probably enough of a dumbass for it to be believable." He let out an exaggerated gasp and clutched at his chest.
"Me? A man who's been in multiple plane crashes? A dumbass? I can't believe you'd say such a thing!" Joseph fell back onto the couch dramatically, making sure to fake sob at your words.
You were full-on belly laughing by now, his mock anguish being too much at that moment. His eyes peeked out from behind the hand that had been placed over them, and his composure failed to remain. You and Joseph just sat there, laughing like idiots without a care in the world. As it died down, you adjusted yourself to lay your head on his chest while his mechanical hand soothingly rubbed up and down your back.
A happy sigh escaped your lips, and you mumbled into his shirt, "Thank you for being here. You've always helped me so much more than I could've ever imagined, even if my troubles aren't over yet. I really do love you a lot, Joseph."
"Always happy to be of service. Love you too, (Y/N)."
The day might not have been yours, but Joseph would always be there to brighten it.