Chapter Text
Crashhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Jinwoo groaned on his study table, he know this time he wont be able to hold in his anger again. He know for sure he will lost this fight if he decided to explode now so he took his time, writing more paragraph on his laptop,breathing in and out for a minute or so as he counted in his head.
“Bastard.” he mumbled under his breath before deciding to face the evil deed his ex-boyfriend did just to annoy him. He was greeted by a silly smile, the oh-sorry-I-did-it-on-purpose-to-annoy-you smile he knows all too well, after all, this guy in front of him, was the guy he loved for the past 2 years, loved.
“I hope I don’t have to drag a body to the hospital tonight after the loud crash.” Jinwoo managed to grin, the fuck-you-will-pay-for-this-one-day grin.
“Oh, no, not really but um you will probably drag your luggage out of the door today,” He flashed the most annoying smile as if he already won this war, Jinwoo snorted.
“I doubt ―” Jinwoo’s sentence was cut as he lied his eyes to the pieces of ceramics lying on the floor, he noticed the colour, purple with small white dots spread on the tiny pieces. He wanted to yell, he wanted to cursed, but nothing came out as his lips tremble, trying to hold in his pooling tears.
He stepped forward and picked up the pieces collecting them on his palm, every pieces reminding him how his heart broke that night, how their love fell apart, just like the broken mug on his hand, it’s his favourite mug, given by Bin on their first anniversary. It was Bin’s first work that he finished from his art class, he painted the mug with Jinwoo’s favourite colour, purple, and spread tiny white dots resembling the stars on the sky as Bin said countless just as his love, just as their love.
Bin’s eyes squinted as he noticed the red liquid on Jinwoo’s palm, he rushed to him and held Jinwoo’s arm while carefully putting the pieces on the floor, trying to not hurt Jinwoo more, as if he did not hurted him so much already.
“God, Jinwoo!―” before he could mutter any words, Jinwoo forcefully yank his hand and Bin stumbled backward as Jinwoo pushed him away, with eyes wet with tears. Jinwoo left to his room banging the door and Bin left there, cheeks red, dumbfounded. He wanted to yell, he wanted to cursed, just as much as Jinwoo wanted to, probably because he noticed why Jinwoo cried. It was Jinwoo’s favourite mug, it was his first hand-made painted mug.
“You’re a bastard Bin.” He probably heard Jinwoo’s thought, or maybe that’s just his own thoughts.
It hurted way much more than Jinwoo thought it will, the fact that they broke up hurt him less but it hurt him that there is really nothing left between him and Bin, Bin did not even cared about breaking the gift knowing how much he appreciated it, the fact that they broke up hurt him less than Bin disregarding the thing once he was so proud to present as the symbol of his love.
Those aside, Jinwoo thought that the love they had is real, was real, sure they broke up, the love faded but it was there, it felt real and so he still cherished it even post breaking up, he still took care of the things Bin gave him during their years of dating and he left the mug there because Bin wanted it to stay there and so he thought Bin still appreciated it but it does not feel like it now, especially when Bin did that, with his own hands, and God’s know what was he thinking when he did that, probably the image of him leaving made Bin so excited that the memories did not mattered anymore, or it never mattered to him.
Jinwoo never cried this hard, not even after breaking up, he did cried but a little less than now, he is bawling his eyes out, pretty sure they will showed up as a proof to his friends on how he spent his night, they wont even have to ask but he could care less, that is the only thing he could do and he did. He was never a weak person, not while growing up he witnessed too much pain inflicted by love to his own family, his mom.
Prior knowing Bin, Jinwoo was never fond of relationship, especially when he came from broken family. He witnessed how the so-called love broke his mom, he saw how one day his dad decided to leave home, leaving him and his mom when the man himself once swore to take care of the family and to love them till death tear them apart. He, for one, know how much love is capable of ruining lives, with how he ended at a foster home at the age of 16 after his mom was found lifeless at one of the hotel room from being overdosed of drugs.
He found people who approached him with the name of love but those people always proved him right, that love is no less of just an overrated word in life. But Bin was different, he offered comfort and friendship instead of love because Bin grew up in a complete family which he had always envied, Bin have so much things that he never had, family is one of it, and coming to his life, Bin offered to share what Jinwoo never had, family, that’s that, his distrust to love disappeared, not completely but Bin managed to change his view of love, Bin showed him how love was never about sex, was never about skinship, Bin showed him that love is the willingness to share, he once thought love was about sex because he saw how his mom changes partner every time he flip the calendar to the next pages, he thought love was about skinship when his mom’s eyes light up when her partner touched her but Bin proved him wrong.
Bin was so excited to have his family meeting Jinwoo, he was so proud to flaunt to the whole world that he is now dating Jinwoo. Bin fell inlove with Jinwoo at the very first sight, on his first day at the campus. Jinwoo was with another group of students, he was smiling brightly that his eyes became small, with a sling bag hanging over his shoulder, a book grasped tightly on other hand, Jinwoo looked perfect in his eyes, his hair was a little darker, probably dark brown.
Later on, Bin would always come to Jinwoo's basketball practices and watches him, Bin thought it was just silly crush, or maybe not. Its only few weeks later Bin found out through Myungjun, his mentor from the same course, that Jinwoo is a student from the law course, which is a surprise to Bin because Jinwoo appeared to be more like an art or sport student than a law student. He once brought it up to Jinwoo after they're dating and Jinwoo laughed heartily, "Happens," he said.
It was also from Myungjun that Bin knew Jinwoo was searching for a new house, nearby campus, and it happens to be that Bin is also searching for a house, they went for a house-hunting together and that's how they became housemate. Things happened and months after that, Bin confessed his true feeling to Jinwoo and thats how they began dating. "
You know that you look stunning in whatever you wear right?" Bin is very much amused at the antics of his lover trying every piece of clothes he have, mixing and matching their colours,
"You look more of a fashion major student than a law student now," Bin jokes and Jinwoo glared at him, "not funny," and he pouted, making Bin's heart jumps in joy seeing how cute Jinwoo was, he always have a soft spot with a pouty Jinwoo. Jinwoo was nervous to meet Bin's family. Bin was not wrong though, Jinwoo was only in his pyjamas, revealing a little bit of his collarbones and pale skin, and he still look beyond gorgeous added with his messy blonde hair.
"Yeah right. Your family aren't you Bin. God's know what they'll think about me when they see me." Jinwoo whined, still sulking in front of his wardrobe, not being able to decide what outfit should he wear to the dinner.
"Family thinks alike, Jinwoo. They'll think that you are amazing and stunning, just like I do." Bin giggled, Jinwoo turned around and his shoulders dropped.
"Not the family that I've encountered at least, not my family, that I'm sure." Pouting, Jinwoo walk towards the bed and snuggled close to Bin, with no hesitation, Bin pulled him close and hug him tight.
"My family will soon be yours too, and trust me babe, all of us thinks the same, that you are amazing and stunning." Heaving a small sigh, Jinwoo nodded lightly and allow himself to fall asleep, not before Bin planted small kisses on his face and wishing him goodnight and whispering sweet nothings to his ear.
“You look absolutely like shit Jinwoo.” Myungjun stare at his bestfriend’s state, eyes swollen, messy hair and pale face, he probably did not sleep at all the night before. The amount of shits he went through that night is visible on his face.
"Yeah, thanks for making me feel more miserable than I already am, Myungjun. what a great friend you are." Jinwoo shrugged and hid his face amongst the bunch of papers on the table prepared for his assignments.
“Wait until he see you this way and Bin is a dead meat.” Myungjun mumbled, barely heard by Jinwoo. The duo are then greeted by tall raven haired man, eyes beaming with happiness with his bag clung on one of his shoulder.
“Bin better already left the campus or he will hunt him right now.” Myungjun shivered at the thought and Jinwoo rise his head at the mention of his ex’s name.
“Huh?” Jinwoo managed to respond.
“Jinjinie?” The guy gasped dramatically.
“Bin, you piece of shit!” Slamming his bag on the chair before walking out of library, the guy’s jaw tightened.
“No! Wait! Dong―” Jinwoo’s slow head registering what just happened and his reaction is too late, his words vanished through the air as he watches Dongmin’s back, walking out by the door.
"Shit!” Jinwoo muttered before dashing out the door, only to find Dongmin grasping Bin’s shirt by his collar with the latter just grinning like an idiot. Jinwoo went in between the guys and pried Dongmin’s hand away from Bin.
“Let’s go, Min.” Dongmin still snarling at Bin but took a few step back allowing Jinwoo to separate them and soften at the view of Jinwoo in front of him, Jinwoo did not even bother looking back at Bin as he followed Dongmin’s steps forward.
“Wait―” Bin blurted out with his hand grabbing Jinwoo’s other hand, inspecting the bandage with a visible blood stained on the surface. “Did it hurt alot?” Bin managed to whisper, Jinwoo’s face hardened.
“Thanks for the concern.” Jinwoo yanked his hand away from Bin’s grasp and went inside, not realizing Dongmin had intertwined their fingers and he was practically tugging Dongmin with him. Dongmin's gaze never left Bin, if it was not for Jinwoo, Bin was probably had already beaten to a pulp because Dongmin have absolutely no mercy to anyone who mess with his friends, especially anyone who messes with Park Jinwoo.
Bin, on the other hand, stared at the two guys who has disappeared behind the door and an unfamiliar sting struck his heart.
“That used to be me.”
"The touches that lingers,
The whispers in his ears,
The moans of pleasures,
It is too much of a pressure,
The steady waves of memories,
as he finished his last strokes,
on an old used notes. "