Work Text:
Booom, booom, booom.
Asakusa looks over her kingdom, the underwater canals carry sound better than it would in air, and every movement reflects itself along the walls of the waterways.
Wooosh. Wooosh. Wooouh.
She can taste the salt and grime, feel the current as it moves, breathe the little air left behind in her lungs. She closes her eyes and sees specks of color behind her eyelids. The sound takes over senses.
Bwaaa. Kachaaaah. Gobogobogooh.
Stereo turned four dimensions of feeling. Frequencies become heartbeats become things she understands less by logic and more by the invisible force that pulls humans to the depths of the unknown. To the depths of their own souls.
Katatata- chick.
Asakusa opens her eyes once more, bringing her attention to the girl to her right. Doumeki always seemed to understand her without further instruction. Not quite instinctively, but Asakusa knew the two of them were on the same wavelength.
She wondered what Doumeki felt when she heard the breaking of the tide, the click of diving suits, the gurgling of air as it leaves one's lungs.
Does Doumeki ever feel it? The pressure that makes Asakusa’s chest feel like it’s fit to collapse. Wear this, do that, draw this.
Be this.
Asakusa isn’t ‘this’, whatever ‘this’ is. It’s not that she hates the way things are, but that she keeps trying to tell herself that she doesn’t.
Buoooohhhhh. Dodododokaaaan. Brrrrrrr.
The image of Doumeki sitting on the edge of a cliff on their rare day out worms its way into Asakusa’s consciousness. She never approached Doumeki then, her comrade looked far too engrossed in her sound work, and Asakusa became far too engrossed in watching her. Asakusa thinks of the way Doumeki was dressed that day; comfortable, loose fitting. Her shirt was wrapped around her waist leaving her in just her tanktop and shorts.
A crimson binder, with matching shorts- boys section, Asakusa knew.
Batatatata- KACHACK. Ratatatatak.
Asakusa gulps, puts her hand on her own chest. It’s flatter than it usually is, and Kanamori- who she knows never really went through puberty quite the same way Asakusa herself went through- never pointed it out the first time that was the case. She never pointed out when Asakusa began to use more masculine terms to speak, nor when she came barging into Kanamori’s room with her new shorts- boys section, and camo.
That isn’t to say she never asked questions, but that when asked Asakusa knew she didn't want to be a boy. It’s not that she disliked being a girl though, just that she was convincing herself she didn't.
And then she met Doumeki.
Who speaks however she wants, and wears whatever she wants, and does whatever she likes.
Click.
And it felt like a realization.
“How was that, Asakusa-san?”
“Ah, um,” Asakusa blinks out of her thoughts and scoots forward on her chair, pointing towards the screen in front of Doumeki, “it went pretty well, but I think the ‘dokkaaaaan’ in cut fifteen needs to be a bit more emphasised…”
Doumeki hums, clicking away on her equipment.
“Is everything okay,” Doumeki says, less as a question and more as a statement. Her voice stays level, and her eyes continue to focus on their task, but the words still take Asakusa by surprise.
Maybe a lifetime ago Asakusa would’ve brushed it off. Back then she’dve found a reason to avoid saying anything at all, wether that’s running away or hiding behind someone else didn’t matter.
Now, she pushes the collar of her uniform up over her chin and braces herself for impact.
“Do you… ever feel like you’re not quite a girl, Doumeki-kun?”
Doumeki freezes for barely a second.
“Why do you ask.”
“I… I feel like I,” Asakusa pulls her knees up to her chin, wishing she had her bunny with her, “I think I don’t feel like one. Much. Th-that’s not to say I think I’m a boy necessarily. Not really. I mean it’s not like I’m not really a girl either but it’s just-“
“Yeah. Yeah I get it.”
Silence.
Asakusa blinks, “really?”
“Mhm. I don’t really tell people unless they ask though. What pronouns?”
“Huh?”
“Pronouns. What do you go by. I prefer them but I don’t really care that much.”
“Oh, I never- you can do that?”
Doumeki raises their eyebrow, “you didn’t know? But Kanamori-san’s been using them for you for a while now. I thought you were out.”
“What? No I- I mean I knew that it just never occured to me that people actually- wait Kanamori-kun did what?” Asakusa blushes.
That makes Doumeki actually turn around. They look at Asakusa for just a second, before bursting into laughter.
The absurdity of the situation hits Asakusa shortly after, and she ends up laughing along too. With each breath her chest clears, bubbles flying upwards towards nowhere. She feels light, like she’s been fighting to swim upstream, when home was always in the direction of the current. Asakusa closes her eyes, and lets the sounds carry her heart to where it belongs She lets herself get washed away, opens her eyes and sees the light at the end of the tunnel, her friends hands breaching the surface, held out for her- or them- or maybe even him- to hold.
Booooom booooom booooom.
Asakusa reaches out, and holds onto the steady figures above.
Badump badump badump.
And for the first time since Asakusa can remember.
Brrrrrrrrrr.
Asakusa feels like themself.
Click.