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being out in space was supposed to be amazing. it was supposed to be one of the defining moments for tony stark in which he discovered space travel at superspeed and took it back to earth to help start the real live star trek. however, that’s not what happened. what happened was he got a fucking moon thrown at him. what happened was that he was stabbed through the gut. what happened was watching everyone around him fade into dust. what happened was being lost in space with an alien for 22 days. staring into the dark void of the universe never knowing if he’d seen the people he loved again. never knowing if he’d see steve again. his husband. thanos snapped his fingers. had steve even survived?
he talked to that damn helmet so many nights. days? unless he asked the helmet, he wouldn’t know. he poured everything out into those video messages. he didn’t care when he cried, steve had seen him much worse. it just—it hurt. knowing that these were the last words he would be saying to his husband. tony had to make them count.
then carol showed up.
she carried their ship through space. landed it at the compound. nebula helped him out and there he was. steve was running towards him and tony felt every single fractured part of his heart try and shove their way back into his chest and god—he was staring into steve’s eyes, his own starting to shed the tears he was trying to hold on to. tony grasped onto steve, making sure he was real before he hugged him, sobbing into steve’s shoulder as he felt like he could finally breathe again. he never thought he’d see the soldier again. “steve.” a single name. simple. but it held so much for tony. he could smell the cologne that steve used, the aftershave, the laundry detergent, the shampoo; every single thing that made steve smell like steve, absolutely nothing like the dust and dank of the ship he’d been on the last three weeks.
“i… steve, i thought you were dead. i thought— i thought i was dead. i never thought i’d see you again.” the words were spilling out of him before he could stop himself, clamoring onto his husband as he let out the relief through wrecked tears. “i love you. i’m sorry, i’m sorry i’m sorry.”
the nightmares were constant at first. tony waking up in the middle of the night, yelling for peter and strange and steve. his body drenched in sweat and steve just trying to hold him through the sobs. he went back to not sleeping. only passing out when his body couldn’t take it longer. but as time passed, and as tony healed, steve wanted to do more. half their team was gone, peter was gone, and there was a one in a 10 billion chance that they could save them, bring them back, but there were risks. none of them knew how to fucking time travel, and the only one who could probably do it had been turned to dust before tony’s eyes. yes, tony was a genius, but invent the formula for time travel?
“i don’t think you get it,” he told the team one night. “even if i could figure out the formula for this, what makes you guys think it’ll work? just because the formula is right, there’s still a billion other variables that we can’t control. i can’t—i won’t go through what i did. not again.”
steve went to bed upset that night. not upset with tony, just upset with their new reality. the fact that it’s been five years and all these people they love were gone. tony, though. tony couldn’t sleep. his brain was going a million miles a minute and he needed to try. if tony could get everyone back, if he could do it without losing anyone they still have, without losing steve, then he would do it. he worked all night, drinking straight from the coffee pot, doing formula after formula, changing numbers and patterns and theories, just trying to see if something would click. he was about to give up. there was really only one more thing he could think of and if that didn’t work, if the simulation crashed, then they were gonna need a different plan.
going through time with steve was a different experience all together. none of this shit made any sense. if you had told him ten years ago he’d invent time travel and go back in time to talk to his father and steal from shield and hank pym, he would have laughed in your face and told you to go fuck yourself. but that’s exactly what happened. they went through time, saw the past versions of themselves and tony couldn’t help but crack jokes. from the outside, it was obvious what had formed between them after they defeated loki and the chitauri army. it was soft around the eyes when they’d look at each other. it was sly smiles and unspoken words. of course the high of their win would wear off and reality would set in. they’d go their separate ways, they wouldn’t talk for a while, it was something else to see them from the outside.
this is where it got them. everyone is back, but thanos is here. with so many armies tony can’t keep track. he got knocked down and couldn’t move, watched as steve tried to fight him on his own but thank god for strange and those portals. steve wasn’t alone. tony had time to recollect himself. they fought. they kicked, blasted, punched, and stabbed their way through thanos’ army. they were throwing everything they could at them, but nothing was working. tony looked around, trying to get a reading on everyone to see who was hurt the most, if there was a way to get them help, if there was anything he could actually do. then he caught stephen’s gaze.
“is this the scenario that works? is this what you saw working?”
stephen looked at tony and shrugged. “if i tell you anything, it won’t happen.”
tony sighed and looked back at where thanos was. “avengers, we’re ending this. now. focus in on thanos. throw everything we got at him.”
in the middle of them tony switched his com to a private line with steve. “honey, i just need you to know that i love you,” he aimed his hands and shot at a repsulor blast towards thanos. “i know this isn’t the best time, but i need you to know that there’s no one else i could have lived a better life with. i love you, steve rogers.”
tony disconnected their coms and went back to fighting thanos. they wrestled with the glove, everyone trying their best to get it off, but it was no use. thanos raised his hand and snapped his fingers, but nothing happened. tony smirked, brow furrowed, and tried to compose himself as the power of the stones coursed through him. “and i…. am… iron man.” tony snapped his fingers and felt the energy hit him like a speeding train. the pain was there and then it was silence. he couldn’t hear anything, he couldn’t get a grip on his surroundings. he felt the blood dripping down his face and he knew this was it. this was the end. rhodey was down on his level, and tony tried to say thank you for everything. for loving him and caring about him when he was the hardest person to love. peter. god tony weas so happy to know the kid was alright. he looked at steve and tried to move his arm towards him, but he couldn’t move. then it went black.
waking up in a hospital is not what tony expected. waking up in general isn’t what he expected. it took a while for him to heal completely after having used to stones. steve, once again, being the most amazing man tony could have asked for. they took it one day at a time, healing from everything they’d been through physically and emotionally. they were okay. they went on dates, tony retired, consulted when he was needed, but best of all tony was able to be a husband to the man he loved.