Work Text:
once upon A time, in amesutorisu, there lived a Dog, named Alexander. Alexander was a handsome Yellow Lab, who was 1/16th Newfoundland on his mother's side, With big brown eyes and a cold wet nose And shiny golden fur, and his butt smelled AMAZING. Alexander lived with his Little human girl nina and nina's father who was Also a human, and they played Fetch and Tug and went for Walkies every day and let him sleep on The couch and eat table scraps and never yelled at him For rolling in dead things or chewing on delicious shoes. they were all very Very happy.
one day nina's father did a bad Bad thing. he was An alchemist and he did alchemy stuff, that fused Alexander and his little girl into A single creature! Alexander was sad because, now his sense Of smell was not as good any more, and he did not have a little girl To scritch the itchy spots on his tummy that he could not Reach and feed him table scraps. but then his Other human friend ed-kun arrived and he was all happy Again, because ed had a metal hand which kind of smelled funny even to his human Nose but was really really good for scritches! yay!
'ed-kun i am So happy to see you!!" said Alexander because he could talk Now that he had nina's face instead of a dog face. ed-kun looked startled because he Did not recognize Alexander with his new human face so Alexander said helpfully 'it's me Alexander, the Dog! nina's father alchemied us together like this which is why I look funny and, can talk Now'. "oh no that is sad', said ed-Kun in a sad voice. "don't be sad ed-kun.' said Alexander. 'it sucks that i only have, A pathetic human sense of smell now but i am happy that I can talk. because Now i can finally tell you that i Love you!" he wagged hopefully. 'oh Alexander!" the human boy said "i have always wanted To hear, those words from you. i love you too!'
and so they went for Walkies together in the moonlight And it was very very romantic. and it was totally, NOT BESTIALITY, because Alexander could talk and they were not doing any Gross sex stuff anyway because their love was The pure love of a Dog and his boy and you people are DISGUSTING PERVERTS if you think it is some kind of hentai sex thing. you should be ashamed Of yourselves. anyway poor Alexander Had been n**t*r*d because nina's Mean dad was, really mean, and racist about leg-Humping.
'I am going To take you away, from all this my darling.' said ed-kun As they came home after, their romantic moonlight walk. "nina's dad does Not deserve to have a Dog." he made A frowny face. "i will tell him that 'nina's dad you, Do not deserve to have a Dog' and then we will leave And be together forever." "forever?' said Alexander? "FOREVER! HA HA HA HA HA!" laughed nina's dad jumping out from Behind the door as he laughed An evil laugh. "oh no!" said ed-kun "oh no!' said Alexander. "OH YES!' said nina's dad and he laughed his Evil laugh some more "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!" and then he did More alchemy stuff and fused Alexander and ed-kun together! it was horrible And sad.
'I am sad now" wept Alexander, tears rolling Down his face like Soggy tennis balls. "ha Ha ha!!! laughed nina's dad as Alexander cried. 'just be glad We are, in brotherhood instead Of the original anime, it sucks!!! also I am an evil bee." and he Twirled his evil antennas in a evil way as he laughed some more at Alexander's mournful howls of pain. 'and Tomorrow i am going to take you to...THE VET!!!!!!'
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Alexander howled Sadly to the pitiless world, but noone was there to hear But the evil red-Eyed beeman.
