Work Text:
it’s late into the night when shirou’s ears pick up the muffled sound of sobs through the walls.
at first, he tries to ignore it -- it surely has to pass quickly, nothing more than a late-night stress release after the day’s events -- yet when he glances at the clock on the wall and realizes it’s been going on for nearly half an hour straight, it’s immediately apparent that this is much more than just that.
shirou wonders briefly why he cares in the first place. he knows instantly that the tanuki girl is the one who fills the still night air with her sadness, and for this reason alone he hesitates leaving his bed. she is not his child, crying in the night and waiting for his comfort; she can, usually, take care of herself, whether he’s there or not. yet in their short time together she’s grown on him, her demeanor and smiles worming their way into his heart -- she had a personality that was nearly impossible to resist. shirou has heard michiru scream, yell, laugh -- yet the sound of her heartbroken sobs is unfamiliar to him, and before he knows it, with each moment he waits, they’re tugging aggressively on his heartstrings. ugh.
shirou gives a drowsy kuro a reassuring pat -- i’ll be back in a bit, i’ll make sure she’s alright -- before he tosses on his shirt and makes his way down the hall. as he approaches her door, he knocks gently, once, twice; yet michiru doesn’t seem to hear him over her own noises. he tries again before a sigh escapes his lips and he opens the door himself. he settles on leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed; he can hardly bear to see michiru like this, face-down on her bed with a pillow hugged to her face and chest.
it’s difficult -- shirou’s never considered himself very good with other people’s emotions. he is blunt, and for this his past attempts at comfort usually ended up making things worse. yet for some reason, for this child, he finds himself wanting to try. after the hell she’s been through, she deserves that much. “your throat is going to give out if you keep that up, you know.”
the sound of his voice causes michiru’s voice to hiccup and catch within her throat, ears and tail shooting straight up as she rolls towards the wall to see him. the normal brown of her cheeks are now wet and red, a sight that makes his heart ache once more.
“shirou!” she squeaks. “where did -- how long have you been there?”
“only a few moments,” shirou responds with a shrug, “yet you’ve kept me up with that crying for much longer.”
the tanuki looks almost ashamed of being caught like this, even more so for allowing herself to be heard. gently pushing herself up to a sitting position on her bed, she refuses to meet his softening gaze. “i’m sorry. i’ll stop, i promise.”
shirou watches her momentarily as his arms fall to his side with a soft huff. he enters, closing the door behind him, before he makes his way over and crouches so he can sit with her. michiru stares at him like he’s crazy, as he expected, but he doesn’t let it deter him.
“tell me what happened.” it comes out more demanding than he initially intended, and he swallows quickly. “you can...talk to me, tanuki.”
“raccoon,” michiru pouts under her breath and hugs the pillow closer to her body. shirou offers her a brief chuckle as he gently tugs some of the blanket off of her and onto his own lap. “it’s nothing, really, i’m just…”
“it’s something if it’s got you this worked up,” the wolf interjects, eyebrows raising as his head tilts ever so slightly. “it has to do with that cult, doesn’t it?”
she glances away from him, yet from the way her lower lip quivers, he’s hit the right chord. he knew from the moment michiru temporarily evicted herself for that girl, nazuna, that it wouldn’t end well. maybe he should have tried harder to stop michiru -- he knew that the cult’s guru was too selfish to be trusted. yet what’s done is done, and he is not her father; he had no right to try to stop her, anyway.
“i was so happy,” michiru eventually mumbles, and shirou lets out a small hm as he’s pulled from his thoughts and lingers his gaze on her once more. “i found my best friend again! she was alive, here, and we could be together...try to figure out our lives, or a cure...but it’s like she’s an entirely different person now.”
her voice is strained, as though she’s struggling to get it out. whether it’s her pain or her awkwardness when it comes to confiding in him, he can’t tell; he turns towards her anyway, to at least let her know he’s listening. “she said so many things about the cult, about me, and...it’s so different. i don’t like it.”
“it’s all so much,” the tanuki’s ears droop with each passing moment -- it’s almost as though shirou can see the thoughts bouncing around in her head. “my life is taken from me by this disease, and now my best friend isn’t the same -- i-i can’t help but think, why?”
michiru’s claws dig into her pillow as her shoulders begin to tremble. as hard as she tries to keep the tears from falling again, she is unsuccessful; in a matter of moments she’s crying again while she bites her lip. her voice is no more than a whisper, almost carried away entirely by the gentle breeze that comes in through her open window. “why me?”
shirou watches her tremble and sob as his heart tightens within his chest; oh, what power this strange, sad girl had over him. were it anyone else, he would tell them to get over it and move on...but for her, before he can even process what he’s done, his arms reach out to gently pull michiru in towards his chest. he’s already in it now, he knows he can’t pull away; in fact, he’s waiting for her to shove him away or tear herself from his arms --
-- but it never comes. instead, her pillow is tossed aside as shirou becomes its replacement; she wraps her arms tightly around his chest and buries her face into him, her once quiet tears erupting into unrestrained sobs. he stiffens instinctively before he wills himself to relax. a free hand hesitates before it moves up to rub her back as he rests his chin on top of her fluffy head.
he is not her father, no; but she deserves a semblance of one, someone to comfort her when it gets out of hand. he promised he’d protect her, and to see her hurting emotionally pained him as much as seeing her hurting physically.
“relax, michiru,” shirou murmurs. he can tell she’s got so much more on her little shoulders, yet he won’t pry any further; no, she can confide only as much as she wants to him. there are some things he can’t fix. “hm...tell you what. there’s an ice cream place not far from here. if you sleep, we might wake up in time to get there before they close.”
“really, ice cream? what am i, five?” michiru asks with a pout, followed by a rather unceremonious sniffle -- he’ll scold her for getting snot on his shirt later. he pulls away just enough so he can see her face and offers her a rare smile, eyebrows raised with amusement. he can see the surprise gloss over her face as they meet eyes.
“as far as i’m aware, ice cream fixes any problem.” a hum as he leans his head back to try to read her alarm clock upside-down. “the offer still stands. it’s nearly 3 now…”
“i get it, you want to go to bed.” michiru laughs softly. it heartens shirou to see her slowly recovering from her fit -- he’s good with his fists, not his words, but he’s glad to see he did something right for her nonetheless. there’s a moment as he tries to let go of her and push himself off of the bed, but the child stops him as he does. “stay for a little bit longer? ...please?”
“fine.” she’s always been pretty persuasive in the long run, so shirou obliges her request, laying himself down so michiru can crawl up onto his chest. the unspoken affection feels foreign to him, yet it’s welcomed; not that he’d ever admit it out loud, of course. he’s got a reputation to uphold, and he’s not going to let some silly tanuki ruin it...in public, anyway.
before shirou knows it, michiru has cried herself out and fallen asleep on his chest, and he watches her momentarily before he allows his own head to fall back onto the bed. she was hard-headed and stubborn, yet precious in her own way. as much as he hated to admit it, it was difficult not to get attached.
and for once, despite all of his conflicting thoughts, shirou gets a good night’s rest.