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The bathroom tile was cool beneath her feet as Lily paced back and forth the small room, staring at the white stick that was resting next to the sink. Three minutes. She had to wait three minutes for the results to appear. One line if it’s negative and two…
She let out a breath and continued to pace. What would she do if it were positive? There was a war going on after all, one that both she and James had sworn to fight against, going as far as joining the Order of the Phoenix. They had both postponed their dreams of having a family until all this had blown over, until they felt safe enough to bring a child into the world. And now…
The sound of the clock ticking brought her back to reality, and she looked up to see the last few seconds slip away before she would have to face the truth. With a shaky hand, she grabbed hold of the stick and watched the results appear.
Two red lines.
A shuddered breath escaped her lips as she sat down heavily on the side of the tub. Positive. She was pregnant. A wave of emotions rolled through her all at once; fear, anxiety, doubt…excitement…joy…
She always wanted children. Always imagined having a family, even when she was a little girl. And after falling in love with James, she had wanted it even more. He would be a brilliant father. She knew he would after watching the way he took care of his friends and always made sure they felt loved and protected. The same way he always made her feel loved and protected.
As if the mere thought of James was enough to summon him, Lily heard the rustling of their floo, letting her know that he had returned home from his mission with Sirius. She put the pregnancy test back onto the counter and rushed down the stairs to meet him.
He was brushing soot from his unruly hair and adjusting his glasses that must’ve gotten skewed during the travel when he looked up and noticed her. A smile immediately appeared on his face and Lily did her best to match it.
“You’re home.” She said, willing her voice not to crack.
“I’m home.”
James rushed forward and wrapped her in a tight hug. Lily clutched onto him, breathing in his scent and running her fingers across his back. It was always like this now, after missions. The desperate hugs and kisses filled with relief that the other was okay. The fervent love making that followed quickly after, to reinforce the idea that they were alive and in love and seemingly invincible until they weren’t anymore. Lily would like to live in those moments forever if they weren’t preceded by such a long and stressful waiting game.
“Lils,” James said against her ear, “you’re trembling. What’s the matter?”
Lily hadn’t even realized she was shaking, her anxiety from the whole day sneaking up on her. She let out a breath that came out more like a sob and she realized with a start that was actually crying. Hastily, she whipped away her tears as James stared at her with deep concern. She wanted to kiss that look off his face and fall into his arms to weep all at once.
“I—I’m just happy you’re home.”
James shook his head. “No, no that’s not it. It’s something else. Has something happened? Is your family okay?”
Lily’s heart melted at his words. James had become especially protective over Lily’s family with the war going on—even Petunia, despite how vile her sister was to him.
“No, no, they’re fine it’s…” She bit down on her bottom lip, only releasing it when James’ thumb came up to caress it gently. She looked up into his dark eyes and with a soft voice, told him the news.
“I’m pregnant.”
His eyes went wide with surprise and then, after a brief moment, a small smile tugged at his lips.
“Really?” He said breathlessly. She nodded and he hugged her close. She sank into his arms, gripping hold of him tightly and feeling completely loved. He pulled back to look into her eyes once more, a serious expression on his face.
“How are you feeling about this? There are…options, you know. If we decide not to keep it. And I will support whatever decision we come to, okay? I want you to feel supported with this.”
Lily felt her heart soar for her husband as he spoke. She was nervous and afraid for what would happen if they have a baby during this war but…looking at James, seeing that love and support shining through his eyes somehow took all those worries away. She wanted this. And she wanted this with him. They could do it.
“I want this, if you do.” She whispered, eyes filling with tears. James smiled and let out a choked laugh.
“I do. I’ve always wanted this with you, whatever time that may be.” He said and Lily smiled. He wanted this. Just as much as she did. Despite the war, despite the chaos, they both wanted this. She leaned forward and kissed him softly before pulling away to stare into his eyes once more.
“We’re going to have a baby.” She whispered.
And as James wrapped his arms around her and spun her about the room, laughing and crying, Lily had a feeling that all would be well in the end.