Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Right Amount of Sugar

He's made up his mind. After months of anguished wondering and waiting and praying and dreaming, he is finally going to put his foot down and do it. The box clenched within his tense fingers is growing slightly clammy from his sweat, his nervousness sending his heart racing like a jackhammer against his ribcage. For a moment, he is grateful that his bangs cover up his forehead, hiding beads of perspiration.

He's not usually like this. He is supposed to be better than this. He is the Riku Crescent, after all- the captain of the blitzball team, the presumed valedictorian, the top of their class. He should be more confident in himself.

But Mr. Scientia isn't exactly a normal teacher. Mr. Scientia deserves the best.

Riku only hopes that, in Mr. Scientia's eyes, he will be enough.

His Law and Government teacher's classroom door is open. Dodging garlands of pink and red streamers which have already begun to fall down, he ignores the post-school Valentine's Day carnage fluttering in the weak air conditioning circulating through empty hallways. It is already nearly four o'clock. He has blitzball practice soon. It's now or never.

So, he sucks in a deep, shuddering breath and steps inside, smiling weakly at the man who has stolen his heart ever since the first day of the school year. Mr. Scientia is just as beautiful and strong and intelligent and poised as ever, and Riku's ears feel like they're burning under the intensity of his stare.

"Hey, Mr. S," he murmurs, gripping the box tightly behind his back.

The man looks up at him with a pleasant smile, eyes crinkling at the corners from over rectangular, wire-framed glasses. "Riku Crescent. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

The way the word "pleasure" slides off of the older man's tongue makes Riku's knees weak.

Still, he steps forward, putting on the greatest masquerade of confidence and swagger he can muster. He saunters (stumbles) up to the desk, smoothly (clumsily) pulling the box of chocolate out from behind his back. He only drops the box once, so it feels like a success.

With that piercing stare that only Ignis Scientia could manage, the box of chocolate and attached note are examined thoroughly. Beautiful eyes flick across line after line, expression not shifting an inch. Riku begins to sweat even more profusely, feeling his knees begin to tremble, his vision blurring a little in his panic.

After what feels like an eternity, Mr. Scientia looks up. "I was not expecting that from you, Riku," he admits, voice almost bemused.

Riku wants to curl up and die.

His teacher continues, "It's a lovely sentiment. I shall enjoy this chocolate with my partner. Thank you very much."

He's taken. He's in a relationship. And the realization brings tears to Riku's eyes unbidden. He smiles and nods, waving goodbye to his favourite teacher ever, shifting his schoolbag over his shoulder as he pinches his eyes shut. I will not cry. I will not-

But by all evil twists of fate, he runs into someone just as he is leaving the classroom, barely able to hold it together. Larxene Gray snarls and pouts, righting herself and smacking bubblegum between glossy lips. As she takes in Riku's twisted expression, trailing her eyes back to the box of chocolates and pink wrapping paper and opened note sitting on Mr. Scientia's desk, the pieces click into place before Riku can say anything.

"Well… that was unexpected," she murmurs coyly.

And so, that is how Riku Crescent unwillingly came out of the closet.

xXx

"Are you there, Riku?" his mother repeated, her annoyance coming through clearly across the phone.

It snapped Riku out of his daydream with a start, the man nearly dropping his phone in surprise. Clearing his throat, he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. The headache which was beginning to creep behind his eyes was going to be unbearable later, he just knew it. "I'm not getting married, Mom. No matter how many times you ask-"

"You just need to meet the right girl!" the woman insisted, voice growing shrill. There was an edge of hysteria to her words as she repeated, "You're a good, eligible bachelor, Riku, and you are wasting your youth cooped up in Radiant Garden-"

"I'm happy here, Mom." Far away from you.

She clicked her tongue, clearly preparing to repeat the same circular conversation yet again. Riku found himself quickly tuning it all out. It was a conversation they had had hundreds of times before, after all.

So, as she began to berate him yet again for his life choices, Riku's eyes drifted instead over to his many monitors. The debugging program for his latest client was running on his work PC, while a group chat consisting of his small circle of college friends filled another screen, the dialogue streaming in non-stop as his friends provided running commentary on a show they had been watching together. His gaze flickered over their hundreds of comments as he idly changed a setting on the chat, muting it for eight hours rather than just the thirty minutes he had planned for. They're going to be watching that all day, huh?

He would scroll back through their never-ending banter that night in bed, as always. They wouldn't mind if he lurked on the outside- it was what he always did.

His mother was still going on her usual rant in his ear, so he stood, stretching out a kink in his back. Almost a decade since Larxene Gray had spread the truth of his sexuality around Midgar, and his parents still couldn't accept it. He paid attention for a moment, humming along as she insisted, yet again, that he should come back and live in Midgar. Back where they could keep an eye on him.

He wouldn't return- at least, not permanently. It had made sense for him to leave his parents' city, despite having received a full-ride blitzball scholarship from Shinra's private, much more local college. At least in Radiant Garden, no one knew him as 'the gay Crescent boy'. At least in Radiant Garden, he was free to lust after any man he fancied. The men of Midgar had known of his reputation long before he had even remotely begun searching for romantic partners- there was no chance he'd meet someone there. And even if he did meet someone, his parents would ensure he'd never see them again.

Finally, it seemed like his mother had run out of steam. "You know we… we care about you, right Riku?"

You care, but you don't love me anymore. She hadn't said that word since his junior year- since the truth came out. "I know, Mom," he said emotionlessly, walking through the silent apartment barefoot to reach his kitchen. "I know."

"Good. Just… try and find a girl, okay?"

"Take care, Mom." And he hung up, letting out a heavy sigh. Just like that, another phone call taken care of. He wouldn't have to listen to her rants again for at least a few more weeks.

Riku slid the device across his kitchen table, running his hands through platinum-blond hair. I should cut this, he thought idly, flipping his overgrown bangs upwards. It's getting out of hand. Pulling the ingredients for a simple breakfast out of the fridge, he froze as he walked past the microwave for a moment, his reflection staring back at him accusingly.

He was twenty-six years old. A highly successful twenty-six-year-old, with a lovely apartment and a solid career and numerous accolades to his name. Photos from college blitzball tournaments lined the top of the bookshelf in his living room, the tiny frames just visible around the corner of his kitchen- those photos recounted so many conquered opponents that he couldn't even remember most of them.

And he, the highly-successful twenty-six-year-old Riku Crescent, was single, and he was gay. And thus, nothing else he had ever achieved really mattered.

His reflection betrayed his discontent, his long hair falling into his eyes and past his shoulders with every movement. He groaned, grabbing a headband off his dining table and forcing it all back out of his face. While he didn't mind long hair in theory- he looked damn good with it, he knew- it still didn't change the fact that long hair made him look far too much like his father, and that was a resemblance he refused to partake in.

His phone beeped. Glancing at the screen, he rolled his eyes on instinct, a new message flashing from a potential dating match. Why did I let Zack convince me to download this app? Still, curiosity won him over, and he opened it up with barely a second's hesitation.

It took a moment for the sent image to register in his mind, much to his chagrin. He promptly closed the app and tossed his phone back down, directing himself back to the stove to make himself food. If he was going to be bitter and exhausted, at least he could have a full belly.

The good thing about taking on the draining calls from his mother was that he always felt a little freer afterwards. Although it took him some time to recuperate the mental energy needed to carry on with his day (along with two more cups of coffee- the woman could never appreciate the three-hour time difference between their cities, and would likely always call him early on Saturday mornings for their 'chats') he finally did find himself ready to begin the day. And, after a quick workout in his apartment complex's gym and a shower, he felt like himself again.

Booking the appointment with his hair stylist slipped his mind, though.

Still, life carried on. Riku's every day was nothing too interesting nor impressive, but it was his, and that was good enough. While he knew the next phone call with his mother would inevitably take place, for the time being, he could pretend like there was no familial disappointment awaiting him on the other end. It wasn't like he saw his parents often- they were generally far too busy in Midgar to fly out, and he had no intention of visiting them without a solid reason.

So, it was to everyone's surprise (read: all of Riku's friends, who were just as embittered with the treatment of his queerness as he was) that his next phone call with the woman who raised him sounded almost… loving.

"We've bought you tickets to come home, honey," the woman crooned. "We've spent so long apart. It's been what, eight years? You need to come home, even if it's just for a little while."

"Um- but work-"

"Oh, honey, I'm sure you've saved up vacation time. Please come? We miss you so."

Riku didn't know how to respond. For a long while, he just sat in silence, desperately trying to process what he had just been told. They wanted to see him? His parents? His parents? Wanted Riku?

His friends were overjoyed when he told them of the trip he would soon be taking out to Midgar. "See, Riku? They're proud of you!" Aerith cheered, clapping her hands excitedly.

Yuffie's grin nearly split her face in two. "Aw, Riku is fixing the tormented relationship with his family members!" she squeaked, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. How she did it despite the large restaurant table between them, he didn't know.

Cloud merely patted him on the back. "It's weird, going back home," he confessed sagely. "I didn't know what to say when I got there."

"Yeah, so I had to do all the talking," Tifa groaned. "God forbid either of these two would say anything useful." The two childhood friends had taken Leon and gone back to their hometown of Nibelheim to visit estranged family members during the Christmas holiday, so they were the resident experts in pilgrimages back home.

Riku merely groaned, making exasperated eye contact with Cloud's partner. Leon simply shrugged and shook his head. Yup. You definitely didn't say a word when meeting Cloud's parents. Quiet bastard.

And yet, despite all of the teasing from his friends, it would've been a complete lie to say that he wasn't excited to see his parents. Over the phone, his mother had sounded excited. It was a stark contrast to the day he had moved out.

Even now, he winced on instinct when he thought of the violence he had seen that day.

Cid plopped a jug of happy-hour-beer on the table, waving off cheers and hollers from the rest of the group. Looking at Riku solemnly, the man murmured, "It might be good for you, kid. Reconnecting and all that jazz. Give it a shot."

The thought of reconnecting with his family sounded amazing- in theory. "Maybe it will be nice to go back," he pondered aloud. "I… I haven't really thought about the actual possibility in a long time."

"Go for it, Riku!" Yuffie hollered, pouring more beer into his glass. "It'll be amazing- you can reconnect with the fam, and see why they've had a pole up their asses all these years-"

"Yuffie," Leon warned lowly.

"What? It's true!" The impish woman turned back to Riku, protested her innocence. "I'm right, right Riku?"

"You're not wrong," he conceded, drawing a barking laugh out of Cid and Cloud. Still, the gang refilled mugs and came together to toast his trip home- to renewing old relationships and finding family and everything else the rowdy group could come up with in the otherwise-idle bar.

And yet, a little voice in his mind screamed in denial. How could he go home? How could he go back to the family that had, upon finding out his sexuality, denied everything about him? How could he look his parents in the eye and smile when they had turned away from him in his greatest time of need, essentially forcing him to keep silent about who he was? "If you can't change, then just don't make us more ashamed," his father had boomed before slamming his study door in Riku's face upon finding out.

What place did Riku still have in that house?

It was on a whim that Riku decided to book a cheap hotel room to stay at during the weekend he'd be returning to Midgar. He wasn't going to use it- his mother had insisted that he would stay at home so they could 'spend time together'- but he felt it was only right to have a backup.

Just in case.

…He didn't want to use his 'just in case'.

Still, since he had booked the place anyways, he decided to drop off his bags there three weeks later upon arrival. The flight over to Midgar had been fairly short, but getting through airports was always exhausting, and due to delays, he was already running late. Understanding the delay with the airline, they had agreed to transport his stuff back to their family home after their evening meal was concluded. Apparently, they were going to take him out to dinner.

Okay. Neutral ground, a public place. They can't throw anything at me in public. I'll be fine.

So, in his tiny hotel room, he showered and threw on a decent button-down and a pair of slacks. Mournfully, he realized his hair was still too long- he'd forgotten to cut it each weekend, and now it was a little too late- so he tied it low at the nape of his neck and hopped on the familiar, screaming trains that circled around the perimeter of Midgar.

When he arrived, his parents were waiting outside of the restaurant. His mother's blue eyes lit up in pure bliss when she saw him, the woman immediately pulling him into her arms. He stiffened in the embrace, slow to return the gesture. When he did, however, it was startling to see just how easily the petite woman fit into his arms.

Had she always been so small? The last time he had seen her properly, he had been a downtrodden teen barely on the cusp of eighteen. It was almost jarring to see how much thinner she felt.

But still, she had power over him. When she let go of him, she reached up to cup his cheek and coo over how handsome he was. Riku nearly cried at the touch. He didn't.

His father, however, hadn't changed. Upon facing him, Riku felt his shoulders automatically straighten and push back, chest puffing up ever-so-slightly, chin raising to look the man in the eye. Cold, calculating green stared back at him, appraising the young man from head to toe. Despite every inch of his body screaming at him to run away, his heart pounding in his chest and his spine tight from the closeness, Riku didn't flinch, didn't waver.

A cold smirk lit up his father's face. The older man brushed his nearly waist-length, silvery-blond hair out of his eyes. Riku's heart recoiled at how similar his own reflection looked to the man before him. I need to cut my hair the moment I get back.

"Welcome back, Riku," his father said evenly. "We can catch up inside- shall we?"

Riku nodded curtly, holding the door open for his parents. He did his best to maintain eye contact with his father as the man walked past. It wasn't easy, but he did it.

I'm not the same kid I once was, I guess. That small victory was enough to put a little spring back in his tense steps.

The establishment was typical of his father's tastes- classic, minimalistic and elegant. There was very little fluff to liven up the dimly lit restaurant, but every tablecloth, glass, napkin, utensil- everything screamed of wealth and class and high society. As they took their seats, the waiter immediately launching into the day's soups and meats and the appropriate wine pairings, Riku's mind drifted. I wish I was at home. He had frozen pizzas at home. He'd take those over this nonsense any day.

It took a few minutes for him to understand the implications of where they were seated. "Mom, why did we get such a big table?" he asked, worry rising up within him at an alarming rate.

He was right to have reacted as such, apparently. Barely a beat passed since the words left his lips before a voice called, "Sephiroth! Is this your boy?"

His father stood, a business-like grin settling upon his face with ease. Riku, however, paid no mind to the words coming out of his father's mouth- instead, he simply stood when commanded, heart sinking into his shoes as he turned to look at their apparent guests as they took a seat at the Crescent's table. There were three people- an older couple, jovial and welcoming in the way that only businesspeople could be, and a young woman, likely in college still.

He knew what this was. This wasn't a trip to reconnect broken bonds between family members. This was a trip to introduce Riku to a woman.

This was just another chance for his parents to deny Riku's very being yet again.

He was going to be sick.

The only thing that brought a modicum of joy to his dizzy, spinning world was the fact that the young woman looked about as uncomfortable as he felt. At least I'm not alone.

After reeling back in silent horror for too long, he began to pay attention to the conversation again at the most inopportune time, apparently. His mother groaned, "Riku's getting a little old to be unmarried-" Woman, I'm only 26! "-so this is just the perfect opportunity."

The mother of the frustrated young woman clicked her tongue in weary agreement. "It's true, our darling is also getting up in years-"

"Mom, I'm only 24," the daughter grumbled.

She was promptly ignored. Her mother continued, "Her twin brother's already taken, you see, so we've been so worried about who she's going to end up with! Boys can wait a little longer, you know how it goes." She turned to Riku, asking, "So, what do you think of our daughter?"

Riku didn't even feign a smile when the woman smiled at him, looking for approval of her daughter.

An icy moment of silence fell over the table as they awaited his response. Riku closed his eyes, trying his damnedest to ignore the furious glare from his mother boring into the side of his head. Still, he didn't respond.

It was his father who finally broke the nearly-unbearable quiet. "We'll let the young ones discuss amongst themselves." The man stood, walking around behind Riku's chair to place firm, icy hands upon his shoulders. "I'm sure Riku would love to get to know her better in privacy, right?"

Mutely, Riku nodded, cursing himself for cowering. He couldn't help it, though- the waves of hatred and anger emanating from the looming figure behind him were too much to bear, so utterly different from the feigned politeness from outside the restaurant.

And so, the four older figures left the table, gossiping cordially as they left their children behind along with tension thick enough to suffocate someone.

The moment they were out of earshot, the girl leaned forward, tapping the table to get Riku's attention. He turned to look back at her with a start. "Look, bud," she began in a surprisingly boyish timbre, her wide blue eyes and round, open face oddly menacing, "I don't know who you are or why you asked your parents to set this up-"

"I didn't set anything up-" Riku interjected, but she barrelled over him.

"-but you are barking up the wrong tree, mister."

Riku scoffed, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. Why's she so angry? "Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but my family just asked me to visit home for once. I didn't know this was happening."

"A likely story," the girl spat, tucking long brown strands behind her ear. "Either way, I'm not the person you want, so you can go and tell your parents that I'm not marrying you and that's that."

There was a low edge to the girl's voice- something that was nagging at the back of his mind. Why was she so angry? Why was she so bitter?

"Why am I so 'bitter'?"

Riku winced. He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Still, she huffed, "I'm going to tell you this once, and you better not breathe a word of it to anyone because Mom and Dad don't know, but…" and she sighed, taking a moment to clearly psych herself up to share whatever the big secret was.

Finally, the woman seemed to find her balance, looking up determinedly at him. "I'm trans."

Riku blinked at the anxious, angry face in front of him, taking a long moment to just let those words sink in. This figure in front of him, with their wide blue eyes and rosy cheeks, clear skin and smooth brown hair falling in cute waves around fairly thin shoulders covered in a little baby-blue dress… they were transgender?

"Well… shit." Riku sighed, reaching over and grabbing his wine glass. So… she- they're male? They identify as male, that's what they're telling me? And no one knows?! Gulping down the beverage unceremoniously, he placed the glass back onto the table. Am… am I really going to do this?

Looking at his dinner companion's resolute expression, however, he knew the truth. He had no choice.

"It's Sora, right?"

They nodded, bangs falling into their eyes cutely.

Riku held out his hand to shake. "Well, Sora, I'm Riku. You're right- we can't get married. I refuse to get married out of principle, and my parents know this. This just won't work, no matter what- even though you're a transgender man, if you're staying closeted... I don't know how that'll work, because I'm gay."

Despite all of the discomfort he had experienced that evening, the look of joy and kinship in Sora's eyes as the shorter figure took his hand was enough to make Riku's whole night.

Chapter Text

 Right Amount of Sugar

The bar is everything he does not need at the moment, but he doesn’t care. The fake ID in his pocket wasn’t even examined when the bouncer let him in- whether that was because the larger man had seen the despondence in his eyes, or because he’d mistaken Riku for a girl with his long, silky hair, Riku doesn’t know. Either way, it doesn’t matter. His mission tonight is simple- get drunk, pick up the pieces tomorrow.

If there were any pieces left, that is. It doesn’t feel like there should be anything left after this.

The look in his mother’s eyes… she had never shown him anything but affection all his life. How could someone so kind, so loving, so tender, just suddenly turn her back on him? He had done everything right! Everything had been going well!

But, all it had taken was a little rumour to shake the foundations of his world.

I can’t stay in Midgar, he thinks miserably as he glances around. The bar which he has stumbled into is dark and grimy, the walls an unflattering muddy brown, the tables creaking wood. He slips into the seat furthest from the door, tucked into the last corner nook at the bar itself, keeping his eyes low. He just wants to drink. He just wants to forget.

The blitzball team of Shinra Private Academy told him that he should quit. As the bartender passes him his first drink, he ponders this- what would life be like without blitzball? I can’t play in Shinra U. if I drop out of it now. His full-ride depended on his blitzball career.

He chokes on his drink as a laugh bubbles up in his throat unbidden. Coughing, he gasps for air, tears swimming in his eyes. A tiny thought flits across his mind as he breathes in, out, in, out, calming himself down. To avoid attracting the skeptical looks of the bartender, he flashes the man a small smile and takes another sip, keeping his eyes low, his tears held in. Dad won’t even let me go to Shinra U. anymore, will he?

Riku knows he has caused ‘too much of a mess’ to stay in the city. His father’s spitting fury, the purple, tender swelling on his stomach, are all proof of that. He’ll have to email other schools. Maybe somewhere far away, somewhere he can escape the oppressive atmosphere of the big city. He had always thought life on top of the Plate meant that he was living freely, but as he feels probing gazes examine him from head to toe from every corner of the dive, he knows that the upper Plate is just as bad as where he finds himself right now- in the slums below it all.

But where would be a good location? He had grown up thinking that Shinra University was the only choice. Were there even other schools that would take him?

Suddenly, a light touch his on his shoulder. “Who made the fake, kid?” a low voice rumbles.

He glances upwards, entire body tensed. He has to run, doesn’t he? But when he makes eye contact with a fair face marked only by a nasty scar across the bridge of a haughty nose, auburn hair falling into stormy grey eyes just as young as his own, the accompanying figure beside the speaker blond and soft and far too pretty to be in the slums, Riku understands. He silently waves them both beside him, and the two teenagers have a seat.

“Reno,” the three of them say in unison, a wry grin crossing all of their faces. Reno makes the fake IDs for all of the richer students. No one asks why or how, but he manages to fool Shinra scanners stationed at the elevators going down into the slums every single time, and that’s good enough for the teens requesting his services.

“I don’t recognize you two,” Riku murmurs.

“Balamb Academy,” the blond mutters in response, nursing his own beer just as clumsily as Riku. “You?”

“Shinra.”

The brunet nods. “Needed a drink after exams today. Only a few months left.”

“Then it’s Radiant Garden.”

“And we’ll be out of here.”

Riku perks up. The University of Radiant Garden is well-known, highly acclaimed, prestigious… everything his family name requires of him.

And it is far enough away that he’d never have to go home again.

“…are applications still open?”

The two other boys exchange wry grins. “You’ve got enough money, so yeah.” At Riku’s confusion, the brunet whispers, “You’re Riku Crescent, right?”

Riku winces, nervously shifting away from them.

“Don’t worry. We get you. Leon,” the brunet offers.

“Cloud,” the blond adds.

“You’re both going to URG?” Riku murmurs.

Cloud nods. “It’ll be better there.”

And, out of the corner of Riku’s eye, he sees Leon reach over and grab Cloud’s hand for just a moment. There are so many layers of wistful grief in Cloud’s voice that Riku makes up his mind on the spot. In the morning, he will search up the admission requirements for Radiant Garden. These two understand. They’ve done their research. He’ll be okay there, probably.

But for now, he will drink.

xXx

By the time Riku and Sora’s parents had returned from their little escape, the two younger people had come to a few conclusions:

First off, the whole situation was garbage, and neither wanted any part in it. They both didn’t want to get married unless they were able to express themselves freely, and with the partners chosen for them by their parents, it wouldn’t happen.

Second, they knew that their parents were quite desperate to have arranged this meeting already. So, as long as they were technically progressing towards a relationship with someone of the ‘opposite’ gender, then their parents would likely leave them both alone.

Third, the two of them got along, surprisingly enough. Sora was loud and rambunctious and silly, the biggest personality in such a small body that Riku had ever seen- hell, he’d even give Yuffie a run for her money, and Riku didn’t think that lightly. But Riku was used to loud and rambunctious and silly, and he easily was able to tease the younger. They had few shared interests, but it was clear they could become fast friends. The chances that the two of them, of all people, would be brought together in an arranged marriage meeting… what were the odds?

“I’m not really out to anyone, so you’ve gotta let me vent to you about stuff, okay dude?” Sora insisted. “I don’t really know many people who are also queer.”

“It’s not exactly something you advertise topside,” Riku murmured wistfully.

So, after they played the fun Pronoun Game (“You call me ‘him’ alone, or with my brother, but you call me ‘her’ or ‘they’ with anyone older than 30,” Sora kept insisting sagely while Riku made mental notes, “and you never text my pronouns- just my name”) their parents walked in on seeing them exchanging phone numbers and messing around. The self-satisfied smirks on all of their faces instantly soured Riku’s mood.

“Isn’t she a lovely girl, Riku?” his mother hummed, stroking Riku’s arm lovingly.

Riku, in return, bit back all of his instinctive wincing and cringing at her insistence of Sora’s ‘femininity’, and forced out a smile. “She… sure is.” He could practically hear the silent cheers of victory coming from his parents- after all, their disgraced son was finally going to have some sense and settle down with a nice girl, right?

Not if I can help it.

With a little bit of nudging and pointed looks shared, the dinner came to a quick close, leaving Sora and Riku to say goodbye whilst their parents keenly observed. Rather than simply waving goodbye like they wanted, Sora threw his arms around Riku’s waist, much to the delight of the older figures watching (it felt almost like having a younger sibling, and the idea amused Riku greatly, although he was sure that his mother misinterpreted his smile for romantic affection) and gave him a squeeze.

Patting brown hair comfortingly, Riku chuckled, “Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will! Thanks, Riku.” Bright blue eyes looked up at him warmly, all the words Sora needed to say conveyed in that one little look. Thanks for getting it, Riku.

No problem, Sora, Riku thought back, waving goodbye as the younger went to rejoin his parents.

As soon as Sora and his family had disappeared, Riku’s mother raced forward, clasping his hands. “You two would make a wonderful couple,” she insisted, looping her arm through Riku’s. “I’m glad we planned this.”

For a moment, Riku’s heart fell. His mother used to be this affectionate with him when he was in high school- they often used to go out on little adventures while his father was on business trips. He missed having the woman by his side unconditionally.

But it wasn’t unconditional. He knew that now.

Pulling his arm away from her, he nodded stiffly to her and his father. “I’ll be heading back to Radiant Garden in the morning,” he stated, deadpan.

His father regarded him for a long, tense moment. Finally, he said, his smooth voice barely concealing his enmity, “You would do well to be kind to that young woman.”

“His- Sora’s father is a business partner?”

“Our family’s business affairs are none of your concern, Riku.”

Riku winced and nodded, feeling exhaustion tugging at his bones. “I’m off.”

His mother pouted, blocking his path. “You promised you’d stay-“

“And you promised you’d respect me. That clearly isn’t happening.” Glaring at the two of them, he took in a deep breath, trying to bite back his bitterness. “Enjoy your evening.” And with that, Riku headed back to the hotel, booking the next tickets he could out of Midgar before even crossing the threshold.

His parents didn’t contact him afterwards. Perhaps they had been appeased that at least Riku was contacting a woman, and that the possibility of him entering a heterosexual relationship was on the horizon. Perhaps Sora’s parents had spoken to them, sharing that Riku did message Sora once he was heading home- or perhaps his parents had finally given up. Either way, he didn’t care. When the next call from his mother didn’t arrive on its usual schedule, he just counted his blessings and moved on.

However, despite his desire to push back against the parents who continued to reject who he was, Riku stayed in contact with Sora. The younger was funny and charming, his vibrant personality coming through on text and video-call easily. It brightened up Riku’s day, whether he’d admit it or not- so much of his work was done at home that it was nice to have such a wild change of energy thanks to Sora.

Despite their close proximity- Sora was a student at URG, it turned out- they never met up. There was no point reinforcing a relationship in the eyes of their parents beyond what was needed to give each of them some freedom. So, the two remained good friends at a distance.

The people most intrigued and invested by the whole situation, as it turned out, were Riku’s friends. For the first few weeks after his return to Radiant Garden, his friends left him alone to decompress after the rough visit. It was still his vacation time, after all. However, once that period of time was ending, they had dragged him out to their favourite pub’s trivia night, anxiously waiting for the full story.

“So why’d you come back early, Riku?” Aerith asked, her eyes full of concern despite her lighthearted tone. “You seemed so ready to stay for a while.”

He shrugged. “It’s… complicated. Nothing really worked out the way we were expecting.”

“Okay… details?” Yuffie asked, smacking her hands down on the wooden table. “You can’t just leave us hanging.”

He was about to share everything, when suddenly, a thought crossed his mind. Pausing Yuffie for a moment, he messaged Sora, asking about whether he could say what happened during the arranged meeting without using his name.

The younger responded in just a few seconds, clearing him to go for it. Relieved, Riku took a swig of his beer, leaned back, and let the entire mess slip out.

It was with some satisfaction that Riku watched his friends’ eyes grow wide in shock, then fury, then grief. Although most of them were clumsy at best with emotions, Riku could feel the disappointment coming even from Cloud and Leon, who watched him with furrowed brows and pursed lips.

“That’s absolutely awful,” Tifa murmured, reaching out and grabbing his hands gently across the table. “I’m so, so sorry, Riku.”

Yuffie stood, almost sending her chair crashing into the next table. Her eyes glimmered in barely-contained anger. “Ooh, I’m gonna teach your folks a lesson! What the heck do they think you are, a doll? You can’t just marry someone ‘cause they told you to do it!”

Cloud sighed, pulling Yuffie back down to take a seat. “They can, and they will,” Cloud muttered quietly. “His dad is a Shinra exec. They don’t mess around on top of the Plate.”

Leon grunted in affirmation, taking a large swig of his beer.

Cid sighed, blowing smoke from his cigarette out in a steady stream, much to the chagrin of Aerith. “Look, kid,” he said gruffly, “at least you know you won’t be marrying that lil’ tyke. From the sounds of it, they ain’t too interested in tying the knot with you, either, so just keep playing up the pretenses and you’ll get the folks off your back eventually.”

“Is that what you do with Shera, just ‘pretend’ you’re not together-“

“You shut your mouth, you idiot,” the man grunted, tossing a few fries at Yuffie’s wicked grin.

Riku shrugged, pushing his hair back out of his face. “Either way, I’m not visiting them anymore, and they think I’m actually invested in that kid, so we’ve got the situation handled.” He put on his best smile, trying to assure his friends that it was alright.

It would have to be alright.

…he was still a little bitter that he hadn’t been able to visit his old home.

Oh well.

Thankfully, he was spared further scrutiny when the hostess of the trivia night stepped out from the back, holding up the tickets and golf pencils for each table to play. His friends were always ridiculously competitive, and soon, their attention was locked anywhere but his frustrating visit back to Midgar.

Unfortunately, they weren’t deemed the victors. Yuffie complained about the loss the whole way back to the tram station. “How the hell was I supposed to know how many stairs are at Sunset Hill in Twilight Town?!” she shrieked into the night air. “Isn’t that the point of the whole ‘Seven Mysteries of Twilight Town’ tourism shtick- that no one knows?”

“We did get prizes, though,” Aerith murmured, holding out her hand proudly. There was a little jade-coloured plastic ring on her hand, shining under the streetlights. “It’s so cute!”

“Participation trophies,” Cid spat, tossing his own ring to Yuffie to keep. “Don’t need it.” The hyperactive woman had made it her job to collect one of every type of ring, so her eyes lit up greedily at the sight.

Tifa giggled, turning to Cloud. “Look, I’m just proud that you remembered terminology for different types of lingerie. Anything to share?” she added with a wink.

Cloud’s entire face lit up, beet-red. “I can’t forget it,” he grumbled helplessly. “You scarred me back then and you know it.”

Tifa’s laughter turned into cackles while everyone else laughed on. No one would forget the time in university where she had dressed him up as a woman to go on a double-date with someone.

Riku laughed along, too, his fingers playing with his own participation prize. It was a little paopu fruit ring- while he didn’t know too much about the history of the fruit, Aerith had explained it significance with delight as they had left the bar. “You share a paopu with the person you love, and you will share the rest of your lives together, too,” she had said dreamily. He had rolled his eyes, tucking the ring into his pocket, where it would likely stay until he washed that jacket.

His home was here, with these people. They were mid-twenty- to mid-thirty-somethings that were all a bit too tired and too jaded, but they were able to laugh about life and stupid toys and silly memories anyways. That was all he needed.

So, life carried on. He went back to work, continued earning contracts and building up a good name for himself, and kept watching his friends gossip about television and movies and video games he’d never see nor play on their group chat. He worked out and read novels whenever he had the chance, and texted Sora whenever the younger wanted to vent about life. Even when his mother began to call him again, all she ever did was extol Sora’s virtues (according to his parents) to Riku in a desperate attempt to make him agree to the wedding. Thankfully, that was easy enough to shut down the moment he mentioned he was still in contact with the younger.

Everything was working out alright.

And then, two months after his short-lived trip back to Midgar, he received two very strange messages.

The first was an email from his father. It was written in memorandum format, the coldness of it all putting Riku on edge. Sephiroth Crescent did not contact him.

Still, the meaning of the overly-polite message was short and sweet. Get married to a woman soon, or we’ll force your hand.

Riku didn’t want to know what that would look like. He just wanted to be left alone.

The second message was a late-night request from Sora. It was a frantic series of texts, jumbled and worried- but at the end of it all, Sora pinpointed the Central Plaza of Radiant Garden, the biggest park in the city. He needed to chat with Riku immediately.

Is… is he okay? Worry and fear rose up in Riku’s throat like bile, his heart thudding in his chest. Sora was a sweet human. Riku couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to not be out to anyone- being misgendered every day must’ve been painful. If Riku could give him some support, he’d do whatever it took. So, Riku tugged on his jacket, grabbed his keys, and headed out of his apartment towards Central Plaza.

Despite it being a fairly clear spring evening, the park itself was totally empty, save for one pacing figure practically wearing a hole into the cobblestones. Riku hurried over to Sora, calling, “Hey! Sorry I’m late, it took a while for the tram-“

“Riku!” Sora shrieked, voice high and warbling. Before Riku could prepare himself, a shorter body came crashing into him, latching on in the tightest hug Riku had ever experienced.

The silver-haired man coughed, patting Sora’s back quickly while his ribs groaned in pain. “Okay, Sora, let go- what happened?” he wheezed, slowly peeling the younger off of him.

Sora pouted, not making eye contact. “Sorry, Riku- I just…”

Riku didn’t cut in, wanting to give him time to respond. However, Sora just seemed lost for words, switching between pulling out his phone and reading something, to awkwardly running his fingers through his long brunet waves.

Finally, it was clear that he wasn’t going to share without a little bit of prodding. “So. Why’d you call me out here today?” Riku took a seat on a nearby bench, rubbing his hands together in the unusually chilly evening.

Unlike his usual exuberant behaviour, Sora’s smile was strained as he took a seat beside Riku. “I… um…” The younger hung his head quickly, the words spilling out before he could stop them. “My parents are telling me to meet up with another guy.”

That shocked Riku. He had gotten so used to hearing his own mother coo about Sora and their inevitable match that he had totally forgotten that Sora’s parents were players in the game, too. They wanted Sora to find a man soon- for what sensible reason, Riku would never know.

Quietly, Riku joked, “You know, you say that like meeting someone new is the worst thing in the world. Was I really that bad?”

He chuckled as Sora threw a weak punch against his shoulder, the other clearly not intended to harm. Still, Sora’s gaze was melancholy as he said, “You’re cool, Riku. And I’m happy- really, really happy that we’re friends.” He looked into Riku’s eyes, heart full of love and compassion and gratitude on his sleeve. “You know that, right?”

Riku rolled his eyes and scoffed, but inside, his heart was melting. The kid was so sweet- he didn’t deserve this kind of worry. “Maybe you’ll meet someone cool, though. Not as good as me, mind you- but I’m sure we can find you second-best.” Riku paused, brain leaping through scenarios. “Wait- unless you’re actually interested in women? ‘Cause then I cannot help you.”

Sora sighed, slumping back against the bench. “It’s not that,” he muttered, full lips in a pout. “I’m interested in men. It’s just…” Riku’s heart broke as he saw the light fade a little in Sora’s eyes, a look of pain and bitterness filling that normally vibrant expression. “The chances of finding a guy who’s cool with the fact that I’m trans but also would still interested in me even if I transition in the future is…”

I hadn’t even thought of that. With Sora’s controlling parents, what were the chances he’d find a guy who was alright with his identity? Would Sora end up playing the role of the ideal daughter forever, even with ‘her’ husband?

“Ugh, this is the worst!” The younger slid down the bench further, throwing his arms across his face as if to shield himself from the state of their world.

Almost automatically, Riku reached over and patted his hair knowingly. “We’ll figure it out.”

As Sora began spewing solution after solution to their problems into the void of night, the hazy frustration in Riku’s mind began to clear, and in its place sat an answer. At first, he couldn’t believe what the thought was- in his surprise, he simply said it aloud, giving it shape in the brisk night air.

“Fuck it. Why don’t… why don’t we get married?”

Sora’s tirade stopped in its tracks, and the younger turned to face Riku with abject horror and shock in his face. “What are you talking about, Riku?” he cried, cringing and sliding a little bit farther down the bench from Riku. “We’re not getting married- nuh-uh. No way. Not happening.”

Riku immediately sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while he formulated his thoughts. “Look,” he muttered at last, exasperated. “They’re telling me to marry a woman. They refuse to acknowledge I’m gay. They’re telling you to marry a man. They don’t even know you’re trans, and you’re not coming out to them anytime soon-“

“Nope,” Sora affirmed, an intrigued light in his eyes.

“So,” Riku explained slowly, “at least if we get married, then we can get them off our backs. I live in Radiant Garden full time, so you won’t have to talk to them very often in person even after you graduate. I have enough space for a roommate, as long as you help me take care of the place- and you’re closer to school.”

Sora’s expression was pinched, the younger clearly lost in thought as he weighed the options carefully, twirling one long strand of hair idly around his fingers.

“And then,” Riku added finally, “if you or I meet someone who we actually love and want to be with, we can divorce, or have an open relationship, or whatever. The parents don’t have to know, we’re free to live our lives, and we don’t have to be the prodigal children any longer.”

“And then they’ll leave us alone,” Sora breathed.

“And then they’ll leave us alone.” Hopefully.

“It’s…” Sora’s face untwisted slowly, light entering his eyes so brilliantly that Riku almost needed to look away from sparkling blue. “It’s so silly, it might work.”

Riku’s heart thudded in his chest. Sora’s long hair fluttered around his face in the wind, framing his round features so sweetly that Riku almost laughed. What kind of soft creature was he swearing his life to?

But if he married Sora, he wouldn’t ever have to hear about marriage from his parents ever again. Riku had never spent too much time thinking of having children, and if he did, he had always pictured himself adopting once he was older- with Sora, he could likely do that. And, at the end of the day, he considered Sora to be his friend. At the very least, he wouldn’t be chained to someone he hated.

So, he made up his mind.

Reaching into his coat pockets, his fingers met with the little object that had been in there since the trivia night weeks earlier. He had never bothered to take it out, since he rarely had to leave the house- but now, it was perfect.

Dropping onto one knee, he pulled out the little paopu fruit ring, the yellow washed out underneath the fluorescent streetlights. “Sora, will you marry me?”

After a moment of just staring at Riku with his mouth agape, letting the moment sink in, Sora finally seemed to come to life once more. With a flash of teeth and a mocking curtsy, Sora held out his left hand. “Heck yeah I will,” he replied impishly.

So, Riku slid the little plastic ring on Sora’s ring finger. Surprisingly, it fit, and the younger quickly raised his hand up to examine the ring closely. His eyebrows shot up to his forehead, and he narrowed his eyes accusingly. “Okay, if this really was a ‘whim’, then how did you manage to have the perfect kind of ring, huh mister?” Sora asked, suspicious.

Riku raised his hands in defense. “Look, man. I won it in a game, and my friend said it brought out my eyes.”

Sora snorted immediately, all doubts gone. “She nailed it.” Fluttering his lashes, he added, “I think it’s better on me, though.”

Riku’s smile grew and grew until he could bite it back no longer. This felt natural. This felt right. And, best of all, he could already imagine the sheer relief from having his parents finally leave him alone. There were worse things than promising to spend the rest of one’s life with a friend, right?

Chapter Text

The University of Radiant Garden is well-known for its picturesque, beautiful grounds, its incredibly-prolific business college, its highly competitive chemistry department, and its closeness to the scenic city it borders. These things mean little to Riku as he steps forward in line, clutching the straps of his backpack tight against his chest, waiting for the clerk at the front desk to greet him.

Finally, it is his turn. He does not get a second glance from the receptionist, who merely demands his name and ID, quickly filling in the paperwork necessary to give him his keys. When he receives them upon a lanyard, a clunky metal key for his bedroom and a small key for his mailbox alongside a sleek card to get into dormitory buildings, he wants to weep. He is here. He has made it.

Maybe now, he will be free.

He thanks the woman and shuffles through the crowd of frenzied parents and students, all coming to this housing complex for the start of the new school year. It is only new students who live in this place; the faces surrounding him are a mixture of vibrant and enthusiastic, and weary and nervous, a few teary eyes glittering through the fray. These are his peers, and most of them will be starting a new stage of life away from their families today. That is why parents linger upon every corner, hugging suitcases close to themselves and trying to maintain their cool while their children retrieve keys and take their first steps towards independence.

Riku has no one with him aside from a taxi driver. His multiple suitcases are in the back of the large van, and the driver waits patiently by the roadside, snuffing out his cigarette onto the pavement before unloading Riku’s bags at last upon Riku’s return. There are a few advisors, older students with smiles too manic to be natural, who help him brings those bags up to his room after he has paid the driver. Once they help him get into the dormitory and guide him to his room, he just has to drown out the sound of loving parents scolding their children as the hall fills up one by one.

He wonders for the briefest moment whether he should have asked the driver to come up here with him. He may have felt less alone, even for just a second.

He will not have a roommate. He will share a bathroom with his neighbour, however. For a moment, he wonders whether he should have taken up Cloud and Leon’s offer to live with them; they would have been happy to add a third roommate to their contract, but Riku didn’t want to intrude. They also have lived in secret for far too long. He does not want to spoil their first chances at building a life of peace together by injecting his presence, as welcome as it may be in their friendship which has grown steadfast over the past half a year.

So, he steps into the unit. It is a small, spacious room, with a long bed pressed up against one wall and a sturdy desk pressed against the other. He instantly wonders how he can rearrange this space to truly become his over the school year, and begins pulling all of his bags into the room neatly.

A crash from the bathroom catches his attention, so he drops his backpack onto the mattress and flings open the door.

Inside, perched upon a stool with colourful paints spilling all across the sink and countertop in front of her, is a short young woman with large, almond-shaped brown eyes, watching him with mischievous glee. Her green tank top has been stained by the spill, but she looks completely unaffected. “Heya. Are you my bathroom buddy?” she asks brightly.

He looks past her to the other door in the bathroom, which hangs wide open, giving him a clear view into her bedroom. It is messy and vibrant, clothes and books and wires spilling everywhere. Mutely, he brings his gaze back to her and nods.

“Well, I’m Yuffie!” she announces with a cheerful grin, short, silky hair bobbing around her round face with every word.

“Riku.”

“Riku? Tell me something about yourself!”

He only blinks for a moment, simply wondering whether he should even address the rapidly-drying paint upon the counters. “Um…”

“C’mon, something fun! Something that you haven’t told anyone before. Ooh, share with me your secrets!” She wiggles her eyebrows mischievously. “We’re gonna know too much about each other, so we better get friendly now!”

He does not know why he says it. Perhaps he just wants a chance. Perhaps he just wants to test the waters, to see if Leon and Cloud were right- if he will actually be free here in Radiant Garden.

“…I’m gay.”

She rolls her eyes. “Hi gay, I’m dad.” Stomping her foot on the stool, she pouts, adding, “You’ve gotta give me something better than that! What’s your favourite dinosaur?”

And Riku smiles wide, because he has found his first friend in university, and she seems like an absolute airhead- and he knows that she is going to be held close to his heart for a long, long time.

xXx

Riku knew his family too well, and as it turned out, he knew how Sora’s family would operate, too. With his little toy ring upon Sora’s finger, he grabbed the younger man’s hand and brought him back to his apartment. There was no time to waste if they were going to get this done as efficiently, and as painlessly, as possible; however, there was going to be a lot of work to do pre-emptively if they wanted this wedding to be over and done with.

Thankfully, Sora was always game for a little challenge.

They got to work with no time to waste. Riku’s work was in a lull, so he could dedicate his efforts to this scheme of theirs. Sora’s exams were finished and his final papers were only due within the next week, so he was not concerned. Riku gave Sora a tour of his home without hesitation, opened up his guest bedroom, and pulled out his lease contract, writing a quick message to his landlord to let him know that he was thinking of getting a roommate.

Sora was more than happy with his prospective home, relishing in the wide bed in the guest room, although he bemoaned the lack of décor. “Do you mind if I spruce it up when I move in?” he asked, all innocent excitement and doleful curiosity.

Riku stared at him for a long, hard moment. Finally, he sighed. “Don’t drill holes into the walls, use only wallpaper-safe tack to put up posters, I should always be able to walk, and you’re not allowed to leave any body pillows anywhere but your bedroom.”

Sora’s face lit up. “I don’t have any body pillows, but I want them! C’mon, Riku, who’s your favourite character?” The younger elbowed Riku lightly in the stomach, jabbing his sides. “We can get our favourite boys. Tell me!”

Riku rolled his eyes and walked out, continuing his tour and trying to bite back his amused smiles at the brunet’s eagerness.

After that, the duo sat down and began their research. Riku was well-off on his own, and Sora too had his own little nest egg of savings, but neither wanted to waste time nor money on a wedding that wasn’t happening for love. So, they quickly organized what they would need to do legally, sorting out bills and making lists of things Sora would need to change; knowing their parents, Sora would be forced to change his last name and become a Crescent.

Riku’s heart ached when he realized that fact. Sora was giving up his name for a man he didn’t even love. It didn’t feel fair. Sora wasn’t upset, though. “Dude, ‘Sora Crescent’ sounds kinda cool, doesn’t it?” he squealed, brown hair flying around his face excitedly as he jumped on the soft couch, all enthusiasm and energy. “I’m down!”

The elder laughed. “Alright, alright, Sora. Come on, sit. We have to figure out the paperwork.”

“And the story!” Sora chirped. “Don’t forget- we’ve got to convince our folks.”

Riku shook his head. “Your folks. Mine will just be happy to know I’m ‘not being a disgrace’ anymore.”

Sora frowned, brows furrowing. Before Riku could stop him, he walked around the table and wrapped his arms around Riku’s neck, giving him a warm, comforting embrace from behind. “I’m sorry, Riku,” he breathed, breath tickling Riku’s ear. “You’re not a disgrace. You’re amazing.”

Riku could hear the telltale choking of Sora’s throat, and he was right- shifting in his seat, he quietly pulled Sora into his arms, comforting the younger as Sora began to shudder and cry, whispering his words of relief and of thanks as reality finally sank into him.

Riku was going to give him a chance at freedom. It was not something which Sora took for granted, and Riku would not let him down.

Over the next week, whenever Sora wasn’t working on his schoolwork, the two of them zipped around town and collected what they needed. They figured out exactly what the paperwork would be, the cost of a wedding; they managed to find a sweet, simple wedding dress in the back of a decrepit thrift store that Sora was confident his mother would approve of, as long as they dry-cleaned it to hell and back. Riku even researched venues in Midgar which would be fitting, so that they wouldn’t have to worry about hosting their family in Radiant Garden.

Sora jokingly protested when he said that. “A wedding in Radiant Garden would be so much prettier, though!” he teased, leaning back from his computer as he sat on the floor of Riku’s apartment, frantically typing away at a research essay.

With a wan smile, Riku said, “But that would mean bringing our family- bringing Midgar- here.”

Silently, the smile slipped away from Sora’s face, replaced with discomfort and unease. The wedding would be in Midgar.

Eventually, the terms and conditions they would present to their parents was set. If they were forced to have a ceremony rather than just signing the paperwork, then the wedding would be a small affair, limited to family and close friends. None of Riku’s nor Sora’s friends would be invited for fear of letting their sexualities or Sora’s gender identity slip. There would be no long reception, no pomp and circumstance; just a ceremony officiated by someone the parents approved of, and then Riku could take his new ‘bride’ home and begin his new life with a rambunctious, platonic roommate.

Once Sora’s final paper was submitted for the term and the young man was asleep on Riku’s couch from the sheer exhaustion, Riku set the plan in motion. For the first time in years, Riku called his mother first, rather than the other way around. “What is it, Riku? Unusual of you to call.”

Riku clicked the ‘send’ button on his computer, casting off his message to both his parents and Sora’s parents at last. “I sent you an email just now letting you know, but I thought you should like to hear it from me. I proposed to Sora and h- and Sora said yes.”

The ear-splitting shriek of joy that erupted from the other end was so loud that Sora awoke, jolting up with a clumsy yelp of surprise. Riku winced, holding the phone away from his ear until the noise died down, tussling Sora’s hair and waiting for the woman to speak on the other end.

She didn’t. For almost a minute, Riku waited for his mother to speak, but not a word was uttered from her end. “Are you still there?” he asked at last, confused.

A soft, keening sob doused him like cold water. His mother was crying in joy.

His heart clenched, and he grit his teeth, a grimace forming upon his lips. He loved Sora like a friend, and nothing more. If he had been bringing someone he truly loved as his partner to his family, what would his mother’s reaction be? Would she be just as ecstatic? Would she ever show this much warmth, this much love and joy and relief?

He knew the answer.

In the email, he laid out their terms cleanly, along with options for venues and available bookings. They were going to get this done as soon as possible. His father responded by the end of the day with his choice of the lot, and so, by nightfall, their wedding day was booked; it was uncomfortably close, with his father using his influence to pull strings and arrange for a venue within the month. In every word of his father’s reply, Riku could feel the tension, the annoyance; it was clear that his father would have preferred to have a large, ostentatious event to prove to the world that his son was not, in fact, gay.

Still, his father didn’t object to Riku’s terms, despite the fact that Sora’s parents were less than pleased, since Sora’s brother wasn’t going to be able to make it. Riku’s father smoothly consoled them, though, just as eager to get this over with as Riku himself. Thanks to this wedding, the Crescent name could remain ‘untarnished’.

Riku could only laugh at the situation in which they found themselves. Who was being played as the bigger fool here; his father, for thinking that Riku’s partner was truly a woman? Or Riku, for having succumbed to his family’s conservatism and bigotry in even the smallest of ways?

At least Sora was happy. That, in itself, was enough.

With a date in mind, there was really only one thing left to do; tell his friends.

Sora was not with him when he let the news slip at last. At first, he regretted it- he had a feeling that Sora would get along perfectly with his motley crew of misfits and weary adults- but the moment that everyone took in the information and Aerith dropped her fork on the table in shock, the entire group began screaming and hollering so loudly it was a blessing they weren’t ejected from the pub right then and there.

“But- but why?” Yuffie cried, frantically looking at everyone else’s faces for agreement, for solidarity. “Riku, you can’t just get married to shut them up, it’s not worth it-“

“Yuffie,” he soothed, reaching out and grabbing her hand which was gripping onto her napkin so tightly she was tearing it, “it’s fine. Paperwork can always be undone. Divorce exists, and for now, this is the best way to let us have some breathing room.” He had already explained the situation with Sora’s blessing, after all.

“You’re not actually in love, are you?” Tifa asked, her doubt clear as day. “So, what’ll happen if you meet someone else?”

Riku shrugged, a wry smile on his face. “I mean, if that happens, then we’ll get divorced. Or maybe I’ll just be the most honest adulterer and get Sora to bless my unfaithfulness. It doesn’t really matter- he’s okay with it.”

Cid could only cackle and gawp at the entire situation. “You’re all a bunch of crazy jackasses,” he howled, taking a pause only to slam back another pint of lager. “I cannot believe you’ve got the guts to do this.”

Leon grinned, patting Riku on the shoulder. “Tell us how the wedding goes.”

“Why, so you can steal my flower arrangements?”

Cloud snorted, although his ears were tinged pink. “As if- Aerith’s going to make any wedding we have beautiful.”

Aerith clasped her hands delightedly, giggling at the mere thought. “Oh, we would clean out my whole garden to decorate your wedding!” she laughed. Turning to Riku, though, her eyes softened. “You’ve got a dress sorted?”

“Is Sora even going to wear a dress? Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable?” Yuffie insisted.

Riku’s smile twitched sadly. “…Yeah. But this isn’t for us, sadly, so he’s looking at it like a costume party more than anything.”

The others traded concerned glances, unsure of what to say. It was Aerith who finally broke the silence, though, the woman standing up and walking around the table to hug Riku gently. “Let me know how we can help, Riku,” she cooed. “We’ll do whatever we can.”

The earnestness in her voice almost made him weep. Sensing his vulnerability, his hidden, quiet anxiety about the entire affair, his friends silently stood to hold him and shake his hand and pat him on the shoulders, whispering quiet words of support and affection and acceptance, because the unspoken understanding that none of them could go with him was clear. He would have to face this trial alone, and that fact stung more than anything.

They were still willing to help, though.

An engagement ring and two wedding rings were borrowed from Aerith, as the woman’s foster mother had a huge collection of simple, elegant heirloom rings; Riku promised to return them the moment their purpose was complete. Aerith insisted on letting him keep them, but Riku’s intuition was right on the money when he murmured, “I don’t think Sora really wants to wear something so… delicate.”

Aerith’s face melted into understanding. “You’d better get him something cool and ‘manly’ the moment you get back to the Garden,” she teased.

“Of course,” he whispered, giving her a hug, basking in the sense of playful peace that she always brought.

Cloud and Leon jokingly held a bachelor party for him, which amounted to buying too much pizza one night and watching television with him till dawn when Sora was staying in his dormitory, still amidst the woes of packing his belongings since he would soon be moving into Riku’s apartment.

Yuffie was the most torn that she couldn’t join him, coming over the night before his departure for the sole purpose of proving that her tiny form could fit into his suitcases. “I should be your best woman!” she screeched, angrily pacing behind Riku as he packed his bag. “You can’t go face them alone!”

“I’ll have Sora with me,” he said, not paying her any mind as he ensured that all pieces of his rental tuxedo were in the garment bag. “You don’t have to worry.”

But his best friend from first year refused to let that go, large eyes filling with frustrated, bitter tears. “I want to be there for you, Riku,” she squeaked, biting her lip to hold back her anger.

He sighed, pulling out a tissue and holding it to her nose. Obediently, she took it and blew into the tissue with a loud, undignified honk. Chuckling, he handed her another tissue to dry her eyes. “Yuffie, if I ever do get married for real, you’ll be there,” he promised. “You know that.”

She pouted. “…fine.” And he smiled, for he knew she would hold him to those words no matter what.

The paperwork was signed well before boarding the plane back to Midgar, as Sora needed his new IDs to arrive. When they finally came in the mail, alongside all of the paperwork officially registering them as a married couple, it was finally time for the wedding; to Riku’s relief, their mothers had finally acquiesced to their demands of having a small wedding, and had taken charge of planning the whole thing for them to their specifications. “It’s still going to be over the top, huh?” Sora muttered weakly when the day of their trip finally arrived. To accommodate for the trip, Riku had taken a week off from work, while Sora still had two weeks before his summer semester began; the two of them had packed up what they needed to last them a few days in the cold, unfeeling metropolis and headed out with dread in their hearts.

“It will. It’ll be fine,” Riku said in the taxi, but his jaw was clenched tight, his palms clammy. “It just won’t be held in a back alley or something.”

“Your dad isn’t going to say a word to you, huh?”

“Not without a camera in front of us, he won’t.”

“…I feel like I’m lying to my parents,” Sora whispered.

Riku stroked brown strands gently, pushing them up out of blue eyes. “I’d rather you lie to them than lie to yourself,” he said. “The moment we’re back, let’s wreck all your dresses.”

Sora’s amused smile was enough to ease the tension.

It was a little uncomfortable, going to the airport and announcing that they were going to Midgar for their wedding; even worse was how Riku clumsily held Sora’s hand, the young man’s long hair and delicate features giving him the perfect appearance of a nervous young woman with her partner as Riku announced, “I’m boarding with my… my wife.”

Still, the flight went off without a hitch, and the simple hotel they had booked provided them with two beds, just like they asked for. The night before the wedding, Riku and Sora stayed up late watching movies until they passed out, only waking up the next day to frantic calls from Sora’s mother, insisting that he needed to get his hair and makeup done. Riku grabbed one of his hands before he left, squeezing gently. “I’ll see you at the altar, Sora,” he promised.

Sora’s anxiety eased a little bit, bright blue eyes softening. “See ya soon, Riku.”

And with that, Sora left the hotel with his wedding dress, freshly cleaned and tailored to fit his slight form, in a garment bag, leaving Riku a few hours to get dressed in his tuxedo and arrive at the venue.

Maybe I should’ve taken Leon and Cloud’s offer to come as my best men, he thought idly, lying back upon his bed. His friends had wanted to come with him- all he had to do was say the word- but Riku had rejected it. If my family had realized that they were in a relationship, this whole thing could’ve gone south.

It was just for an afternoon. Just one afternoon, and everything would be over, and Riku would never get another passive-aggressive phone call of thinly-veiled insults ever again.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Just as predicted, his father did not even acknowledge him, leaving the task of ferrying Riku around to the wedding planner his mother had hired. Riku didn’t mind, for he was practically catatonic for most of it, eyes glazed over and only moving when he was told to. Weddings were always too ostentatious of an affair for him, so to have his own all decorated with lacy filigree and soft lighting and elegance and opulence spilling from every detail despite the relatively-small scale for a upper-class ceremony in Midgar made him a little sick.

At least Sora looked beautiful in that white dress, walking down the aisle. Riku could see it objectively; he physically was a lovely woman. There was no joy in that thought, however, as he could see the sheer discomfort buried underneath the layers of makeup upon his face, his long hair curled and tumbling over one delicate shoulder. He’s so strong, Riku thought distantly as Sora’s father finally allowed Riku to take Sora’s hand at the aisle, where the officiator could finally put the whole affair to rest. He’s holding up so well.

“I, Riku Crescent, take thee to be my wedded… wife,” Riku breathed when the time for vows finally arrived, “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” He couldn’t even hear Sora’s vows in return, his ears ringing too loudly in the sheer chaos of his mind. This was happening. This beautiful creature before him was becoming his lawfully-wedded partner, and there was nothing he could really do about the fact that there was no love to be found; that their vows were naught but a farce.

That daze was finally broken at the end of the ceremony, after giving Sora a gentle kiss to please the small, scrutinizing audience, giving them fodder to realize that no, Riku was indeed settling down with a woman, and that the rumours surrounding his sexuality could finally fade away. It was no words of another who caused him to come out of his stupor, however; as the photographer sat them down on the elegant lounge just outside of the hall where the short reception dinner would take place, Sora did a very clumsy shuffle in his seat, clearly uncomfortable in the constricting, but elegant dress of lace and jewels and chiffon. They snapped photographs with their parents and with the guests, playing the part of the beautiful new couple with little complaint.

“Smile,” the photographer urged as Riku and Sora’s parents finally allowed them to take a photograph on their own.

Riku leaned over to Sora and whispered, “Why didn’t you bring basketball shorts for under the dress? Would that have been better?”

The undignified snort and following fit of laughter from the duo produced better photos than any other taken that day, and finally, they looked like a true couple. The approval from onlookers was clear as Sora’s laughter spilled for joyously from his lips as he snickered and whispered back too quietly for the guests to hear, “Should’ve ditched the heels for some sneakers, too.”

And as Riku caught his mother and father’s approving faces, Riku felt himself freed of the labels and the judgement he had felt for the past eight years. He was free.

Chapter Text

The outskirts of Midgar are a horrifying, formidable sight. After years of deforestation and mining and stripping every natural resource without a care in the world from the land’s rich bounties, the world surrounding Midgar appears to be little more than a horrifying, dusty desert. The rivers which had once been swift and powerful have long since run dry, the animals killed off by nature or by man, the earth beneath their feet sucked dry of moisture and life. All that remains are stumps of trees which had wilted away long ago and a few shrubs struggling to stay alive in this unsettlingly-bleak clime.

Why they had decided to come here of all places is beyond him, but Riku bites his tongue. He shall not complain; not when he can see the smiles on his best friends’ faces illuminating an already-darkening sky, the empty vastness stretching before them looming too large for him to even comprehend. He has heard of this place again and again over the past year, but this is the first time he has ever stepped foot upon this arid soil himself. It had only been due to Cloud’s begging that he had agreed at last to come along and see just what the blond had been going on about throughout their entire first year at Radiant Garden.

At least, he thinks wearily to himself, it’s an excuse to escape the house. His parents have said little to him since his return. He does not know whether to be grateful or bitter about that fact; the only reason he is here is that a fire had destroyed the apartment building he had been slated to move into for the summer, so without a room available on campus, he had had little choice but to come back to the city he had thought he had left behind.

A quick glance over to his friends eases his concerns, however. Cloud and Leon sit on the back of their rented pickup truck with all the ease in the world, their eyes glimmering joyfully. Their words are always quiet, calm; it’s almost startling to realize that they’ve been together for so long that they could technically become common-law, had their families allowed it. His heart twinges at the thought, eyes tracing his friends’ silhouettes against the night sky, each movement stabbing him through the heart as he smiles, both in adoration and in irritation, in loneliness, in frustration.

Cloud’s eyes, so blue and clear, drink in the night sky littered with stars so bright he can scarcely believe they exist so close to Midgar. Leon’s eyes, so dark and hooded amidst the shadow of night, look at nothing but Cloud.

Riku doubts he shall ever have anything to look at with as much passion- or anyone. He doubts he’ll find anyone who’ll look at him like that. He can dream all he likes, but he had met what feels like millions of people during the past year, and no one who had caught Riku’s eye had ever looked twice at him.

It was fine, though. His smile turns downwards, lip trembling as he tears his gaze away from his friends, the duo so wrapped up in each other’s quiet companionship that they have long forgotten his presence. Riku is used to being alone.

Before he can drown himself in these thoughts any further, however, a small impact nearly knocks him clean over, the familiar weight of Yuffie’s tiny body leaning fully into his back snapping him out of his own head. Giggling, his pseudo-roommate whispers loudly, “Look at the two lovebirds, eeew. Do you think they’re going to make out?”

Laughing despite his frustration just moments ago, Riku says loftily, “As long as they keep it in their pants long enough to return the truck without making a mess, I don’t care.”

He feels Yuffie’s chest rumble with laughter, so light and airy that it warms his heart. “You’re saying that as if these two weirdos wouldn’t just fuck in the middle of the desert. That would be romantic, huh?”

Deadpan, Riku says, “The dust. Yuffie, think of the dust.”

“But romance-“

“Dust would stick everywhere, Yuffie. Gross.”

Blowing a raspberry at him, Yuffie quickly settles down on the rock he has chosen as his stargazing perch right by his side, leaning into his shoulder. She kicks her feet childishly, her tiny frame far too small for someone two months older than Riku himself. Her arm loops around his, drawing him close, pointing up at the sky in the opposite direction of their friends still seated comfortably in the truck’s flatbed. “You’ll find someone, Riku.”

He sighs, then flashes her a wide, rueful smile. “I know.”

“I mean it, you know.”

He rolls his eyes and flicks her forehead, laughing freely as she yelps and pouts, the starlight somehow enough to illuminate her adorable face so perfectly. That face is the perfect comfort to him, he finds; sighing, he slings his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll find someone, I promise,” he says softly. “Just to shut you up.”

His best friend crosses her arms over her chest and harrumphs, but there is no anger in her voice when she replies- just earnest, dear longing. “I want you to, Riku. You deserve it.”

“…don’t ask Tifa to introduce me to anyone again, though-“

“Okay, look, his name is Johnny and apparently he’s really nice-“

“No, Yuffie.”

“C’mon, meanie! Pull that stick outta your ass and let’s get you a boy-“

“No means no, c’mon!”

Although he continues to reject her offer, Riku’s heart settles down as this exchange continues. It is silly- it is ridiculous- it is earnest. Yuffie loves him, and wants him to be happy. Through her and Cloud and Leon, his new friends from this past year- Tifa, Aerith, Cid, Zack- are all rooting for him. He isn’t alone anymore.

The stars are beautiful, even though the earth is barren, he thinks to himself. That beauty- this kindness- is more than enough to keep his smile true for the rest of the night, even as he bids goodbye to Leon and Cloud. There is no bitterness there. They want him to be happy, and he wishes nothing but the best for them, too, and the fact that he has found people who will hold his hand like them- like Yuffie and all the others- is more than he could have ever imagined for himself.

He is happy. For now, that is enough.

xXx

It was strange to see just how quickly life could pick up back where it had left it after what was supposed to be a monumental change in their lives; and yet, whenever Riku paused to reflect upon just how much his entire world had changed, he couldn’t actually find any real differences in it. Remembering to wear a ring on his finger was a hassle, but just as all other things in life, it became habit. Living with Sora had already become second nature after having spent so much time together planning their haphazard wedding, and since the younger man’s energy was so similar to Yuffie’s in reality, Riku merely found himself reminiscing more and more of younger, simpler days in university.

It didn’t take long to settle into a rhythm, however. Soon enough, everything was exactly as it had once been. Sora still scolded him constantly for working too much, a fact which Riku could neither deny nor ameliorate, considering how he was extremely close to getting a raise. “If I get this project done,” he repeated again and again whenever Sora deigned it was time to nag at him, “then we’ll be better off.”

“You don’t need to take care of me-“

“But I want to, so let me be.”

Sora always flushed and pouted and crossed his arms at that, muttering bitterly about ‘not being a kid’ and ‘not needing anyone’. Yet, Riku continued to work hard anyways; if anything, he knew it would help the other man more than anything if Riku was doing very well. After all, if their parents ever found out about Sora’s true nature, it would be up to Riku to protect him. Riku wouldn’t let Sora down.

On his own terms, Riku continued to chide Sora on his amazing focus on anything and everything excepting his studies, the younger’s midterms constantly seeming like a surprise for which Sora had to spend three days and three sleepless nights cramming in desperation. “If you didn’t game so much during the rest of the quarter, it wouldn’t be that bad,” he told Sora for the nth time.

The response was the same every single time. He didn’t know why he even bothered. With blue eyes flashing angrily, the younger merely cried, “But I have to log in every day to get bonuses, and we have to do daily raids! What’ll Kairi and Rox do without me if I don’t do it? They need their tank!”

Rolling his eyes, Riku carried on with his work. He didn’t know why he bothered, in all honesty.

Yet, despite these opposing viewpoints, their routines only became more and more solidified as time when on. He could not pinpoint exactly when, but soon enough, whenever he came home to a darkened apartment, his heart ached in loneliness. Seeing the lights on, the world warm and glowing, the scent of dinner wafting through the entrance hall to his nose, all had become habit to him. Not seeing Sora somewhere in the kitchen or living room upon returning home just didn’t feel natural, a fact which the younger found absolutely hilarious. Riku didn’t mind the teasing he received over that fact, though; he knew that Sora felt the same whenever Riku grew too busy with work.

They were a part of each other’s lives now, inextricably intertwined. And, despite the situation that had led them there, Riku didn’t mind that fact in the slightest.

The thing that truly cemented Sora’s place in his daily life, the one thing that truly made it feel like their marriage had been real and not just a strange dream he had had after a long day at the office, was seeing his friends react to the younger. The plan had always been to introduce Sora to them eventually, so when a prime opportunity came around after Sora’s finals had come to a close, Riku didn’t hesitate. “They already know about you, remember?” he pointed out when Sora began to worry. “They just want to give you a proper welcome, since they couldn’t come to the wedding.”

Sighing, Sora crossed his arms and pouted, brunette locks falling into his eyes. “I know,” he groaned, pushing his hair up and out of his face. “I just don’t want to disappoint them- what if they think I’m like, a bad person or something?”

There was something strangely manic in Sora’s eyes, something which drew Riku to sit down, properly facing the other at last. “What are you scared of, Sora?” the elder asked, voice low and confused.

After a moment, Sora finally deflated, his exhaustion creeping into his high voice. “I… you’re a really good guy, Riku. And I feel like I’m basically using you as my beard-“

“We’re helping each other,” Riku corrected automatically.

“-and I don’t want them to hate me. I don’t want them to think that I’m just using you- I like being here.”

For a moment, Riku was speechless. Then, he smiled, chuckling to himself as he shook his head and patted the younger on the shoulder. “Trust me, Sora. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“But-“

“The fact that you’re worried about me is evidence enough, don’t you think?”

Sora’s pout betrayed his distrust, but at the end of the day, it was unwarranted. Riku took Sora out to meet his friends that evening despite his concerns, his friends already having ensured an extra glass be added to their usual order before their arrival. Aerith and Tifa immediately adored the younger, announcing just how lucky Riku was to have found someone so sweet; one quick conversation with Cloud and Leon made the two men accept Sora into their group without hesitation, the two stoic figures simply saying, “He’s a good kid,” when Riku attempted to interrogate them on what they had talked about during the one moment Riku had left to take a call.

And, just as suspected, Yuffie and Sora got along perfectly. Even the way they annoyed Cid, sharing giggles between the two of them, was uncannily similar. By the end of the night, all Riku could do was groan and cry out, “Well, I’m sorry you chose to marry me instead of her, but the bus is coming in two minutes and we have to go!”

His protests weren’t very effective, unfortunately. The next morning, he awoke to both a hungover Yuffie (having slept on the couch after refusing to part from her newfound friend) and a hungover Sora, the two of them griping in unison about Riku’s apparent liver of steel as the man stepped out of his bedroom fairly unscathed. It wasn’t what he had expected to see after his introduction between the man that had changed the course of his life and the friends that had made his life bearable, but it was a welcome surprise- after the whining had died down, of course.

There was only one thing left to do before they could truly establish a new sense of what ‘normal’ really meant in their wedded lives. Riku was more than happy to host Sora’s friends in their apartment, after all. The young man hadn’t had anyone over since moving in, likely to respect Riku’s privacy. For that, Riku was grateful, but he didn’t need that care; so, before the younger could try to change his mind, Riku helped him plan a night to invite his own group to their little apartment.

It had been a long time since he had hosted, but in all honesty, Riku didn’t mind it when the day finally came. Xion and Kairi were cousins that got on painfully-well with Sora and his twin brother, Roxas; Tidus and Wakka, two student athletes who were far friendlier than the rest of the athletic scholarship crowd Riku had met during his time at URG, brought with them an amount of beer that only college students could think was sane. Roxas’ friends came too, a little trio of arts students with more fire in their eyes than Riku knew what to do with.

They all seemed like good people, Riku thought. They were genuinely kind and friendly and welcoming to Sora, stepping into their apartment with nothing but smiles on their faces reserved for the younger, brighter figure of the two. And yet, as each one of them made their way over to Riku, he couldn’t help but shudder, seeing a flash of distrust- and sometimes even disgust- flit across their faces. Their handshakes and hugs were firm and icy, their smiles wide and welcoming, their eyes anything but.

Sora didn’t seem to realize the atmosphere building in the room. As the pizza delivery arrived, their guards seemed to lower for a moment, Roxas even joining Riku to help him distribute plates.  

“Sora’s doing good here,” Roxas observed as they picked up stacks of paper plates and napkins.

Riku nodded, tensing up underneath a cold glare that was far too much like Sora’s to be comfortable. “H-“

Suddenly, a cold sweat broke out across his brow as Tidus popped his head in. “Need any help?” the blond asked, directing his eyes towards Roxas and Roxas alone.

“Nah, we’re good,” Roxas said airily. Tidus nodded, stepping out of the kitchen once more, leaving Roxas and Riku alone. The former paused, raising a brow as he glanced over at Riku. “You were saying?”

Tightly, Riku responed, “Sora seems to be doing fine. If there’s ever anything wrong, I’m- I’m happy to listen and help fix things.”

Nodding slightly, Roxas murmured, “Sounds good. Wish you’d waited for me to be free for the wedding, though- kinda sucks having missed it. Me and Naminé were really upset.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Before Roxas could interrogate him any further, however, Riku grabbed the plates, stepped back out into the living room, and found Sora seated on the couch between Kairi and Wakka. Without a word, he tapped Sora’s shoulder and pointed towards his bedroom, begging for the younger to comply. Normally, Sora would have likely teased him for his sudden state, but seeing his urgency, Sora’s words died in his mouth, the younger nodding and following Riku without a word.

The moment they were alone, all Riku could splutter out was, “Hey, Sora? What the hell do I call you?”

Sora froze, absolutely baffled by this sudden question. “Um… Sora?”

“I’m serious.”

“Um, a house-spouse.”

“No, I mean-“

Gasping theatrically, the younger cried, “Not a leech on your life!”

Rolling his eyes, Riku sat on his bed with a heavy sigh. “Your pronouns, you moron,” he growled. “Who here knows? Do I have to use ‘she’? I can’t believe I forgot to ask- I’m so sorry, I don’t know if I’ve messed up already, it just never crossed my mind-“

Strangely enough, despite his rambling, Sora’s face never morphed into a similar level of anxiety. Instead, he merely began to smile, his ponytail bobbing as he crossed his arms across his chest and nodded in pleased approval.

Riku blinked at him, confused. “What?”

Sora’s grin was wicked. “Come with me,” he said, lunging forward, grabbing Riku’s arm, and dragging him out of the bedroom.

As it turned out, Riku’s sudden panic was completely unwarranted. The majority of Sora’s friends already knew about his situation- and those that hadn’t known about his identity had apparently all been told the truth after the wedding, Riku found out- so when Sora suddenly began explaining why his new husband had been extremely uncomfortable the entire night, the entire group warmed up to him in a heartbeat. Kairi was suddenly by his side without restraint, a familiarity and gratitude in her violet eyes that he had never expected to see; Roxas clapped him on the shoulder and announced proudly that he was happy to have another brother, the mirth in his smile too much for Riku to even comprehend. The others wasted no time in exchanging numbers with Riku and trying to figure out how to incorporate his work schedules with their class schedules, insisting that he join them for their various gatherings. The sudden enthusiasm for him was enough to make his head spin, but by the end of the night, Riku knew that Sora, too, was in good hands. He was loved. He wasn’t alone, either.

For that, Riku was grateful. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Sora.

Chapter Text

The fear had, once upon a time, not been as strong as the strength he had felt whenever he had looked at his father. He remembers seeing his father’s silhouette with pride, with amazement; the man’s figure has always been the most striking thing he has ever seen, the sharpness of his long, imposing figure only highlighted by the spectacular length of silvery hair flowing down his back. Wherever he had gone, be it the tall, imposing central Shinra Electric Power company tower, or even their own simple, elegant foyer, his father’s hair had shimmered and his emerald eyes had been sharp, greeting the world with a business-like smile and an intensity that no one could ever match. Whenever Sephiroth entered a room, people stopped to take notice, to allow their eyes to wander over broad shoulders and the crisp, powerful line of his tall silhouette, the incredible length of his silvery-white hair trailing brilliantly behind him, capturing and refracting enough light to rival the moon.

The fear is now all Riku can think of when he envisions his father. What matters more to him in this moment, however, is his own reflection. Riku stares numbly at the image in the mirror, the sight of a bruised, swollen lip and a darkening, halfway-healed black eye turned yellow and green thanks to time greeting him without restraint. The wounds do not bother him- he had met his fair share of opposition over his last few months in Midgar, thanks to the rumours around his sexuality- but the rest of this reflection does.

His hair is long, too. It is silvery-white, shimmering straight strands rippling with every movement. Even though it is sweat-soaked and greasy, the length of it flowing past his shoulders, falling over his forehead and into intense blue-green eyes that shine with intelligence and wit and fury beyond measure. He straightens his shoulders for a moment only to immediately hunch over again, every similarity between his own outline and his father’s driving wedges of discontent and shame into the cracks in his already-crumbling heart.

All he had wanted to do was go on a date. To be normal. To be loved.

…he hadn’t known his father would be coming to Radiant Garden for a business trip this week.

His split lip aches, but he cannot bring himself to examine it closer. The loathing he feels towards himself and the man who had made him lingers too strongly for him to dare moving closer to the mirror, close enough to see just how similar their jawlines are, their noses identical, the pallor of their skin still too close for comfort despite all the days Riku has spent in the sun training for blitzball. He cannot bear to look at the creature his father has shamefully made and caught and cast aside.

Then, it comes to him. His eyes widen. His smile grows.

The actions are swift. The scissors are definitely not meant to be cutting hair- he’s pretty sure he’s used these to cut meat during that Wutain barbecue his friends had held three weeks earlier- but he does not care, bringing the blades up to his locks without hesitation. He snips here and there, completely haphazard with every stroke until he no longer reflexively looks away from the mirror, until he can bear to look at himself once more.

When his heartbeat has finally calmed, he finds his cellphone. It is buried under a mound of silver-white locks scattered messily around him. Brushing it off, he calls Tifa immediately, scratching his nape irritated by his sudden haircut as he asks, “Hey, are you any good at cutting hair? Or… I guess, salvaging what’s left?”

When she and Aerith arrive at his front door, they scream and scold him for the carnage done to his beautiful hair and his innocent face. He merely smiles and allows himself to be coddled however they want; and, by the time they are done fixing his haircut, he almost feels like he is free from the man who his reflection could not escape. It is wonderful.

xXx

“My family will never let me do it.”

Riku glanced over, raising a thin brow as he took in the sight before him. Sora was straddling a dining chair, staring glumly at himself in a small mirror hung on the wall, his fingers twirling some of his smooth chestnut hair with the angst of a hormonal teenager. His lips were formed into a pout, the frizziness of his locks growing ever-more prominent as he continued to play with different sections of his hair, building up volume in the most unflattering way possible. “I mean, you could,” he replied dryly. “They don’t exactly see you every day.”

Glancing over his shoulder venomously, Sora grumbled, “Easy for you to say! Riku, you could look good bald, and no one would bat an eye if you did it!”

Riku spluttered on his coffee, hunched over for a few moments before managing to clear his throat. “Please don’t imagine me bald,” he croaked. “We put a bald cap on Cloud once- I’d look about the same. It would be really bad.”

Rolling his eyes, Sora moaned, “But if I get it cut, people will talk, and if my parents find out-“

He stood from his seat on the couch without even thinking about it, setting aside his laptop in order to approach the younger. This wasn’t the first time they had tread through this conversation; with the coming of summer, Sora had been sinking into these moods far too frequently to dismiss outright. Riku was already accustomed to it all, albeit a little tired of the cyclical conversations. Walking up behind the younger, he placed his hands onto the seated man’s thin shoulders. “What do you think they’re going to say, Sora?

“That I’m a disgrace,” came the immediately reply. “They don’t know, and even if they did, they wouldn’t get it. I don’t want to have to explain myself, but I also don’t want them to be sad.”

“They won’t be sad-“

“My mom loves my hair, Riku!” Sora cried, leaning back to rest his head against Riku’s stomach. Staring woefully up at him, he added with rapidly reddening eyes, “I just- I want to get rid of it, but I don’t want to make her sad, y’know?”

Riku’s smile was crooked, pained. “I know.” And he meant it. He knew exactly what Sora was talking about.

It wasn’t just the hair that he would be losing if he were to cut it off, after all. It had become who he was- little Sora, their pretty little daughter with big curls and waves and enough light to illuminate any room she entered.

It wasn’t Sora, though.

Sighing heavily, he raised his eyes, looking into the mirror hanging upon the wall. From here, he could see Sora’s chin jutting out in the reflection. The ungainly sight brought a smile to his face, much to Sora’s immediate chagrin. The younger smacked him on the thigh then grumbled, “You don’t, though.”

His heart seized. They had been here time and time again over the past few weeks; each time, Sora looked more and more frustrated, more and more defeated. While he had settled into their life together easily enough, how could they make sure that this self-doubt ended once and for all?

The sadness which tinged his next words made his throat seize, but he forced them out anyways. “I know, Sora. Not exactly, but I do get it.”

Large, brilliant blue eyes searched his. Then, Sora shifted in his seat, wrapping his arms around Riku’s waist softly. “Yeah. I know.” The defeat in his soft, lilting voice was almost gutting, but the earnestness was there. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not mad.”

With his eyes focused on the mirror, Riku gently extricated himself from Sora’s grasp. Then, with all the care in the world, he ran his fingers through frizzy waves, gathering up the younger’s hair and pulling it all back tight. “Do you want it all off?”

For a moment, Sora examined his reflection. Then, grabbing his slightly-jutting ears, he pulled a silly face, sticking out his tongue. With a silly grin, he shook his head. “Nah, dude. I look like a little monkey.”

“Bold of you to think you look like a person normally-“

“Wow, okay, thanks!” the younger protested, but his laughter rang clear and bright through their apartment, easing some of the heavy tension hanging in the air.

Still, after having heard this same conversation so many times over, Riku could not help but allow the thought to simmer in his mind. How in the world could he convince Sora to finally take the step he had been longing to take for so long?

After one particularly long day at the office, these thoughts became wandering back to the forefront of his mind as he sat in their usual spot with Tifa and Yuffie. The two women were exchanging gossip about their respective workplaces, but nothing could keep Riku’s mind focused on the task at hand, his own fingers finding purchase in the strands which settled against the nape of his neck. He hadn’t worn his hair long like his father since his falling out with the man, and while the feeling of freedom was indeed liberating, he knew the fear associated with losing that connection more than most.

It was Yuffie who finally snapped him out of it. “Talk to us, Riku,” she said firmly. “You’ve been quieter than Leon today! What’s up?”

For a moment, Riku merely stared back at her, startled out of his thoughts. Then, with a rueful, crooked smile, he began to speak. The explanation was succinct; there was no need to share Sora’s strife in vivid detail, after all. “Sora wants to cut his hair, but doesn’t want his parents to catch on to what’s going on.”

Tifa’s brows furrowed together, warm reddish eyes softening. She smiled and offered, “That’s… not an easy step for most people to cut all their hair off, so for him…”

“Yeah.” He leaned back in their booth, letting his head hang against the worn leather backrest. “I… yeah, sorry. It’s just been on my mind. I’ve been trying to convince him to go for it, but… I’m not very convincing, I guess.”

Yuffie’s fingers immediately found purchase in his hair, smoothing out strands sent everywhere after a long day at work. “I mean, didn’t you get into a huge fight when you cut yours?” she asked softly, her usual bubbliness lowered to a kind simmer. “I’d find it hard to be convincing, too.”

Tifa raised a hand as if to swear an oath. “I take responsibility for most of that yelling, honestly. Aerith said we were cutting too much…”

The shorter girl rolled her eyes and pouted. “I’m still angry that I wasn’t there to witness it! I’ve never seen pretty boy Riku, it’s not fair!”

Snorting, Riku ruffled the other girl’s short, silky black bob, much to her chagrin. “You’ve seen my dad. Basically that but less jaded.”

Leaning on her propped-up hand, Tifa sighed, “It’s silly, though. Talk about being hypocritical- your dad’s hair is just cumbersome, honestly.”

Despite his discomfort with his memories, Riku couldn’t help but chuckle at this, feeling warmth spread through his chest. “It is, huh? I guess Sora feels the same.”

Yuffie’s eyes suddenly lit up, the girl bolting upright in her seat. “Hey, wait a second! Why don’t we just do this?” she asked, clapping her hands excitedly together. “I have an idea…”

The sinking feeling in Riku’s gut that immediately emerged from his old roommate’s glimmering dark eyes was justified, in all honesty. Leave it to Yuffie to come up with an entire plan, only to force all the legwork onto him; he didn’t mind, however, taking her suggestions with a grain of salt as he researched everything he’d need on his phone while he commuted home that evening.

Almost like clockwork, Riku found the younger staring forlornly at his reflection rather than focusing on the assignment sitting upon the glowing laptop screen in front of him. Quietly, the elder pulled out what he had found during his trip home and held it in front of Sora’s nose, chuckling when the younger went cross-eyed momentarily to focus in on it. “Riku, what the heck?”

“It’s for a good cause. They can’t say anything about it if you donate it here- and if they do, I’ll just say that you did it to make me happy. I am your husband right now.”

“…do you actually prefer short hair?”

Riku paused, fingers absently reaching up to brush back his own cropped locks. “…yeah.”

Sora did not say a word, merely turning in his seat to wrap his arms around Riku’s waist and bury his face in Riku’s chest as the younger was wont to do whenever he was overcome; Riku didn’t pull away either, the easy familiarity of the younger’s smaller frame fitting into his own arms soothing after all of the little intimacies he had grown accustomed to over the past few months. Finally, in a warbling tone, Sora mumbled, “Come with me?”

“Sure, Sora.”

“Thanks, Riku.”

“Anytime.”

And that was that. The following weekend, Riku sat in the waiting room of a nearby salon well-known for working with a company that made free wigs for those in need; his idle scrolling on his phone was interrupted every few minutes by a selfie sent by Sora, the younger losing his mind in a mix of fear and glee and sadness as his hair was methodically washed and treated and, finally, chopped off completely, leaving only a few inches in the wake of long, flowing curls.

When all was said and done, Riku could only smile. Sora bounced on his toes in front of the register when he reunited with Riku, his brilliant blue eyes begging for praise as he looked up at the elder. “So? Did it work? Does it suit me?”

Wryly, Riku ran his hand through the freshly-styled, short-cropped hair on Sora’s head. It did indeed suit him, lifting up and brightening his face, giving him a boyish charm compared to his previous style. “You look good, you know.”

Sora’s voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned over, watching the hairdresser punch in numbers into the till. “Does… does it make me look manly?”

Biting back his immediate instinct to say that Sora looked cute no matter what rather than ‘manly’- if that adjective had to be given to anyone, he couldn’t help but affix it onto someone more like Cid, rather than this dainty figure before him- Riku nodded, humming in approval. “And if anyone has an issue, I’ve got you.”

Sora’s eyes shimmered in joy. There was something wonderful in that smile, even more so now that Riku could properly see it behind all of those long curls. Sora was finally visible, here.

This sentiment was taken to heart, it seemed. From then on, Sora started to open up in a way he hadn’t ever done so before; although he had always been comfortable with Riku, the air of easy familiarity began to spread to others, too. It was contagious, wonderfully so- filling the air with a kind of cheer and warmth that lit up their apartment from the moment Sora came home. Even as the summer came to an end and classes started back up for the younger, that happiness didn’t seem to fade from his eyes, making him bolder and more outgoing that even Riku thought the younger could be. And, as these autumn days began to welcome winter’s chill, and the younger became richly acquainted with Riku’s favourite barber to maintain that short cut, Riku knew that he had made the right choice all those months earlier.

The decision to attend his friends’ usual Christmas party was an easy one, especially with how effortlessly Sora and his circle had slotted into Riku’s own group of friends. “You’re doing well by him,” Aerith murmured, sipping her cider slowly.

Riku shrugged, glancing over to Sora. The younger was seated with Yuffie in front of the Christmas tree set up in Leon and Cloud’s apartment courtesy of Tifa’s insistence on decoration for the holidays; the rambunctious duo was cheering as they played video games against Sora’s twin Roxas and his partner, Naminé. “Having him around has been pretty nice,” Riku said simply. “I forgot how fun it can be to have a roommate.”

A weight by his side caught his attention. Cloud perched upon the armchair by Riku’s side, handing the man another uncapped beer. “Don’t call him your ‘roommate’, Riku. That sounds cold.”

The reply was exasperated. “There’s nothing wrong with saying the truth.” Wryly, he added, “Or maybe I should just say ‘partner’. He certainly thinks our money’s all the same. Do you have any idea how much he wanted to spend to decorate our apartment?”

Snorting, the blond ruffled Riku’s hair, clinking his own bottle against that of a passing Leon. “You’re welcome for offering to host it instead.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Riku replied with a smile, his eyes dropping onto Sora’s form. The younger was bouncing in his seat excitedly as he beat his twin in another match, high-fiving Yuffie and sticking his tongue out childishly at his twin. His hair, short and styled in soft, messy points, shone in the twinkling lights cast off by the Christmas tree. Riku’s oversized Christmas sweater fit almost comically large on his smaller frame, but he looked undeniably like the young man he was.

Riku glanced to the side. They had placed everyone’s belongings and gifts in piles upon the folding table at the side of the room. Atop Sora’s pile was Riku’s card, containing a gift card to the men’s boutique the younger had been eyeing every time the duo had gone downtown for months.

Aerith finally caught his attention again with a weary sigh. “You say that, but you’d spend whatever he wanted. Look at how sweet he is!”

Riku didn’t reply, merely taking a swig of his beer. When they came home that evening, however, Riku spent far more time than he would ever admit looking at the gift Sora had given him: a photo album filled with pictures taken by the younger since they had met, with hundreds of empty slots waiting for more. His fingers traced over their faces in the photos, his heart clenching as he saw the gradual change in Sora’s smile, his eyes, his heart.

Sora looked happy with Riku. It was more than Riku could have ever expected, to be able to say that he was happy with Sora, too- but he was. Every photograph was tangible proof that he himself was content with his life beside this bubbly young man, and for that, Riku was more grateful than anything.

Chapter Text

That first kiss is absolutely wonderful.

He does not feel much for the recipient, in all honesty; in this addled daze of alcohol and smoke, dim lights flashing and music pulsing through the venue, all he can hear is the sound of the music matching in tempo with his racing heartbeat pounding in his ears, the sight of crimson strands falling into brilliant green eyes melting into the strobes which disorient him. The only thing keeping him on his feet are the large hands gripping his waist, bony and powerful, his own arms settling around wide hips and shoulders, fingers intertwining with greasy red hair. This kiss gives oxygen, smoke and colour and poison filling his lungs as he takes in whatever he can get from this figure that is so opposed to anything feminine, the desire and want oozing from every pore only increased by the aggression with which a tongue invades his lips, fingers kneading and pulling. He feels himself growing lightheaded, swept away by the sensation of another so clearly undoing him in the middle of this dance floor, no one but the heavens here to judge him.

He does not want this person. He barely knows this person. But he wants what this person has, just as this person wants him; so, he allows this lanky redhead to pull away when there is nothing left in their lungs, a large, rough hand wrapping around his wrist and dragging him off to the side, wide grin wicked and words just as slurred as Riku’s own feeble attempts of communication.

They do little more then hold each other. When Cloud finds him, he is straddled by long limbs, being devoured by pale skin and flushed lips, his own hands exploring territory far too private for the side of a seedy club. He does not complain, merely kissing the stranger one last time, enjoying the sound of a husky, drawling voice in his ear murmuring a name in the sort of way that, when he remembers it come painfully-sober morning, makes him laugh and laugh until he nearly vomits from the motion.

He doesn’t mind that kiss, though. It had to happen at some point, and Riku is nothing if not willing to explore what the relative obscurity in Radiant Garden has permitted him. If he had been in Midgar, he would never have been approached like this; it feels good to have gone out with his friends and to have caught someone’s eye. It feels good to have been able to do that, no strings attached.

It feels good to be wanted. He had always assumed that he would end up alone; somewhere along the way, it seems like that had mutated into something far more sinister. This one strange night, accompanied by red hair and lanky limbs and brilliant eyes, is enough to remind him that maybe- just maybe- that assumption is not true.

And that’s a start.

xXx

“This… sounds like an objectively fine thing, Riku.”

“No, it’s not like it’s bad,” Riku protested for a moment.

“Yer just unused to someone else not being scared off by yer resting bitch face, kid,” Cid cackled, pointing a fry at him. “Don’t act like you don’t just sit there like a whipped lil’ dog and listen to whatever that partner of yours has to say-“

“What’s wrong with listening to him vent? I listen to all of your bullshit,” Riku insisted.

Laughing heartily, Tifa said, “Yeah, but you look so happy to do it with him, Riku. And he’s happy to listen to you too, because you actually talk to him, unlike everyone else in the world aside from us-“

“There’s nothing going on- I just- it’s weird, okay?” Seeing the incredulous looks around him, however, Riku knew he was fighting a losing battle; although his friends were always patient with him beyond measure, when it came to things like this, they would never listen to what he had to say. Why would they, after all, when even he could not pinpoint what exactly was bothering him about this current situation? What could ever be wrong about his friend-turned roommate-turned husband spending more and more time with him as of late?

Sighing, he buried his face in his arms. Yuffie’s hand patting his shoulder performatively did nothing to ease his irritation, though. All he could do was reflect on the strangeness of the entire situation, desperately trying to figure out just why he felt it was so jarring.

It hadn’t been a quick transition, he realized. After their Christmas party, he had accompanied Sora to that boutique, helping the other pick out a whole plethora of masculine clothes for himself. It had honestly been fun, the younger insisting on spending some of the (frankly, absurdly high) gift card on buying Riku something, too; they had spent the entire day in the mall, building a wardrobe for Sora that would better suit his short-cropped hair, his newfound confidence. Then, once enough pieces had been bought, Sora had taken his hand, dragged him back to their apartment, and forced him to help sort out all of the more feminine clothes he had been forced to wear for too long.

“We can’t burn them,” Riku had insisted when Sora had asked, so they had instead decided on donating everything to a local charity, leaving Sora with a plethora of options that finally, truly suited the younger.

It was endearing at first, Sora’s clear excitement and contentment with this new life. What was much less appreciated had been all of the initial backlash from Sora and Riku’s family; some photographs of them posted by their friends during casual get-togethers had circulated back to their families, triggering naught but indignation and rage from each parent alike. Riku had spent weeks fighting passive-aggressive fires and shooting down thinly-veiled insults, all of which had initially left Sora in frustrated, broken tears in the face of all of this rejection.

“What’s wrong with resembling Rox?” he had wept against Riku’s shoulder after the first day of angry messages. “What’s wrong with it? It’s not like I’ve changed. I’m still their kid.”

Riku hadn’t had any good reply to that. Even after all those weeks, he still didn’t have a good answer. Parents could be cruel, especially to their children. He knew that better than anyone.

Although Sora had immediately wanted to hide, Riku hadn’t given in. “Sora is my partner,” he had continued to reply, “and I’m happy with Sora wearing anything. If Sora wants it, I’ll buy it. I don’t care.”

In the face of his stoic stubbornness, all their parents could do was eventually let their complaints drift off into the background, instead leaping onto the bandwagon of demanding for grandchildren. Those were words which were far easier to fend off; Riku would much rather reply with half-hearted comments about how they weren’t ready yet, rather than having to defend Sora’s character for the way he dressed, and Riku’s own character for the way he allowed his ‘wife’ to present ‘herself’.

Once this vitriol had died down, however, everything had changed. Or, had it? Riku could no longer tell, his memories too jumbled thanks to the two pints of beer already circulating in his system that night. Sora had always been physically close and affectionate to Riku, but since when had he become so aware of just how often Sora had come to join him? How easily Sora always sat right next to him on the couch, leaning on his shoulder whenever they were watching something? How comfortable Sora always was to walk up behind Riku, wrapping his arms around Riku’s waist before carrying on a conversation as if they were perfectly normal roommates, completely unaware of Riku’s intent focus on the heat the younger always emanating sinking into Riku’s back.

It was strange, just how close Sora always came. It was even stranger to see just how aware of it all Riku was becoming. All he had signed up for at the end of the day was a cool roommate with whom he could bond, maybe share a meal with every once in a while. One who would have his back, who he would look out for, too. This hadn’t been in the original plan.

To top it all off, Roxas had decided to be the best twin possible and come to Sora’s aid, too; the moment Sora had told him about what was happening, he had insisted on dragging Sora and Riku to Twilight Town, the home of some of Roxas’ friends. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” he had insisted proudly. “You’ve already met a lot of the gang- they’re here for school mostly, but they’d be down to join us. Nam’s coming, too, so we can all take photos wearing every outfit Mom and Dad hate. It’ll be great!”

And so, their trip to Twilight Town came into fruition. Sora’s spirits had improved by miles once they had arrived, the slightly warmer weather eliciting the younger to put on baggy, comfortably, boyish clothing that suited him far more than any dress ever had.

At least the trip had fully quelled any of their parents’ outward jabs at Sora’s change in appearance. Roxas and Naminé had insisted on holding video calls with their parents, meaning Riku and Sora had been forced to join in, too; with his twin policing the conversation, however, it became clear that no one would tolerate any comments on Sora’s newfound style.

Leon nudging his arm with his own glass caught his attention, pulling Riku out of his swirling thoughts. “Just being close doesn’t mean anything,” he said dryly. “Aren’t you just overthinking it?”

“That’s kind of all Riku ever does,” Cloud commented, eliciting a hearty guffaw from Cid across the table.

Sighing, Riku sat upright, checking his phone. Sora had sent him a selfie a few minutes earlier; opening it up, he smiled on instinct as he saw the younger’s beaming face with Kairi and Tidus in the background, the caption reading, “We’re getting ice cream! Want anything?”

Once his request for a pint of sea salt ice cream was sent, Riku turned his attention back to his friends. He froze immediately as he saw the wry, knowing smiles shared by each of them. “Who you textin’, Riku? Your wonderful husband?”

Groaning, the man waved off his best friend’s words. “Shut up.”

Cloud reached over and passed Riku the plate of fries they had been sharing. While Riku began to eat, he asked, “Seriously though, it sounds like you’re just comfortable with each other. Nothing weird, right? You’ve known each other for, what, ten months now? It makes sense that you’re closer than before.”

“Yeah,” Aerith giggled brightly, handing Tifa a napkin as the other woman spilled a bit of her drink, “it’s not like you’re sleeping together or anything.”

Riku sighed, grimacing as he felt his ears heat up; just as quickly, he ducked his head, praying his longer hair could hide it. Unfortunately, Yuffie caught sight of it, her eyes widening in amazement and giddy glee. “No way. No way, Riku, are you-“

“He passes out on my mattress sometimes, apparently it’s more comfortable, and no, we don’t have sex. I sleep on the couch when he does. Happy?”

“And you’re saying you never say ‘fuck it’ and sleep with him?”

The burning in his ears intensified. Sighing, he muttered, “Shut up.”

The chorus of hooting and hollering and slapping Riku on the back did little to ease his anxieties; instead, he merely retreated further, his mind latching back onto the tangled mess in his head. They were right, after all. Sora crashing in his room had been more and more frequent as of late, always accompanied by some inane excuse like, “There’s a spider in my room!” or “Your mattress is so much better, and your sheets always smell so nice!” before the younger buried himself in Riku’s bed. Some days, Riku merely sighed and joined him, too lazy to go sleep on the couch or in Sora’s room; it was purely a convenience thing, wasn’t it?

And yet, the more he thought about it, he couldn’t deny that there was something inexplicably soothing about waking up to thin arms wrapped around his waist, soft brown hair pressing up under his chin whenever he awoke from these nights. The smell of Sora’s shampoo was so soothing, the younger fitting perfectly into his arms.

They weren’t normal roommates.

Finally, the jabs from his friends grew to a peak once Yuffie announced with a triumphant grin her stance on the whole situation. “Don’t worry, y’all, he’s going to fall in love with little Sora soon enough!”

“Yuffie,” Riku groaned, “what the hell are you talking about-“

Anything he could have said instantly died the moment he saw the photograph on her phone screen, proudly on display for the entire group to see. It was utterly juvenile, the absolutely manic mirth in her eyes as she showed it to everyone before finally bringing it to Riku. In response, all Riku could do was wave at the waitress, put his money on the table for his portion of the bill, then march on out, the sounds of his friends’ loving teasing haunting every footstep.

The photograph had, no doubt, been taken by Kairi. It had been at her birthday a few weeks earlier; Riku felt his cheeks heating up at the mere memory of it, the mere incredulity which had struck him at his very core when it had happened. He hadn’t expected it, after all. How could he have seen it coming?

It wasn’t like roommates were always licking cake off of each other’s faces; and yet, that was exactly what Sora had done after blotting Riku’s cheek with cream from the cake. It was such a small thing, a teasing action, but the image was still burned into his mind- and, apparently, Yuffie and Kairi and whoever else’s phones- forever.

Sora never kissed him. He had never done so. It wasn’t what they did- they were just friends, roommates, partners to protect one another. On the bus ride home, Riku buried his face in his hands, trying to banish the idle thought which grew stronger and stronger with every heartbeat. He wasn’t successful, though- and when he came through the front door of their apartment and hung up his jacket only to be greeted by Sora in his pyjamas and a pint of sea salt ice cream and a giant smile, Riku knew with a sinking gut that he wouldn’t exactly mind it if Sora decided to.

Chapter Text

Midgar does not get cold weather. It feels like it rarely gets any kind of ‘weather’ at all, in all honesty; the skies tend to be clear, but thanks to the destruction of the environment surrounding the giant behemoth of a city, the natural meteorological cycles have been thrown out of sync for so long that there is little but hot, arid sun or mild layers of clouds most days atop the plate. There are always a few rainstorms, for sure, but the heat generated by the power plants prevents anything from ever truly resembling anything more than sticky, chilling rain.

So, when Riku opens his eyes this early Saturday morning and sees snow for the first time outside of his window, it truly is a stunning sight. As he peers outside into the quad, his heart skips a beat as he sees a thick blanket of white powder covering the green grass, blocking it completely from view; the sun glitters off the shimmering surface, the light reflecting like a thousand jewels sparkling, natural, fleeting gemstones there for the taking. His heart swells in his chest as he lifts his gaze upwards, fingers tightening upon his windowsill as he looks up at the thick, puffy layer of grey-white clouds still hovering above, crystalline flakes floating gently to the earth on this windless morn.

Then, he screeches as nothing but pure ice and cold and wet is dumped unceremoniously down the back of his t-shirt.

Yuffie is, unfortunately, the faster runner; by the time he catches her, she has already summoned their friends to witness his drenched humiliation as he pants, back still soaked whilst he climbs halfway up the stairs to the raised dining hall. The girl cackles as she sees his pure indignation, then finally meets him halfway, accepting his angry ruffling of her hair as she wraps her arms around him and squeezes. “You should’ve seen your face, Riku!” she squeaks.

He grimaces, then accepts her embrace. Before she can squirm out of it, he has scooped her up bodily and begins to carry her back down the stairs, heading towards the exit. He is not embarrassed by his state of dress- there are weirder things to spot in a university dorm hall commons than a man in his boxers and a dripping t-shirt carrying a hollering, laughing girl whom they all know is his friend- so he continues to walk onwards, even as she hits his back and starts threatening his laptop should he do what she thinks he shall.

He does not care. Kicking open the side door to the hall, Riku marches out in his slippers, ignoring the fact that he is going to track gravel all over his room if he forgets to clean them off when he goes back inside. Then, finding the thickest patch of snow he can, he lobs Yuffie unceremoniously into the snow, relishing in grim satisfaction with the sound of her angry screeches echoing through the quad. For a moment, her voice grows muffled as she veritably disappears in the snow drift, small frame completely hidden amidst the buildup; then, she emerges, eyes livid and frame ready to pounce.

He shrugs. “Sucks to be you, huh?” Then, he walks away. He does not react when Yuffie clambers out of the snow drift and jumps onto his back, clinging like a monkey. He does not react when she scolds him and complains about being cold, her body pressed against his for warmth. He does not react even when she lightly punches his shoulders and complains to everyone who will listen about just how cruel he was for tossing her into the snow like that. Instead, he merely readjusts her so he can carry her piggy-back more comfortably back to their connected units, eventually dumping her on the floor of her room without a word.

“I get to shower first. Enjoy being cold, you brat.”

She doesn’t catch a cold from it, so he walks away guilt-free. And, that evening, when Cloud and Leon are free after their part-time jobs and Tifa announces proudly that she took the day off from her bartending gig, Riku gets to build a snow fort for the first time in his life, and he decides quite firmly that he does indeed like the snow. The rain has never made him smile this much in Midgar, after all.

xXx

“It didn’t seem like it would get this bad in the morning,” Riku admitted, picking his coat up from the back of his chair.

Cid flashed him a wry grin, the older man jabbing a thumb towards the door. “Head home, Riku,” he scolded Riku with a smile. “Gotta make sure that little runt of yours makes it back home okay, right?”

Rolling his eyes, Riku did everything he could to pretend that he was affable, able to shrug off the teasing without hesitation; when Yuffie poked his reddened, burning cheeks, however, he knew he had no response, choosing to instead say his goodbyes as quickly as possible before heading out into the snow.

Radiant Garden was not exactly built for the snow, after all; the city thrived in the late spring and summertime, the beautiful gardens for which the entire town was named blossoming for nearly six months of the year. Brilliant displays brought tourists from around the world to the community centers and public parks, the suburban housing areas surrounded by green and colourful blooms. It had been built hundreds of years earlier, after all, and the city council had done a wonderful job maintaining the heritage parkways and floral centers to attract as many visitors during peak blooming seasons.

All of this meant that Radiant Garden was well and truly horrible at dealing with snowstorms.

Riku managed to make it to the bus stop with little bruising to his ego, only having slipped once. At least it was the end of the day on a Friday; his meetings had all gone well, leaving him with little to do over the weekend other than destress, considering he would now be in limbo between projects. There would be plenty of time to bundle up indoors and avoid this awful weather.

As the bus rolled into the stop, Riku managed to find a seat with relative ease. The trip home was slower than usual- due to the hills which were prevalent the moment one left the gardens and entered the commercial district, the ride back to his apartment was a frightening one, to say the least- but Riku did not mind, taking that quietude in a fairly empty Friday afternoon bus to merely sit back, eyes locked on the gently falling flakes outside of his window.

Does Sora like snow? He cannot help but assume that the other man does; everything excited Sora, after all, and Riku has no doubts that snow was no different. Seeing as to how well Yuffie and Sora got along, a part of Riku dreaded being attacked by ice the moment he stepped into his apartment.

Still, Riku’s thoughts would not leave the other. Dreamily, he found himself mentally taking stock of the other man’s wardrobe. Sora had been going to URG for a few years now, so the younger had to possess some winter clothes; whether or not the man had packed them away, thinking that there would be no more of winter’s kiss during this strangely-cold late March, was a different story. Sora’s classes finished by noon on Fridays, and the younger usually headed home or to Kairi’s place afterwards, so at the very least, Riku was not worried about the other commuting. I’ll text him, he thought to himself wryly. That second-hand place by the bus stop probably has whatever he needs if it’s an emergency.

By the time Riku arrived at his stop, however, he had still received no response. His heart, already hammering in his chest thanks to the skidding and sliding of the large, vacant bus, began to ache with an anxiety and a fervour that almost made him sick. Even during the ride home, the snow had begun to fall thicker, ice freezing onto the roads and leaving everything from small fender-benders on the street to full accidents in bigger intersections, the entire city in veritable panic thanks to being so ill-prepared for the storm. Stepping off of the bus was honestly less frightening than remaining on the road.

He gripped his phone tightly in his hands, waiting for it to vibrate; the response never came, though, and when he tried to resend the messages once more, they only sat there, limp, grey.

Failed to deliver.

Almost ready to vomit, Riku rushed back to the apartment as quickly as he could. For some reason, the buzzer refused to cooperate; his key to the fire escape did, however, and soon he was bolting up the stairs with a fear rising into his throat he had could scarcely name. What would he do if something had happened to Sora, if he had been hurt-

What would he do if Sora hadn’t even made it home?

The fire escape was oddly dark, lights flickering in an out as he climbed up two steps at a time. When he finally reached the top, he was panting and shivering and out of breath, too hot after the run and too cold with the icy chill overtaking the world; glancing out the hallway window as he struggled to isolate his house key, all he could see was a veritable ocean of white blocking out anything and everything, leaving him numb.

He took in a deep breath, then exhaled. His breath formed clouds of steam in the air. Is… is the heat out?

Turning the key, relief could have knocked him over from dizziness as he pushed open the door, seeing familiar sneakers in the foyer and a set of keys hanging by the door. Gathering himself, he stepped inside and called, “Sora? Sora, are you home?”

“Yeah, what’s up, Riku?” the younger called back, poking his head out from around the corner, a confused look on his face. “Oh, welcome home! You’re back super early, but I guess that makes sense, ‘cause look at how much snow is outside-“ Sora’s breath caught in his throat, the younger finally stepping out to reveal himself.

Riku gulped. The younger man had always been fairly unabashed about his appearance at home, but despite the clear chill in the apartment, Sora was standing at the end of the hall just a few metres away in just boxer shorts and a binder, his arms toned thanks to the workouts he had been doing with Riku’s help as of late. Although his shoulders were still fairly small, Sora stood with his chest puffed out proudly, stance wide, the feminine motion which used to filter through every motion having been stripped away, leaving behind nothing but Sora.

Riku sucked in a breath, taking it all in; his silhouette was framed by the light from the kitchen window streaming in, surrounding him in a halo of light and apparent warmth that stole away any words Riku could have said.

Instead, Riku almost wanted to cry. Sora was here. Everything was alright.

The younger could clearly sense Riku’s suffering, stepping up without hesitation. Before Riku could even react, strong, thin arms had wrapped around his shoulders, pulling Riku’s head into the crook of Sora’s neck. Firm hands stroked Riku’s snow and sweat-dampened hair, brushing snowflakes off his back before squeezing the man tight, murmuring, “Hey, ‘Ku. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

For a long time, Riku was motionless, absorbing it all slowly. There were too many things happening at once for him to speak:

First off, Sora was here. A part of Riku wanted to scream in embarrassment thanks to his earlier fears. How had his sudden concerns about Sora escalated into such pure panic in such a short amount of time? It was all well and good to worry about the younger being caught in the storm; it was something else to have felt like his heart was being torn out of his chest, worry blinding him to everything else.

Secondly, Sora’s embrace was strong. Without hesitation, without pause, without regret. The younger comforting Riku with an ease and confidence Riku could not recognize. Since when had Sora become so confident?

The last thing was simple, more obvious, more… physical. The heat from Sora’s skin, the scent of body wash and shampoo and sweat and skin, the sensation of his hands running along Riku’s hair, back, shoulders, face- all of it sank into Riku’s body, lighting a fire within him, heat threatening to scorch him from the inside out as he felt his head spin, arousal flooding through his veins only growing stronger with every word of concern whispered into Riku’s ear.

He couldn’t breathe. He wanted Sora.

Swallowing thickly, he pulled away, quickly pulling off his backpack, jacket and sweater as quickly as possible. “I’m- I’m fine, Sora,” he murmurs, flashing the other a small smile. “You?”

Shrugging happily, Sora replies, “I’m good! I think the power’s out, though, so that sucks. Hot water seems to be fine though, so go take a shower! You’re so cold.”

Riku did not argue. He needed to take care of himself, to get his head in order, as quickly as possible, after all.

Once Riku emerged from the shower (utterly dizzy and worn, sated and yet still wanting for more the moment he saw Sora’s brilliant smile shining up at him from the counter, shame instantly consuming him from head to toe as he tried in vain to forget just what he had thought of as he had brought himself to pieces just minutes before) he was greeted with a warm meal and a hug. The younger didn’t think twice before taking Riku’s hand, sitting him down and setting out soup and pasta for him to enjoy. “Thank god we have a gas stove,” he laughed as Riku stared at the steaming dishes. “Eat!”

So, Riku did, obediently eating his dinner as he listened to Sora explain how he had gotten home. After class, murmurs about the rapidly-approaching storm had grown more frantic, so Kairi had insisted on Sora coming straight home. “She told me to get some food ready for you, too, since you had meetings today,” he finished with a grand, good-natured smile. “It’s good, right? I’ve gotten better, right?”

In truth, Riku could hardly taste it, his mind in such an exhausted tizzy that all of his attention had been focused on nodding at the right points and ensuring that he didn’t spill anything. “Yeah,” he replied at last. “You have. I’m proud of you.”

The younger man beamed, standing up and pulling away Riku’s emptied dishes. “Well, I guess now it’s time to-“

Suddenly, Riku’s phone began to vibrate, Sora’s as well; they both pulled out their devices simultaneously, the sudden light stinging their eyes. “I guess signals are finally back!”

“Power isn’t though,” Sora murmured forlornly, shuffling over in his slippers to the front hall’s cabinet. After taking a moment to read his messages, his voice squeaked in joy. “Riku, they released an official statement! The storm’s supposed to last for like, a week, so no in-person classes will run!” Fist-pumping cheerily, Sora cried, “Heck yeah, vacation time!” Just as quickly, however, the young man deflated. “Ah, jeez. No power, though. I guess I won’t be beating the latest DLC boss.”

Riku snorted as he opened up his own email. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sora pulling out some candles which Riku didn’t recognize (judging by the floral scent, they were probably a gift from Aerith at some point or the other) and then setting them up as Riku checked his own messages.

His heart thudded in his chest, painful, sore after the last two hours of anxiety and frantic fear and sudden want. “I… yeah,” he finally said aloud. “Our project was a success-“

“Congrats!” Sora cheered, word muffled by the fact that he had his tongue halfway out of his mouth in concentration as he attempted to use a giant, unwieldy barbecue lighter to light the candles.

“-so since we don’t have anything right away, they’re just telling us to take the week off.”

Sora’s eyes practically lit up at this knowledge, brighter than the meager sparks he managed to create with the lighter. “That’s awesome! Riku, we can hang out all week then!”

He’s adorable. The words sprang to mind unbidden, aching and raw and far too meaningful for Riku to interrogate right then; so, Riku stood, walking over to Sora and taking the lighter from him. Illuminating the candle with ease, the elder sighed. “Let’s just try not to burn the place down, got it?”

Sora’s smile was wide and precocious and wonderful, and Riku could not help but smile back. They were going to be alright, Riku knew; they had more than enough food in the pantry to hold out, and as long as the gas and water weren’t cut, it wasn’t like they would be lacking anything, either. Their apartment faced the sun for much of the day, so candles wouldn’t run out. The only issue was the heat, but they could always bundle up more- or, in reality, Riku could bundle up more, because Sora’s body emanated heat constantly, the younger completely comfortable with pretending like they were dressing for the beach rather than a sudden snowstorm.

It was only come nightfall that Riku truly understood just what this sudden storm meant for him- for them. He had tucked himself in early, desperate to put his mind at rest after running himself ragged mentally all day. Five minutes after he had closed his eyes, however, a slight knock on the door followed the same pattern as it always did; a knock filtered into Riku’s ears, then a tentative, “Hey, Riku? You up?” followed. The hinges of the door squeaked as Sora slipped inside, the guilty smile on his face audible in his voice as he murmured, “I was wondering-“

This time, however, there was a slight change. Riku gasped and coughed as suddenly, the weight of what felt like a thousand blankets landed square upon his chest, his cool body instantly heating up to an uncomfortable degree as he cried, “Sora, what the hell-“

Sora didn’t say a word this time, though. Instead, the younger adjusted the blankets- only three, although Riku had to admit that he couldn’t actually recognize any of them- over Riku alone, before climbing over the man and slipping under the usual covers next to Riku. “Now we won’t be cold! ‘Night, Riku. Sleep well!”

Riku did, in fact, not sleep well that night. It was hard to sleep when lying next to a human heater; it was even harder to sleep when lying next to a figure of one’s desire. Who was also a human heater.

I’m not sleeping for the next week, am I?

When Sora smiled groggily at him the next morning, however, his eyes sparkling as he asked, “Hey, wanna check out how much snow fell? We could make a snowman!” Riku found that he didn’t quite mind it, though. That sleepy smile was the sweetest thing he’d ever seen- if he could have it be the first thing he saw consistently for a week, then he would be a happy, happy man.

Chapter Text

He does not think that his life has ever been happier. With the echoes of Yuffie’s laughter still ringing in the air, Tifa’s handiwork evident in the cleanliness of his kitchen and dining area, and all of his furniture built and ready-to-go thanks to the dexterity and tenacity of Cloud and Leon, Riku can only survey his apartment with pride and joy. He has been saving up for a place of his own off-campus for years now, and to think that his carefully-saved money finally had some use in furnishing the apartment of his dreams still feels unreal.

His fingertips run along the granite countertops, tapping along bottles already tucked into the wine rack; his fridge is filled with groceries and beer thanks to Cid, and the poor little succulent he has been attempting to raise since his second year at URG finally has companions in the form of flowers and a money tree given to him by Aerith. Although it still feels a little too sterile, too clean and untouched to be considered ‘home’ yet, he still knows that undeniably, this place is his.

Without his parents. Without the Crescent family name. He is just Riku, a recent grad who has lucked out in apartment- and job-hunting, who is ready to take on the world one day at a time in his own cozy little home.

The moment he turns off the lights, however, the world seems to shift. With the darkness that fills the place instantly comes a sense of coldness- a creeping chill which pervades the air, stinging his bare skin. The heat which had filled the air only moments before seems to dissipate, his heart growing fearful and frigid as he frantically leans over the back of his sofa in order to yank apart the curtains. Moonlight filters in immediately, albeit not much with the half-moon hovering halfway behind clouds; still, it is enough to illuminate some of Riku’s apartment, giving him enough light to make out the shapes all around him.

It looks so much emptier in the darkness.

The thought of this brings a lump into Riku’s throat. It had felt so full, so vibrant and warm, just an hour earlier. After his move-in crew had finished eating dinner, they had packed up their things, sweaty and exhausted and content, ready to head to their own homes. Now that almost everyone has graduated, ‘home’ means different things; their common meeting point shall always be their usual bar, but beyond that, there is no longer a chance to walk out of his door and find his friends instantly like when they had lived in the same dorms.

But everyone else’s definitions of what a home is are vastly different, Riku realizes in stunned shock. Tifa and Aerith are rooming together still, waiting for Zack, Aerith’s boyfriend, to come back from his brief overseas deployment. Yuffie has been slowly but surely winning over URG’s resident introverted beauty, the quiet, painfully-shy Vincent Valentine having fallen for the girl and her silliness before anyone was the wiser, so she will be going back to his apartment just off-campus. Cloud and Leon have each other to hold in the comfort of their own flat.

But Riku is alone. He does not know how to handle the silence of his apartment.

He does not sleep well that night. By 11PM, he has decided that he simply misses the sounds of campus life, so he puts on a podcast to fill the dead air. By midnight, he thinks that his exhausted will overtake him if he just focuses on his breathing, reveling in the silence of his new abode.

By 4 o’clock in the morning, Riku finally admits that he is lonely. He always has been, but the buffer of friends and neighbours and life has blocked out this creeping dread for the past four years. Now, he is confronted with nothing but reality.

His bed is cold. He shall invest in more blankets. It’s not like he has anyone else to spend his money on, anyways.

xXx

“Sora-“

“C’mon, Riku!”

“Man, that’s so unhygienic, you know that, right?”

Sora shoved Riku’s shin playfully before taking a big bite of the snowball in his hand anyways, ignoring Riku’s warnings. “Snow’s so fun though!” the younger insisted, smile as wide as ever.

Half of Riku wanted to beam back, wanted to bask in the light which always seemed to emanate from Sora’s smile. His other half, however, wanted to glower and bark in irritation at the younger, for the sleeplessness which he had been suffering from for the last two days is not going to get better anytime soon.

The reason for his sleeplessness tossed the rest of the snowball, suddenly shivering as if just realizing how cold the world really is. “Let’s go back inside- it’s freezing!” Sora said brightly, shifting in thigh-deep snow and beginning the hike back up the stairs.

Rolling his eyes, Riku found his irritation easing slightly at the ridiculous sight of Sora’s attempt to get back to the lobby. Each step was sloppy and wet, for the younger had decided to come outside their apartment wearing nothing but a muscle shirt, shorts, and flip flops. With every smack of Sora’s flip flops, Riku had to bite back a smile. It didn’t take long for him to simply give in and return Sora’s smile, however, for when the younger reached the top of the stairs, he slipped, collapsing directly into the elder’s arms. The moment Riku caught him, all Sora could do was giggle and slap Riku’s sweater-clad bicep proudly. “Those workouts are paying off, dude!” he cheered, righting himself before sauntering proudly back into their apartment.

Riku did not follow right away. Sora’s body heat still penetrated his clothes and into his flesh so easily, the pressure and weight of Sora’s lithe form simultaneously filling him with such affection and desire that he could scarcely breathe. It took all of his effort to steel his nerves before entering the building after the younger, only to find that Sora was calling his name, holding open the elevator door with a wicked grin on his face. “The buzzer for holding it open is gonna come on, Riku! Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

The squeak which slipped past Riku’s lips was more than a little undignified as he heard said buzzer begin to screech obnoxiously, so he picked up the pace and shuffled inside. The moment he was past the threshold, Sora released the door; thankfully, that ended the buzzer’s screeching, too, giving them both some silence before the lift began to rise.

Riku did not care about the reprieve from the noise. His thoughts were focused solely on one thing.

How in the world had he once acted natural around Sora?

It would still be at least a week until they were able to leave the apartment; snowfall was forecasted for that night as well, promising to pile up even higher, blocking any chances Riku could have had in escaping the apartment. As it was, however, he was losing his mind being trapped with the younger, for Sora had absolutely no shame when it came to Riku. Sora happily pranced about barely anything but a binder and boxers whenever Riku was around; Sora would hug and hold Riku casually whenever there was a chance, so at-ease that it felt almost rude to say anything to stop him from doing so; Sora would reach out and smile and laugh and hold onto Riku’s hand like the elder was his one anchor in the world whilst he chattered away about anything and everything, filling Riku’s ears with the sound of his light, lilting voice, his hand’s heat spreading across Riku’s entire body, flooding his senses with Sora’s scent, warmth, heartbeat-

And Riku couldn’t touch him.

And, after hours, days, weeks, months of trying to deny it… Riku could no longer say anything to the contrary. Riku wanted to reciprocate, to push it further, to take Sora as his own.

To be Sora’s.

But he was just Sora’s friend, roommate, confidant. Husband.

The situation was baffling.

The intensity of his desire to monopolize, to hold and cherish the younger, came to a head that evening. He had gotten used to the thick layer of blankets Sora had brought over to his bed the first night of their snowy confinement. Each time Sora cheerfully announced that Riku would be warm enough thanks to that pile, the elder had to bite back the urge to reply no, you’re warm enough, just move closer. Still, he couldn’t say that- anything that would jeopardize the careful balance he had created with Sora needed to be destroyed immediately, for Riku did not know how in the world the younger would react if he realized just how much Sora occupied Riku’s thoughts- so he merely accepted the pile of blankets and settled into bed. Sora would join in less than thirty minutes, and then, Riku would lay awake for the rest of the night, listening to Sora’s gentle, adorable breathing until he drove himself mad.

However, Sora didn’t come. After forty-five minutes, Riku almost walked out of his room in search for the younger. Before he could, he stopped himself; there was no guarantee, per se, that Sora would sleep in Riku’s bed, after all. Sora had his own bedroom. He had never promised to join Riku.

Would he let his feelings slip if he went out to hunt for the younger?

Blushing and frustrated by his own circular thoughts, Riku made do with doing a rep of push-ups and sit-ups. Sora still made no appearance. Riku took a shower, but the younger never arrived. By the time Riku was in a fresh set of pyjamas and just about ready to dive back under his covers in utter shame from his worry and cowardice, he finally put his foot down. Where the hell is this guy?

It took barely ten seconds to find Sora. Before bed, the younger had been watching something on his phone, not worried about running out of battery life due to their multiple, already-charged spares; Riku quickly found the man curled up on the couch, softly snoozing away without a care in the world in a t-shirt and shorts. All Riku could do upon finding him was squat down on his haunches, running his hands through his hair as he felt pure embarrassment threatening to swallow him up from the floor. Why in the world had he been so worried?

Once his cheeks no longer felt aflame, he softly shook Sora’s shoulders. “Hey, Sora. You gotta get up,” he whispered. The younger didn’t stir, though. Riku tried again, and again, and again, all to no avail. Eventually, he sighed and scooped up the younger man in his arms, muttering, “Alright, you lazy bum. I’ll put you to bed.”

His heart both fluttered and nearly beat right out of his chest as he watched Sora snuggle instinctively into his chest, the moonlight’s beams illuminating his tanned skin, painting him with ethereal beauty; it was Sora’s voice, softly whispering, “You’re comfy, Riku,” in his sleep, that truly almost broke the elder, though.

His hands tightened their grip, want and frustration forcing him to swallow down his feelings in favour of heading to Sora’s bed. At least this was a chance to get a good night’s rest-

-except Sora refused to let him go, even as Riku laid him down upon his own bed.

No matter what Riku did, the younger would not relinquish his hold upon Riku. No matter how much he tried to remove Sora’s hands, the man’s grip seemed deadlocked into Riku’s shirt, clutching onto him with a desperation that did not match the peacefulness of his expression. After trying in vain for almost ten minutes, he finally gave up, begrudgingly bringing the younger to his own bedroom.

Almost as if sensing the difference in mattresses, Sora finally released Riku’s shirt once Riku attempted laying the younger upon his own bed. The sight almost made Riku want to cry; he just wanted to sleep, but knowing Sora (knowingly or not) preferred so strongly to be in Riku’s space rather than his own made his knees weak, mouth dry, hands clammy and feverish all at once. He felt ill.

It was an illness that would go away if he could actually hold his spouse. Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen.

Heaving a long, weary, sigh, Riku tucked the younger in, contenting himself to merely closing his eyes. The sounds of Sora’s light breathing was soothing, at least; he seemed so at peace, curled up on his side with one hand still loosely gripping onto Riku’s collar. He seemed as if he was perfectly content, as if this was exactly where he wanted to be.

At least, Riku liked to think so. It would be nice if it were true.

That beautiful fragment of peace was shattered when Sora rolled over, suddenly snoring loudly enough to make Riku snort. The ungainly sound quickly morphed into startled pleas and yelps as Sora sat up, confused and dazed and frightened as he mumbled, “Riku, wha- what the hell was that?”

Riku didn’t say a word, merely rolling out of his bed, grabbing his phone, and going into the bathroom. While signal had been choppy for the past few days, it seemed to be working then; so, he opened up the group chat he usually ignored and, with fingers shaking from laughter at the stupidity of it all (all while Sora bemoaned loudly outside the sudden realization that his own snoring had scared him and woken him up), Riku typed out the message he knew his friends had been waiting to read for months.

‘I think I’m in love with Sora.’

Instantly, the truth slammed into him like a ton of bricks. No one else had ever made him feel like this before; he had desired people, yes, and he had held flames for people in the past, but no one else had ever managed to stir this kind of devotion, this craving for more, this affection and warmth and care and adoration which flooded his chest to the brim, compressing his lungs to the point where he didn’t know how to breathe if it was not to say Sora’s name. He loved his husband- the man who had agreed to marry him expressly not out of love, but out of desperation, out of worry, out of spite towards their parents. The man who had married him because Riku hadn’t loved him back then- because Riku had been safe.

But things were different now. Riku wanted Sora. And Sora didn’t love him back.

So… what now?

Riku groaned. He doubted he’d get any sleep that night, either- there were too many things to think about-

-that, and Sora sounded very, very awake. Time to play pretend, I guess. At least he could tease Sora about snoring enough to potentially make the younger sleep in his own bed that night. He doubted it, though; Sora really seemed to like Riku’s bed, and Riku hated Sora’s, so… yeah. No sleep for him, it seemed.

Chapter Text

“How did you two start dating?”

Riku finds that his fingers tighten around his cup automatically. He has heard this story before, has watched his friends try to explain themselves with as much sheepish joy as they ever allow themselves to display. He has heard all of the nitty-gritty details already, knowing every single plot twist and ironic work of fate which has brought Cloud and Leon together amidst the cruel, unrelenting streets of Midgar all those years ago.

Yuffie doesn’t know the story, however. So, Cloud shrugs, gently nudging Leon’s shoulder so that the other man does not succumb to a wave of internal angst elicited by pure embarrassment while the blond speaks.

It is a simple story in reality. The two juniors had sat together in chemistry class, assigned to the same workbench at the back of the room through the luck of the draw. It had been all well and good, Cloud states matter-of-factly, considering their high school had been more than a little rowdy in comparison to Shinra Private. Having someone who actually wanted to pass as a lab partner had been a plus in his eyes. It hadn’t hurt that while the rest of the class seemed intent on blowing things up, Cloud had simply been able to sit close to the brooding boy with the strange scar across his face, who was surprisingly less emo than he had expected based on the amount of crosses and fur he liked to wear.

And then, Cloud had found Leon being harassed by Seifer, the school’s most notoriously overgrown bully. Something about disliking the fact that Ms. Trepe always pointed out Leon’s top marks and not Seifer’s, although everyone doubted he even had any to laud. Stepping in had been automatic, Cloud says now; Leon only chimes in to state that Cloud had definitely had a goal in mind, standing up for the resident quiet punk. After Seifer had been taken care of, they had pretended that nothing had happened, but in class, they had begun to grow closer. Then, at the pep rally, the head cheerleader (“Jessie’s a great girl,” Tifa states hastily, trying to defend her old friend, “but she just… doesn’t know when to quit-“) had decided that Cloud’s puberty-fueled transformation from skinny, acne-ridden teen with limp, greasy blond hair to built, gorgeous young man warranted a proper feel-up; Leon had found Cloud desperately trying to back away, and in return for helping him with Seifer, had lent a hand and helped Cloud escape into the metal workshop.

The cocktail tastes bitter on Riku’s tongue, although he knows it has enough sugar between the grenadine and the peach schnapps to kill a man. It is not his friends’ fault that he is jealous, that he has memorized the next bit of this conversation so well that he could have recited it in his sleep.

But jealous, Riku is. He wishes he could find someone with this kind of ease.

Cloud begins parroting the conversation to an absolutely-enamored Yuffie. “Leon’s only comment was, ‘Damn, do you have that reaction to every girl?’” He drops his voice slightly, accentuating his vowels to perfect the affectation of the brunet by his side, much to Leon’s chagrin. Then, he switches to his usual inflections, replying to himself, “’ Yes actually, I’m more into guys myself.”

Yuffie’s eyes sparkle as she says, “And he said he’s the same, right?”

Rolling his eyes, Leon stands up. “I’m going to the washroom.”

Cackling, Cid calls, “Don’t piss yourself out of embarrassment, now.”

While Leon gestures crudely to Cid exactly where he can stick his comment, all with a completely stoic face as he heads towards the bathroom, Cloud sips his beer and nods. “I teased him about Seifer, since that asshole’s always bothered Leon more than anyone else, but he just rejected the idea.”

“And? And?”

Riku looks out into the bar, hoping, praying, that his eyes will magically fall upon someone with whom he can magically banter with- someone who could one day tell embarrassing stories like this to Yuffie while Riku runs off to hide in the bathroom. His search comes up empty, though, and Cloud carries on with a wry chuckle. “He got mad and told me that it’s disgusting, because ‘he has taste’. So, I asked him what his taste was- if it’s not Seifer, then it’s not blond and blue-eyed, but Squall just said he hated Seifer’s attitude. If he shut up, he’d be hotter.”

“Please tell me you pounced on him,” Yuffie squeaks, practically bouncing in her seat.

Tifa is the one to lean back and snigger loudly, her pointed looks finally causing Cloud to flush as well. “Someone pounced on someone, because the next day I caught them both with hickeys, holding hands in the back of Chem class.”

Yuffie’s screeching giggles is ear-splitting, but when she begins to bemoan her struggles with her latest conquest, Riku is more than happy to oblige in the conversation. He does not want to discuss Cloud and Leon’s happiness any longer. He loves his friends, truly and dearly with all his heart- that does not mean he has grown strong enough to not harbour any jealousy.

After all they’ve gone through together, their first conversation in that bar down in Midgar all those years ago still rings fresh in his mind. He is jealous of his friends. Going into that place, coming to URG- everything would have been far less frightening if he had had a hand to hold in Chem class through it all, too.

xXx

“Have you tried… seducing him?” Yuffie offered for the millionth time in the group chat, a comment which was promptly supported by a barrage of sweat drops and eggplants and all manner of emojis that Riku had absolutely no desire to unpack. Even if he wanted to figure out what in the world was going on (calling Leon’s repeated messages consisting of sparkles and peaches and the flag of Zanarkand over and over again ‘bizarre’ would have been the world’s greatest understatement) he had absolutely no way to even begin to parse what was going on. Cid had already offered the brilliant idea of Riku just jumping Sora’s bones, the man now cackling as Aerith and Tifa worked their damnedest to extract every detail from him about his week spent trapped in isolation with Sora.

He knew they wouldn’t be helpful. He had just needed to get his feelings out somewhere, to have someone read and validate his thoughts; unfortunately, what he had received in return was nothing but this absolute mess of messages streaming in. Riku understood why they were so invested in this- they had been teasing him about his sweet relationship with Sora for months, after all, so to see it actually having blossomed into something real must feel like the best plot twist possible for them as his friends and as observers to the mess which was now his life.

With a sigh, he laid heavily back onto his bed, holding his phone above his face as he typed. “I don’t know what you want me to do,” he insisted for the nth time. Once it was sent, his phone continued to buzz, but he ignored it for a moment, placing the device upon his chest and looking out of the window.

The sky was blue. After a week of being trapped with Sora in his apartment, the sun had finally decided to come out the day before, beginning the process of defrosting Radiant Garden little by little; clearly, it had worked, for Riku was now dressed in a t-shirt from the sudden heat after having been bundled up for so long. The sun felt like a stark reminder that his feelings meant nothing, in all honesty. Now that the world was warm again, life would go on, business as usual. His suddenly-awakened feelings for his husband meant nothing in the grand scheme of the universe.

…they meant everything to Riku, though. He knew his world would never be the same, knowing that the sunbeam embodied by Sora’s very spirit would never belong to Riku beyond their legal ties as married partners.

When he had first told his friends of his realization, he had listened to their immediate counsel. Try breakfast in bed, Tifa had suggested; Sora was more of a cereal or smoothie guy, and when Riku had attempted cooking in silence, he had managed to burn things badly enough to wake the younger up with the scent of smoke. Have a study date, Aerith had tried; when he had offered to help Sora look over his notes, though the younger had firmly rejected any and all advances, claiming that his brain needed to be ‘empty before finals cramming began’ in the next few weeks. Sleep naked with him had been Leon’s blunt offering, but Riku had felt that it bordered more on harassment than anything romantic (and Riku would be far too cold to be anything but pathetic, if he was being honest), and Cloud’s blunt comment of You’re married, just have a honeymoon finally earned the blond a block on the app which had lasted a grand total of two hours.

Serenade him, Yuffie had offered. Riku’s only reply had been, no, he’s got a headache so he’s been a little grumpy all day, an answer which eliciting nothing but cooing adoration from his more excitable friends, none of which was helpful to the baffled young man.

So, Riku had nothing. The snowstorm-filled week passed with no more progress to be had. Yet, Riku could not help but hold out hope in his heart, a flame only steadily fueled by the support of his friends as he explained that there had indeed been something which had changed between them.

Sora continued to sleep in Riku’s bed, after all. It was maddening; each time Riku awoke to sunbeams filtering through his window and landing upon perfectly-tan skin and cherubic lips, it took all he had to bite back his desire and hop into a cold shower. As he aptly grumbled to Yuffie one day, much to her bemusement, he was losing his mind. “I’m either going to beat the shit out of him the next time he does it,” he growled bitterly, “or I’m going to kiss him. Either way, he’s getting fucked.”

His threats were empty, though, and everyone knew it. Sympathetic pats on the back were constantly accompanied by snickers and adoring teasing. “It’ll be alright, Riku,” Aerith murmured softly.

Riku struggled to believe her. It wasn’t even hell, this situation in which he found himself; it was limbo, being forever suspended between satisfaction and rejection, this abyss from which he could not escape for fear of stepping too far over a boundary line. Success was just as frightening as failure, but this purgatory caused his stomach to twist and his heart to swell and his love to burn with a fervour he never knew he could possess for anyone.

But Sora kept smiling at him sleepily every morning, and Riku knew that his heart would belong to the other eternally unless he did something to break himself out of this deadlock.

So, Riku tried. It wasn’t entirely successful, but then again, Riku had never tried so wholeheartedly to win someone over before. Still, he did his best to prove to the younger the extent of his affections; as exam season hit and Sora threw himself into his studies, Riku wasn’t exactly subtle about speeding through his own work in order to be able to also fully devote himself to taking care of Sora’s every need. Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, helping him study, holding his hand and assuring him that he would pass, yes he would graduate, he’d be successful, don’t worry, Riku believed in him and he always would-

Sora never noticed, though. He merely smiled and hugged Riku tight and thanked him with that very earnestness that had won over Riku’s heart to begin with, firmly believing that Riku was every bit the friend who had supported him since they had first met.

When Riku rejected an offer from Kairi to have the couple come over after Sora’s second-last exam to party (she had finished her last exam of the term that day), Kairi finally brought up his increased presence in Sora’s daily life. The fact that they had run into each other on the bus was pure coincidence, but the determined look in her eyes made Riku uneasy, a feeling which was quickly proven right. “You like him, don’t you? Like, you actually have feelings for him,” Kairi said pointedly, slipping into the seat next to Riku, effectively blocking his exit.

“What, no hello?” he asked, but his weak chuckle quickly dissipated in favour of simply avoiding eye contact. For a moment, he wondered whether it was worth lying, whether it was worth saving face momentarily in front of this young woman. He already had enough people teasing him about his sudden realization as it was. This idea was quickly scrapped, however. Knowing his luck, Kairi would relay this message to Sora, making the younger think that Riku would never have any romantic feelings for him at all; Riku had absolutely no need to shoot himself in the foot before he even managed to load a shot.

Sighing heavily, the redhead adjusts her headband and crosses her arms, leaning back into her seat with an air of sagacity of someone far beyond her years. “Riku, I’m going to be really blunt, but this is about Sora, so no hard feelings, okay?”

“…okay,” he replied after a moment. Kairi loved Sora, after all. If Yuffie’s partner ever deserved an interrogation, Riku wouldn’t hesitate to tear into them for Yuffie’s sake, either.

Cutting straight to the point, Kairi asked, “You’ve always been gay, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve never found women attractive?”

“No,” Riku responded honestly. He had tried it a few times, but every single time he had found a woman in his arms, he had been completely turned off. It just wasn’t for him, as much as his parents probably wished it was.

The crease in Kairi’s brow was more than a little unnerving. Clearly picking her words carefully, she explained, “Sora’s… not a normal guy, y’know? He means everything to me, and Yuffie told me- don’t give me that look,” she chided sternly, smacking him lightly on the arm, “we do indeed gossip about you two because we love you- she told just how serious you are. And that’s great and all, but have you really thought about it?”

Riku blinked at her, utterly baffled. “About…?”

“Holding him. You should know.”

It took Riku a moment to properly connect the dots, causing his face to burn hotter than he ever thought imaginable. His ears almost seemed to sting as he closed his eyes to avoid eye contact; immediately, Riku regretted it, for the first image he saw when he closed his eyes was Sora’s lithe form laid bare for him to see, long, scarred legs quivering in want and sensitive desire, his cheeks flushed and brown hair mussed and entwined with Riku’s strong, pale fingers, lips parted and begging for Riku-

He had never even considered his anatomy, Riku realized. He just wanted to make Sora feel good. It didn’t matter what he looked like. All that mattered was that whatever Riku could hold belonged to Sora, no matter what.

Clearing his throat, Riku put on his best affectation of an unaffected, calm demeanor. He wasn’t successful, tripping over his own voice as he tried to formulate the words that would satisfy Kairi’s blunt interrogation. After numerous attempts to start some kind of long-winded explanation, Riku merely sighed, leaning back into his seat, letting his head loll over to the side to gaze out of the window.

Now that the snow had cleared, the flowers which made Radiant Garden so famous had truly begun to bloom. They would bloom all the way up till the wintertime, their beauty the main attraction for the town. I should take Sora to the gardens once he’s done with exams, he thought distantly. He loves looking at them.

Finally, he offered in a whisper, “Sora is Sora. I just want to be with him, if he’d let me.”

The embrace was unexpected, so sudden that Riku’s back stiffened upright in shock as Kairi buried her face in Riku’s shoulder. “Then tell him, Riku. I want you two to be together. You’re good for him, and based on what your friends have told me, he’s good for you, okay?” Her smile was broad and ruefully affectionate, all crooked and painfully warm. “Just… write him a letter if you don’t know how to say it to him.” At Riku’s confused expression, she explained with a giggle, “He loves reading letters. I used to send him letters every summer when he was away at camp, and they were always his favourite.”

With that knowledge in hand, Riku could only thank Kairi for the support and totter on home. There were far too many things to think about, and he had no idea where to even start. How could he possibly tell Sora how he felt?

Write a letter. He likes letters.

So… Riku wrote. Or at least, he tried. He sat down at his desk that evening once all of his work was done and put fingers to keyboard. Soon enough, he gave up on that; it felt too impersonal to type out his feelings, so he scrounged around in his desk until he found some decent stationary and a pen. Within the next hour, he ran out of stationary, the crumpled pile in his recycling bin growing taller and taller until he suddenly stopped what he was doing, collecting the evidence and rushing out of the apartment to the garbage room in order to dispose of it all, keeping it away from Sora’s curious eyes. When he returned, he sat back down, but his next attempts were just as clumsy, leaving him feeling inept, a fish out of water compared to his usual confidence.

Words were difficult, he found; there was a reason why his job focused primarily on numbers and statistics. He wasn’t built for feelings like this, for exposing vulnerable pieces of himself to the one person who had managed to hold the mightiest sword of them all, able to take Riku down with a single blow.

If Sora rejected him…

His fingers trembled at the mere thought of it. If Sora wanted to leave him after finding out the truth behind his affection, Riku would break.

Still, the words had to be said. He did not know how to phrase it, so he put it first into a list; it was easier to focus his thoughts into bullets, organizing everything so succinctly by the time the sun had set that it almost felt false.

He loved Sora Crescent. He loved Sora’s smile, his laughter, his body heat and his silliness and his penchant for saying the worst things at the best moments. He was happy to have Sora in his life. He doubted he had ever been happier than this past year spent by Sora’s side. He wanted to make Sora smile forever, and he would do anything he could to achieve that goal. And, with Kairi’s final questions in mind, he added his final confession, his final piece of evidence: he saw Sora as every bit the man Sora saw in himself, no matter what anyone else thought. And he absolutely adored that man with all his heart.

And if Sora didn’t feel the same way… Riku’s doors would still be open for Sora. Riku simply wanted to build a place where Sora felt at home- and if that place was in Riku’s arms, then even better.

Chapter Text

The fact that the redhead recognizes him is one thing, but to actually have the man approach Riku is something else entirely. He has absolutely no idea what to do as he realizes just how eagerly the man lopes towards him, finding his feet glued to the floor. How does Riku even know him? He doesn’t even remember where they had met, but with hair such a brilliant red, green eyes so beautiful, so sharp and piercing, he doubts he could have truly forgotten it-

Flushing, realization floods through his body alongside a wave of embarrassment mingling with pure, unequivocal want bubbling up in his core. He recognizes this man alright; more accurately, he recognizes his scent, smile, leer, walk. He knows that if he gets the chance to try, he will recognize his taste, the sharpness of wide, bony hips in his hands, too.

The redhead looks far different during the daytime than he did that night in the club. Even more than that, however, is the stark difference in his company- namely, the presence of another man by his side where he had previously been alone. Riku swallows thickly as he notes hair so dark it almost looks blue in the light, an ungainly scar that could give Leon a run for his money marring the crest of a tall, proud nose. His eyes are a piercing blue, thin lips curved in almost automatic disapproval as the redhead drags him over towards Riku.

Once they are but a few feet away, the man finally addresses him. “I remember you, pretty boy,” he drawls, his voice just as sultry and teasing as Riku remembers.

He wishes he didn’t remember. It had felt good in the darkness of the club- to see the man in broad daylight brings back memories of his own desire, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with them. “I… remember you, too.”

With a wink, the redhead straightens hunched shoulders and announces, “Name’s Lea. Got it memorized?”

I wish I didn’t, he almost quips back as his brain immediately attaches a name to the lithe form he had almost made love to in the back of a club. “Riku,” he replies instead, words tight and strained, discomfort reaching his peak.

Thankfully, the other man seems to sense it. “I’m Isa,” he says coolly, “and we should head out.” Grabbing Lea’s arm, he murmurs with warnings laced in his tone, “As for you, I don’t want to see whoever you’ve had flings with-“

“I just wanna see if he’s doing okay!” Lea cries back.

Riku’s breath catches in his throat as he watches the next exchange play out. Lea’s eyes soften with a tenderness which Riku never could have imagined the taller man to hold within himself, his lascivious smirk growing gentle as he intertwines his fingers with Isa’s. Softly, Lea murmurs, “Y’know, you should thank Riku.” To Isa’s deadpan, silent reply, the redhead adds, “It was after that night that I realized just how much I’d rather hold you, ya moron.”

Isa’s flush is only second to Riku’s spluttered protest of, “Well, sorry I was bad, holy shit-“

“No, you were great!” Lea guffaws, throwing his head back in amusement. When he has finally managed to calm himself down, he says with a crooked smile, “But Isa’s always been the one, y’know? I mean, if he wasn’t here, I’d have you in a heartbeat, pretty boy, but- but Isa is here, and I kinda needed a reminder. It just took us a while to find our way back to each other.” After a thoughtful pause, Lea suddenly adds, “You seeing anyone, Riku?”

Jealously and irritation and loneliness flit through his heart, only to be followed by dejected resignation. Lea sees this all play out in his eyes, his brows knitting together in quiet understanding. “Well, you’re hot, and you’re a hell of a good kisser, so I wouldn’t be too worried. Keep your chin up. You’ll get there.” Then, he waves goodbye and follows after Isa, slinging his arm around the other man’s shoulders. Riku stands rooted in his spot, lip trembling as he sees Lea lean over and plant a sloppy, goofy kiss on Isa’s cheek, the stoic man turning to glare at him in irritation that is clearly not serious. There is an innate closeness there, one he recognizes between all of the lovers within his friend circles.

He does not know what it feels like to be a part of that closeness, but gods, he wants to know. He wants to know more than anything. As his eyes follow Lea and Isa’s retreating forms all the way down the street, he can see everything he has ever wanted in their relationship dancing before his very eyes.

One day, he tells himself. One day, his kiss will be the one that matters to someone.

He hopes that day is soon. He is tired of pretending like being alone is alright. He’s always been too dependent, too romantic, too needy and jealous and protective to be alone, as much as he likes to pretend otherwise.

xXx

The letter sat in Riku’s pocket for the next week while Sora prepared himself emotionally and mentally for his last final exam. At first, Riku attempted to keep the letter neat and tidy, the words having been tucked into an envelope and then placed into his wallet which sat eternally in his back pocket, ready to be pulled out at any time. As the days passed, however, he found that the letter became less something he wanted to give to the younger and more a source of strength, of inspiration- a constant reminder of his vow to finally confess his feelings to the one he loved.

They were already married. That fact still absolutely baffled Riku with the inanity of it all. How had they gotten the order of this entire affair so backwards?!

Still, Sora’s exams had to end eventually. Two hours after the younger had returned, Sora had sufficiently ripped apart his notes and eaten himself to bursting, promptly passing out from overexertion in Riku’s lap before the elder could even open his mouth. That left Riku with little choice but to put the younger to bed (in Riku’s bed, of course- otherwise, the younger would have crawled into Riku’s bed at some point, and his sleepy, childish complaints were best avoided if it could be helped) and contemplate when he was going to speak the truth.

The next day, he put his foot down. It was now or never.

Sora spent most of his first day of freedom after exams out with Kairi and his other friends- Tidus and Wakka had insisted on a pub crawl to celebrate, so Sora had gone to ensure Kairi and Xion got home safely. Riku had had some work to do in the morning, giving him plausible deniability when asked whether he wanted to join. Satisfied with that answer, Sora had headed out, leaving Riku to his devices for the day. What the younger hadn’t known was that Riku’s work consisted of a five-minute phone call and a singular email, and then, he was free to put his plans into action.

‘Plans’ was frankly too grand a word. Instead, he merely vented his anxieties by cleaning up the entire apartment, cooking Sora’s favourite meals, finishing up laundry, remaking their beds and exchanging all their linens, and organizing his pantry. By that point, the sun had already begun to set, the day having disappeared beneath his nose; it would not be long before Sora returned.

He sat at his desk, pen and paper before him, ready to re-write the bullet-point excuse of a letter he had cobbled together the week before. Perhaps it was simply due to his fatigue about the entire situation, but Riku found his words coming to him far easier than they ever had before. In barely any time at all, Riku had managed to put his thoughts into words, extrapolating his feelings with a sincerity and verbosity that would have surprised any who knew him. He wasn’t exactly a talker, after all; yet, sitting there in the dim light of his desk lamp with his head in his hands and his heart on a platter, it was strangely easy to finally write down what he wanted to say.

‘I’ve needed to tell you this for months, Sora. So, I’m getting it off my chest. I wanted to do it earlier, but between how confused I was and your exams, I didn’t want to add any extra concerns to your workload. It’s now or never.

‘I love you, Sora. I’ve loved you for probably longer than even I know. I figured it out probably after Christmas, but I only really knew during that snowstorm week. You should praise me for my control, you know- having you sleep next to me was painful that week. It still kind of is, to be honest. If you don’t feel the same way as me, I’m happy to buy you the same mattress and sheets so that you can sleep better in your own room, because I don’t know how much longer I can handle having you sleep with me where I can’t touch you.

‘I love you.’ The more and more Riku wrote it, the easier it was to say, the barriers which had stopped him before finally easing away through sheer repetition and force of will. ‘I love your smile and your sense of humour. I love the fact that despite it all, you’ve never stopped looking forward. I love how much pride you put into your work and how loyal you are to your friends, and how much you suck at video games and how shitty your taste in movies is. I love how you can’t read the room. It makes me so happy. I-“ Riku sucked in a deep breath, suddenly dizzy at what his ramblings had brought him to say. ‘I love the fact that I’ve been happier this year than I’ve ever been in my entire life, and it’s all thanks to you. And you didn’t even try, you were just here, and that was all I needed. I always thought everyone else was exaggerating when they said that all they need in life to be happy is their partner, but… I get it now. I’m happy, Sora. I don’t think I’ve ever really been able to say that before. I feel happy, and fulfilled. Like I finally have a purpose in life. And it’s all thanks to you.

‘I know I’m doing this backwards, but… I love you, Sora. I know we’re already married. It’s so stupid, to have fallen for you after our wedding. Especially when it wasn’t really a wedding as much as a cover-up to begin with. I know that we married as friends, but I want us to be something more. I want us to be real. But even if there’s no way that could happen, I mean it when I say that I would marry you a million times over to give you your freedom again. I don’t regret a thing. Seeing you happy makes me happy.’

Riku shuddered, pen stilling after what felt like an eternity of vomiting ideas onto paper. Shaking, he finally found the strength to pick up the pen once more, penning the last few sentences he needed to complete his letter.

Just writing the words made him feel sick, however.

‘If you don’t feel the same, that’s okay. We can stay roommates, or friends, or whatever you want. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m just happy being in your life. But if you don’t want to be with me anymore, knowing this-‘ and he shuddered, blinking back tears from his eyes before they could spill onto fresh ink, ‘-then just let me know. I’ll sign divorce papers if you need to leave me. I won’t hate you for it. I’ll be heartbroken, but I won’t stop you. I want you to be happy. That’s love, isn’t it?’

There was no way to end the letter. How could he sum up his feelings? How could he merely tie them up neatly with a bow, adding a simple little ‘Sincerely, Riku’ after his heart laid bare, as clumsy and pathetic of an attempt as it was?

No, he couldn’t finish the letter. So, he merely sighed, leaving it as is. Before he had the chance to fold it up or put it away, however, a crashing outside his door caught his attention. Bolting out of the door, Riku found a stumbling Sora staggering through the hallway to the bathroom. “Sora, how much did you have to drink?”

“A teeny-weeny bit too much!” was the giggly reply.

Whatever happened to going ‘only to make sure Kairi and Xion got home?! Groaning, Riku got to work. The younger knew how to take care of himself when drunk, so Riku merely went to the kitchen and packed up the dinner he had prepared; Riku didn’t have an appetite after writing, and Sora always got sick if he ate while this intoxicated, so no food for him, either. Once that was taken care of, he wandered over to the bathroom, ready to rub the younger’s back or hold him steady as he attempted to brush his teeth while the world spun around him.

He didn’t find Sora in the bathroom, though. Sora wasn’t in the younger’s bedroom either. Heart racing, Riku sprinted into his own bedroom, his gut clenching in pure terror as he spotted the letter sitting open, exposed for the world to see upon his desk.

Thankfully, Sora had collapsed face-first into Riku’s bed, clearly having paid the letter no mind amidst the numerous other pages sitting around Riku’s workstation. Sighing in relief, Riku padded over to the younger, sitting at the edge of the bed and running his hand tenderly down Sora’s hair, settling at the nape of his neck, massaging it gently. “You feeling okay?”

“My head hurts,” the younger complained, muffled by Riku’s duvet.

Snorting, Riku chided softly, “Yeah, that’s what happens when you leave at noon and drink all day-“

“My head hurts,” Sora repeated louder, turning his head to the side to eye Riku with a small pout.

Rolling his eyes, Riku asked, “Alright, and what do you need me to do-“

“Kiss it better, Riku.”

Riku froze. “…what?”

Sitting up suddenly, Sora jabbed a playfully-accusatory finger into Riku’s chest. “What, do you not want to? Am I so ugly-“

“No, no! Wait, Sora, what the hell-?” Riku fumbled, desperately trying to grasp at what in the world was happening.

Before he could say a word, however, Sora’s eyes began to fill with tears, his voice hitching as he whispered, “Riku, do you hate me?”

“No!” His response was more aggressive than even he could have expected, but he couldn’t stop himself. Cupping Sora’s face, he brushed puffy lids tenderly with his thumbs as he clumsily insisted, “God, no, Sora- of course I don’t hate you, I love you-“

The words died in his throat. What had he just said?

“What?” Sora whispered, blue eyes impossibly wide and watchful.

Riku gulped, breathed, almost vomited. “I… I love you, Sora. Don’t say that I hate you. I don’t.”

And then, to his utter dismay, the tears in Sora’s eyes seemed to evaporate in an instant. Before Riku could even begin to process what was going on, any and all hints of intoxication disappeared, the younger reaching into his pocket to retrieve his phone as a hearty fit of laughter began to wrack his shoulders. Sitting like a shattered stone by his side, all Riku could do was watch, jaw agape, arms limp by his sides as Sora happily speed-dialed a number and brought his phone to his ear, leaning onto Riku’s shoulder as he did so without a care in the world. After a moment, the recipient of the call seemed to pick up. “You owe me twenty bucks, Kai,” Sora said teasingly. “He confessed before I did.”

Some incoherent screeching was heard on the other end, to which Sora merely replied, “Well, you never said I couldn’t induce a confession, so I win!” And with that, he hung up the phone, beaming from ear to ear as he tucked it back into his pocket, completely sober.

Utterly lost, Riku mumbled, “What… what the hell was that?”

Grinning wickedly, Sora said with a cheerful air, “I mean, I was kind of sick of pretending like I didn’t know what was going on, so I figured, might as well do something about it! But Kairi bet me you wouldn’t say anything first, so I figured that now was as good a time as any, right?” Deviously, he added with a wink, “So, wanna get a pizza with the prize money?”

“Wait- you knew?”

“Yeah. You’re great at a lot of things, Riku.” The fondness in Sora’s eyes was almost gutting to the elder to witness. “You’re not so good at acting, though.”

Scrambling for words, Riku breathed, “Why didn’t you- why didn’t you say anything sooner, Sora?”

The younger’s cheeks turned bright pink at this, surprisingly enough. With an embarrassed pout, he replied almost petulantly, “I dunno… it was just kind of cool, y’know?” To Riku’s blank stare, he explained, “Just seeing this cool dude I met last year fumbling so cutely over me- I mean, I liked you for a long time, but I never thought you would feel the same way, so-“

“Hold it,” Riku interrupted, grabbing onto Sora’s shoulders to look him in the eyes. “You- you really, actually like me?”

The blush was so bright it almost burned, but under Sora’s tanned skin, it was nothing but absolutely adorable. Nodding, the younger giggled, “Of course I do, Riku! I don’t really know how I couldn’t like you.”

It took a few moments for this to sink in, for Sora’s look of proud amusement to shift into frightened concern as he cried, “Riku- Riku, what’s the matter? What’s wrong?”

Reaching up with trembling fingers, Riku felt wetness on his cheeks. He was crying. Immediately turning away from Sora, he stood, pacing to the other side of the room as tremors began to shake him from the very core, panic and embarrassment and shock and disbelief coursing through his veins so powerfully that he could scarcely breathe, scarcely see, scarcely think; his fingertips and toes felt almost numb, blood rushing to his core, pumping through his ears so loudly that it drowned out all other sounds. He was dizzy, he was going to be sick, he was going to crumble-

His body heaved with a sob as he felt thin, familiar arms circle his waist, the feeling of a familiar binder pressing into his back, words of apology and love and regret entering Riku’s ears although he could barely pick them apart. He sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed, the tension and fear hanging over his head and hunching his shoulders for the past few months finally releasing him, leaving him in a boneless heap on the floor.

Sora instantly pulled Riku’s head onto his lap and wiped away his tears, hugging Riku against his chest, those bright blue eyes filling with tears mirroring his own. “I’m sorry, Riku,” Sora whispered, guilt oozing from every pore. “Was it because of our bet? I didn’t know it would hurt you like this- Riku, talk to me!”

Rather than saying a word, Riku merely sat up, shivering, his entire body cold and numb and broken. Leaning back against the wall, he held out his arms towards Sora. “Come here.”

Sora obeyed instantly, straddling Riku’s lap and burying himself in Riku’s arms without an ounce of hesitation. His body was just as small and light as usual, his heat piercing through Riku’s skin, startling him back into awareness as Sora’s flesh heated up Riku’s body effortlessly. His hot breath tickled Riku’s neck; the moment it did so, reality struck Riku, plunging into his heart like a knife. Sora knew Riku loved him. Sora had known all along, and Sora wasn’t running away.

“I love you, Riku,” Sora whispered against Riku’s neck. “I always have, silly.”

At these words, Riku allowed himself to finally let go, his desperation pushing through his barriers at last. “I was so scared of losing you,” he confessed in a flustered, teary mess. “I thought I’d be pushing you into something you didn’t want- we came into this just being friends, and I liked you back then, so I didn’t know how to change our relationship-“

“Riku, for someone so smart, you’re super dumb, you know that?” Sora teased through teary laughter. “I’ve had a crush on you since forever, and I dropped so many signs and you never seemed to do anything.” Before Riku could protest, Sora added fondly, “I know, I know. Thank you, Riku. I don’t deserve you.”

Sniffling in embarrassment, Riku cleared his throat, asking faintly, “Since when?”

“Since you took me to cut my hair. I’d always liked you, but you were okay with me being me, Riku.” Emotion turned Sora’s voice thick in his throat as well, and he shivered at the memory, pressing himself further into Riku’s embrace. “It was more than I ever thought I’d get in life, y’know? With you it was so natural, and you just said I looked so good, and it made me so happy-“

“That was right after Halloween,” Riku breathed. “Since then? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you always seemed so caught up in this idea that we were always going to be friends and you were going to die alone,” Sora replied bleakly, his laughter forced. “It’s a little hard to break through someone’s shell when they’re like that.” With a snort, he added, “And honestly, Riku, I don’t know how you think I was subtle about it. Sleeping with you and cuddling all the time isn’t exactly subtle.”

The memory of Yuffie and Tifa and Aerith’s teasing voices entered his mind unbidden. They had told him as much over and over again- he was not looking forward to explaining this development in their relationship, that was for certain.

Pulling away slightly, Riku found himself staring Sora face-to-face. As carefully as he could, he grabbed Sora’s hand- and, in pure shock, he looked at Sora’s ring finger.

There were two rings. One was their wedding band- the other, the plastic ring with which he had proposed over a year earlier.

Trembling from a mixture of disbelief and fear and pure adrenaline, Riku brought Sora’s hand up to his mouth and kissed those rings. “Sora, I love you,” he whispered. “We’re already married, but… would you be mine?”

Finally, it was Sora’s turn to cry. “Of course, Riku. I always have been.”

And just like that, Riku finally got the true, proper kiss he had been fantasizing about for months. Their lips interlocked- Sora’s tasting of a suspicious lack of liquor, a fact which Riku would bring up later- with such perfect harmony that there was no doubt that they were meant for one another, bodies fitting into each other as if they were but two halves of the same whole finally finding peace within the spaces formed by the other’s shape. Riku’s taste became overwhelmed by the sensation of Sora filling his mouth, probing and sucking and pulling every bit of the elder he could within himself. It was all so new to Riku- new and unfamiliar and wonderful, the boldness of Sora’s actions combined with the wanton desire shining in darkened blue eyes and bruised pink lips when they finally parted fueling his arousal to the point of needy, painful want.

Sora paused, hesitation flickering across his face. “Do you… do you want me, Riku?” he asked, trembling voice heavy with meaning and doubt.

Riku kissed him again, gentle and tender and earnest, his heart finally laid bare for the other to see. “Forever, if you’ll have me.”

The smile which Sora gave him was worth a million nights of loneliness before. “Forever. I like the sound of that. You and me.”

And after they were boneless and spent and weary, Riku’s bedsheets damp with sweat and the air heavy with the scent of their love, Riku held Sora against his chest the way he has always wanted to as the other man cries, Riku’s clumsy, heartfelt letter gripped tightly in his hands. Riku was too tired to pull it away from Sora’s inquisitive grip; now, he was happy he hadn’t, for the gratitude and adoration shining in Sora’s eyes were unparalleled.

What a strange thing, the world was. Over a year ago, they had exchanged their vows. Only now had they become one, and it had been nothing like Riku could have ever imagined it being, but he didn’t mind.

The wait had been worth it, he thought to himself. That thought lingered all the way to the next day, as he set down a coffee for Sora- two creams, three sugars, just how he liked it. And as he watched Sora drink it gratefully, bliss spreading across his soft features as he curled up against Riku, the elder knew that that thought would never fade. Sora had always been worth it.

xXx

“We should’ve done a beach wedding from the start,” Sora murmurs dreamily.

Riku shrugs, looking over to the horizon. With the sun setting behind them, the brilliant orange and pink rays reflect off the still waters like a million stars lighting up the ocean in a path that leads to lightly frothy tides licking at their bare feet in the sand. It feels strange to be here in the place where Sora had grown up. The Destiny Islands are so unlike the cruel callousness of Midgar, the tropical white sands and frond-covered palms a scene right out a brochure. “I probably would have melted if we tried to do this in the daytime,” he replies wryly, glancing back over his shoulder to wear the festivities continue on. Their friends have somehow managed to turn their bonfire into a veritable pyre, the flames licking the skies in a breathtaking display. It does not even feel like this party had originally been Sora and Riku’s ‘second’ wedding; perhaps that is why Riku has loved every moment of it. This ceremony, upon pristine beaches and calming shores, felt right. Like it belonged to them, not anyone else. “God knows the ceremony was long enough in Midgar.”

“Yeah, but sweaty you is hot, too,” Sora chuckles, leaning his head against Riku’s shoulder.

Without hesitation, Riku wraps his arms around Sora’s shoulders and draws the younger tight, his gaze still locked on the beautiful ocean laid out before him. Winding his fingers into Sora’s short-cropped hair, he presses the younger’s ear against his chest, feeling his heartbeat travel through the shorter man’s body, sending shivers down his spine visibly, gooseflesh rising upon his bare skin despite the warmth of the evening.

“Lobster-burnt me isn’t, though,” Riku adds with a chuckle. “Not much sexy about peeling and skin cancer.”

“I’d’ve taken care of you even if you did get burnt.”

“I know.”

For a few moments, there is naught but the sensation of Sora’s heat in his arms, the waves licking their feet, and the gentle breeze brushing back their hair. Their formal attire has long been discarded, after all; Riku enjoys the contact of Sora’s bare arms wrapped around his exposed waist, his body yearning for the other man just as much as Sora curls instinctively into Riku’s form.

“But,” Sora adds in a hushed whisper, muffling his next words by pressing his lips against Riku’s flesh, “you didn’t have to go along with the whole paopu thing. It’s just a superstition around here!”

To this, Riku can only laugh. “As if I’m passing up on the chance to bind you to me some other way forever,” he teases lightly.

The paopu fruit which Aerith had told him of almost two years earlier after that random trivia night is meant to be shared by lovers, after all; here in their country of origin, Riku hadn’t hesitated to source one of the local fruits and practically force-feed half of one to Sora amidst the cheers and laughing support of their friends. “I’m not letting you get away from me that easily, kid. You’re stuck with me now.”

Sora’s eyes have always been impossibly blue, Riku thinks. Now, he knows just how to describe that blue; it is the blue of the ocean surrounding Destiny Islands at midday, the blue of water and sky connecting that land between them. It is the blue of infinite expanses, of hope, of possibilities and futures of which Riku has never allowed himself to dream.

But Sora’s eyes capture that blue. And now, Sora looks only at him.

Sora is the sky, the ocean. And Riku is his anchor in between that blue, the shoreline bringing him home. Destiny Islands is Sora’s birthplace, but after all they have been through, Riku knows; Riku is Sora’s home.

And as he kisses his husband- not his wife, not his partner or spouse or lover or friend, but his husband, upon the shores of this quiet paradise, Riku makes two promises to himself: first, he shall cherish Sora till the end of his days, for Sora is the reason his heart beats now; and second, when he goes back home to Radiant Garden, he is going to find that little plastic paopu ring he had used to propose to Sora two years earlier. He is going to find that ring and put it in a box and keep it on their mantelpiece, because that ring may have been a prize in a silly little pub trivia game, but that ring is what had brought Sora irrevocably into his life. Perhaps it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, but somehow or the other, that paopu had worked, leading them down the road to where they stand together today.

After a lifetime of doubt and betrayal and heartbreak, Riku has found happiness, belonging, love. And his name is Sora.

He promises to be the same for Sora, forever.

-fin-