Chapter Text
Emilie knew from the beginning that her relationship with Robert Carlyle was fated to end at some point and she thought she was ready to face its conclusion pretty well when it come. Surprised she felt when she found herself crying as if the world was ending when Robert passed to talk to her just before he flew back to Scotland for the hiatus before season four, ending things between them.
"It'll be for the best, Em," he said with the most fake smile on his face. "We can't keep things like this. Someone will definitely end up hurt."
Emilie didn't want him to see her crying, she wanted him to think she was strong, but she could not stop the tears falling through her cheeks. That seemed to make him start to panic, not knowing what to do, which brought a little satisfaction to her. Both of them knew that, if he tried anything intimate — even a simple hug —, they would end up postponing this conversation again and it would not make it easier.
"You'll be able to go find another person," he tried reasoning again, putting his hands on her shoulders in a painful friendly gesture. "Someone young and available, someone who will treat you as you truly deserve."
Emilie wanted to tell him that she would not, because she didn't want a younger and available guy, she wanted him! Actually, she was just to yell this when she thought better: he was trying to do the right thing for everyone — included her — and she would not make it more difficult to her beloved, they both knew they didn't need this.
So, she made an effort to stop crying and assure him that she would be fine, that she just needed time to assimilate what just happened. It took a while, but he finally left her alone half an hour after, saying that she should call one of her friends to be with her on that tough moment.
Both of them knew she couldn't do that, however, because none of her friends knew about their relationship and calling them would end with them making a lot of questions Emilie could not answer honestly and would make her feel even worst. But it was okay, because she could handle with that by herself, she was a grown woman, after all.
Which, of course, led her to wake up dizzy and with a stabbing pain in her head, without any memory of what happened after she started to drink at the night before. It was not the greatest idea she ever had, definitely.
Emilie took a flight to California not many days after that to start shooting her new movie. She still was not feeling that great, but she get herself sober during the flight and most of the next weeks, which had to be a progress.
The shooting took around two months and she met a lot of new people on them. She stopped drinking after a while, because she had a lot of work to do and wanted to make this right to show Robert that she could handle with the end of their relationship. Despite that, she couldn't bring herself to stop thinking about Robert, because, if there were such a thing as true love, he was hers. She was sure of that and that was the most excruciating thing about what happened.
Although she had stopped drinking, Emilie kept feeling strangely unwell most of the time and she blamed the fact that she didn't have time yet to rest after filming Once Upon a Time's season three. But, despite the knowledge that her body needed sometime for recover, she was afraid of what some time resting would do with her mind, that refused to stop thinking about the only man she truly loved.
So, when the shoots finally ended, she agreed to date the director of her new movie, Eric Bilitch, who had shown some interest on her since the beginning and also had to go to Los Angeles. It was more to have something to do and someone to talk than anything else, but still seemed to be a good idea.
That was definitely the worst idea she could have had. Their date started disastrous. He tried to talk to her about baseball while she tried to hide from him both her complete disinterest on the subject and the nausea his cologne was making her feel. When the food arrived, however, she could not take anymore and had to run to the bathroom to empty her stomach from anything that had made it uneasy.
She sat for a while in the bathroom, deciding if it would be a good idea telling to Eric that she was not feeling well and calling off the date. But the alternative was going back to her house and passing the night feeling sorry about herself, so she thought it would be better to keep trying to distract her mind with this date — as disastrous as it was. It took a while for her to regain the control over her stomach, but, after some time, she started to feel lots better and went back to her place, where Eric seemed a little worried about her.
She assured him that she was well and he smiled to her. He stopped talking about baseball and they had a lot of fun talking about the movie they just shot and considering if it would worth any award. Emilie doubted it, but she didn't tell Eric that; after all, she was the main actress and had to have some faith on the movie she just filmed.
They had fun, but his cologne still made her stomach feel uneasy and he still seemed as someone with too plain tastes. It was new and strange, but maybe she could get used to it and grow to love Eric. Maybe she didn't need true love.
On the next two weeks, she tried hard to not think about Robert and focus on her new relationship, but she couldn't help but dreaming with him. It was not that Eric was not a great guy, but what she had with Robert was something unique and awesome she was not ready to forget.
Emilie was also growing worried about her sickness. The nausea that appeared from nowhere and ended short after she throwing up and the constant tiredness that made her feel as if standing was the most difficult task in the world. She thought about seeing a doctor, but kept postponing that feeling that it could be just stress.
After two weeks of break and not long before she had to take a flight to Paris for an Once Upon a Time event, she started to think that she was not going to get better resting and decided to see a doctor, just in case.
She went two days before going to Paris and had to go alone because everyone she knew was working. It didn't seem to be a problem at the time, she was always doing things alone since she moved from Australia. The doctor, however, seemed worried when she told him what she was feeling and made her do a blood test, which made her nervous. It was then that she started to think that she should have brought someone with her.
It took almost three hours after doing the test to be again in the presence of her doctor, who was holding the results of the tests. Three hours trying to calm herself down while the growing fear tried to fill her completely. The doctor read the results, passing slowly the pages, and Emilie tried not to hurry him. So, suddenly, he raised his eyes to face hers and she saw he was trying to say something hard for her.
"Miss de Ravin," he said, slowly and seriously. "You are pregnant."
Emilie gulped, completely shocked. No, no, no, no, no! It couldn't be! She couldn't be pregnant, she was careful about this, she was absolutely sure it was just a terrible mistake. Or a joke, a not really funny joke.
But, for another hand, it did make sense. She was not feeling well, the sickness that came and went and the extreme tiredness were, after all, very common signs of pregnancy. She was also experimenting some minimal changes in her taste of food. And, at last, she had definitely gained some weight .
Emilie tried to remember when was the last time her period had come. She couldn't remember, but it had been a while since the last time.
"Oh," she said finally, trying not to let her insecurity shows. "How long?"
It was the most important question, because that would answer who was the father. She didn't even know what would be the worst option: the guy who she thought loved her, but she couldn't love, or the guy she did love, but with whom she couldn't be.
"Thirteen weeks," the doctor answered.
Well, that definitely answered the question about her baby's parentage. Shit! Robert wouldn't be happy!