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When he decided to go out with his friends Sarawat wasn't expecting to run into Tine and his friends or seeing said friends getting wasted.
Nevertheless here he is after a night of shenanigans which include preventing Tine's friend from peeing in someone else's car and also inviting himself to Tine's room after lying very badly about not being able to go home.
He just doesn't want to, he wants to sleep in Tine's room next to him. He smiles when Tine just plays along and doesn't give him any more obstacles or reasons for him to get to his room.
Seeing Tine's friends sprawling all over the room, he offers going to the balcony, his skin has been feeling heated since the bar, alcohol makes him hot, thankfully he hasn't drink much, he can still appreciate Tine's wide smile and reddened cheeks.
He picks the guitar, it seems almost natural now, he can express better in song and in this hot night he just wants to sing to Tine, a love song. Sarawat wasn't expecting to have Tine join him in the song but it is nice how their voices mix together. Their eyes meeting at the end, his teasing breaking the moment.
And because he is feeling lighter today he feels the need to know.
"Do you remember when I said that I had something to tell you?" He asks looking at him, at those brown eyes that have captivated him ever since.
"Was it when you said you wanted to touch my boobs?" replies Tine a bit confused.
Sarawat sighs and smiles, of course he doesn't get it. He scratches the back of his head, he is a bit nervous.
"No. This is what is what I wanted to tell you." He tries again his time with music since it's their language now. Singing is the way to let himself go, to put in the song what is it that he is feeling, he does that until the final verse when he needs to see Tine's reaction.
* We just click, you're enough for my heart.* A little smile slips up to his lips. Tine smiles too and Sarawat feels warm and not because of the temperature.
"Is it true what your mom said about you never having a girlfriend?" Tine asks curious.Did he had to remember that?
Sarawat nods because he also wants to know where Tine is going with this and because is true. He wasn't interested in girls and he isn't now.
"What kind of person do you like?" Yep, he is definitely a bit confused. " A pretty one?" Sarawat scoffs, Tine still has no clue about who the song was actually about. He shakes his head.
"A smart one?" Sarawat shakes his head again. "A cute one? " He shakes it again.
"No." He has never really thought about his type, he knows what he doesn't like however.
"What kind of person then? That was almost every kind." He sees Tine looking away for a moment as he asks again " Do you like the weird ones then? " He has such a funny face that Sarawat has to chuckle and also because Tine is kinda right, Tine is a bit weird.
"I must really like a weird person." he starts. " Because it is so weird the one I like is - " Just when he was about to finally say it, when he has all of Tine's attention, they both hear a groan that interrupts him.
Instead of getting mad, he gets perplexed as he sees Fong, entering the balcony's door saying how he needs to pee.The atmosphere that they were creating dissipates, with Tine getting up and leading Fong to the actual bathroom leaving him with his thoughts at the balcony. Maybe it just wasn't as much of a perfect moment to say it as he thought or maybe he should have said it sooner. Now he will never know.
When he is finally ready to go back and his eyelids getting heavier by the moment, he goes to the right corner, which has a sleepy Tine next to it and it's fortunately the only empty space on the bed.He knows that he is dooming himself to an uncomfortable night and some neck pain in the morning, all of that doesn't matter when Tine finally falls asleep with his head on his lap. Knowing no one can see him, he cards his fingers through Tine's silky hair, the repetitive notion making him drowsy until he too closes his eyes.
The bright sunshine wakes him up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he notices how it's only them in the room, all of Tine's friends are gone. He enjoys it for a bit, being able to stare at Tine and following his profile with his fingers without Tine freaking out until his leg starts to numb.
"The sun has risen." He says out loud. "Tine, wake up." He grabs Tine's arm trying to wake him but the boy shakes him off and leans further into his leg.
"Five more minutes." Tine adds.
"Tine!" He repeats until he sees his words are making effect. " My leg is numb." He says when Tine opens his eyes and then immediately, he gets off his lap.
His leg is free at last.
"Shit!" Tine curses as he looks at his lap and him.
"You slept on my lap all night and now you swear at me?" Sarawat asks a bit offended.
Tine's eyes keep going around in confusion.
"What?" He adds as the awkwardness appears between them.
"Nothing... I- I'm... going to take a shower. " Tine says pointing to where Sarawat guesses is the bathroom. His gaze fixed on something on his pants, not meeting his eyes.
Okey then, he wanted to have a shower too and use the bathroom but he can wait. He still can’t get up because of his numbing leg. With the sound of the closing door, he punches his leg and tries to stand up and walk around to get it back to normal.
He doesn't think about Tine having a shower on the next room, nope. Sarawat decides it's better to get his mind out of the gutter for a moment and snoop around Tine's room now that he can.
It's funny how Tine complains about Sarawat's room being untidy when his is just the same, there are so many post-its everywhere reminding him of assignments and exams, so many loose papers on the shelves, on the bedside table, unlike in his own room there is not much of a personality on it just the sticky notes and the mess.
Apparently he has been distracted enough to not hear how the water stopped running but he does listen the opening of the door, leaving a very cute childhood photo back at its place and him standing in the middle of the room with a perfect view of Tine, shirtless also in the middle of the room.
"Why are you still here?" Tine asks rudely.
"What?" He tries to avert his eyes from where they want to go looking at Tine's face instead, a much safer place.
"I asked why are you still here?" His words louder than before.
" I wanted to have breakfast with you." He replies, he is getting hungry and he wants to spend more time with Tine, only the two of them.
His instincts take over, his gaze going to the glistening, damp naked chest in front of him. It is a very nice chest, Tine is more fit that his loose shirts make him appear, there are very nice abs and pecs that he wants to -
"What are you looking at? " Tine disrupts his thoughts as he covers his chest with his hands.
Feeling caught but deciding to give it a try in case it works, Sarawat points at the place he can't stop staring and asks "Can I...touch your boobs? " Getting closer, thinking about putting his hands on Tine's body and nothing else,he extends his hand startling when the other boy speaks.
"You out of your mind?" Tine moves a bit away. " Damn it!" He exclaims, removing his hands from his torso.
"Go take a shower. I'm super hungry." Sarawat listens to Tine say at the back of his mind, his principal focus on plain view once again.
There are little droplets that he wants to follow with his fingers and with his -
"Stop it." This time he does hear loud and clear. It's with a bit of regret that he stops and adds a little bit of fairness to the situation, taking his own shirt off besides he is going to get naked in a minute anyway.
In one of his impulses, he takes Tine's towel from him and asks " Can I borrow this?" the faster he does it, the better. That means less time for Tine to react. Sarawat takes what he hopes is an discreet glance at Tine's naked form.
He gulps and looks away.,
"Shit! I'm naked!" Tine exclaims obviously. Saraway did left him without his towel, it was bound to happen.
"I know, I saw." He retorts, getting into the bathroom.
"You saw it?"
It's when he is in the bathroom, water running and door closed that he finally acknowledges the pleasurable tingling sensation below his stomach. Tine makes it really hard for him sometimes but Sarawat also makes it hard for himself.
His hand follows the river forming on his chest until it reaches where he needs it the most and like a mental video, the images of Tine's chest and naked body fill his mind. Sarawat bits his lip until it almost bleeds stopping any moan from coming out, because he just saw Tine naked and his hand is doing a really good job trying to find a release of the tension on his body since Tine came out of this very same room.
Sarawat switches the water to cold, finishes himself off and start to shower in earnest.
Sadly when he gets out, Tine is already dressed. Sarawat pouts a little.
Time to get breakfast, then.
He has been trying to get even tiny moments to see Tine in between the rehearsals, he does misses him. He saw him a few days ago, He was able to talk to him and help him remove that disterous makeup that they always put on him, he is handsome just as he is.
So when he is told that they are finished for the day, earlier than usual he decides to go to the Music Club where he is sure that he would see Tine.
All the excitement dies as he opens door, he sees Tine with Pear. So his promise meant nothing then. Feeling like he is bothering them, he excuses himself and leaves them there.
Despite all the moments they seemed to have had, Pear is more important to Tine than himself, fake boyfriend or not. He is hurt, he has been flirting with him, he has changed his room for him, he has sung for him , he thinks he has been there for him and all that he has received has been either ignorance or just plain rejection. No matter how much he likes Tine, it doesn't seem to be enough, he is tired and he needs a drink, a strong one at that.
He texts his friends.
- I need to get drunk. Are you guys in?-
Instantly he gets a response from Man.
-I'm in. Tine's problems?-
Sarawat hates that he has turn so obvious to his friends he answers yes anyway.
They decided to meet at the same bar as last time, he hopes not to run into any of Tine's friends there again. Thankfully it doesn't and he can order a rum and coke in peace while he waits for Man and Boss.
By the time he is already on his second drink, his friends arrive. Man pats his back making almost choke. He gives him a stare, Man puts his hands up and apologizes.
"What happened this time?" ask Boss, sitting next to him. Man goes to the bar to get their drinks. Sarawat finishes his and makes him order him another one.
When he looks at Boss, he has his usual kind and understanding expression. Sarawat sighs and puts his head on the table. He hates this feeling. Man arrives with the drinks and he takes very long sip of his glass. It was just what he was having earlier.
Man wraps an arm around him and repeats the question Boss made before, he can tell that they are talking with gestures over his head.
" I told Tine not to talk or flirt with anyone else least of all Pear..." He groans remembering them being so cozy on the music room." And earlier I walked in on them together. He promised he wouldn't. " Boss squeezes his shoulder.
"Oh man, I'm sorry." says Man.
"Hey, maybe it wasn't what it looked like and Pear made him do it or something. I don't know. " Boss offers shrugging his shoulders.
Sarawat shakes his head, that is not what was happening at all, he believed he saw them together the other day when he was going to rehearsal too. So that was totally not a one time thing. He finishes his glass and asks for another.
"Wat, you've been flirting with Tine for weeks now and it doesn't seem to be working. I know you like him but maybe it's time... you know to move on." adds Man.
The fact is that it's true, he is right, he has tried and while he has never explicitly say it, he thought that Tine possibly felt something too despite his ridiculous statements about wanting to flirt with Pear and not liking boys, Sarawat has noticed how he looks at him sometimes. He is not that blind.
"Yeah, he asked to be his fake boyfriend not his real one. And like Man said, you tried and it didn't work." He really really doesn't want to keep hearing what his friends has to say.
Just then his phone rings. It's Tine.
"What!" He says as he picks it up. Now he can't even drink in peace.
"Where are you?" Tine asks, like he cares. Sarawat scoffs. Yeah, right. " Why is it so loud?"
Why does he keep asking?
"None of your business." He replies a bit mad at his friends who keep giving him encouraging sounds since they heard Tine's voice.
"Fine, I'll call you later then."
"I'm so pissed." Sarawat blurts, his palm hitting the table.
"Pissed at me?" Tine asks, his voice confused, Who else would he be mad at? Besides himself for this useless feelings and his friends for giving him hope when he feels there is not much to have.
"No." he lies, he is mad at him too. He promised he wouldn't see Pear and he did. "I was talking to my friends." Said friends look at him with mirror expression of confusion, Sarawat frowns at them.
"I'm so pissed." He confesses there is an itchiness on his chest that it doesn't go away. He closes his fingers in a tight fist.
"You already told that to your friends." Tine says. Sarawat wants to yell, he feels himself getting more angry.
"I wasn't telling them, I was telling you." The itchiness stings a little less. He hangs up, he can't take it for a minute more.
His friends are in complete silence staring at him. Man must see something on his face because he gives him the glass he forgot as he started the
conversation with Tine.
"Drink. It might help."
That is one of the last memories of the night that he has, he knows that he wrote something on his phone then nothing, just blackness.
When he wakes up the next day, his head hurts a little, and he does feel a little like shit. The itchiness however is still there no matter how hard he scratches it or how numb the alcohol helps him be.
Sarawat makes an effort in forgetting all of yesterday during the day, something hard to do when he sees that his friends have done to his instagram, posting Tine's pictures from his phone and the coded message where he says that he likes, not that he has any news about it from the other boy. It's probably not even in his radar of things, it's not about Pear.
As soon as his classes and the rehearsal are done, he is back at the bar, this time he doesn't invite his friends. He doesn't need their pitiful looks and sad faces when they see him. He can't do that.
Today is a day for drinking and trying to get this uneasiness off his chest. He is angry, for so many things and so sad for Tine alone. He hates it, so fucking much.
Just like yesterday his trip to total drunkenness is interrupted by a call from Tine.
He does have impeccable timing ,he has to give that to him.
"Hello." He answers despite himself.
"I washed your football jersey." Tine says happily.
Uh, his jersey, the one that he wanted him to keep or want to keep.
"So?" Keep it, please, Sarawat thinks to himself.
"Nothing, where should I give it to you?" And because he is an idiot too with everything else, he really thought he would want it.
"No need. " Well if he doesn't fucking want it , he'll go pick it up."I'll go get it myself." He hangs up. Sarawat finishes the glass and almost tumbling gets out of the bar and goes to Tine's.
So he doesn't want anything from him? Fine, fucking fine.
That outrage keeps him on his feet until the apartment,seeing the door open he just gets in and starts searching for his shirt.
"Are you drunk ?" Tine asks like he is worried.
"Where is my jersey?" He is really not in the mood, to be questioned if he is drunk or not. Yes, he is.
"There." Tine points to his bed. While he has sobered up a little on the way here, he still feels a bit dizzy. He picks up the shirt and is not his way to leave, he touches Tine's shoulder because he can't help himself. That little touch.
Tine stops him from moving further.
"Wait!" He says.
"What?" Sarawat feels like he keeps asking him that over and over again. Seeing him not responding he takes it as his clue to finally go. And he is once again stopped by Tine.
"Hey!" Tine calls him.
He is so tired.
"A senior asked to see our video. I grabbed an extra guitar just in case." He really can't resist him if only he knew the power he has over him . He takes a deep breath.
If Tine wants to do this, then they're fucking doing it.
"But if you can't right now, let's.." Sarawat doesn't give a damn about what it is next, he goes to grab the instrument, throwing without care his shirt back to the bed. He sits on it, his head down , the bright light bothering him a little and wanting a minute to get his drunk ass back to focus, the spinning goes away for a while. He coughs, he is getting better even when he knows a headache is coming for him in a few hours. He massages his forehead in case it helps.
"You okay?" Sarawat throws his head back. Feeling the guitar on his hands makes him calmer, he knows what he wants to play, there is something he has to say. And just like that, he lets himself get immersed on the song, a part of his brain knows that Tine said something, he just keeps playing , hoping the freaking message gets across.
He has kept his eyes closed until there is that verse , those words he wants to say.
*The world that used to be empty is not the same anymore.* He needs, very terribly for Tine to know that he means them. * Only if you want to know.* He finishes singing.
Staring at Tine, he doesn't seem to understand what the song was really about. Sarawat hears him say something else and he decides he is leaving, he leaves the guitar, takes his shirt and says goodbye.
Sarawat is tired and wants his bed, he wants not to be played around more by Tine, he played and sang, that's it. Tine's hand on his elbow impedes him getting out of here, one more time.
" Hey!" The other boy uses his strength to pull him down to the bed. Not that he makes it any difficult. " Sit down first." he obliges, he doesn't know where this is going.
"I will seriously be hitting on Pear." Tine and wherever Sarawat was expecting, it wasn't that.
What the fuck?
"Did you hear what I said?" He asks with a tone. " I said that I will be hitting on Pear for real." Tine sounds so sure of himself and serious.
Sarawat has had enough. Between yesterday and today and all those days since he met Tine.
"You will hit on her." he repeats angry, all the rage that he thought dissipated is back in full force." So I'm just your secret over?"
This has been more than he could handle.
"What!" Tine says and all the emotions he has tried to repressed and some that he didn't invade him.
"Should I act heartbroken?" That won't be much of a problem, Sarawat thinks. "Should I cry?" He is on his way there. He can't stare at Tine.
"Hey! What is wrong with you?" he asks. What is wrong with him? WITH HIM!
Sarawat is desperate enough to try make him understand one last time.
"I just want to have a girlfriend. Why are you.-" Sarawat interrupts his sentence, pressing their mouth together. That short contact clears his mind and makes his stupid heart race. He has very soft lips.
"You are reserved. Don't ever hit on anyone." There he said, he doesn't know how much obvious he can be.
Another kiss would help, so he leans again to kiss him.