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Vodka is Ultra Catnip

Summary:

George took the liberty of making some vodka gummy bears for a party at Phoenix Nest. Unfortunately, he neglected to put a note on them, and now GUYS has a drunken alien on their hands.

Notes:

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In hindsight, George shouldn’t have left his vodka gummy bears in the office fridge without a note.

He had read a recipe online for vodka gummy bears. Traditionally, one took a bowlful of gummy bears and covered them in vodka. The bowl would then be sealed with plastic wrap and left in the fridge for a few days while the bears soaked up all the vodka. However, one brave soul online discovered that the process was much faster if the bowl was left out and uncovered for about a day, so that’s what George did.

The vodka gummy bears were for a party he was holding with his friends at GUYS. They had just fended off an invasion, so it was a good reason to celebrate. Sakomizu-san allowed him to host the party at GUYS HQ since George’s own home was being fumigated at the time. Seriously, how did the space moths even get there?

George wasn’t alone in preparing for the party. Mirai essentially lived at Phoenix Nest, and he was always happy to lend a hand. Ryu, Teppei, and Konomi were also helping out.

Everything was going perfectly. Or so George thought.

The gummy bears were ready, so George had put them in the fridge when he arrived. He thought that they were better enjoyed cold, so one could appreciate the juiciness. All of the other snacks were set on a fold-out table, as were drinks, paper plates, cups, and cutlery. 

The former soccer player opened the fridge door and reached for the gummy bears.

Problem: said gummy bears no longer existed.

The fridge was more or less barren since the majority of the staff had left for the weekend, so the candies had nothing obscuring them.

“Where are they.” 

George went to the table and did a quick once-over, hoping that someone had just put them out. There were chips, pretzels, a meat and cheese platter, and various desserts, but no bears. Finally, at the very end of the table, he spotted the empty bowl. All that remained of the gummy bears was a small pool of candy-infused vodka at the bottom of the bowl.

Someone had eaten George’s precious gummy bears, and it wouldn’t take long for him to find the culprit.

George heard murmuring outside, then the sound of something large flopping on the floor. Looking out into the hallway, he saw…

“Mirai?” he asked incredulously, seeing his teammate lying on the ground.

Mirai looked up woozily, a huge, inebriated smile on his face. “Hiiii George…”

Something clicked. “Were you the one that ate my vodka gummy bears?” 

“George.” Mirai chirped. “George George. I need… I need your help.”

“...Yeah?”

“There were these soft… these soft, colorful sweet things in the fridge…” Mirai babbled. “I was hungry, so I tried one. I need to go to store to get more. Ate m’all accidentally…”

“Aw, you pendejo...” George muttered, taking a deep breath. “It’s okay, you’re too drunk to go out anyway.”

He pulled Mirai upright with an ‘up you go’. Mirai managed to stand unassisted for all of five seconds before he ended up leaning against George for support. The ultra-in-human’s-clothing wrapped his arms around George in a big hug, nuzzling his cheek.

“Mirai. Amigo. What are you doing.”

Mirai just nuzzled deeper into the crook of George’s neck. “I love you George....” He slurred.

Shit.

“I love you’ll sooooo much…!” Mirai added no longer standing on his own so much as clinging to George to stay upright.

Phew.

George let go of the breath he’d been holding. He was not prepared for his alien coworker to confess his feelings for him. Thank goodness that wasn’t the case. George didn’t know how he could let Mirai down at all, much less gently…

“Get a room, you two.” Ryu snickered from behind them.

Shit again.

George mumbled some profanities in Spanish while Mirai broke the embrace and staggered over.

Ryuuu…” Mirai crooned, repeating his embrace with the pilot. “I love youuu…!”

Ryu maintained eye contact with George. “How drunk is he?”

“He ate an entire bowl of vodka gummy bears.” George deadpanned. “My vodka gummy bears.”

Mirai was now shouting his love for an approaching Teppei from across the hall. “Love you too!” the doctor quickly replied, before scurrying away to some unknown corner of the base.

The young ultra separated from Ryu and wobbled into the command room, where Konomi was setting up the last of the decorations and Marina had just arrived.

Mirai saw Marina first, calling her name happily and hugging her enthusiastically.

“I love you!” He repeated, snuggling into the embrace. “Love you so much…!”

Oh god oh shit how was Marina supposed to respond to that? She liked Mirai well enough, but it seemed a bit early for a relationship in her eyes.

Though… Marina mused. Mirai’s the type of person I wouldn’t mind spending my life with. Maybe if...

“Konamie!” Mirai cried, rushing over to hug her too and nearly tripping in the process.

Konomi looked surprised as Mirai suddenly embraced her, showering her in “I love you”s. Marina sighed. So much for that…

“I love you allll…” Mirai continued to slur, drawing the confused looks of his teammates.

“He ate all the vodka gummy bears.” George explained.

Konomi giggled as Mirai snuggled against her. "He's very cuddly when he's drunk!"

“I love you all soooooo much.” Mirai continued, spreading his arms out wide for emphasis.

“Well, we were planning to drink anyway.” Ryu laughed, putting an arm around Mirai’s shoulder. “Let’s party!”

All of a sudden, Mirai was engulfed by glittering golden light. Ryu withdrew his hand with a yelp as the light flashed brightly. Once the light show ended, a wobbling, human-sized Mebius stood in Mirai’s place.

Ignorant of the shocked looks on everyone’s faces, Mebius created a ring of light in midair. Light particles from the edges of the ring began to pool and swirl in the middle, until an image appeared.

“Mebius?” The deep, commanding voice of Zoffy spoke from the ring. “State your bus-”

“Zoffy!” Mebius blurted. “Zoffy. Zoffy-

“Mebius, what is going on?”

“Zoffy…” Mebius looked his superior dead in the eye. “Zoffy. This is important, Zoffy.”

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Mebius leaned in close, to the point where his face was millimeters away from the light screen.  “ ...I love you.”, he uttered seriously, and ended the call.

The other members of GUYS watched in bile fascination as Mebius repeated the call with every Ultra Brother, from Ultraman to Seven to Jack to Ace. Taro was busy, so he called 80, then Leo and Astra.

“Should we stop him?” Konomi asked at one point.

George was too entertained to intervene, Teppei was too busy fanboying over seeing the Ultra Brothers, and the rest of the team came to the conclusion that it was not their business.

As Mebius attempted to call Taro again, the captain of GUYS walked in on all of them. Not Sakomizu, but Serizawa. Looking stern as always, he marched over to Mebius and turned the young ultra around to face him.

“Mebius, what the hell is going on? Everyone’s confused and worried-”

“HIKARI!” Mebius squealed gleefully, only now realizing who stood before him. He wasted no time in wrapping his friend in a bear hug, lifting him off his feet a little. “Hikari, I love you! I-”

“You love me, I know.” Hikari cut in, managing to loosen Mebius’ grip just enough for him to reach solid ground. “Are you drunk or something?”

A chorus of ‘yes’s in the background.

Hikari sighed, rubbing his temple. “Mebius… what is the drinking age?”

“7,000.” Mebius replied on reflex.

Hikari nodded. “And how old are you?

“6,800!” Mebius answered proudly.

The humans in the room were in shock because a) wow, Mebius was unbelievably old, and b) wait, he’s underage? He’s too young to drink!?

Figuring it was useless to explain what Mebius had done wrong at this point, Hikari just sighed, walked to the snack table, and grabbed a pretzel. As the scientist munched, trying to forget about his forming headache, Mebius sat down on the floor.

“I love you all…” he repeated with a dreamy smile, eyes half-dimmed.

“We know, Mirai.” Marina began to pat him on the head. “You seem very intent on telling us that.”

“Oh!” Mebius’s eyes brightened up again. “That’s cause I’mma maybe fight again tomorrow?”

The ultra’s head tilted down. “And maybe die, if m’not lucky… Then you won’t know…” he continued, voice taking a sad hint.

“Aww, Mirai…” Marina bent down and hugged Mebius. “We know you love us. And we love you too!” She went gently.

Incomprehensible high pitched noises, then a little whine as Mebius began to shed tears. “T-Thangyuuu!!!” he blubbered, happy-crying.

The others had meandered over (sans Hikari, who was still helping himself to the snacks), offering their own affirmations. Everyone was so happy, so content to be there with their friends and comrades that night, that nobody really noticed Taro calling back, wondering just what the hell had happened with his student.

Mirai was so happy he could throw up. And he did, but nobody cared.