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The moment he was sure that Hairy Mike's blow had truly killed Damon Julian and that the other vampires wouldn't go into a frenzy, Abner ran to Joshua's cabin. Joshua had to still be alive, but who knew what that sick bastard had been doing to him after Abner had tried to stab him the first time.
Joshua rarely looked worse than perfect, but Abner could tell from the crusted blood on his outstretched wrist and his bare movement in the bed that he was not in a good way.
"Joshua, you ok?" he closed the door behind him and came closer. "We got him, Joshua, we killed him."
"I could tell," he said faintly. "I suppose I should thank you."
"You should be happy! What was he doing to you?"
Joshua shuddered slightly, "Drinking my blood."
That puzzled Abner, "Does that work?"
"Not for the thirst, not unless you're incredibly desperate. It's a show of domination, the bloodmaster putting others in their place. He's done it a dozen times to me since he took control, trying to break me."
"Well he won't be doing it no more, not with his brains smashed. Will you be alright?"
Joshua nodded weakly. "I will heal, given a little time. And my drink - please."
Abner searched his drink rack, found a part-emptied label-less bottle and poured a whole glass of the red liquor.
Joshua could barely support his head upright to drink it, so Abner perched onto the bed to help support him as he drank it down slowly. The blankets had fallen down from Joshua's shirtless chest, showing his long and pale frame. For the first time since they'd met, Joshua seemed less than strong, like a glass full of milk that could be knocked and shatter. But he'd saved Abner's life, getting him to run, and suffered for the fervency of his beliefs that people weren't cattle. That was strong.
When Joshua finished the glass, Abner set it on the bedside table and cleared his throat. "I oughtta get out and organise the crew, see what needs doing-"
"Stay. Please," Joshua barely whispered by his thigh.
Abner was shocked and confused. There wasn't much he could do for Joshua's condition, and he really should get out there for the boat and crew... But Joshua's eyes looked so tired, fearful and pleading, his whole body looked so damn fragile... "I- I guess, if you need. What you want me to do?"
Joshua managed to shuffle backwards on the bed, enough for Abner to sit more comfortably with his legs up, though it was a squeeze with Abner's girth, Joshua lying up against his side. "I've heard it proposed that company and physical contact can help health."
Abner grumbled; he didn't get much physical contact. "Well, maybe in humans, but you think still in your sort? From humans?"
"I believe so," Joshua said, and moved his head onto Abner's chest, leaving Joshua's arm curled around him. "There's more than one kind of health, that of the mind as well as the body, but the two are linked. An unhealthy body will not help the mind, and an unhealthy mind will not help the body."
That sounded complicated to Abner. "Well, you lot's healing seems so fast already, probably won't make much difference."
"I disagree." Abner was used to Joshua talking long and quoting poetry or some such, but that was all he saw fit to say just then, and Abner didn't know what else to say.
He found himself looking down Joshua and his body again, the long pale lines and grace of his form. He felt warm and uncomfortable. Tried to distract himself. "So, uh, you in charge now?"
"When I regain my strength. By the end of tomorrow night. Though I fear some of Damon's supporters will have fled."
"Hm. Well, you might track 'em down again."
Joshua hummed thoughtfully.
Silence again. Abner tried to find other things to look at in the room. Perhaps he needed an excuse to leave.
"I could help you if you'd like," Joshua said softly.
Abner wasn't sure if he'd missed something. "Help? Help with what?"
Joshua indicated lightly towards Abner's crotch.
He must have gone as red as the wheelhouses had been painted. "I- I don't-"
"You shouldn't feel shame for it, Abner," Joshua said as quickly as he could manage before Abner could pull away. "Humans frequently find us attractive."
"But- But you-"
"What? Am a man, of sorts? I don't see why that should matter. I have known men before, in my time in Europe - in my time with Byron. It is no evil - you have seen true evil, Abner."
Abner wasn't sure if he thought it evil, he was struggling to think, not helped by some part of his mind focusing on Joshua having been with men. Probably young, handsome men - that Byron was meant to have been handsome. "You don't want me. You don't have to do that. I didn't- I didn't kill Damon to..."
"Why do you think I do not want you?"
Abner's mouth gaped open, speechless for a few moments. "Well, I- I- look at me! It was all about beauty, I thought? Well look at me, the ugliest man on the river, near the fattest. There'll be fancy ladies and them creoles at every town up the Mississippi! Nobody looking for beauty looks at Abner Marsh!"
"I did never expect to find beauty in Abner Marsh," Joshua conceded, "but that didn't stop me finding it."
Abner was gaping again. "Where?"
"In your passion, in your dream, in your skill, in your loyalty, in your dedication, in your smile... You are filled with beauty, Abner."
Abner struggled to swallow. "You think that?"
"I truly do. If I did not have my thirst under control, it would have been a real struggle that night of our first race. You were so beautiful." Joshua looked him sincerely in the eyes. "Hold me, Abner. And let me hold you."
Abner eased himself back down, and tentatively pulled Joshua back in towards him, his hand feeling the marble smooth skin of his lower back. He tried not to flinch as Joshua slipped a nimble hand inside his trousers. It had been so long since Abner had been touched by somebody else. Since before all this happened.
He had lost some of his progress in the fear and confusion, but Joshua brought it back easily with his rhythmic movements. Abner was a little off-put when Joshua looked to his face, but when he pressed their lips together it was all the better, Abner bringing his hand up to cradle Joshua's beautiful head.
Abner finished far too soon, but he placed the blame at Joshua's beauty and skill. Yet it was hard not to feel... endebted, embarrassed. "Can... Should I do anything for you?"
Joshua smiled wanly. "My body is too weak for that right now. The blood loss... In any case, I told you: hold me."
"Does that really do so much?"
"Abner..." he sighed, "I spent the past few days being dominated, crushed, belittled... The others feared to contradict his will. It takes its toll. Mentally. I need some warmth."
"Well, I have warmth for days. Full of hot air, some will tell you," he tried to joke. "And that Damon was a damn fool and his head crushed like anyone else's. Anyone could see you that you're a great man, good for your people, strong in body and mind-"
Joshua chuckled, "I see they're right about the hot air. But no, don't let me stop you, I think it helps."
And so Joshua snuggled into him as Abner elaborated on his virtues, and all the great things that they were going to accomplish together for the rest of their days. The words didn't quite include 'I love you' on that day, but they did really.
