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The room was silent, moonlight filtering in from the window sitting on the wall to the right. The window was slightly open to battle the summer heat, a cool breeze doing just that job as it flicked the sheer curtains around. The tranquility was interrupted by the sound of quiet mumbling.
Ludwig looked to his right as he heard another mumble, what he thought was his name being called out.
Looking down, he saw, as usual, Feliciano laying by to his side, where he hadn’t been when Ludwig had gone to sleep. At this point, he was almost used to Feliciano sleeping in the same bed as him, seeing as Feliciano could be quite… touchy. Or just clingy, depending on who you ask. When Ludwig woke up with a smaller body pressed against his own now, he wasn’t surprised. Awkward, yes, but surprised? Definitely not. So why did this feel off? Was it the fact that Feliciano had called his name? Or that he was somehow closer than usual? Or the fact that he was awake, with tears brimming in his eyes.
Oh. Oh, shit. Feliciano was crying.
It’s not like he didn’t cry a lot, but somehow, Ludwig just knew these weren’t the same. Not knowing what to do, he just stared for a moment longer, before trying to say something.Clearing his throat, Ludwig tried to speak.
“Feliciano,” He said “Are you alright?”
Meeting his eyes, Feliciano nodded. He didn’t really mean it. Feliciano whispered, “Sì.”
Ludwig could tell something was wrong. He could also tell all Feliciano wanted was to be calmed down. Voice quiet and soft as it can be with his rough accent and brushing brunet hair from Feliciano’s face, Ludwig asked “Why are you crying?”
“Just a bad dream.” Feliciano said, still crying and shifting uncomfortably, before wrapping his arms around Ludwig’s neck, smearing his tears on his skin, bringing his face to the corner between Ludwig’s neck and shoulder.
Feeling a huff of warm air on his neck, Ludwig suppressed a shiver, and put his arm around Feliciano’s waist, holding him tight. He let Feliciano just cling to him, light brown hair carding through his fingers. It was calming, despite the confusion that would normally be running through his head, making Ludwig question why the hell he was so comfortable cuddling up to Feliciano. He just ignored that part of his brain for right then, choosing to focus instead on the lingering sleep clouding his head and the comforting feel of being with someone else. They stayed like that, wrapped up in one another for a while longer, before Ludwig felt Feliciano stop shaking.
“Did you want to talk about the dream?” Ludwig asked, tentatively
Feliciano pulled back a little bit, enough for Ludwig to meet his eyes, which despite the limited light from the moon, he could tell were red and puffy. Feliciano bit his lip, thinking for a second, before shaking his head. “D’you mind if I just…” He wound his arms around Ludwig again, his lips resting on Ludwig’s skin, exposed by the tank top Ludwig was wearing.
Feeling his face heat just a tad, Ludwig cleared his throat and said, “Yes that’s… that’s fine.”
Lying like that, it was easy for Ludwig to start to relax, regardless of how flustered he knew he’d be in the morning after waking up tangled up with Feliciano. The latter had calmed significantly, his breathing now even, though he was obviously still awake. They stayed there, still, for what felt like hours, but was probably akin to just a quarter-hour. Neither of them let their grips slip, still pressed against one another.
Feliciano drew back once more, letting out a breath of a laugh. “Sorry for soaking your neck.”
“That’s alright. You’re doing better?” Ludwig asked, their voices still hushed, even though they wouldn’t have been disturbing anyone if they had spoken normally. It just felt right. Like this couldn’t happen without their voices quiet, soft and for only each other to hear.
“Yes, grazie,” Feliciano, uncharacteristically, looked a little ashamed. His hair hung in his face, the soft locks brushing his cheeks.
While Feliciano lay what couldn’t be more than five inches away, Ludwig felt cold, wishing Feliciano would clutch him once again as he had. Tired still but awake, Ludwig was craving Feliciano’s warmth, ready to just draw him into an embrace and fall asleep once more. He, however, was concerned. Before they could just go to sleep, Feliciano had to be okay. Slowly, Ludwig held out his hand and brushed brunet hair away from Feliciano’s face. Locking eyes for what felt like the millionth time that night, Feliciano looked at him with emotion behind his eyes that Ludwig could not wholly place. Ludwig had never noticed ‘til then how pretty Feliciano’s eyes are.
“Ludwig?” Feliciano called out, his expression soft and his face fully returning to it’s natural light tan.
“Ja?”
“Can you give me a kiss?”
Ludwig stilled, and thought for a second. It wouldn’t be unusual. He just wants to be comforted. You know he needs physical affection when he’s like this. He thought to himself, reasoning with his own mind. Feliciano had always been very affectionate, clinging to his friends and family as if he had gone his whole life with complete touch deprivation. For someone like Feliciano, this was absolutely, entirely normal. Hell, Feliciano kissed friends on the cheek all the time! He’d even kissed Ludwig on the cheeks multiple times, and though at first Ludwig had totally resisted, he now accepted that Feliciano just loved touch and let him do so. This shouldn't be a debate at all, Ludwig was being ridiculous seriously trying to think this through. Of course he can give Feliciano a kiss. I’d be glad to . Ludwig thought involuntarily, deciding not to dwell on that thought.
“Uh, Ludwig? You don’t have to if you don’t want…” Feliciano said, looking dejected.
Snapping out of it, Ludwig spoke up, “No, it’s okay. Yes I… I can give you a kiss, of course,” Using his left hand to push back Feliciano’s hair, Ludwig softly gave his forehead a kiss. It was small, but he hoped Feliciano got what he’d wanted. “Is that alright?”
Feliciano nodded. “Can I kiss you?”
That’s fine, why does this make me feel so off? Ludwig questioned, before giving Feliciano his approval to do so.
Moving a little bit closer, Feliciano had leaned in and had his lips against Ludwig’s before the latter had realised it wasn’t going to be a kiss on the cheek. Feliciano’s lips were sort of chapped, but Ludwig didn’t care much. He was busier trying to figure out why he was enjoying the kiss, why he felt choked and why he felt like he’d run three kilometers.
Pulling back, Feliciano buried himself into the crook of Ludwig’s neck once more, his next question coming out muffled. “Was that okay?”
Not knowing what to say, all Ludwig could muster was a little “Ja.”
They’d gone back to laying together, peacefully wrapped up together. Though Ludwig’s heart had sped up a bit during and after the kiss, he was content to wake up in the morning and then have an identity crisis. Feliciano’s breathing gradually slowed, and he fell asleep on Ludwig’s shoulder, and though Ludwig had laid awake for longer, he was content to sap Feliciano’s warmth and hold him. He was satisfied with just knowing that Feliciano was doing better, and that he’d get some more sleep but with the extra comfort of Feliciano pressed impossibly close against him.
Yeah, he’d just have to have a crisis about his sexuality in the morning. For now, Ludwig was content.