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Cold. It was cold. I can remember that much. It was like the feeling you get when you forget to wear gloves on a cold winters day. But this feeling did not just linger on my finger tips, it had engulfed my entire body. The chilling feeling had me trapped, I couldn't escape it, my eyes felt heavy, the tip of my nose felt like ice, my hearing was foggy, their were screams and shouts, too loud, far too loud.
There were words sprinkled in between those shouts, but I can't remember anything, just the feeling of a hot pinch, then after sometime, cold. I can't quite remember much of what I saw, but I think I saw them, my friends, they looked scared. I was too, and I was even more afraid when I woke up in this white room, a bright white room, that smelled too much of rubbing alcohol and sterilized needles.
But I can't remember how I got here, the things that happened before were fuzzy.
Then I heard the door click, pulling me out of my thoughts, I watched as a doctor stepped into the room, making eye contact with me as I lay there.
"Good, you're awake, glad to see it." She spoke in a tone that had calmed me just a tad.
"What am I doing here, I mean-" I stopped, trying to find the right question to ask, then she smiled at me, pulling up a chair beside my bed.
"Well, Maxwell, is it?"
I nodded not bothering to tell her I preferred Max, so she continued, "you were shot in your abdomen, and since you were losing so much blood, and so quickly that is, you had to undergo an emergency surgery to get the bullet removed. We called your parents, but they were unable to make it.." She explained, I could tell she was trying to find words to quote unquote dumb it down for me, but ,it did make it seem less scary at least.
But my parents, they weren't coming, even after their own flesh and blood had been brought just mere inches away from death, or whatever, they still wouldn't show. After all, camp wasn't over, so technically, I still wasn't their problem for the remaining few weeks I had left.
"That's fine, but, when can I leave?" I asked, adjusting myself to a sitting position, the painkillers must be wearing off, cause it took everything in me to not yell out a paragraph of cuss words in that moment. The doctor must have noticed my efforts, she halfheartedly smiled at me. "After I prescribe you with some medication to help ease the pain and such, you're free to go."
I nodded again, I wasn't in the mood to talk, I felt terrible, not just physically, but also, it hurt that no one was here for me when I woke up y'know?
Like in the movies when someone breaks their arm, and the kids mom or dad, or even both are there by the kids side when they come to. I wanted that, but, you can't always get what you want right? The doctor handed me two small papers cups, one had a couple different colored pills inside, the other was filled with water. I thanked her, taking the two cups and swallowing the pills and water in one go, shortly after she left the room, and I was by myself with my thoughts again.
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An hour or so later I was being driven back to camp, since it was still early morning and both David and Gwen were busy with making sure the kids don't kill each other, Cameron Campbell was the only person who was trusted enough to pick me up. I would've been fine if the entire drive was filled with an awkward silence, but Mr.Campbell had other ideas in mind.
"So, Mason-" he started before I interrupted him, "it's Max."
"Right, anyways. You haven't, y'know, talked to the cops yet right?" the grey haired man asked me, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to give me a questioning look.
My answer was short and quick, I had no interest in talking to him, but still I was curious, "no, why?"
"Well, you see, this type of situation, would, attract a lot of negative attention towards the camp if word got out, terrible for business." I laughed, what an idiot, "what- why are you laughing?"
I debated on even answering that question, "listen, Mr.Campbell, I'm surprised that that camp still exists with all the scandals you've had, but you don't need to worry about me, I don't even remember what exactly happened."
He looked at me as if he wanted to say something else, but he decided against it, and that's how we stayed for the rest of the ride back to camp. Silent.
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The car door slammed behind me, then Campbell's. I scoffed to myself, what had I expected? A welcoming committee? A welcome back from the hospital after you got shot, banner to cover the one that read 'Camp Campbell'? I shouldn't be disappointed that no one was there to welcome me back, but I still hoped maybe I'd get at least something from David.
I watched Campbell, casually walk back to the mess hall, he paused to look back at me, "you coming kid?" I rolled my eyes pushing myself off of the car and carefully making my way back to camp.
Once back at the mess hall, I pushed open the door expecting to maybe find someone there, since it was still around breakfast time, but nothing, no one, not even that creepy fucking Quartermaster. I frowned, I wanted to shove my face into my pillow and just let it swallow me whole, Jesus, why do I feel this way? Why should I care?
But I did care, actually no, I didn't, not one bit. I stormed into the kitchen and grabbed the first edible item my eyes came in contact with before storming back out of the kitchen. I shoved the granola bar into my mouth, biting a chunk of it off, now what do I do? Campbell disappeared, he probably went upstairs, or so I assume. That's when I heard it, no doubt, it was the other campers. I stepped out of the mess hall, taking a look around, all I could see was green, green for miles, pine needles sprinkling the ground like toppings on a cake, only the dirt was the cake. Then I heard their shouts of joy again, they were having fun, without me.
That's fine, it's whatever, I don't even care.
But, they sounded so much brighter, and the laughter was far more vibrant than I'd ever heard come out of this camp before. They aren't just having fun without me, they're having even more fun now that I'm not there to put a damper on things.
Whatever.
I don't care.
The camp grounds, that's where they are, that's where the cheers are coming from. And sure enough, on that walk to the makeshift camp grounds where everyone's individual camps are, the cheers got louder, and the laughs got stronger. And my heart felt heavier and heavier as I approached, maybe my body was reacting to the painkillers in a bizarre way.
There they were, all of them, David, Gwen, Nikki, Neil, Ered, Nurf...
I took the last few bites of my granola bar and shoved the wrapper in my pocket.
Nikki and Neil were losing their shit over something, of course it was them, I knew it was Nikki's laugh, and I thought I had heard Neil's annoying voice laughing along. "God you guy's are loud" I groaned, but barely anyone batted an eye, I got a few looks from the others, Nerris nodded in agreement. I got a "Oh hey Max," from Nikki in between laughter, David looked back at me to give me a "Mornin' Max", nothing from Gwen but that wasn't unusual..
But that's the thing, these were all normal reactions I would get on any other day, but today wasn't a regular day- was it? Had me getting shot really not affected them in anyway, had I imagined all those panicked voices? Nikki's blurry face as she hovered over me, and Neil's stupid brown hair as he paced back and forth. Jesus, I know I'm an ass, but I still care- I thought they would too- No. Fuck that, obviously they don't so why make a big deal out of it.
"Max, a-are you okay?" Neil asked, pulling me out of my thoughts, "what the fuck kind of question is that?" I retorted, took them long enou-
"Well you're kinda crying so.." Nikki added, joining the conversation.
I put a hand up to my face, and sure enough, my cheeks were damp, shit. I swiftly wiped the tears off of my face and came up with a dumb excuse, "nope, allergies." Really Max?
That's when David joined in, "well are you sure Max? If you need to talk you can always talk to me." He told me in that chipper tone of his, all I could think of saying was a simple fuck off, David.
But even I couldn't help but notice the shaky-ness of my voice, my lip was trembling, I know it was. My demeanor caused me to receive a lot of unwanted attention at this moment, most of the campers had stopped what they were doing to look at me.
David looked hurt, concerned even, hah, where was that concern when I was at the hospital earlier? But then he spoke again, "Max, talk to me, what's wrong?" I stared at the ground avoiding his gaze, before I couldn't handle the whispers anymore, "Jesus Christ, David! You want to know whats wrong? I just got back from the hospital, where the doctor lady told me, I was fucking shot! How? I don't know!" My crowd of campers I had gathered by my unwanted outburst, all looked to each other in concern, or confusion.
"And wanna know the best part? My parents claimed 'they couldn't make it,' so I had no one there when I woke up! I-I-I don't fucking know what happened, I got hurt! A-And I'm confused? ANd scared even? C-cause none of y-you guys here seem to act like anything happened, or may-be n-none of you care, so you're doing it on p-purpose!?" I cried, I didn't want to cry, but the tears flowed out of me like a waterfall of emotions, I just wanted a hug, someone to hold me and tell me it's okay.
"Max.. I-" David spoke, he seemed sympathetic, but I cut him off, "no, f-f-fuck that! I'm leaving, d-don't give me your s-shitty sympathy." I struggled to calm myself down as I stormed off. I could hear the explosion of chatters as I left, and David's yells for me to come back.
"MAX!" he yelled, then again.
"Max!!" and again.
They grew more distant as I walked further.
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"Max!" it was more of a whisper now...
I shot up, I was back in the hospital bed, David was sitting there right beside my bed.
"You were crying.. bad dream?" He asked me, I looked at him, then around the room for a moment, confused, Nikki sat on my other side sleeping with her arms crossed under her head that were placed on top of Neil's sleeping body, they were both here?
Then, looking down to my lap I watched my tears fall onto the hospital blanket. "Max..?" David spoke again in a hushed whisper, I looked at him again.
I burst out into tears and enveloped him in a hug, I cried like there's no tomorrow. He shushed me, rubbing my back and comforting me to the best of his ability.
I guess sometimes, you do get what you want.