Work Text:
Kara notices the folded piece of paper sticking out of her notebook, curiosity only growing when she pulls it out and finds her name written on it.
The moment she opens it, she recognises the looping handwriting of her best friend, wonders what reason Lena could have for slipping her a note instead of just giving it to her herself.
She knows why, the instant she starts reading.
Kara,
I’m writing this letter because my therapist told me it would be a good idea if I wrote my feelings down instead of keeping them all locked inside. I almost didn’t do it, I almost ignored her, but I think she’s right, I’m trying to be more open and honest, at least with myself, and this will be a good way to at least sort my feelings out because they’re a tangled mess.
I don’t even know where to begin, and it’s not like you’re ever going to see this, but it still scares me to write it down. I think it makes it more real? Means I can’t hide from it anymore.
My therapist says I’m very good at hidings from my feelings.
I haven’t told you that I’m even in therapy, I’m not sure why, I think because it makes me feel like I’ve failed somehow, even though I know you’ll be proud that I’m going. Maybe I will tell you, because I know you’ll smile and give me a hug.
I love your hugs.
Anyway, this isn’t about my therapy, this is about you, even though I only even considered going to therapy in the first place because you suggested it may help. This is about you and how you changed my entire life the moment you stepped into it.
I had plans, for my life, for my company, and all of that changed when I met you. I mean I didn’t know it at the time, not at the very beginning, what you being in my life meant, but I’m so grateful for that day you walked into my office.
It didn’t take long, for me to see how special you are. That first meeting, when you didn’t treat me like my family, I knew you were different.
And then we became friends, you kept coming back, you wormed your way into my heart without me even noticing and next thing I knew, I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. You are so wonderful, how could I not fall for you? You’re so kind and strong and absolutely beautiful and for some reason I still can’t quite figure out, you wanted to be my friend too.
You make me feel like I can do anything when I’m by your side. You make me feel like the world isn’t quite as scary as I thought it was, like I don’t have to tackle it alone anymore. You make me wants things I can’t have.
Before you, all I saw in my future was work, was my company, but now I want more than that. I want someone to come home to every night, I want late nights curled in front of the TV, talking about stupid things. I want dinners together, where I can hold someone’s hand as we walk home together, I want slow morning kisses where nothing else matters but the moment.
I want a family, a home, someone always there for me and someone I can be there for. I want a couple of kids, a dog, and marriage. I want a life together with someone, where I can love them and be completely loved in return.
And I want that someone to be you.
I know I said I wasn’t going to show you this but I think I might, because my therapist also thinks I should tell you how I feel and giving you this to read sounds so much less scary than actually having to say it out loud.
I’ll slip it to you, hide it in your bag or pocket or something, that way, if you don’t feel the same, you can just pretend not to have seen it, and I can pretend that it got lost and we never have to talk about it. Which my therapist would say is unhealthy but baby steps, right?
So, one last time, before I go and potentially burn this letter.
I love you, because I don’t think I’ve properly said it yet. I love you with all my heart and I always will. You’re it for me, Kara Danvers, you’re the love of my life, and I hope I haven’t made an entire fool of myself by telling you this.
Yours forever,
Lena.
Kara has tears in her eyes as she finishes the letter, hands shaking.
She had no idea.
Kara’s on Lena’s balcony in an instant.
“Kara,” Lena gasps, when she spots the reason for Kara’s sudden visit.
“I…” Kara starts, realising she probably should’ve taken a moment to compose herself, to find her thoughts before coming to see Lena. But she realises there’s only one thing she really needs to say, the rest can wait. “I love you, too.”
Tears are in Lena’s eyes now too.
“And I want all of that with you too, I want a life with you, if you still want that too, I’m not sure how long ago you wrote this letter.”
“I wrote it last week,” Lena says, stepping closer. “I should’ve just given it to you, it’s been agony wondering whether you found it or not.”
“Sorry,” Kara winces. Lena is so much braver than her, she didn’t have the courage to admit her feelings for Lena herself.
Lena shakes her head. “None of that matters now, all that matters is you.”
“Rao, I love you,” Kara says, her forehead falling to rest against Lena’s. She wishes she’d found the letter a week ago, they could’ve been doing this sooner.
Kara’s never going to grow tired of saying those words, now that she can, they’ve been on the tip of her tongue for a long time.
“I love you, too.”
She’s never going to grow tired of hearing them either.
“I’m going to frame this,” Kara says, holding up the slightly crumpled letter between them.
“No, you’re not,” Lena says, tugging the letter free from Kara’s grasp. “I’m going to burn it.”
“You can’t,” Kara takes it back. “I’m keeping it. But fine, I won’t frame it, but I want it as a reminder of the fact that you love me.”
A warm hand settles against Kara’s cheek. She sighs into the feeling. It feels so good, like this is where she belongs.
“I can think of other ways to remind you how much I love you.”
“You mean like kissing?” Kara asks before her brain can stop her mouth.
Lena laughs. “Kissing is one of the ways, if that’s something you want to do too.”
Kara nods enthusiastically. “I very much want to kiss you.”
It’s so freeing, being able to just say these things out loud now, without the fear of losing her best friend.
But then Kara notices the way Lena’s eyes dart down to her lips, and all other thought vanishes from her mind, expect for the one that wonders if Lena’s lips are as soft as they look.
And then Lena’s leaning forward and so is Kara and then lips are on hers, so soft, so warm, and utterly perfect.
Yes, this is definitely where Kara belongs.