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"Osomatsu... are you going to abandon me?"
"Yeah, I'm abandoning you. See ya!"
Osomatsu stepped out of the room without even so much as a glance back in sympathy. He really did abandon him in his time of need!
Karamatsu groaned, running his hands over his face in frustration, panicking slightly.
What could he possibly do now?! He just wanted his ears cleaned! He knew it had been a gamble asking Osomatsu but he was right. There was no way he could ask the others. It was embarrassing and he doubted the others would even consider the idea.
Choromatsu would outright refuse. Todomatsu would be disgusted by the request. Jyushimatsu would probably be just as 'in a flash' as Osomatsu and Karamatsu’s heart couldn’t take that.
And Ichimatsu… shit, he didn’t even want to think of that possibility.
The sudden sound of footsteps had Karamatsu looking back to the door in hope. Had Osomatsu come back to him?! Out of the kindness of his heart!?
However, when the door opened, Karamatsu took a step back in horror.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, and there was Ichimatsu with his usual blank, fall-asleep-any-second stare. A cold sweat immediately gathered on the back of his neck. Had he heard him? Did Ichimatsu know? How long had he been home?
“If you don’t mind me,” Ichimatsu said softly, “how about I clean your ears for you?”
While the offer was pleasant enough, the evil grin that spread across the younger brother’s face a second later, along with that creepy chuckle, was not.
“Ah!” Karamatsu took another step back, waving his hands in front of him. “No, no, buraza, I’m perfectly fine!”
He’d rather go with dirty ears for the rest of his life.
Ichimatsu hummed in response, taking another step into the room and sliding the door shut behind him. Karamatsu’s heart started pounding in terror as his brother’s eyes dropped down to where Osomatsu had left the ear pick.
“I-Ichimatsu, what are you… what are you doing?” he asked as the man walked over to the ear pick and picked it up.
Karamatsu practically ripped the window out of its track with how fast he opened his only escape route. He could still see Osomatsu! If he could just yell—
But, no, Ichimatsu’s arm locked around his neck, making him choke on his cry for help. Karamatsu struggled as his brother dragged him backward into the room and tossed him to the ground.
“Ichimatsu! No! I said I’m fine!” Karamatsu screamed as he tried to scramble across the floor to the door. He still wasn’t fast enough to avoid Ichimatsu flopping down on him.
His weight, centered on his lower back, kept him from crawling to safety. And when his hand slammed onto the side of his skull, shoving his face into the carpet, Karamatsu knew he was doomed.
“Stop, Ichimatsu! This isn’t funny!” Karamatsu snapped out angrily, nails scraping into the carpet in a wasted effort to escape.
“This will go a lot smoother if you stop struggling, Karamatsu-niisan...” Ichimatsu sang his name happily, clearly enjoying every second of Karamatsu’s struggle.
Fingers weaved into his hair and forced his head to the side, ear facing up and very much in danger.
“Ichimatsu!” Karamatsu tried to glare at his brother from the corner of his eye but all he saw was the ear pick. Poised and ready to enter his ear. He squeezed his eyes shut in terror, tears escaping. “Stop! Please!”
“Heheh,” Ichimatsu grinned devilishly from above him. “Alright, niisan, in five...”
“Ichimatsu! Please, please!” Karamatsu pleaded, near sobbing.
“Four.”
Karamatsu tried to turn his head but Ichimatsu just put more weight on his hand. The carpet rubbed painfully against his cheek but Karamatsu didn’t stop begging, even as Ichimatsu calmly continued to count.
“Three.”
Karamatsu felt the ear pick touch the outer shell of his ear and promptly lost it.
“MOMMY! DADDY! OSOMATSU! SOMEBODY! HELP! HELP ME!”
“Two and one,” Ichimatsu finished rather quickly and suddenly the ear pick was in his ear.
Karamatsu stopped breathing. His throat closed up, his body tensed in terror, and his soul left his body. He awaited death of the worst kind.
He never thought this would be how he left this world. He always figured his brothers would murder him but never by cleaning his ears. Maybe it would have been better if it had been Osomatsu. In a flash, huh? He should have just accepted that because there was no way Ichimatsu would be quick. He’d make it slow and painful just to watch him suffer. That was just how his precious little brother worked.
Goodbye, cruel world.
But time stretched on without pain. It wasn’t until Karamatsu’s lungs started screaming for air and he had to breathe that he realized it was because the ear pick… actually felt good? The gentle drag of it in his ear canal and the occasional brush of the soft end wasn’t bad at all. If anything, it was soothing.
And not at all what he expected. Especially from Ichimatsu.
Karamatsu dared to open his eyes to sneak a peek at Ichimatsu. The man still sat on him, still held his head still with his hand, but gone was that evil smirk from before. Ichimatsu’s face was smooth in his usual lazy expression.
And… was he humming?!
He was! And Karamatsu recognized the tune as something their mother used to hum as she cleaned out all six of their ears one by one.
Honestly, Karamatsu couldn’t tell what was more terrifying. The fact the ear pick was still in his ear or this foreign behaviorfrom Ichimatsu!?
What did this mean? Ichimatsu had to be playing at something. Maybe some type of long game where Karamatsu’s eardrums end up getting penetrated after such a soothing experience? Like when something horrible happens after you let your guard down, perhaps?
Suddenly, the pressure against his head lifted and the ear pick slipped back out of his ear. Karamatsu blinked in surprise, looking back up to his brother.
Ichimatsu slipped off his back and settled next to him, legs crossed and ear pick held innocently in one hand. Like it wasn’t some weapon of terror.
“... uh…” Karamatsu looked at his brother in confusion when no words were spoken.
Ichimatsu raised an eyebrow slightly.
“You have to roll over now. Unless you want me to stop?” Ichimatsu said simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Karamatsu stared at him in disbelief.
“I wanted you to stop earlier.”
“Hmmmm?” Ichimatsu leaned forward, his razor-sharp smile cutting across his face. “But you wanted your ears cleaned, right? Doesn’t it feel better already? Can’t only have one side done, can you?”
Karamatsu recognized this ploy as the one Ichimatsu had used when they’d all been sick. When he’d dangled cold washcloths in front of their faces and made them call him Ichimatsu-sama.
Was that Ichimatsu’s game?!
What was worse is that Ichimatsu was right. It did feel better. It had been so long since Karamatsu had his ears cleaned. His mother used to do it secretly but she’d told him a NEET needed to learn how to take care of himself.
Karamatsu wiped the leftover tears from his cheeks, glaring down at the carpet.
“... Are you going to sit on me again?” he asked, miserably, resigned to his fate.
“Only if you start freaking out again,” Ichimatsu said honestly, straightening back up and patting his leg in a clear invitation.
Karamatsu gulped and steeled himself. Every fiber of his being was telling him to run away. It had to be a trap. Ichimatsu was going to stab him or cut off his ear or something… but he really wanted his ear cleaned. And Ichimatsu had already done more than Osomatsu had managed.
“Okay,” Karamatsu took a deep, soothing breath. “Okay, okay, aahh…” He crawled the short distance and set his head on Ichimatsu’s lap, uncleaned ear facing up.
“Good. See? Isn’t this easier already?,” Ichimatsu praised with a chuckle. HIs fingers brushed Karamatsu’s hair away from his ear gently. “Do you want me to count again?”
“Y-yes please,” Karamatsu stuttered, hands wringing nervously.
“Alright, from five then,” Ichimatsu situated the ear pick and Karamatsu squeezed his eyes shut. “You scream and you’re going to have to go around with one ear uncleaned, got it?”
Karamatsu nodded in understanding.
And then the counting started. His heart hammered the entire time but Karamatsu didn’t start screaming. Even when the ear pick slipped into his ear.
And, after a while, he even started to relax. Ichimatsu’s nails scraped soothingly against his scalp in time with the ear pick. The humming started up again; and before Karamatsu knew it, he had started to float along the edge of consciousness.
When Ichimatsu announced he was done, Karamatsu almost felt regret that it was over. He had nearly fallen asleep under his brother’s care! It was a miracle in itself. This calm? During an ear cleaning? When was the last time that had happened? There was no sudden stab of pain or Ichimatsu suddenly flipping the script. And his ears were cleaned for the first time in forever! It felt so amazing!
Karamatsu tilted his head to look up at Ichimatsu. It was as if he didn’t know the man in front of him at all. Ichimatsu leaned back onto his hands, ear pick discarded to the side, and stared back at him.
It took a few more beats of silence before irritation furrowed the other’s brow.
“What?” Ichimatsu demanded.
“I’m just… pleasantly surprised, Ichimatsu. Thank you. I really appreciate you cleaning my ears,” Karamatsu said sincerely and Ichimatsu rolled his eyes.
“I’m not going to stab you in the damn eardrum. Osomatsu-niisan wouldn’t have either if you’d just stopped screaming,” he pointed out.
“Aah… I suppose you heard all that, huh?” Karamatsu muttered, a little embarrassed of how he’d acted.
Now that the cleaning was over, his reaction felt completely absurd.
“Hard not to. You screamed so loud you scared the cats away. I don’t blame Osomatsu-niisan for abandoning you.”
“Y-yeah, I suppose I don’t either. I was just, uh…”
Oh, god, there was no way he was going to admit out loud to Ichimatsu that he was scared.
Ichimatsu grunted, shifting his position slightly. It was then that Karamatsu realized his head was still in his brother’s lap. That wasn’t normal. Oh my god, had his brother actually been switched? Was this a doppelganger?!
“You know, Karamatsu…,” Ichimatsu started quietly, looking away from him. “If you’re actually scared of something, I don’t think any of us are the type of assholes to use that against you. Well, except maybe Todomatsu. Probably.”
Karamatsu blinked in surprise at the comforting words and then immediately burst into tears.
“W-what the hell!? Why are you crying now?!” Ichimatsu spluttered and Karamatsu hugged his brother around the middle, head still in his lap.
“T-thank you for your kindness, buraza!”
“Urg, shut up already!” Ichimatsu groaned in embarrassment, cheeks flaming red.
“No! I really do appreciate this, Ichimatsu! You’re such a kind, thoughtful brother! I’ll repay you back with a thousand—OOF!” Karamatsu rolled off his brother’s lap at the impact of Ichimatsu’s foot into his gut. “W-what?! What happened to my sweet and kind little brother?!” he asked, indignant from the sudden switch.
Ichimatsu snatched him up by his shirt and brought him in close, eyes dark.
“That shit doesn’t leave this room. Don’t mention it. Ever,” Ichimatsu said threateningly before he released him.
Ichimatsu was out the door before Karamatsu even managed to gain his footing.
“A-ah! Wait, Ichimatsu!” he rushed after him, having to take the steps two at a time to catch up. “At least let me repay my debts! Is there anything you want? Need? I will get it for you, dear buraza!”
“Did you not hear a word I just said?” Ichimatsu hissed as he slipped into his sandals, hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“I heard! I heard!” Karamatsu snatched the back of the purple hoodie, just barely stopping his brother from leaving the house. “But there has to be something you’d like, brother! Hmm, I could write you a song! Or introduce one of my Karamatsu Girls to you, hmm? Hmmm?! What is it you’d like?!”
“Definitely not any of that,” Ichimatsu growled out, trying to jerk out of Karamatsu’s hold. “I don’t need you to repay me back. Now let me go, I’m hungry.”
Karamatsu perked up at that.
“Oh! Where are you eating?”
“Ah,” Ichimatsu blinked at the question before he shrugged slightly. “Dunno. Probably just something at a convenience store.”
“Then that’s it, buraza!” Karamatsu pulled his sunglasses out of nowhere and struck a pose. “I can make you lunch! Anything you’d like! Nothing is too hard, too impossible, for the likes of me, little brother! Just name it!”
Ichimatsu frowned at the offer. He looked as if he would still walk out the door at any minute.
“What about that ramen you used to make?”
“Hmm?” Karamatsu frowned in thought. “Ah, you mean the one from high school?”
“Yeah, that’s the one,” Ichimatsu admitted softly, looking away from Karamatsu. “I tried to make it myself but it’s never turned out quite the same.”
That was surprising. It had been during Karamatsu’s experimenting in the kitchen phase. He’d made the dish purely by accident but Ichimatsu, and himself, had loved it so much that it was their dinner nearly twice a week back then. Karamatsu hadn’t made it since high school, though. But he kept the recipe… somewhere. Just in case.
“You know what, nevermind, I don’t even know why I asked. It isn’t like I want you to pay me back anyway,” Ichimatsu suddenly started saying, backtracking quickly.
“Ichimatsu!” Karamatsu grabbed a hold of his brother’s hoodie again, pulling him back before he could escape. “Of course I can make it! Easily! Anytime you want! Just ask!”
“I d-didn’t ask! You were just—” Ichimatsu’s face heated up and he growled under his breath. “I said forget it!”
“Hmm, if you’re sure, I suppose,” Karamatsu said, releasing his brother, but tapping a finger to his chin in false thought. “But then I’ll be forced to ask the others how I could possibly pay you back for such a kind deed!”
Karamatsu smirked at the look of horror that crossed Ichimatsu’s face.
“I… urg, you’re fucking impossible. Why would you even want to tell people you had your brother clean your ears out?” Ichimatsu snapped, kicking off his sandals angrily. “Go make the damn ramen and it better be delicious!”
“Oh, it will be!” Karamatsu laughed, patting his brother’s back, as he led him into the sitting room. “Just relax here, dear buraza! I’ll have it done post-haste!”
Ichimatsu dropped his head on the table with a groan as Karamatsu slid the door shut in the kitchen, still laughing.
————————
“Urg, I can’t believe I lost,” Osomatsu grumbled, fists shoved into his pockets. Seriously, he actually had a lot of money this time around and he didn’t make any of it back! What was with his shitty luck today?
He shoved the front door open with a grumble. The smell of food helped settle his irritation a little. But it was the sight of Karamatsu and Ichimatsu sitting calmly in the same room that completely obliterated it.
It actually threw him through a loop.
Karamatsu was sitting at the table with one of his magazines and Ichimatsu sat across from him, head on the table and trying to sneak glances at the pages. There were two bowls next to them with the dregs of ramen leftover.
“Oh…,” Ichimatsu lifted his head up, noticing Osomatsu first. “Welcome home, Osomatsu-niisan.”
“Uh… yeah,” Osomatsu looked between the two for a moment before he flopped down next to Karamatsu. “Aah, there’s ramen? Really?”
“We’ve already finished it, Osomatsu,” Karamatsu said with a huff, turning the page of the magazine once more.
“Aah, come on, Karamatsu! I want some!”
“Too bad, just consider this punishment for abandoning me earlier. Go get your own food,” his brother said with absolutely no sympathy.
“Whaa, you’re still mad at that?” Osomatsu groaned, leaning over the table. “You wouldn’t stop screaming! It was impossible! I’ll do it now if you want! Then you gotta make me ramen!”
“No. It’s already done, you missed your chance for ramen!” Karamatsu snapped.
Osomatsu tilted his head in surprise. Then he took in the two empty bowls and Ichimatsu suddenly looking away, and he grinned.
“Ooh? Glad you found someone who could handle your screaming,” Osomatsu said knowingly.
Karamatsu’s eyes widened and Ichimatsu dropped his head further into his arms to hide his face. So cute! Osomatsu couldn’t help but think how obvious his brothers were.
“No, no, buraza!” Karamatsu quickly started, trying to cover his tracks. “I did it myself! Just like you said I should! I have gotten over my fear!”
“Heheh! If that’s the case, then you owe me ramen for helping you get over your fear, right?” Osomatsu pointed out, leaning in with a grin.
“No! I don’t!” Karamatsu said firmly.
“Ah, no fun, Karamatsu,” Osomatsu groaned. “You can’t blame me for not being able to do it! You were stressing me out with all that screaming!”
“You were the one stressing me out, Osomatsu! In a flash!? Really?!”
“Ne, ne, Ichimatsu, you heard him right? He was so loud!” Osomatsu fell back onto Ichimatsu, leaning heavily against his back.
“Hm, he was loud,” Ichimatsu mumbled his agreement into his sleeves. “Thought you were fighting actually.”
“Awh, is that why you came upstairs when I was leaving? Did you wanna make sure your oniichans were okay?” Osomatsu teased.
“What? No! I figured you were done so I could grab my cat treats! Why would I care if you and Shittymatsu were fighting?!”
Osomatsu laughed and threw his arm over Ichimatsu’s shoulders to pull him into a hug.
“So cute, Ichimacchan! You’re just so cute!”
“Urg, please stop, Osomatsu-niisan,” Ichimatsu mumbled but didn’t exactly struggle. “I’m not going to make you ramen either.”
Osomatsu gasped, offended. “What am I supposed to eat then!?”
“Not my problem,” Ichimatsu said, pushing Osomatsu away by his face.
“Not my problem, either,” Karamatsu said simply when Osomatsu turned to him again.
“Urg, you two are the worst!” he huffed as he stood back up and headed to the door. He supposed he’d just go to the convenience store to get something.
As he was slipping his shoes back on, Osomatsu happened to glance back into the sitting room. Karamatsu turned the magazine to Ichimatsu, who glanced and pointed at something on the page.
The small smile on Ichimatsu’s face was enough to make Osomatsu less irritated by the team up.