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He should’ve noticed it.
Jeongin should’ve noticed it when Hyunjin stopped rambling about his day. The usual ray of light Hyunjin figuratively gives off after his classes, making him glow in this cute ethereal kind of way, the way Hyunjin would just adorably scramble to get to Jeongin and ramble about how their teacher fucked up badly on their calculus lesson, how he had gotten free cookies again from Felix at lunch, and how he met Yeeun a while ago while talking to Minho— oh.
“Is it because of Yeeun?” Jeongin broke through the deafening silence, his gaze casted towards the falling leaves opposite them. “Huh?” Hyunjin perked up, lifting his head up from the videocamera in his palms. “Uh, no. Don’t mind me.” Hyunjin sported a pursed lip, gently elbowing the younger on his shoulder. “You’re clearly upset though?” Jeongin reasons out, leaning his elbow onto his knee as he rests his cheek again his palm, gaze not leaving the elder.
And finally, he smiled. Hyunjin giggled, shaking his head in amusement at how stubborn the younger could be. “I told you! It’s nothing!” Hyunjin reasoned out, pointing a finger onto his face as he sports a beam. Jeongin’s heart leaped. “Good. You look ugly as hell when you’re sulking—”
“Jeongin, language. I am still your hyung.” Hyunjin cuts him off, half-heartedly glaring at the younger, but that was proven to be a hard task as he ends up chuckling, squeezing Jeongin’s shoulders. “Whatever.” Jeongin spat back, and the suspicion crawling up to the back of his brain didn’t help with the information he had just retrieved from that information.
Why had he cared too much anyway? Jeongin asked himself one night, perched on his bed with his knees tucked under his chin, hugging them close to his chest. Why did he care so much about Hyunjin? Jeongin knew he doesn’t play favorites. That’s one of the things Jeongin hated defining anyway.
… But yeah alright maybe he did favor Hyunjin out of everyone from his close hyungs. Maybe Felix was right when Felix had told him he l— god was he going to say it? — when Felix told him he likes Hyunjin. It was absurd. He knew he shouldn’t be liking his hyung, they were both males. But Felix only shrugged, reaching out to ruffle the youngest as he offers a small smile. “You like him innie, it’s pretty obvious.” Jeongin remembered he was quick to shake his head, waving his hand dismissively. “No, no— Lix hyung you got it all wrong—” “Oh yeah? What do you usually want to do with Hyunjin then?” Felix cuts off, crossing his arms over his chest as if to taunt the younger, but Jeongin thinks he looks cute than taunting anyway. “Uhm. I want to… talk to him always. Be there for him. Hold his hands because he looks cold— wait.” Jeongin stopped himself, staring at Felix’s growing smirk on his freckled face. “Look, that’s not the point. It’s not like I lie awake thinking about him at night!”
And as if to taunt him with Felix’s deep yet teasing voice, “Oh yeah sure.” Jeongin found himself in the same exact situation. Unable to sleep as he thought about his tall, awkward yet pretty hyung. How he had always reached out to wrap an arm around him, or hold his hand and squeezed it. God, he’s so fucked. Okay, maybe Jeongin had a tiny crush on his hyung, what about it? It wasn’t a big deal!
Until it became a big deal.
Their club was assigned to produce a film about teenage love, which was pretty cliché if Jeongin had to say since he could be kinda experiencing that? He watched as his seven other hyungs paced around the room, Chan quickly shushing them as Jisung stood up.
“So.” Jisung started, gently loudly banging his hand on the front desk, catching everyone’s attention. “I’ll get straight to the point. I’ll lead the discussion but I won’t lead the film production. I’m crap when it comes to teenage love.” Jisung admits, earning an obnoxious laugh from Changbin who was quickly silenced by Seungmin. “Does anyone wanna take the honor?” Chan asks the seven other boys, all lowering their heads as if directing the project was not a right thing to do.
“Huh? Come on guys, it’s just one film!” Jisung whined, shaking his pen in the air as he starts to walk through the desks. “Fine, I’ll choose.” Jisung proudly stated, making the boys let out a groan of disapproval. Jeongin was scared. If he were to be chosen to direct this film, he’d flip. He never had any experiences with love and imagine how stupid he’d be to direct a random script about love when he knows nothing.
“Lix, I heard you’re already finished with the projects for the finals.” Jisung stopped at the boy’s table, the poor boy flinching as he stared up at Jisung. “…yeah?” Felix says with hesitation, knowing what was about to come. “Good! You’d direct the film then, I’m sure you’re in love anyway.” Jisung patted the slightly younger boy’s back, earning a “what the hell,” from Felix who had his freckled cheeks turning beet red with a confused Chan sitting right next to him. Jisung continued his way to Seungmin’s table and told the boy he’d have to make the script. Seungmin was an angel as he just nodded, beaming immediately.
“Okay, to wrap things up. Felix will be our lead director. Seungmin, script, don’t forget that. Chan hyung, you’re good with the sound, yeah? Binnie hyung, art design. Uhm who else, right! I’ll take the lights. Hyunjin aren’t you good at Cinematography? Take the camera. So whose left is Jeongin and Minho.” Jisung squinted, jutting his lips out as he thought of what roles to give them.
“They can be the lead roles for the drama!” Seungmin announced, earning a highfive from Changbin.
Wait, drama? Acting? Me? Jeongin thought to himself, eyes widening as he wished for it to be a joke or— “Don’t we need a girl though?” Chan piped up, tilting his head before Felix puffed his cheek, nodding at Chan’s suggestion. “Why do we need girls— oh right.” Jisung sighed, already knowing that even if it was year 2020, people are still against same-sex relationships which he could say sucks.
“I know someone!” Minho who had been silent the whole discussion shoot his hand up, grinning widely. “Yeeun! You know Yeeun?” Minho eagerly piped up, nodding enthusiastically. “Shin… Yeeun?” Changbin continued, frowning a little as he tries to remember the said face.
Jeongin noticed Hyunjin’s grip tensing on his camera as he heard the name, concern evident on his face as he watched Hyunjin’s expression fell into that of grief. “If she says yes then let’s go for it!” Jisung suggested before finally dismissing the club meeting before they would be called out for noise complaint again.
Jeongin should’ve noticed.
The way Minho and Hyunjin interacted way lesser and lesser during the duration of their filming. He ended up scoring a wingman’s role in the film. He was Minho’s wingman for Yeeun. And as Jeongin hated to admit it, Seungmin writes good. The story was cliché, the typical bad boy wanting to score the pretty girl but with the help of a wingman. Not to mention how Felix is so meticulous with directing, neither of them expected Felix to be this good.
Yet Jeongin hated how inattentive he had been, he had been too busy trying to suppress the feelings he had for his hyung to notice that Hyunjin literally went mute. He never smiles anymore, and everytime they were filming. He’d find Hyunjin seated next to Yeeun, with Minho seated beside Yeeun or opposite to Yeeun.
That’s when Jeongin realized.
Hyunjin liked Yeeun. In a much simpler universe, Jeongin would have said oh shit, but no this wasn’t a simple universe. It was complicated enough that Jeongin had realized ‘okay, Hyunjin likes Yeeun but Yeeun is so obviously enamored by Minho.. who may or may not be as equally enamored to Yeeun.’
It was messy that all Jeongin could do was stare at Hyunjin in defeat, feel sorry for his hyung who was having this… unexplainable sadness in his face when him, Minho and Yeeun are talking. And he felt so so defeated.
He wanted to do something for Hyunjin. To cheer him up the very least, but that was proven hard as Jeongin saw how Hyunjin’s face lights up the moment he aims the front view of his camera to Yeeun. Jeongin could only stare.
But Jeongin knew when to give up and when not to give up. So he came up with a plan.
-
“Minnie hyung!” Jeongin pants, holding onto his chest as he crouches down a bit, Seungmin’s orbs widening as he looked at his out-of-breath dongsaeng. “Have you seen Jinnie hyung?” Jeongin says in a rush, expecting a quick answer before Seungmin breathes out a “He’s at the club room with Minho and Ye—” Oh hell no this went horribly wrong.
“Thanks hyung!” Jeongin quickly rushed, patting his hyung on the back as he dashed out to their club room. And that’s when he sees it. Yeeun, in between Minho and Hyunjin. Jeongin wanted to facepalm himself at how heavy the tension felt in the room. “Hi… I figured we were shooting today?” Jeongin lied through his teeth, squeezing his way in to the room as he plops next to Hyunjin.
It was comical, the scene he meant. There were two drinks in Yeeun’s hand and one was surely from Minho and the other was from Hyunjin. Ugh, this was so frustrating. Jeongin gladly took the bread Yeeun offered, biting on them before he finally had enough with the heated tension, grabbing Hyunjin’s drink from his palm as he sipped on it absentmindedly, aware of the stares being thrown to him.
He felt like a fucking hero. The moment they left the club room, Jeongin left no words to explain, about to leave before he was forced to turn around by Hyunjin. “Why did you do that for!” Hyunjin whined, a pout forming on his lower lip. “Hyung, you guys were like, having an intense staring contest. “ Jeongin narrated the scene before groaning. “I was thirsty too, so.” He says in defense before Hyunjin sighed, guiding them both to the rooftop.
“You know do you?” Hyunjin asked him once they were situated comfortably on one of the benches. “About what?” Jeongin tried to feign innocence, knowing too well what Hyunjin wanted to ask him. “Yeeun.” Hyunjin simply stated before sighing, leaning his back against the backrest. “You’re obvious as hell.” Jeongin rolled his eyes, before apologetically looking at Hyunjin. “I like her.” Hyunjin announced to no one but the two of them, but that ofcourse was enough for Jeongin’s chest to feel a slight sting anyway. What was he supposed to say?
“What are you waiting for? Tell her.” Jeongin said, knowing it was easier said than done. “She likes Minho.” Hyunjin whispers, directing his sad orbs at the younger making Jeongin’s heart clench painfully in his chest. Jeongin took a deep breath, knowing how to handle this as his hyung’s bestfriend.
“So what? They’re not yet together!” Jeongin insisted, wanting to at least motivate the elder. “Would I really stand a chance?” Hyunjin murmurs again through the thin air, both of them now staring at the slowly setting sun, creating a beautiful variation of bleeding oranges, reds and pinks through the skies. “Even a fool knows that everyone has a chance, you just have to know how to get it.” Jeongin smiles at him fondly, resting his head against the elder’s shoulder.
“Maybe you’re right.” Hyunjin tells him, hearing his smile on his face even if Jeongin couldn’t see. “Thank you Innie, what would I do without you?” Hyunjin gently caressed Jeongin’s hair, making the elder let out a little lovesick sigh.
Yet the elder’s question rang through his own head. What about me? Would I stand a chance for you?
-
And similar to how Jeongin had caught feelings for Hyunjin, the days were too fast that he hadn’t even realized it was the last day of filming for their sappy teenage love film to end. Jeongin was, of course, delighted, but when he looked at how Hyunjin looked even more pitiful today. His mood went downhill, pursing his lips as he approached the elder who has busy fiddling with the setting of his camera, again. “Hyunjin hyung.” Jeongin approached him, lightly patting the elder’s shoulder. “Hm?” Hyunjin says, turning his head a little to stare at Jeongin. “Remember, this is the last day of filming. You got this.” Jeongin cheered him up, smiling to motivate the elder— yet Jeongin knows his kind of motivation couldn’t be compared to what was in front of them.
Yeeun was someone Jeongin knew he could never compete for. She was pretty, she was she, she was amazing and all not Jeongin. So when he noticed Hyunjin’s head slowly turning back to face front, Jeongin felt his world slowing down, the evident pain on his chest increasing as each second ticks by.
Young love. Was it they call it? Jeongin swallows a lump of his throat, unable to look away from Hyunjin as he saw how enamored he was for the elder girl. Hyunjin lets out that lovesick smile he oh so knew because he knows he had directed that too many times to Hyunjin as well. “I got this.” Hyunjin reassures him, smiling a little as his orbs gazed onto Yeeun.
Jeongin felt pathetic, unable to hide the dismay in his face as he looks down, pretending to look back into the script as he scrambled away from Hyunjin as Felix stood in front of the camera, a clapboard in his hand.
And Jeongin just found out how ironic the whole thing was. His feelings for Hyunjin, the story of their script, and his role. Jeongin could even say everything felt like he was starring on his own movie. Except everything was real.
As the ending scene came on, where Minho had to grab Yeeun’s hand and hold it—Jeongin knew, everything was because of him. Hyunjin interfered, cutting the two off by yanking Yeeun’s hand away. And Hyunjin’s “I got this”, echoed in his head. Jeongin was proud of him.
But would Jeongin be considered the antagonist to his own love story when he felt his heart shattering onto the cold stoned floor of the rooftop, his breath hitching as his teary eye looked down on the role given to him on the paper.
Wingman. That was Jeongin’s role on their film.
And also his role on Hyunjin’s love story.