Chapter Text
Her life seemed to move in phases. For a long time she was trapped, traumatized by others until the light from her eyes faded and darkness swallowed her whole. After sometime of remaining stagnant, she was forced to go on the run, fleeing for her life with someone at her side. But all that remained of him now was the sound of his voice ringing in her ears and the scent of his cologne and cigarettes lingering in her nostrils. It had been years now, over a decade but she would always remember that much.
In her life, she had lost almost everything including her family, her sight, her innocence, and Him. Now that her sight had returned, she found herself chasing after him in any way possible. She didn’t know his name or even what he looked like. She had felt his face and knew he had an eyepatch, sharp cheekbones, and a scruffy chin. She also had a rough idea of his height from the shadow she saw that night in the Empty Lot. Now, for the first time in her life, she was moving towards something.
She felt foolish, however, standing in the department store and opening bottle after bottle of men’s cologne. She would smell it, scowl, and put it back, dissatisfied with every single one.
“Ma’am?” An employee asked nervously, causing Makoto to jump. She winced as a dull ache ran through the scar on her side.
“Can I help you find anything?” She asked, nearly glaring at Makoto.
It dawned on a Makoto how suspicious she probably seemed and she felt her heart rate increase, something she’d become accustomed to under the slightest bit of stress. She found herself fumbling with her sleeve and nodding a bit. “You see, my husband sent me out to buy his cologne but I can never remember what he wears,” she lied, laughing nervously. Either the employee didn’t catch her lie or she just didn’t care.
“Try spraying a bit on one of those cards. The scent is different when it’s dispersed compared to when it’s sitting in the bottle,” she said dryly. She purses her lips and turned away to help other customers.
“Right... I see. Thank you,” Makoto said. She grabbed a few cards and got to work, sniffing cologne until her head ached. Still no luck. Defeated, she began her trek home.
She kept her eyes forward as she walked, still happy to take in the sights around her each day. At times it was overstimulating and she found herself seeking the solace of the dark. As she made her way down the footpath, she closed her eyes for a moment and that’s when it happened. The familiar scent of a particular cigarette smoke wafted through the area. Her eyes snapped open and she looked around and saw a man smoking a cigarette.
Yes! This was definitely the one! “Excuse me?” She asked, earning a disinterested look from the young man. “Can I get one off of you? A cigarette,” She asked.
He arched an eyebrow at her; she realized she didn’t look like the type to smoke. He stared a moment longer before sighing and producing the pack from his pocket. The package was white with gray dots all over and gold dots that formed a seven. Bold black lettering introduced the brand as “Seven Stars.” She made a mental note of it as the man lit the cigarette and handed it to her.
She held it carefully between her index- and middle-fingers, palm upturned like she had seen others do. “Thank you,” she said with a small smile before taking a drag. Smoke filled her lungs and made them feel almost tight, causing her to exhale quickly as she tried not to cough.
“Yeah. Don’t mention it,” the man said before walking away. She sighed and sat on a bench that overlooked the waterway. She closed her eyes and allowed the smoke to flow around her, wrapping her in a comforting embrace, as she breathed it in secondhand. She listened to the flow of the water, the chatter of others on Iwao Bridge and the footpath; smoke and the smell of fried foods assaulted her senses and for a few moments, she felt at peace.
She felt her worries ease and, ironically enough, she felt calmer than ever as she recalled the short time spent with that man. She sighed and slowly opened her eyes, readjusting to the neon lights that still stung her eyes at times. The cigarette had burned down quite a bit and a long clump of ashes was barely clinging to what was left of it. She stood and snubbed in the ashtray beside her, feeling much less hopeless. She would find him, she resolved.
~~~
“Makoto...have you taken up smoking?” It had been about half a year since she had figured out the brand of cigarettes. The doctor asked her, concern etched on his face. Why did it matter to him? She was grateful for all Tateyama had done for her but things had grown a bit awkward between them over the years when she established her intentions to be nothing more than friends.
“Not exactly,” she said. He looked at her skeptically; her clothes definitely held a faint smell of smoke now.
“Then...?” He began, probably wondering if she was seeing someone. She shook her head.
“I just let it burn. It reminds me of Him,” she said, absentmindedly rubbing her fingers over her blue watch band, a replacement that didn’t quite suit it but it worked well enough.
“That still isn’t good for you,” he said sternly. She knew she was about to get a lecture on secondhand smoke so she glared a bit, managing to summon a small fraction of the woman who had asked for the heads of yakuza lieutenants all those years ago.
“I have to find him, Tateyama. I asked you here because I don’t know who else to turn to,” she said desperately. “I need more information about that time but I’m not sure where to find it...”
She had searched store after store in Sotenbori for the cologne with no luck at all. She watched the doctor sigh and run a hand through his dark hair. “Go to Kamurocho...Talk to Kiryu-san, the other man that helped save you. He can help you find him. Though...I really don’t think you should. It’s far too dangerous. Do I need to remind you that he originally intended to kill you?”
“But he didn’t,” she snapped before looking somewhat remorseful.
She knew what he was essentially saying. He was asking her to live a normal life and to stop chasing ghosts of years ago. She couldn’t do that. She had not known normal for a very long time and the Empty Lot incident had only further twisted her mind. She wasn’t always bright and cheery, happy and innocent. She had her fair share of darkness and suffering but Tateyama couldn’t understand. He never would and that wasn’t his fault.
After he left her apartment, she lit another cigarette and placed in the ashtray she’d bought at Don Qioute. She breathed in the smoke slowly and looked at her phone. Kiryu had given her his contact information when they’d parted ways so many years ago but she had never used it. After gathering every ounce of courage she had, and praying the information was the same, she hit the ‘call’ button and raised the phone to her ear.
It was a short, relatively one-sided conversation but she had managed to convince him to let her stay with him for a short time.
The next morning she was lugging a small suitcase to a taxi and after a while, she found herself in Kamurocho. Staring up at Millennium Tower which was built on the ground soaked in her brother’s blood, her chest ached.
She saw a familiar flash of snakeskin over a bare chest in the distance but paid it no mind. There was no way someone so garish could ever be the person she was looking for but she felt familiarity from the predator-like clothing nonetheless.
~~~
They had been walking around for a bit when Kiryu looked down at her. “Are you okay? This place is...difficult for me too. Haruka as well,” He admitted. They had just finished shopping and were now walking past the tower.
As they chatted and swapped stories, they made their way through various stores. With some effort, she had found the cologne, discovering it was not sold in Sotenbori at all. She held the bag to her chest and nodded, assuring him she was okay. “Yes. Thank you. I’ll be alright.”
And she would be. She was one step closer to finding that man and that made her incredibly happy. In her short time in Kamurocho, she learned that a lot had changed. There were a lot more businesses, the tower had been built and destroyed somewhat and rebuilt, and Kiryu had an adorable daughter now. Well...she was his adoptive daughter but she could tell that hardly mattered to either of them. But there was something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It felt like something was being hidden from her.
The two were walking along, idly chatting when a high voice rang out from behind them, stopping them both in their tracks.
“Kiryu-chan~” the voice sang and then moved closer so it was right behind them.
“Majima-no-nii-san,” Kiryu responded slowly, “Now is not a good time...”
“Haw? Are ya on a date?” The thick and almost cartoony voice asked, a little too close to their ears for comfort.
Kiryu had gone completely stiff and Makoto nearly dropped the bag. The smell...the voice, albeit somewhat more crazed... She turned slowly and her eyes widened. She knew this man from before but he hadn’t spoken at that time when he punched out a few goons for her.
His own eye was wide with something akin to fear; his pupil practically swallowed his iris.
“You...” she whispered, reaching out her shaking hand slowly. “You’re...him.”
“I dunno what yer on about,” he said hurriedly, trying to play stupid but he knew better. She was smart and Kiryu’s glare was sharp enough to kill someone.
“Let’s talk somewhere else,” Kiryu proposed and Makoto nodded. “You owe her that much, nii-san.”
“Don’tchu be stickin’ your nose where it ain’t wanted,” the man warned Kiryu dangerously. But Kiryu wasn’t backing down either.
“Just a chat,” Makoto whispered. Her eyes were pleading and before the man apparently named Majima could escape, Kiryu gripped his wrist tightly. They soon found themselves to the side of theater square.
Makoto fiddled with her sleeve and Majima shifted his weight from foot-to-foot, sun glinting off the metal on his boots as he moved. Awkward. Totally awkward. And to make things worse, Kiryu has run off in pursuit of drinks, supposedly.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Makoto breathed at last. Her throat felt tight and her voice strained. “For years. So many years...Everyone thinks I’m crazy at this point. I’ve spent years hunting down any trace of you...Your cigarettes. Your cologne.”
“Ya really shouldn’t be lookin’ if ya know what’s good. Maybe ya are a little crazy,” he said quietly. He wanted to push her away but he just couldn’t. She shook her head a bit, eyes burning with determination.
“No. I don’t care. I’ve...always wanted to thank you. But I’ve never even known your name,” she whispered.
“Goro Majima. Yer welcome. Now get outta dodge. It’s too dangerous here,” he said in an attempt to brush her off but she only stepped closer.
“No,” she said stubbornly. “I don’t care. Look at me,” she said, voice a bit more firm. And he did. His eye met hers and she felt her heart skip a beat. His fashion sense was awful and his haircut was questionable but this was him...
“If you actually want me to leave, look me in the eyes and tell me that...” Her voice was pleading and her shoulders shook a bit. The old scar on her torso stung a bit, a reminder of their time together.
She watched him flounder as a variety of emotions cross his face.
He wanted to yell as her to leave; kick dirt at her like folks would do at strays. But Makoto wasn’t a stray...But maybe he was.
“Yer not neon’ fair here,” he complained, running his hand across the shaved part of the back of his head.
“And disappearing for over a decade without so much as a name is fair?” She countered. Her lip was trembling a bit. “Please I just...”
“Don’t,” he pleaded, brow furrowed.
“I want to get to know you and be friends. I want to pay you back for saving me and for this.” She held up her arm to show the watch. The band was new but his expression blew away any doubts she might have had.
He exhaled and shifted uncomfortably. Where was that damn Kiryu with some coffee? The dark orbs staring back at him where inescapable. Finally, he nodded in defeat.
“Fine. But ya gotta stay away unless we have a safe place to meet. I can’t have ya gettin’ hurt just ‘cuz yer around me,” he told her.
Her eyes lit up and she nodded vigorously, wiping tears from her eyes before they could fall. She was happy. So very happy!
And she was almost positive Kiryu has abandoned them. She would need to thank him later.