Chapter Text
Chapter 1 : Hesitation
“ So What are you planning?” Armin spoke as he took a sip of coffee.
As 5 of them were siting around a round table, playing cards, chilling out a bit as they took break from the work for few hours.
As Armin asked the question everyone shoot their gaze at him confused except the particular one who was busy gazing at his cards while taking a sip of his coffee...
Armin sighs watching his best friend paying no attention to his words....
Armin in a sharp tone- Eren I am talking to you....
Coming back to reality, Eren stares at Armin startled “ Huh? Did...you say something? “
Just when Connie says being a bit curious “ Oh yes....He asked what are you planning? Wait...you have a plan for something Eren?”
Eren absolutely confused “ Errmmm....What? NO? Armin What's the matter?”
Armin who rolls his eyes and says “ Eren Come On! It has been a year or more....you still haven't thought about it?”
“ Thought about what?” questions Jean as he finally thinks to interpret about their weird code words “ Guys whats going on really? What are you talking about Armin?”
Eren scowling a bit “ I have no idea what he is talking about! I am clueless just like You!”
Armin mutters under his breath “ Dumb ass! I knew he would just forget as if nothing happened!”
Eren confused watching him talking something in low voice “ What did you say?”
Armin takes a deep breath and decides to put some sense into Eren “ Eren you know...I just dont understand! What has seriously got into you? I mean I understand before we had a different situation and your mind were always occupied with titans so you had no time for your personal business....but you know I honestly thought you finally realised & admitted to your feelings for Mikasa after you both kissed during that whole rumbling scene! But I am surprised in a matter of fact....you both still haven't talk about it since a year....as if nothing just happened! So I was just asking you....have you still not think about it?”
Armin just finished it in one go as he finally breathed waiting for Eren to answer something...
But well Eren just looked so shocked, startled, embarrassment, confusion & a feeling of being cornered....his cheeks were almost being heat up as he felt completely blank and speechless as Armin's timing of asking such direct question to him infront of his other comrades, who were staring at him all shocked.
Just when Jean broke the silence as he asked in astonished way “ Hey wait a second? What did you just say? Eren kissed Mikasa....I mean they both what?”
Armin bites his tounge as he realised he just most probably broke Jean's heart....who ofcourse most probably loves Mikasa still & is waiting for right time to propose her but wait he never had a chance anyways....cause Mikasa still was into Eren just that they both didnt talk about what happened and nor does Eren really talked about it after everything went over! Well he does feel bad for Jean anyway...he never intended to reveal the fact like this...but Eren has been ridiculously dumb so he just has to ask him straight away infront of everyone so that he just seriously take some action...
Jean was kinda shocked now as he questions again “ Why you both are quite now? You & Mikasa? I mean....did you ask her out ? “
Eren looks at Jean with his green eyes which gave a complete none of your business look “ Does it matter to you by anyway?”
Jean stares at Eren blankly “ Come on...you being interested in girls other than titans is definitely a news to me! “
Eren ignores Jean words as he glares at Armin “ What the hell is wrong with you? This is the time you wanna talk about this matter? Here?”
Armin staring him strongly with a serious tone “ When do you wanna talk about it Eren? Time is running up....you only have 3 years ! You need to think about something right!”
Eren feels a sharp pain in his heart....thinking about the reality of his life! He doesnt have much time....although his mission is complete....the freedom he wanted , he finally got it for everyone! The only thing is he doesnt have much time left to enjoy it to full...
Just then Levi spoke who now is in much better recovery state though his face has lots of stiches “ Wow thats a funny weird news! So the secret of stopping the genocide I mean rumbling....was a true love kiss! Tch....filthy piece of shit! Sounds so much like fairytale crap to me...”
Eren started to feel really uncomfortable now....as how all of a sudden him & Mikasa became a topic to discuss....all thanks to Armin!
Eren clearing his thought as he felt highly weird “ Guys I think...lets just....talk about something else! Err....we...are...supposed to...”
Connie all of sudden jumps out of his chair as he says with excitement “ No way dude....come on! Life is not all about Killing titans or protecting the world or being a scout all the time...we do need to focus on our personal space too...right Armin? “
Armin grins “ Ofcourse it is & I am sure even the captain wont mind discussing about something other than our professional matters “
Armin gives a nervous look at Levi who just gave stern blank stare at him...while Armin gives a nervous laugh.
Eren face palms him self as he feels absolutely ridiculous about this weird discussion about him & Mikasa as he says feeling tired “ Armin what has gone into you?”
Armin smiles as he says in serious tone “ Nothing...I just want you to have a proper confession with Mikasa...thats all! I know you both might have but not in some proper situation or environment like now....you know you should properly propose her!”
Eren flabbergasted “ PROPOSE HER? Are you out of your mind Armin? “
Connie while munching some biscuits “ Yeah...Come on Eren you can do it!”
Jean while being absent minded “ Even Mikasa would like it...she has been into you for a long time! Dont you think she atleast deserves this Eren?”
Eren could sense some sort of pain in Jean's voice but before anything Armin chirps in “ Yes and We all can help you by arranging proper date locations....ofcourse I know you are just dense about all these romantic stuffs! But Eren you are 20 now! Be a man & go & ask for her hand...”
Eren grits his teeth as he glares at Armin “ Shut Up Armin....You are being over now! We could have talk about it later...”
Armin give a strict stare “ No You Wont! I have been trying it from last 6 months to start this conversation with you! But all you did was dodge it everytime....No way I am letting you do this now”
Now its Levi turn to say something up “ Cut The Crap Eren! Dont you think you are being ridiculous now? If your friends are willing to help you out! What is wrong in that? Infact I can give you one day off to deal with your love affairs!”
Eren was absolutely embarrassed now....What the heck Armin was thinking to bring such topic at such awkward timing! Ofcourse he has been ignoring this discussion with him for a long time but that doesnt mean he has the right to embarrass him like this infront of everyone...
Levi taking the final sip of his coffee “ I am done...here! I have some important discussion to do with Hangee! You guys continue & Armin report me when does Yeager need a day Off!”
Eren immediately as he panics “ Captain! I Dont Need An Off...I Just...”
Levi glaring at Eren “ I didn't talk to you...Armin its your job to inform me!”
Armin gave a salute as he says confidently “ Yes Sir” while Eren kept on staring at them awkwardly not understanding what is happening on earth...while Armin just smirked at him.
As Levi just went away Eren scowled at Armin as his voice became angry “ What do you think you are doing Armin? You just pissed the captain off!”
Armin rolls eyes “ No he is just fine....so what do you think a proper location would be to ask Mikasa for marraige?”
Eren got up angrily as he slammed the table “ Marraige? What? Have you lost it! I am not doing anything! Just get over it...I dont wanna talk about this anymore!”
Connie raising his brows “ Why? Dont you love her? Or are you afraid of her answer? Dont be! She always loved you!"
Eren frowns at Armin while Armin sheepishly said “ Or Have you always hated her?”
That was taunt....he knew it was...Eren’s green eyes shone furiously at Armin.
While Armin just smirked “ Dont give me that look! Not gonna work! You need to do what you havent for years...”
Eren sat back as he felt his heart heavy and that guilt returning to him...his eyes drooped sadly...
Eren in low voice “ I...I...dont think its good idea! Armin....you can ignore this fact but I can't! I am murderer....Saving this world wont change this fact! I dont deserve her! I dont think she can forgive me for that nor that I want....She desreves someone better! I have been a shit to her for a long time....I dont know how she still had that patience with me! After everything I told her...I hoped she would stop following me! But no....she had the guts to face me again....still love me while I am just a pathetic shit....a monster! I am not the one who deserves her love...she deserves better”
Jean suddenly shouts at him “ Cut the crap alright! What do you think you are doing? You are lucky enough that she still loves you....while now you have feelings for her too! You wanna miss this second chance? Life is too short to think now okay! Get your shit togather Eren!”
Eren was shocked at Jean's reaction....he instead should be happy that he just wants to back out so that Mikasa gets someone better than him, anyways he will be dying after 3 years...and Jean can have a chance.
Honestly! Yes he knows it for a long time that the horse face has a huge crush on Mikasa for a long time...
Breaking his trance, Armin speaks in serious tone “ Jean is right! Stop being this self loathing shit! Its rare to get a second chance in life to enjoy and you dont want to take this chance?”
Eren’s eyes were filled with tears as he looks at the ground “ Armin I have hurt her enough...I am not the person she would want to spend her life with! And lastly I would be dying anyways after few years! She will be hurt again due to me...I only...want her to be happy...I dont deserve her”
Armin puts his hand on Eren's shoulder “ Eren! This is not about who deserves whom...She loves you & you loves her too! You both just need a talking! I know you are trying to keep distance from her and avoid talking about whatever happened during rumbling! I dont know much about it....but I kinda figured it out she did finally confess to you and you did reciprocate thinking it was the end.. but Eren you got a second chance! And you both need a proper talking! This hide and seek needs to stop”
Eren flabbergasted “ Hey ! I dont do hide and seek! I do talk to her!”
Armin rolls eyes “ Oh yeah those awkward conversations with awkward glances need to be stopped! Get your shit together Eren! There is no time to waste now! Its now or never...”
Eren who still seems hesitant about whatever Armin wants him to do says with a sigh “ I still think it's not a good idea....but what do you exactly want me to do?”
***********
It is almost Dawn, Mikasa was carrying some sort of heavy boxes and leading the other Soldiers to do same...when suddenly she spots Eren standing far away staring at her awkwardly...
She was pretty much astonished watching him here as it has been long time that he actually came to talk to her on his own...
Must be Captain Levi who must have given some work....
Mikasa sighs...he has been literally into silent and distant mode after the rumbling ended...he does do some talking with her only when it is needed and avoids her almost all the time even if they are standing together. It has been a year now, he behaves as if nothing happened or he has a memory loss...or is it some sort of guilt trip of his...
Whatever it is Mikasa has thought to sort it out but its just they dont really get a proper time to talk about it and ofcourse all Eren does now is run to something else whenever she tends to talk to him for a longer time...but time is running fast....Mikasa is well aware, Eren has only 3 years now...
Mikasa sighs, it hurts sometimes...she has though forgiven him for saying those hateful words cause now she knows why he did that and how much he loves her but what hurts now is he just behaves as if nothing happened at all...doesnt he actually want to talk about their real feelings before he leaves her alone again after few years!
Putting the box at its place Mikasa walks towards Eren who waves at her nervously...
Mikasa with no expression on her face “ Anything to say?”
Eren feeling blood rush towards his cheeks as he says hurriedly “ Ermm no...”
Mikasa feeling weird “ No? Then?”
Eren stares at the cute confused expression of Mikasa as he feels getting lost in her, just then as he snaps out of it clearing his throat “ Not exactly...I mean to say! Captain asked me to inform you....errm...about a mission “
Shit, Shit he isnt suppose to say all these made up things....he is suppose to actually ask her out with him, thats what Armin said....thinks Eren.
Back to her blank expression as she says “ Oh...”
Eren could feel her eyes on him blinking curiously, thinking of how to tell her about the place where Armin told him to ask her to come but well he just told her about an imaginary mission“ Err...And...you...will come...”
Unable to finish what he was supposed to say, Mikasa stares at him confused again making him feel nervous as his eyes scanned her slightly parted lips...just when Mikasa asks him “ Yes I will come...what is the mission actually?”
Eren trying to find proper words “ Mission is about....yeah...we are supposed to meet someone important in Shinganshina tomorrow! So you gonna come with me...we...have to meet with that important person!”
Mikasa blinking at him inquisitively “ Oh! Kiyomi came to meet with us?”
Eren sheepishly “ I dont know...who is exactly the important person! But we have a....meeting there...”
Mikasa curiously “ Oh alright....So What time we all will be leaving? As we are on Trost District...So it will take a long time to reach Shinganshina!”
Already messing up the whole plot instead he is talking about some stupid made up mission...Why he cant just act normal!
Eren swallows hard as he says “ Yeah....err...you just be ready! Tomorrow by afternoon we will be leaving “
Mikasa was silent for a moment but then says simply “ Okay”
Suddenly there was silence between them....as Mikasa kept on staring at his face and his cheeks were turning hot for no reason as he tries to advert his gaze somewhere else other than her...
And just then she says making him all panic “ You are sweating Eren! Are you alright?”
Eren completely freaking out “ Yeah...Wh...What will happen...to me?”
Mikasa sheepishly “ You do seem to say something else...dont you?”
Eren completely off track “ No...Why do you think so?”
Mikasa shurgs “ Well so...anything else?”
Eren with a mix of fear and strangeness “ Nothing....I just then should take my leave”
Before she could reply, Eren turns around and just about to leave when he suddenly realised something weird ....Eren turns back awkwardly and finds Mikasa still standing gazing at him...
He felt red again....he curses himself under his breath not understanding why is he being so red infront of her...
Eren clearing his voice “ Dont wear the scout uniform....and dont bring your horse too”
Mikasa kind of shocked “ Why is it so?”
Eren shrugs “ Just....err...Captain Levi ‘s order!”
Mikasa gazes at him weirdly.....before he messes up more, Eren decides to take a leave...
Just when Mikasa tells him “ Eren Do You Know...You Are Kind Of Bad At Lying!”
To be continued...