Chapter Text
She first realized it when they were hanging out in the cafeteria before school, just chatting like usual, and she felt the sudden, unexplainable urge to kiss her.
Liv had always thought Andie was pretty. Maybe it was just friendly adoration, or a little bit of envy. She’d never thought too much about it. But now it was obvious that it was neither of those things. It started so subtly, she never noticed it growing until today. When the thought crossed her mind, it startled her so much that she felt like she might faint. She quickly looked around for an escape. Fortunately, the bell rang and the girls made their way to class.
***
“Maddie, I have to tell you something.”
It had been 3 days since the realization, and Liv needed advice.
“Sure Liv, what’s up?”
“Maddie, I have a crush,” Liv gives her sister a desperate look.
“That’s all?”
“I wasn’t done.” Liv glances away, “It’s on a girl.”
A look of realization crosses Maddie’s face. “Ohh.” She smiles, “Wow, I had no idea you...”
“Yeah, me neither.” Liv laughs awkwardly.
“Now, you know the rule. Who is it?” Maddie prods.
Liv smiles, “It’s Andie.”
“Of course it is!” Maddie exclaims, “How did I not see that one coming?”
“Well, probably because I just realized it myself,” Liv explains, “I mean, I always thought she was pretty. I just didn’t know why. I even thought that maybe I was just jealous of her.” Liv laughs a little, “But nope. I was secretly attracted to her all this time.”
“That makes sense,” Maddie agrees, “And Andie’s a pretty cool person. I approve.”
“Oh Maddie, you have no idea,” Liv gushes, “She’s super smart, she’s super artsy, she’s like, incredibly hot...”
Maddie smiles at her sister. “Well I’m glad one of us is doing well in the romance department.”
***
And then, just to complicate matters, Holden arrives home from boarding school. And he’s cute.
There’s no way a girl like Andie would like a girl like Liv, but maybe she had a shot with Holden. But by the time she finally made up her mind to ask him to Prom, it was too late.
When Maddie comes home, she finds Liv on her bed, crying softly into her pillow.
“Liv what’s wrong?” Maddie asks, coming over to comfort her sister.
“Andie asked Holden to prom, “ Liv explains between sobs, “we were going to go together. As friends. But then you said I should ask Holden and I was going to, but it’s too late and now the girl I like is going with the boy I like, and,” Liv dissolves into another fit of sobs.
“You’ve got a lot going on right now. Maybe you need to take a day off to recoup.”
Liv nods.
Their mom agrees to let Liv take a Mental Health day, which comes with the agreement that they will talk about feelings.
“Alright baby, tell mama what’s up.”
“There’s just... I have a lot of feelings right now.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I’m here to listen.”
They sit in silence for a few moments before Liv begins.
“Mom, I like a girl.”
“Ah,” Kared responds knowingly.
“I just... I didn’t know I was capable of feeling that way.”
“You learned something new about yourself,” Karen explains, “You thought you had yourself figured out, and then life threw you a curveball.”
“Yeah...”
“That process is never going to end, sweetie. It’s lifelong. But you’re lucky. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. And mama’s here for you.”
“Yeah,” Liv smiles, “thanks mom.”
“Now, tell me about this girl,” Karen urges, “Anyone I know?”
“Yeah, actually,” Liv smiles, “It’s Andie.”
“Ah.” Karen doesn’t seem the least bit surprised.
“She’s just...” Liv let out a small laugh, “She’s so smart, and talented, and god she’s beautiful...” Liv knew she was blushing now, and she didn’t care.
She and her mom sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each others’ company.
“Well Livvie,” her mom asked, “what would you like to do with the rest of the day?”
“Can we go to the mall?”
“You betcha.”
***
“Hey Liv,” Maddie says as she arrives home from school, “You doing ok? People were asking about you. You never miss school.”
“Yeah, I’m doing ok,” Liv answers honestly.
“Anyway, Andie and Willow wanted to come visit you, but I said I’d check first.”
“Honestly, I don’t think I’m ready to see Andie,” Liv confesses.
“Totally get that. How about Willow?”
“Of course Willow can come over, she practically lives here.”
Maddie and Willow’s antics never fail to cheer Liv up, and she needs it today more than ever.
***
Liv has had some time to recoup and process things, but she is falling behind on her schoolwork, especially math. Turns out, after receiving the majority of her middle school education on a sound stage, she has a lot of gaps in her skills.
“Ugh, I’m going to fail!” Liv complains to Maddie the following Monday morning.
“How bad?” Willow chimes in.
“Liv’s a perfectionist,” Maddie explains, “Anything less than an A equals failure.”
“I just don’t understand this. And my day off didn’t help. Let’s face it,” Liv resigns, “I’m just not a math person.”
“You need help with math?” a voice interjects from behind her. It’s Andie, naturally. “Show me what you need.”
Liv can feel her face flushing. She hopes nobody else can tell. Of course Andie could help, she’s a math genious. It’s one of the things Liv finds so attractive about her.
“Oh, easy,” Andie shows Liv how to do the problems. “When’s the test?” she asks, “Because to put it gently, you’re gonna need a lot more help of you want to ace it.”
“That sounds great, actually,” Liv says, relieved.
“I’m free after school. We can go work at the coffee shop down the street.”
Liv nods in agreement.
“So it’s a date. I’ll see you after school,” Andie says.
So it’s a date. Liv replays those words in her head. If only...
***
Liv and Andie begin to meet twice a week for math tutoring. Liv will accept any excuse to spend time with Andie, and to be fair, she really does need the help. Sometimes Maddie joins them, but Liv likes it best when it’s just the two of them.
It doesn’t help that they’ve taken to referring to these sessions as “study dates”. Emphasis on the “study” part , Liv reminds herself, but she can’t help but think about the date part.
It’s almost always the same: The girls walk down the street to Coffee Hut. Liv orders a chai latte with almond milk, Andie orders an iced coffee, and they get a pastry to share. Liv always pays. “Since you’re helping me with math, and all,” she justifies. And it’s paying off. Even if she didn’t totally ace her last test, it was evident that she had made gains. But it’s so hard to focus on boring math when she’s around Andie.
“Let me see your study guide,” Andie says as they get situated at a quiet corner table in the back of the shop. “Let’s get through as much as we can tonight, since we’ll be on TV on Thursday. Haha...” Andie smiles, “I know it’s probably nothing special for you, but I’ve always wanted to be on TV. Even if it’s only Nimbus at Night.”
“Yeah, this will be super fun!” Liv claps her hands in excitement. She hands Andie her study guide.
“We still haven’t decided what song we’re doing,” Andie says as she reviews the paper.
“I mean, we really only have two to choose from...”
“You know, I can’t get that song you sang at Prom out of my head.”
Oh, you mean the song I wrote that reminds me that the girl I like is dating the boy I like.
“I mean, we could,” Liv says, “If that’s what Holden and Willow want...”
“Yeah. Well anyway,” Andie returns her attention to Liv’s study guide, “Let’s get going on this. I have to leave by 5. Holden’s taking me to the observatory.”
“Ooh, can’t wait to hear about it!” Liv squeals, trying to cover her disappointment. She was really doing her best to be a supportive friend, but Andie and Holden’s relationship was eating away at her on the inside. It’s never going to happen , Liv thought, I just have to push these feelings away for good.
Liv shakes her head to clear her thoughts, picks up her pencil, and dives into math, a sweet release from the storm of emotions growing inside her.