Chapter Text
Ten months after the defeat of Dracula
Darcy
The sound of something heavy crashing against wall downstairs woke me up. Cursing, I pulled a pillow over my head and tried to get back to sleep, but the noise didn't stop. The sound of breaking glass made me grind my teeth together, as the lack of sleep hammered my head. I was not going to get up. No. It was night. Decent people slept at night. If I found out who was making that racket, I swore I'd see them shot at first light.
"It's clobbering time!", the roar was loud enough to pass through the stone walls of Castle Doom. Against my fervent prayers to any god who was listening, I heard an angry wail from the cradle. I wanted to cry for sheer desperation, because I had listened that sound every night for a week now, never sleeping longer than two hours, and I would kill the bastard who had woken her Royal Highness. I pushed the covers aside and pulled the dressing gown over my nightshirt. I held the crying baby against my shoulder, and opened the writing desk drawer. The dressing gown had two pockets. One for my taser, and after a short consideration, I loaded Victor's Mauser pistol and put it on other pocket. The lack of sleep was severely affecting my judgement.
The noise got only louder when we walked down the grand stairs. It was coming from the great hall. I recognized the voices - apparently we were hosting Fantastic Fools at 3 AM, and they were destroying my furniture. Sophie started to sob against my shoulder.
"Hold her.", I told 621-161 who had followed us from upstairs. Then I took the taser in my hand and slipped inside.
The fight was on. They were making so much noise nobody even heard me coming.Storm siblings were fighting against Victor, and Johnny had evidently burned my new, nice curtains. Richards was stretching himself between twenty Doombots trying to rip him apart, while Thing was just about to heave a bench on them.
"It's clobbering time!", the idiot yelled again. I jumped forwards and hit my taser on his neck. The electricity burst was short but sweet, and Thing fell like a tree, breaking the stone flab floor. The crash was big enough to make them finally notice me. I rose up from the floor and strode towards Richards, who was still held by Doombots.
"So that's where my new fusion battery disappeared.", Victor remarked in mildly surprised voice. Sophie's angry wail from other room was easy to discern. My head hurt. I shifted, targeting Richards, and shot a white line of light towards his soul. The line hit the target, and I let it stay. Shifting back, I took the pistol from my other pocket and hissed:
"Do you know what time it is? It's 3.20 at night, and I haven't slept for three nights because Sophie is teething. You came here, trashed my home and YOU WOKE HER UP!", my voice rose into shrill. "I was so sure I could finally sleep, and then you come here, uninvited."
"But--", Richards tried to interrupt me.
"No buts.", I hissed, pointing the Mauser at him. He tried to stretch away. "No stupid nonsense about war crimes or world peace. If you are such a genius, how is it possible you have no idea of time zones?"
"I'm holding his soul.", I said to Sue and Johnny. And I pulled the line a bit for good measure. Richard's face grew pale as a sheet. "Now you are going to clean up the mess you made, pay for damages by Paypal transfer and he, as your leader, is going to make Sophie sleep. Otherwise I swear I'll rip him apart."
"And then?", Johnny asked, swallowing.
"You get the fuck out of here. And never come back when I'm sleeping.", I aimed at Johnny and pressed the trigger. The bullet shot by his ear, grazing the earlobe before hitting the stone wall.
"You missed.", he said, wiping his bloody earlobe.
"She did not.", Victor corrected, letting go of Sue Storm. "Dead people can't clean, but those who are lucky enough to be still bleeding, would do well to remember what they are told to do."
Twenty minutes later I was sitting on the bench with Victor, safe inside his force field, and watching how Fantastic Fools cleaned up. Reed Richards was really bad with babies. He kept flinging desperate looks over his shoulder at Sue, when Sophie screamed in his arms, but Sue was very strictly not paying any attention to him. Johnny was collecting pieces of broken furniture while an accountant from ministry of finance walked around the room, making list of damages.
"Do you want hot chocolate?", I asked from Sue.
"It would be great, thanks."
"Go to kitchen and tell them to make three mugs of hot chocolate. I want lots of whipped cream.", I commanded 621-161. My head hurt like hell. The lack of sleep was beating my poor brain in time with my pulse.
"Could you?", I pleaded Victor.
"Of course.", he said and cupped his fingers against the back of my head, pushing hair out of way. The pain of healing magic was actually easier than the headache. I drew a deep breath, relaxed against his hand and closed my eyes for a second. Oh, it was lovely being married to man who could just magic my headache away.
"You know it's not going to go away before you sleep.", he reminded, pulling me closer. "This is just a temporary solution."
"I'm not against sleeping. She is.", I waved towards Sophie who was staring at us, her little face red and annoyed over Reed Richard's shoulder.
"You said she is having teeth?", Sue asked and accepted a mug of hot chocolate from 621-161. "I remember that phase with Franklin and Valeria. It was plain awful. When did you last sleep?"
"I think it was between Monday and Tuesday.", I leaned against Victor's shoulder and started eating the whipped cream.
"Sunday and Monday.", he corrected. "You spent Monday night walking around the throne room and singing Five Little Elephants."
Sophies screams had changed into screeching of joy. Reed Richards was holding her by arms and helping her to walk over unconscious Thing. She jumped up and down on her pudgy feet. Victor snickered.
"What are you doing, Reed?", Storm called him out. "You really should not strengthen any villainous tendencies she might have inherited. Making her dance on a body of fallen enemy is simply not right! I'm calling the child protection services. If they have any in Latveria."
"I'm merely hoping she'll get tired.", Reed replied. "And my ears were hurting."
"I'm just wondering", Sue said, "why are you staying up with her? You have a castle full of servants who could watch over her. I know it's hard to come in terms with letting others to care your baby, especially the first one, but you just can't go on like this. It's impossible, especially considering our line of work. Superheroics can take days at the time, and you can't really postpone the mission until you get a nanny. If the world is ending or vampires attack, you have to leave on spot. It would be far better for both of you if you got someone while it's still peaceful, and Sophie could get used to her nurse bit by bit."
"I guess you are right.", I sighed, closing my eyes. I was so close to drifting into sleep. I breathed Victor's familiar scent of metal and soap, leaning against his armor. For once, Sophie was not between us, screaming at me or clinging from my skirt. The headache was gone. I might be in heaven.
"Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.", Sue said and grimaced when accountant gave her a tablet with accounting of damage. "You can always take the child care costs out of science budget. Looking at your bill, I can tell Reed's is going to be significantly slashed this month." Her mouth was a thin line, when she entered her details and the payment was processed.
"What is Reed doing?", I asked, feeling so very tired.
"Reciting digits of π to Sophie.", Victor replied, pulling me on his lap. I let my head rest against his chest.
"Is he trying to bore her into sleep?"
"Yes. It's working.", Victor said. "I'm going to take Susan's excellent suggestion and hire people to take care of Sophie. In shifts."
"Whatever.", I murmured, not willing to make an effort to argue. Lovely, relaxed warmth was spreading through my body. Last thing I remember was Victor saying to Sue:
"You have done Doom a favor tonight, Susan, and for that I will let you leave without further violence. But be quiet. She is finally sleeping."