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Roman choked back tears as he was curled up on the ground. He felt his mind doing flips and his thoughts piling up and going back and forth so much that he couldn’t concentrate on a single one. He felt the hot tears burn his cheeks and he was struggling to catch his breath.
Living all alone and having to do this social distancing was having him live on the verge of a mental breakdown every single day. And the breaking point finally had come.
He hadn’t been able to work on any of his personal projects for weeks. His responsibilities were taking so much of his time. This quarantine showed up out of nowhere and Roman had no time to adapt. He wasn’t good at adapting anyways.
He was terrible at time management in general, but the stress that piled up only made it worse. It took him longer to finish writing down the lessons his professors sent in. It took him longer to do the assignments he got.
It took him longer to catch his breath.
It took him longer to find the strength to wipe away his tears.
When he finally managed, he got up and looked at his clock.
01:38 AM.
“Jay’s probably asleep...” He mumbled to himself in defeat, as he finally stood to his feet.
Living all alone and being isolated stressed Roman out so much, but it had him thinking about the future a lot. Although in the past, the future scared him.
He was thinking how when this whole thing blew over he’d ask Jay to move in with him. The thought of the two living together. It was very comforting and Roman dwelled on it while he went to make himself some hot chocolate. Comfort drink.
As he walked into the kitchen, thoughts of Jay’s delicate features made his heart feel soft. As he poured a cup of water - thoughts of how Jay and Roman would often talk about adopting a pet.
As he put the cup into the microwave to heat it up - thoughts of how they’d all sleep together - the two of them and their cuddly pet.
As Roman waited to hear that ever familiar sound of the microwave, he daydreamed further. They left warm sensations all over his body. It felt like he had his warm hands wrapped around his boyfriend's frame. The fantasies he was having felt so real that it genuinely broke his heart when an all too familiar beep snapped him out of it and made him aware of reality once more. Made him aware of how time passed so slowly and how the ticking clocks drove him up the wall.
He turned his head to the microwave and took out the cup, being careful not to spill it over his manly pecs. He put in chocolate powder and stirred it with a spoon. As he was fixated on stirring with the spoon, his thoughts wandered to times he’d go to sleep over at Jay’s place and how he’d insist on being the big spoon, even though he was the smaller one. He liked having his arms wrapped around his boyfriend protectively every night they slept together. He hoped that after this whole thing blew over he’d never have to spend a night without having Jay by his side to cuddle and protect.
As he finished stirring and finally could enjoy his comfort beverage, Roman felt like he didn’t need it anymore. But he was still gonna drink it. He loved this shit.
He pulled out his phone from his pyjama’s pocket and left a text message for his boyfriend to look at in the morning.
‘I hope your dreams were calm, my boopy snake. I love you dearly and hope to meet you again soon.’
As he texted, he drank the hot chocolate and smiled letting himself slip into yet another daydream.