Work Text:
At a certain graduation from youth, we learned the intimate relationship of entropy.
Holding hands when night came, and crying in our car when moonlight didn’t hurt enough.
enough
You gave me scars that made me feel pretty,
Wrapped in blues, greens, and purples,
your hands on my hips.
Everything was falling apart, you coming closer, perfection you said;
Bile sitting in my throat
Shaky piano hands
Wrists you could hold in one hand
You could hold over my head
I remember how you courted me, broken glass bottles like promise rings.
You said you were gentle, because I was too young,
Carving your nails up my thighs, making fuzzy little memories.
You said I looked pretty when I cried
A graduation gift
You were right, you were gentle
Inside me, it won’t ever leave.
Choking down bundles of chaos like a trachiaphagiac, you me fractured
Narrow hips, knobby knees, ribs reaching for the ceiling
Pretty little things
Scalding shower thoughts
wishing
Wishing I could slip down the drain, out my wrists.
To see it all go.
I want to burn the promise rings from my skin,
To feel you leave me, and me with it.
Because falling apart meant falling together,
in love with the perfection of imperfection
entropy
When I met you, you were a waning little thing